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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

That’s going on the Netflix list as soon as its available.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Having looked up who the oft-mentioned Cumberbatch is … nope.

Nor Craig, nor Brand (ugh, way to spoil a great head of hair by having him attached to it).

If we’re talking classic – Gregory Peck. Handsome, and a pretty damn good human being as well.

I wonder if hostileknickersinatwist Asshole McGee would be so pleased at the attack on the Queen’s portrait if it’d been the King’s portrait? Is it about monarchy or because it’s a woman who’s head of state? Or is he just another anti-monarchy wanker who knows jack shit about it?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Thought though – given that my response to Pegg is “aw, cuddle” rather than “hey baby, let’s fuck”…that’s misandry, isn’t it? I’m imaginary friendzoning a movie star, there must be a special circle of PUA Hell for women who do that.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I saw “World’s End” in the theater, and it’s hilarious. The soundtrack was like time-travel.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Yup, totes misandry. Even though it shows your’e not being hypergamous.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Their soundtracks are always awesome, which is part of why I think they’d make great drinking buddies. Can you imagine the drunken music geek conversations?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Doesn’t hypergamous mean whatever is most convenient at the time to PUAs, though? As in, well OK so he’s rich and famous but he’s kind of short so obviously hypergamous in this context would mean “wants men who’re tall”.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Actually … if one turned down Mr Alpha Filmstar for a poor sad beta NiceGuyTM, one would still be doing something wrong. Dunno what, but that misandry would show up somehow.

kittehserf
11 years ago

All the words mean what MRAs/PUAs want them to mean at any given moment.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Actually that could be the derail next time we have a troll that needs ignoring, celebrities that are less “hey baby” and more “awesome imaginary friend”.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Can you imagine the drunken music geek conversations?

They would be EPIC.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

It would be an adult version of the “is Goofy a dog?” conversation from Stand By Me.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

He can’t be a dog. He drives a car and wears a hat.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Celebrities you’d like as a friend! I like that.

Plus, it’d be friendzoning them, omg misandry!

Hmm, I’d like Emma Thompson as a friend, after reading her diary from when she made Sense and Sensibility.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Also, if we’re still talking Persons of Hotness, I’mma linking to the latest pic of a certain hot person outside a millilner’s.

Hats! Scarves! Jewellery! Tights! Bags!

Damn I love that shop. 🙂

cloudiah
11 years ago

I would totally hang out in a bar with Simon Pegg. Who’s arranging that?

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

He can’t be a dog. He drives a car and wears a hat.

Which is why, by Disney logic, he is a dog-shaped person, just as Mickey is a mouse-shaped person. Pluto is a dog, as opposed to a dog-shaped person, which is why he can belong to Mickey.

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

gillyrosebee – That always confised me. Is Goofy related to Pluto in some way? Is there some sort of mutation that allows one to talk?

AND WHAT ABOUT THE CANNIBALISM?! I mean, there’s at least one scene of Donald Duck eating roasted fowl, and at least one of him hunting fellow ducks. WHAT ABOUT THE CANNIBALISM?!

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Pez, cherry flavored pez. That’s easy.

Also, VtM there’s a line “what are going to do, shoot us all?” and every time my brain completes it with “no Ace, just you”

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

To catch up with all the shit I started:

Unlike most people here, I don’t necessarily object to the destruction of property in furtherance of civil rights goals. However that would be with a few caveats – no destruction of homes or art. So, corporations and big business can have a few windows smashed for all I care (hello NSA), as the suffragettes after all their other efforts had been in vain (second caveat, which MRAs miss). There’s more like that but for the sake of brevity it’s not particularly something I’m willing to discuss here, but yes, I have thought about it long and hard and it’s the conclusion I reached, but I know it’s not a universal way to do things and I also know lots of people disagree.

@ahostileworld

You didn’t answer my questions. Point out where you addressed F4J planning kidnap or explained how their methods of getting into superhero costumes and sitting on things until they were arrested helped them to convince judges they could provide good care for children? They weren’t denied custody for being men, they were denied custody for being unfit. I crunched the maths elsewhere (will provide link if people want), in the UK, 90% of custodial arrangements are reached amicably. The 10% remaining go to the courts. Of those, only 0.3% result in one parent being unable to see the child. Of the 10%, over 50% get exactly what they’re asking for.

———————————-

Re: hot famous people:

I don’t fancy anyone hot and famous. I’m one of those irritating people who is almost entirely attracted to personality. So I find a few characters attractive, but when I see the actors in something else – nothing. I don’t even have a ‘type’ or any physical characteristics* I go for, but I would never, ever date someone who’s political values weren’t in tune with mine.

Oh oh and I know something about one of the names that was being bandied about a couple of pages ago but it would probably be libel if I told you :/

(*last romantic connections before BoyFantastic – massive bloke who would make the perfect Bear, androgynous/butch woman, hyper-femme woman. BoyFantastic – archetypal skinny vegan.)

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

Alice, apparently it has to do with wearing pants…

…WHICH MUST BE WHY MRAS GET SO FREAKED OUT BY WOMEN WANTING TO WEAR PANTS!!!!11!1!!!1!!11!!!eleven!!

*mind totally blown*

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

If nat’s gossip matches mine it’s probably about Cumberbatch.

My favorite example of F4J completely failing at activism was when they decided to get naked in Marks & Spencers.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/316172/20120319/fathers-4-justice-naked-protest-marks-spencer.htm

Targeting the advertisers of a site you think is publishing objectionable content actually makes some sense, but the whole “get naked in the flagship store” thing was a misstep. Sure, it draws attention, but not the good kind of attention. They’re just lucky that Brits are a lot more blase about flashing than a lot of other cultures.

La Strega
11 years ago

Ooh, so glad I didn’t entirely miss the “who’s good looking” thread here… As I am getting older, I am developing all kinds of crushes. Second adolescence? At the moment, it is Christoph Waltz and Peter Dinklage. I’ve always liked the jolie-laide (ugly/pretty) type of man, and strong, sensual women. I am still infatuated with Katherine Moenig (she played “Shane” on the L Word) and Queen Latifah. Almost anyone I like becomes “crushable” to me.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
11 years ago

@CassandraSays

No, not him! It’s not that interesting to be honest. Actor seen with a large quantity of drugs! I’ll let you all scrape your jaws off the floor.

toujoursgai
11 years ago

Katherine Moenig! I agree, she’s gorgeous. And Queen Latifah was one of my favorite parts of “Chicago.”

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