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The Daily Beast takes on the Men’s Rights movement — and takes down A Voice for Men’s John Hembling

John Hembling, possibly lying about something
John Hembling, possibly lying about something

The bad publicity bonanza for Men’s Rights activists continues — and it couldn’t happen to a worse group of  people.

Yesterday, the Daily Beast published a long-awaited piece on the Men’s Rights movement, and it’s a doozy. If you’re a regular reader of this site, trust me, you’ll want to read the whole thing, like now. The piece, by R. Tod Kelly, is long — some 6000 words — but worth it.

It’s mostly on the money, but with a few notable flaws.

Here’s what it gets right:

1) It captures the pervasive misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in general, and of A Voice for Men in particular.

2) In an extended section, it profiles AVFM’s John Hembling, and tears apart some of his most blatant lies — including the now legendary box-cutter incident, in which Hembling claims to have stared down a mob of 20-30 feminists brandishing boxcutters.

As Kelly notes:

Vancouver police records show that there was indeed an altercation in September of 2012 between Hembling and others seeking to tear down men’s rights posters. However, according to the police, Hembling was arguing with two or three people, not being accosted by a “mob” of any size. When questioned by the authorities, neither Hembling nor witnesses mentioned seeing any weapons. …

Curiously enough, Hembling actually videotaped the events and had his AV4M Radio partner Karen Straughan post it online. The discussion with the police has been conveniently edited out, but the rest of the video clearly matches police records and not Hembling’s story. There are only a few young men taking down Hembling’s posters, and the video shows them choosing to ignore him except when he engages them in conversation. One of the men is seen using a box cutter to take down the flyers, but at no time does he use it as a weapon, raise his voice, or threaten Hembling in any way.

Kelly found some troubling, er, discrepancies in another story told by Hembling. Kelly writes:

According to Hembling, sometime around 1995 he was on his way home at 2:00 am after working a night shift when he came upon [a sexual] assault in progress. He says he used his steel-toed boots as weapons to chase off the perpetrator. When the victim was too distraught to speak with him, Hembling says he contacted the police, waited until they arrived, and then quietly left without speaking to them. He says they later tracked him down at his home, where he gave a statement.

It’s hard to know whether this event actually occurred or not. There is no record—at least, not in the Vancouver police files—of Hembling being a material witness to a rape, and police blotters from that time period do not show a crime that matches Hembling’s description. However, this does not necessarily mean the event did not occur. Vancouver police did not fully computerize their data until 2002, and it is possible the police never reported the incident. Hembling claims the incident took place at a specific hospital, where he says he worked as a contractor for 18 months. The address he gives, however, is for a different hospital in a completely different part of the city. This raises the curious question of whether Hembling forget the name of the hospital he contracted with for 18 months, or whether he forget what part of the city he worked in for that same period of time. The real truth of the matter is anyone’s guess, because Hembling wouldn’t comment to The Beast on that or any other matter.

In other words: Cool story, bro.

3) Another thing the story gets right: it makes clear just how little the Men’s Rights movement does to actually help men — and how in many ways it can actually be terribly damaging to men who need real help. As Kelly writes,

the movement’s radicals might … do … immediate damage to those who most desperately need the MRM to succeed.

“When we talk about recovery from trauma and abuse, there were two things that helped me,” says Chris Anderson, executive director of the male-victim advocacy group Male Survivor and a sexual abuse survivor himself. “The first was realizing that I’m not alone; the second was hearing that recovery was possible.” Anderson is quick to dissociate himself from the men’s rights movement: “In [the MRM] people get that first message, that they’re not alone. I don’t know that they ever get the second message. And when they don’t get that second message, it turns into an endless feedback loop and eventually they say, ‘Oh my God, all of society is f**ked.’”

Indeed, Kelly writes:

It is telling to note that of the professional male-victim advocacy organizations I spoke with, every single one specifically asked that I not allow readers to think they were in any way related to the MRM.

But there are also some things that I think the article gets wrong.

1) I think it gives Men’s Rights activists way too much credit for their supposed good intentions. While there are some MRAs who do seem to be motivated at least in part by a sincere desire to help men, most of the MRAs I’ve encountered in the 3 years of doing this blog have clearly been motivated primarily by anger and hatred of feminists — and women in general. They don’t really seem to give a shit about doing anything to actually improve the lives of men — and the paucity of their accomplishments reflects this. In its relatively brief lifespan, AVFM has raised many hundreds of thousands of dollars. Has it set up any shelters or hotlines or helplines for men? Not a one.

2) It wildly exaggerates the importance of Hembling to the MRM — especially ironic given that Hembling has been more or less AWOL in recent months, producing only a few short videos and one article for AVFM.

3) It paints a picture of The Spearhead’s WF Price as a Men’s Rights “moderate.” Really? While it’s true that Price is not an AVFM-style hothead given to rants about “fucking your shit up,” his views are anything but moderate. This is a guy who thinks higher education is wasted on women, who blames the epidemic of rape in the armed forces on women, who celebrated one Mothers Day with a vicious transphobic rant, who once used the tragic death of a woman who’d just graduated from college to argue that “after 25, women are just wasting time.” He published posts on why women’s suffrage is a bad idea. Plus, have you met his commenters?

I was, however, kind of amazed to learn that Price is married … and to a feminist. No, really.

4) The article, while solidly researched, contains some small errors and simplifications that will no doubt give MRAs and others the excuse they need to dismiss the whole thing. Kelly refers to Reddit subreddits as Reddit “threads!” He refers to Matt Forney as an MRA! Oh no!

Still, whatever its flaws, this is an important piece, and one that tells a lot of truth about the Men’s Rights movement. Again — go read it!

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katz
11 years ago

I mean, I could say “damaging inanimate objects can cause real harm to real people, like if you destroyed all of someone’s lifesaving medicine then zie would die even though you didn’t actually touch zir, and that would be wrong.” But what kind of person doesn’t understand this already? For that matter, I have no idea why he would think hurting parole was wrong if they were your enemies. No one ever had a revolution without hurting a few people, amirite?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Welcome to this week’s running of the goalposts! You may be concerned that this event won’t be as exciting as that other similar event that happens in Spain, but look on the bright side – unlike the bulls, our trolls are quite incapable of inflicting even the most minor wounds.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Not caught up, and won’t be for awhile, but as gender was what prompted the survey being relevant…

We’re about 60% cis women! and another 30% cis men. But your survey was run by one of those folks not identifying with the gender binary, and I’m good friends with one of the cis men here and will happily tell you this isn’t a den of misandry. In fact, it’s one of the very few places I’m perfectly comfortable being open about my gender.

(I’m going to be replying in spurts to get as much replied to as possible being the internet gets upgraded, not sure how long that will take)

katz
11 years ago

Actually, given that bombings did kill a shit-ton of people, I suppose he’s already advocating killing your enemies and anyone else who happens to be nearby.

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

katz – it’s like “so long as I win, there should be no problems with terrorizing and burning down people’s houses!”

And the next thing you know they start buring effigies of women in their front yards.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

We’re about 60% cis women! and another 30% cis men.

Doesn’t this mean that Manboobz is transier than the average population?

katz
11 years ago

Given that he draws no distinction between acts of war and private acts, or between an act that was the goal, an unavoidable side effect, and an unsanctioned, unnecessary act, I’m sure we could prove that anything is morally right for your movement.

ceebarks
ceebarks
11 years ago

I didn’t even know we were ranked in any formal way to be honest with you. I mean, I get that Brad Pitt is at least six Hottimres ahead of me, but the idea that there is an objective standard of attractiveness? Bizarre.

off-topic but am I the only one who doesn’t think Brad Pitt is particularly hot? He’s just never really done it for me. Maybe he’s just a little before my time, but even pics of him when he was young and cute kind of make me shrug and think “Sure, but there are probably 500 guys at least that cute walking around Fort Bragg right now. Maybe they should get agents…?”

Oh well.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Dvärghundspossen — yep! I’ll pull up that question later, it’s net upgrade time, but I had that as it’s own question and it was definitely more than the population average.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

@Ceebarks: I agree with you on Brad Pitt. And I’m 36, so I should be in the “Brad Pitt is so hot”-age group. Just goes to show that taste is like the butt – divided.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Brad Pitt is boring. Also, just for the sake of accuracy, F4J also defaced The Hay Wain–which I suppose can be seen as a courageous blow against the practice of tenant farming. It would have been a more timely protest before, say, WWII, but whatev.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

So much thread!

I like tall men with broad shoulders, but that’s part of an overall aesthetic that I find attractive that pretty much puts men in the “Sherlock Holmes” archetype as an ideal. And my taste in others is different.

I feel bad for Bill’s wife, but I can understand how/why she could/would ensure that cognitive dissonance is maintained. It’s hard to look at people you care about with the same standards as you look at the rest of the world. The whole MRA thing is totally a deal-breaker for me though.

Rape culture being talked about is a Very Good Thing. Full stop. Without the discussion then things like rape crisis lines wouldn’t have even come into existence, and laws outlawing spousal rape wouldn’t have been passed.

hostile world seemed to have gotten quite off track haven’t they? Let’s see:

They originally stated:

‘Friendzoning’ is of no concern to the overwhelming majority of people concerned about men’s rights. That is one of those myths cooked up to repeatedly strawman what a political movement is all about, quite similar to the ‘men whinge about having to pay for dinner’ strawman. Men’s rights are about the human rights violation that is male genital mutilation, unfair treatment in western educational systems, (lack of) fair treatment in family courts, health concerns, war, and concerns about child abuse.

Friendzoning and paying for dinner is a huge concern for many MRAs. Given a charitable interpretation of their comment I’d say that it’s true, but mostly because I suspect most people concerned with men’s rights are emphatically not MRAs.

Men’s rights are about human right’s violation of MGM, health concerns, war, child abuse – also true, also irrelevant because none of that is what the MRM is actually concerned with preventing or helping. I’d say feminists do more for all those issues than the MRM, and I’d still say it even if no feminist anywhere worked toward helping them because the MRM isn’t just standing still, they’re actively taking steps backward.

And unfair treatment in western education systems, and (lack of) fair treatment in family courts aren’t things. At all.

I feel like I read somewhere that if you include the demographics of prison rape into general rape studies the numbers are about equal? But that’s basically smushing together two completely different problems that require completely different solutions so it’s not really a helpful acknowledgement at all.

katz
11 years ago

Or maybe they just have hay fever.

MordsithJ
MordsithJ
11 years ago

I never got the Brad Pitt thing either.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Dammit, I forgot my snark!

CLEARLY there is an objective standard of beauty for women! Otherwise all those PUAs would be spouting bullshit! Oh wait…

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

Regarding education: Just read today in the morning paper about a school where all the staff had been educated in gender issues, and where boys had much higher grades than they have on average. The school officials explained that’s because they actively discourage destructive gender norms which say that studying hard is “unmanly” and “girlish”, and also an absolute zero-tolerance for bullying. The article is here, although in Swedish: http://www.dn.se/nyheter/sverige/nar-mansrollerna-ifragasatts-hojer-pojkarna-sina-betyg/

cloudiah
11 years ago

The ACLU issued a report on the debtor’s prisons thing, if anyone is interested.

And I believe SittieKitty is correct on the question of counting male rape. Crime that occurs in US prisons is not counted in general crime statistics, and it should be (even if the solutions for reducing it are different).

katz
11 years ago

Ceebarks: “Why is Brad Pitt always the go-to example of a hot guy?” is actually a perennial question around here. We traditionally follow it up with a round of nominating other men to be the new go-to hot guy.

ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

Life’s long, and much better when you get to spend it with people who suit you well and keep you warm at night.

Um, ok. I’m not exactly sure what prevalence this has on anything since, at least given the responses here, it seems most feminist women do not think MRAs would suit them well. Soo…. good for you, I guess?

Maybe you feminists should think a bit about the fact that, as long as we are human, there will never be a resolution to this issue that doesn’t involve “sleeping with the enemy.”

Awww, it’s SO CUTE when they get all “LOL ur all just a bunch of lonely spinsters” like we haven’t heard that approximately a biebillion times before. Bonus points for assuming “sleeping with the enemy” sounds appealing to anyone but himself.

It’s truly telling that he refers to hetero relationships as “sleeping with the enemy”. To me it demonstrates a complete inability to view men and women as equal partners – they must forever be adversaries vying for control.

It sounds like a truly fucking exhausting dynamic to have in a relationship.

katz
11 years ago

(The hay fever comment was in response to why they vandalized the hay wain, btw.)

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

do you honestly think there is *never* any justification for burning down your enemies’ houses?

That’s rich, coming from a dude who’s just coming off whining about sawing down telegraph poles.

Consistent standards of judgment: You should look into that.

tedthefed
tedthefed
11 years ago

I know I’m late to the party here, but… I mean, and this is ALWAYS my question. Why aren’t these guys feminists?
This article, talking about all these issues like male domestic violence victims and equitability in child care and all that, I see these and I’m like, “The only people I’ve ever heard doing anything about this are feminists.”

It’s just so bizarre to me that not only are they NOT part of the group that seem to be the only activists with aligned goals, they actually target those people as the enemy! I know, I know, reactionary, terrified anger, I know. But how weird that this situation exists in the first place.

cloudiah
11 years ago

(@katz, The hay fever comment made me chuckle.)

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

“do you honestly think there is *never* any justification for burning down your enemies’ houses? It’s always wrong then, is it mate? May I just ask then how WW2 was won by the allies? Did Churchill and Stalin win it by being respectful connoisseurs of fine central European architecture?”

Eyebrows just shot through the roof.

Yeah, no, there’s no justification for burning down someones’s house. That’s called arson, and is generally illegal, as well as being, yes, morally reprehensible. And last time I checked, WWII has been over for 68 years now, right? And this is not war.

ahostileworld, you really think its okay to burn down people’s houses?

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

ceebarks, katz: I nominate either Idris Elba or Chris Hemsworth for “archetypal hot guy;” I just *swoons*

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