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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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ahostileworld
11 years ago

And let’s be clear: I NEVER said that felling those masts was wrong. I used it as an example of a legitimate political movement legitimately causing material damage in an effort to accomplish legitimate goals.

melody
11 years ago

I thought the original person who brought up burning houses was talking about the rape victims house getting burnt down.
Which is the main reason I’m so baffled our new little troll is going on about how burning houses is okay. Because its “okay” in war.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

cloudiah: How ’bout Whistler’s “Arrangement in Gray and Black No 1” aka “Whistler’s Mother”? She obviously a matriarch….

ahostileworld: Again, what did destroying the “kitsch” accomplish?

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

talacaris:

I think that could be the case, but I don’t know that there’s a class-specific split in underachievement from boys specifically; are there studies that show that? I’m not saying it’s not the case, at any rate! I’d just personally thought the gender difference was more more universal, class-wise.

My assumption was that the girlification of studying and high academic achievement began when academic pursuits were opened to women (as opposed to the 1800s view that women would be mentally harmed by scholasticism and that they weren’t capable of it in the first place). Historically, men as a group seem to move away from things that were once men-only but have become gender nonspecific, which leads to those things becoming designated woman-only things, or at least “unmanly.”

Could be some of both, though! I wonder if the difference is there across the board but more pronounced in working-class boys? Anyone have any literature on the subject?

ahostileworld
11 years ago

It got people’s attention.

melody
11 years ago

I’ll be honest though I haven’t read ALL the comments. And am likely not going to.

I’m heading to work shortly. I’ll try to catch up on comments when I can. No guarantee (some days the shift is easy and some days the cops have to be called).

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

Be serious for a minute. That tacky piece of kitsch queen’s portrait wasn’t art.

I am exactly, precisely serious. I don’t have to like something for it still to qualify as art (this is why I included the Gainsborough). Even your constant assertion that the portrait is kitsch acknowledges the painting’s status as art – kitsch is lowbrow and mass/pop culture, yes. But it is accepted as art.

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Seriously, I can’t believe I have to say this, but THERE IS NO GENDER WAR.

The only “war” that exists is in the heads of MRAs. That’s why MRAs frame it as a gender war, and why feminists see it as more of a pathetic tantrum trying to peer pressure others to join in. That’s it.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

We’re going over this again? There is no objective standard. What is art to one person is crap to the next one.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@ostarta

Shorter troll: feminists talking about rape culture in an attempt to increase awareness and make the issues easier to talk about is bad but other people burning down buildings (possibly with people still inside them) is totes ok because, enemies.

And somehow burning down buildings will eradicate male circumcision because….???

I will be so glad if trollboy answers that because I could use that kind of entertainment today.

@ahostileworld

No. Every time I see this kid – sproiiing goes the troll detector. And no fair-minded person will conclude that the change in topics were all my fault.

::headdesk:::

melody
11 years ago

If its up to the person then why did you dismissively say it was “not art”?

And then you get to be upset when another person defends the art…….

I don’t understand you.

You seem to go back in forth and weave all over the place. I don’t understand what you are trying to say because you keep bouncing back in forth…..

eseldbosustow
11 years ago

And to think, this all started because I said that I would have liked to have seen the author of the article on The Daily Beast to talk about MRAs’ faux-issues like “friendzoning”. xD

*offers a curtsy* It’d be fun to jump into this conversation and get back to that since I missed 8 pages of comments.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

And let’s be clear: I NEVER said that felling those masts was wrong. I used it as an example of a legitimate political movement legitimately causing material damage in an effort to accomplish legitimate goals.

Sorry? You called them villains.

What do you think of the suffragettes sawing down telegraph masts between London and Glasgow? Villains for destroying a fine example of British engineering?

Last time I checked my dictionary, “villain” was a word used to describe the antagonist or “bad” individual in a situation. Now, pecunium offered you a good faith response to your question where he made the point you argue that you were trying to make

In the wrong for destroying infrastructure. Less culpable for it being replaceable.

I’m still interested in your answer to the question I asked you about the difference between vandalizing a work of (admittedly political mass culture) art versus the question of a piece of industrial manufacture, without all the handwaving on the subject of individual taste.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

I do not get upset. Apologies if I created the impression. If people consider the portrait, the movie ‘American Pie’ or the Harry Potter series artistic, then more power to them.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

‘ You called them villains’

And you conveniently left out the question mark. Including it would have made it more difficult to wrench my example out of context. Quotemining is dishonest.

eseldbosustow
11 years ago

With all due respect, when the hell did this thread turn into a philosophical discussion of art theory, and what does that have to do with the failure of the journalist to present the MRM for what it really is?

eseldbosustow
11 years ago

Right… because not answering people’s legitimate questions directly and shrugging it off lends integrity to your arguments, ahostileworld.

ahostileworld
11 years ago

I thought you said you didn’t read the thread. Quick to take sides are we?

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

We’re going over this again? There is no objective standard. What is art to one person is crap to the next one.

Disingenuous at best. The individual in question didn’t go out and spray paint a sign or a poster. He defaced a painting that, whether you like it or not, is a work of art on display in a museum.

Okay, Westminster Abbey, but still, on display as a work of art. How is that equivalent to the telegraph pole example? Is it okay to burn down houses so long as they were designed by a builder and not an architect or engineer? Is it okay to deface a painting so long as it’s a portrait of a person and not a landscape? If it were not considered valuable by some people then no one would want to deface it, because no one would care.

But you indicated that cutting down telegraph poles was an equivalent act, and you suggested that this had to do with the “art” of British engineering. I’d like a little explication of this rather questionable suggestion.

talacaris
11 years ago

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=3&cad=rja&ved=0CDkQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.edu.gov.on.ca%2Feng%2Fliteracynumeracy%2Finspire%2Fresearch%2Fmartino.pdf&ei=o4tlUpK2EMKh4gTEmIHICA&usg=AFQjCNFAChvrOGggOpVJFkqVqxhlsyMt0A&bvm=bv.54934254,d.bGE some article i found

Many nowadays seem to think that boy’s underachievement cannot be studied without respect to the interaction with class and ethnicity, all boys are not at risk. But I didn’t find any any conclusive answers on a quick search. Anybody has good links?

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

esled – Becaise something something about feminists not knowing what art is something something feminists are stupid and uneducated something something men’s rights something something they don’t really get it something something subjective something something MRA movement is really a legitimate human rights movement and not an excuse to hate on women. *nod*

ahostileworld
11 years ago

(It must be my broken English!)

***Saying that the portrait was ‘a piece of art’ begs the question. ***

I don’t know how many more ways I can paraphrase this for the umptieth time. Anyone can say this or that (a telegraph mast, a dog turd, a nice jacket) is a piece of art. It does not make it universally true.

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Let’s be clear, this is what got said:

Everyone (paraphrased): Destroying art and historical artifacts is a kinda shitty thing to do…

Asshole McGee: What do you think of the suffragettes sawing down telegraph masts between London and Glasgow? Villains for destroying a fine example of British engineering?

Everyone (paraphrased): Umm, that’s… not art?

Asshole McGee: What passes for art is in the eye of the beholder. Fine engineering is a form of art.

Everyone (paraphrased): So… You think tearing down telegraph poles is the same as vandalizing historical artworks… your thought process is nigh-incomprehensible, really.

Asshole McGee: [D]o you honestly think there is *never* any justification for burning down your enemies’ houses? It’s always wrong then, is it mate? May I just ask then how WW2 was won by the allies? Did Churchill and Stalin win it by being respectful connoisseurs of fine central European architecture?

Everyone (paraphrased): That’s… that’s not really how war works. That’s not even how WWII worked, frankly. Burning houses is… kind of pointless, dude. Also burning houses =/= pointless vandalization of irreplaceable artworks. Also working for human rights is not the equivalent of a war.

Asshole McGee (paraphrased): Blathers on about irrelevant things from WWII that have nothing to do with human rights campaigns.

Everyone (paraphrased): … This is stupid.

Asshole McGee (paraphrased): NONVIOLENT PROTEST IS WORTHLESS!!!1!!111!

Everyone (paraphrased): Damn, is this chump REALLY this ignorant? Dude, you’re wrong. *Cites historically-successful leaders of nonviolent protest groups*

Asshole McGee (paraphrased): NO YOU’RE WRONG BECAUSE I SAID SO AND THERE WERE PEOPLE BEING VIOLENT FOR THE SAME CAUSES SO NONVIOLENT PROTEST IS USELESS BECAUSE THOSE NONVIOLENT GUYS HAD NO IMPACT WHATSOEVER!

Asshole McGee (paraphrased): Wrecking art is cool but burning books is bad!

Asshole McGee (paraphrased): I’ve never said anything contradictory in my life!

Everyone (paraphrased): What an example of disingenuous douchebaggery.

eseldbosustow
11 years ago

I had a chance to get caught up, ahostileworld.

So tell me: what’s so legitimate about the MRM that it’s required again? And here’s a question: do we need the MRM if other groups are already handling those legitimate issues without the need for being misogynists, conspiracy theorists, and all around fools?

Go.

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

Be serious for a minute. That tacky piece of kitsch queen’s portrait wasn’t art.

Galleries are full of shit that I don’t consider art. Doesn’t mean I’m willing to deface them in the name of some cause or other. Certainly not in the name of retaining rights while failing to live up to the required responsibilities. If f4j would put their efforts toward being responsible and reliable parents, they’d get their wish much sooner. (If you check out their founder’s history, you’ll notice that this is precisely how he managed to regain access to his children.)

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