The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of people.
Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.
It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.
Here’s what it gets right:
1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.
2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.
As Kelly notes:
Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …
Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.
Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:
According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.
It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.
In other words: Cool story, bro.
3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,
the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.
“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”
Indeed, Kelly writes:
It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.
But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.
1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.
2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.
3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?
I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.
4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!
Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!
Now you keep asking me about stuff that I would burn. It’s weird. Time for a cigarette, I guess.
Argh…. Sorry for the wall-o-screed… and for neglecting to explicitly include the non-binary and trans* folk.
Thanks to opheliamonarch for sharing your story and to Keith as well for identifying as a survivor here. As one of the (far too fucking many) rape survivors in this community, you have my empathy and solidarity.
You’re all over the place, ahostileworld.
Both Ghandhi and Dr. King were very much against violence and “breaking shit.” And yeah, that does work. And I’m having a really hard time coming up with anything about the civil rights movement causing property damage; are referring to the race riots that broke out in several cities during that time period? Because you do know that riots were not part of the civil rights movement, right? (Can’t speak to the Indian Independence movement, not terribly familiar with that history. I’m sure there are others who can). And big difference, the leaders roundly condemned property destruction and violence, rather than condone such.
And what, exactly, did destroying a “tacky piece of monarchist crap” accomplish? Beside making FFJ look like wingnuts?
Ok, one, from what I’ve seen, the MRM has done precious little by way of “asking nicely.” Or, anything at all, really, other than use said issues to bash feminists with. Two, there’s nothing “fake” about ADHD, as anyone who has ever suffered from it will tell you; and it is not some evil conspiracy to drug little boys into compliance. You think it’s over-diagnosed or that medication is used to freely, fine, but that is a separate issue. You trying to say that “normal” male behavior is being turned into a pathology? Fine, I’ll see you and raise you hysteria, menopause, pregnancy and PMS, all of who h have been treated as “disorders” by the medical/psychological establishment at one time or the other. In the case of hysteria, a totally made up diagnosis for uppity women.
Society and government “not willing to listen” to white men? What freaking planet are you from? Take a look at who runs society and government. At least here in the US, it’s a bunch of freaking white men!
Yeah, take a cue from Marie and look up what the word “entitled” means.
For everyone else, here are some nice quotes from Ghandhi and Dr. King as some verbal brain bleach:
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/13576-returning-violence-for-violence-multiplies-violence-adding-deeper-darkness-to
http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/38320.html
Ophelia – you’re not selfish. It’s okay. *offers all the hugs*
@gillyrosebee, you can call me Ophelia 🙂 and thank you, I’m so sorry for what you went through.
I mean, nonviolence works. Breaking shit rarely does, it just makes the one doing the breaking look bad.
Shorter troll: feminists talking about rape culture in an attempt to increase awareness and make the issues easier to talk about is bad but other people burning down buildings (possibly with people still inside them) is totes ok because, enemies.
And somehow burning down buildings will eradicate male circumcision because….???
Thanks Alice, you’re lovely. 🙂
Also, from now on I’m hearing all of hostilewank’s wankery in the voice of Basil Fawlty.
You were the one who explicitly put the idea of destroying cultural artifacts (one of a kind, irreplacable, as opposed to products of industrial manufacturing like telegraph poles) on the table. Once you’ve made a threat, it’s reasonable for others to try to define the parameters of what you are willing to destroy in your quest for attention for your petulant tantrums.
And opheliamonarch,you don’t need to apologize. I thought you were very brave for sharing your story.
Huh, the current disingenuous chump is still refusing to respond to me. Iiiiiiinteresting, coming from someone who came in here loudly demanding a debate with someone. If I didn’t know better, I’d think someone was afwaid of meanie-pants words!
HEY ASSHOLE YOU STILL HAVEN’T EXPLAINED WHY YOU THINK BURNING SHIT DOWN IS HARMLESS FUN WARTIMES BUT SAWING DOWN TELEGRAPH POLES IS AN AWFUL AFFRONT TO ART THE WORLD OVER PLZ ELUCIDATE
Oi! I did not threaten anyone. I said that breaking things is a reasonable form of political expression. And you fine people have delivered a series of powerrul refutations. And I thank you for it.
ahostileworld: Will you answer dustydeste’s question, or just throw out a bunch of other unrelated things?
No. Every time I see this kid – sproiiing goes the troll detector. And no fair-minded person will conclude that the change in topics were all my fault.
STILL NO EXPLANATION OF OUTRAGEOUS COGNITIVE DISSONANCE OVER ARTISTIC AND CULTURAL VALUE OF VARIOUS OBJECTS PLZ EXPLAIN
Also, threat does not imply threatening people’s personal safety; a threat is anything you threaten to do. In this case, burning shit down, vandalizing art, etc. That is the threat you have made, you willfully ignorant chump.
@sparky, you nice. :). And Ophelia’s fine for all none wankers thanks, bit long otherwise.
@Dustydeste, I don’t think he’ll ever answer any questions about his political shit directly, it took three goes for him say if he was British or not!
LOL JACKASS PRETTY SURE YOUR TROLL DETECTOR’S ONLY GOING OFF CONSTANTLY BECAUSE YOU’RE HOLDING IT
Ophelia, many thanks and I agree with the others that you have nothing to apologize for!
Quick point on my comment above; speaking, petitioning, advocating, marching, publishing letters and articles, on circumcision or any other topic = activism. Whingeing on the internet about burning houses and defacing artwork = petulant tantrums.
@ dustydeste Because, you see, in the age of mechanical reproduction, we’ve stripped aura from the object itself, so the product of an industrial manufacturing process can be just as precious as a painting that can’t be reproduced.
Also because he said so, and, you know, he has those fair and logical reasons and all that.
@Ophelia – I don’t think he will either, but I also think he’s a blazing hypocrite and that bears pointing out. Constantly.
Oy @hostilefuckhead! ‘this kid’?
Answer Dustedeste or fuck off, you’re the troll here.
@dustydeste, *nods in agreement.*
Dvärghundspossen:
I think one of the reasons for boy’s lower grades is a strong identification with a working-class masculinity where studying is considered unmanly, which is not true for middle-class masculinities. So I wouldn’t say this is a problem for boys in general, it is for working-class boys.
Why working class girls are not affected in a similar manner , my speculation is that women were never counted as Real Workers the same way and hence have more freedom in this aspect.
I’m trying to figure out which work of art I should destroy/deface to end circumcision. Anyone have any nominations? Michelangelo’s David seems too obvious.
Hey, hostile, I’m curious too. I get that a feat of engineering can be as beautiful as a painting or a sculpture or a poem. Seriously and with no snark, I’m a big fan of Calatrava. But the art of engineering lies not in the individual structural members, at least not to the degree that the art of a Van Gogh or a Rembrandt, or even a Gainsborough lies in its brushstrokes.
So how, exactly, is cutting down a telegraph pole the same as defacing a painting?
Be serious for a minute. That tacky piece of kitsch queen’s portrait wasn’t art.