The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of people.
Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.
It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.
Here’s what it gets right:
1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.
2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.
As Kelly notes:
Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …
Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.
Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:
According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.
It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.
In other words: Cool story, bro.
3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,
the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.
“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”
Indeed, Kelly writes:
It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.
But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.
1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.
2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.
3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?
I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.
4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!
Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!
Are you allowed to burn books if they’re art books? How about if they’re kitschy and pro-monarchy? Do you have to remove all the books from a house before burning it down, or is that the big book burning loophole and you’re allowed to burn as many books as you like as long as they’re all in a house?
We’re asking all these questions because you’re so obviously completely divorced from anything anyone else uses as a base for morality that there’s no point in trying to reason with you because there’s no possible shared ground to start from. So we’re all just satisfying our curiosity.
@ahostileworld
Nope. Just because you apparently can’t discuss things on the internet doesn’t mean the same for everyone. Own your shit.
“MRAs are like this” statements are based on repeated observation in various environments. Not clichés.
“Men are like that” statements are not statements that will be heard from many feminists, I certainly haven’t seen many here (though I have seen a great many coming from MRAs…).
And “because” is not the extent of the evidentiary support given.
It kinda seems like you’re not actually bothering to read much of what’s being written… it would explain your inability to directly answer questions.
Heresy. BURN HER!
Visceral hatred? Brussels sprouts. And cauliflower. All the brassicas but broccoli, really.
ahostileworld: Nice try, but no.
“White Knight” and “mangina” are actual terms used by MRAs to describe any man who does not agree with their world-view. You are defending the MRM. This is what they spout.
Now, you said:
“Well, yeah, of course a few people who hate men and boys by default used it as another welcome justification for their visceral hatred. As if they ever needed one. But you are not everyone. And me and many of my peers started discussing subjects pertaining to child protection and men’s rights in much more detail than we used to.”
“But you are not everyone.” “You” in that sentence referring back to those visceral man-haters; “you” referring to us here. And no one here has expressed any hatred towards men and boys. Some of us here are men.
This is the old “feminism equals man-hatred” tripe, and it’s freaking old.
Tell me one I haven’t heard.
My visceral hatred is reserved for those who blaspheme against the almighty Cumberbatch. ¬_¬
Cassandra:
Seconded. (Being weird is fun!) I lol’d at the idea of WTF Price being physically attractive to me. But also, unavailability? Hmm, well, it’s always pleasing when someone says MrSerf is handsome/fanciable/whatever, but it came as a surprise the first time anyone did, and doing a “Ha ha you can’t have him” is certainly not why I’m attracted to him.
Not that it would be okay if it did work, but the art defacing incident has done the exact opposite of what our troll intended: It’s moved the conversation completely away from anything related to custody and instead made it completely about art.
If you had any understanding of why say such things about MRAs, you would find your charge of hypocrisy pretty silly. The MRAs who say terrible things don’t just consist of people who no one cares about; they also consist of influential figures like Paul Elam, Karen Straughan, Warren Farrell, Erin Prizzey, and Angry Harry.
And yes, women are oppressed. Where are you getting this idea that there are stereotypes against men being thrown around here?
Throw that visceral hate at me, because I don’t get the Cumberbatch thing either.
Obvious troll is obvious, everyone. There’s a reason nothing he says scans.
@ hellkell
It think it’s because I don’t like craggy faces in general. Daniel Craig does nothing for me either. I like pretty.
ceebarks –
Me, me, pick me!
Granted I’m single-target (stuff TV Tropes, it is real) as far as seeing anyone as hot goes, but he doesn’t do anything for me all. He’s not the sort I could imagine being turned on by.
Bleagh. He’s too bony, even when he picked up some pounds to play Kaaaaaaaahn, he was too skinny and a bit too pretty for me.
I watch Sherlock for my Martin Freeman fix!
Okay, okay, and for the good writing.
Cassandra: Yeah, Craig’s not my thing either, but at least I can see why he’s considered hot. Now, Simon Pegg I think is absolutely adorable.
To be fair, the art conversation is kind of interesting if you ignore any contributions from hostility boy. I like talking about art, I just don’t like talking to obvious trolls who are super obvious.
Pegg (and his working buddy) are good examples of how personality plays into all of this. Physically? Not my type. But his personality does make him kind of appealing, because yep, adorable.
ahostileword: “It’s like pushing diarrhea up a mountain with a toothpick.”
Stay classy!
Sparky,
The word “mangina” also shows how degenerate and immature their politics have always been. Who uses words like “mangina” and expects to be taken seriously?
Cassandra… Hellkell… Gillyrosebee… I’m surrounded by heathen monsters!
AUGH!
Martin Freeman is pretty awesome too, I’ll grant you that. Actually, if I had to give an attractiveness-based reason for watching Sherlock… Louise Brealey. (Molly) She was in Bleak House, too!
Oh, and he should never have been Khan. The man’s supposed to be an Indian warlord ffs, not English McBritishface. He should’ve been what’s-his-face – the second-in-command pretty boy with the name that I forget… should’ve foreshadowed Khan’s arrival in film #3 or something… oh wells.
Anyway, AUGH! And I’m going to go sleep now. G’night all.
Seconding (thirding?) Simon Pegg both for adorable, in both physicality and personality. He sounds like a great guy to hang around with.
Nighers, Athywren!
I really can’t imagine a more stereotypically English face than Cumberbatch’s. Even if he was cast as a different flavor of Euro I’d have a hard time not spending the whole movie going “but he looks so English”.
Have any of you ever seen Pegg interviewed with Nick Frost (the taller, more heavyset dark haired guy who’s in a lot of his movies)? Those two are hilarious together, they seem like they’d make great drinking buddies.
Well, their latest movie is about a pub crawl…