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Paul Elam of A Voice for Men: In His Own Words

Paul Elam on 20/20
Paul Elam in a web-only clip from the 20/20 segment that never ran on television.

Paul Elam, the founder and primary animating force behind the website A Voice for Men, is probably, for better or worse, the most influential figure in the Men’s Rights movement (or, as he prefers to call it, the Men’s Human Rights Movement).

Elam is also a fierce misogynist with a penchant for angry, violent rhetoric full of only-slightly veiled threats. But don’t take my word for it. Perhaps the best way to get to know Mr. Elam is through his own words.

So here are some of Elam’s thoughts on a variety of issues, taken from postings on his own website.  I have linked each quote back to its source on A Voice for Men.

Paul Elam on Domestic Violence

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess. …

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong. Every one should have the right to defend themselves. …

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Here, courtesy of the Wayback Machine, is the post as it originally appeared on A Voice for Men in 2010, where it was illustrated with a picture of a woman with a black eye, captioned “Maybe she DID have it coming.”

Elam now says this was “satire,” though its hard to see how it is “satire” when he clearly says that he doesn’t think his allegedly “satirical” solution is wrong. When Swift wrote his Modest Proposal he didn’t think that eating babies was actually a good thing; if so, it would not have been a satire.

Paul Elam on Rape

I have ideas about women who spend evenings in bars hustling men for drinks, playing on their sexual desires … And the women who drink and make out, doing everything short of sex with men all evening, and then go to his apartment at 2:00 a.m.. Sometimes both of these women end up being the “victims” of rape.

But are these women asking to get raped?

In the most severe and emphatic terms possible the answer is NO, THEY ARE NOT ASKING TO GET RAPED.

They are freaking begging for it.

Damn near demanding it.

And all the outraged PC demands to get huffy and point out how nothing justifies or excuses rape won’t change the fact that there are a lot of women who get pummeled and pumped because they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

Elam, apparently trying to project a more respectable image, has replaced the original A Voice for Men post containing these passages with a disingenuous disclaimer. But the Internet never forgets. An archived copy of the original post can be found through the Wayback Machine here. The quote is not any better in context.

Paul Elam on Why He Would Vote to Acquit All Rapists

Elam feels that courts are “patently untrustworthy when it comes to the offense of rape” and so, he explained in one post:

Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.

Original post here.

Paul Elam Explains How the Thought of Harming His Critics Sexually Arouses Him

No, I’m not making this up. Here are the strange, threatening remarks he addressed to an opponent of his Register-Her website (on which, more below).

Do you think I am going to stop?

It’s a serious question, because the answer to that question … should inform you of what will work for you or not work for you in dealing with me.

And the answer is, of course, no, I am not going to stop. You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.

Original post here.

Paul Elam on the Necessity of “Inflicting Pain” on Opponents

Progress for men will not be gained by debate, reason or typical channels of grievance available to segments of the population that the world actually gives a damn about. The progress we need will only be realized by inflicting enough pain on the agents of hate, in public view, that it literally shocks society out of its current coma.

You can see this quote in context here.

Paul Elam, the World’s Strangest “Pacifist”

From a post on family courts:

I am a pacifist. I do not advocate violence. But I tell you this. The day I see one of these absolutely incredulous excuses for a judge dragged out of his courtroom into the street, beaten mercilessly, doused with gasoline and set afire by a father who just won’t take another moment of injustice, I will be the first to put on the pages of this website that what happened was a minor tragedy that pales by far in comparison to the systematic brutality and thuggery inflicted daily on American fathers by those courts and their police henchmen.

It would not even so much be a tragedy as the chickens coming home to roost.

You can see the comment in context here.

Paul Elam on Mothers’ Day

To all you mothers of the world, please give your Mother’s Day flowers and give them all generously. Most importantly, give them where they will do the most good. Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.

Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death. …

Inspired? Good. Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics.

He continues on in this vein for some time before getting to this:

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

And he continues on for several more paragraphs of abuse, until this:

In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.

After several more paragraphs of this he makes clear that this time he’s not even claiming he’s writing satire:

Now, do I really mean all this? Yes.

You can read the whole remarkable thing here. He also wrote a similarly unhinged post about Valentines Day, which I wrote about here.

Now, Elam not only says many terrible things; he also does terrible things. Here are a few posts detailing some of these things.

Here’s a post about his website Register-Her, a fake “offenders registry” where feminist writers and activists are vilified alongside female murderers and child abusers, and threatened with the exposure of their personal information, in an attempt to silence them.

Here’s a post about A Voice for Men’s glorification of Thomas Ball, a disturbed man and self-admitted child abuser who set himself on fire on the steps of a courthouse in hopes that his death would inspire Men’s Rights activists to launch a campaign of firebombing attacks against courthouses and police stations.

Despite Elam’s claims of non-violence, A Voice for Men published Ball’s long terrorist manifesto — including his calls for firebombing — on its website, in its “activism” section. It was only after the Boston Marathon bombings that AVFM finally took the manifesto down.

Here’s a post about the time Paul Elam (along with a ragtag team of online misogynists and white supremacists) viciously attacked a young woman as an anti-male, anti-white bigot, resulting in threats directed at her and at her alma mater, Georgetown University. As it turned out, all the attacks on her, from Elam and other, were based on bogus information — as Elam would have known if he had taken ten minutes to fact check his sources.

These quotes, and these articles, are really only the tip of the iceberg. I invite anyone interested in finding out more about what Paul Elam believes to look through my archives at some of my other posts about him, and about A Voice for Men more generally.

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marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Good bit of goal posting moving there, bucko. The MRM is well known for not accomplishing anything (thank goodness.) Advocating violence though, they do in spades. This blog will link you to countless examples of your friend Paul doing exactly that. But now you’ve decided advocating violence is OK as long as everyone’s too lazy to actually, you know, kill the bitch. Anti-feminist murderers include Anders Breivik and Marc Lepine.

And no, Banks’ conviction was overturned. Nothing to do with football. Everything to do with the justice system correcting it’s self in the face of new evidence. He’s hardly an example of someone’s life being ruined, much less evidential support for the claim harm caused by false rape accusations is comparable to harm caused by rape in general.

cloudiah
11 years ago

I bet Dan is actually a feminist sock puppet posting to make the MRM look bad.

Dan
Dan
11 years ago

bodycrimes on October 18, 2013 at 3:00 pmI read Matt Forney’s post about how ABC approached him and mentioned they couldn’t get anybody from the Manosphere to reply to their emails or agree to be interviewed. Funny, eh? These men stand for ‘men’s rights’ and yet when they have a golden opportunity, they run to ground. What a contrast to other civil rights groups, who take every opportunity to present their case.

I agree with this. This is why I attack both sides. Sites like this and sites like a voice for men are jokes a d pathetic.

Believe it or not, I clown both sides for being dumb and irrational.

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Lol, you’re just going to keep shifting the goalposts as the evidence piles up that the MRM in it’s current form is rife with advocation of violence. I guess The Necessity of Domestic Violence never happened!

We’ve established damn near the whole of the MRM is too lazy to get off their asses and follow through with any of the threats they make. The advocation of abuse is still a problem.

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Oh, Dan is TOTES trying to sully the good name of the MRM.

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Yeah, I’ve suffered enough anecdotes as proof of wide-ranging real world problems for the day. I have physics to study.

Dan
Dan
11 years ago

 Anders Breivik

He was diagnosed with NPD and parnoid schizophrenia.

Nothing he did was linked to MRM site.

Marc Lepine

He had a few personality disorders and hatred towards women.
He was not affiliated with any MRM groups.

Try again.

Dan
Dan
11 years ago

If MRM groups were advocating violence like you claimed, then those groups would be on terrorists watch lists. Since I post on those sites the FBI, local law enforcement, and etc would be watching me. Paul also would not have talked to the media.

Any site that advocates violence against Americans is considered a media outlet for
Terrorists. Oh, and threatening to fire bomb court buildings is a felony. If you people are so confident in these threats, then why haven’t any of you people contacted law enforcement?

Dan
Dan
11 years ago

@ Cloudiah, nope I am just calling out your side as liars too.

Most of the MRM posters do not have the guts to debate.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Jesus Christ, Dan, you fucking dolt, PaulE’s own words are in this post. You apparently too stupid to understand them.

Fuck off now, mmmkay?

You’re not worth a fart in high wind to the FBI, but not for the reasons you think.

katz
11 years ago

I was accused of rape a couple of years ago, but I was aggressive with the detectives who interviewed me, I accused the female detective of raping me, just because I was being accused of a rape that didn’t have my DNA in a rape kit. No semen, no skin under the so called victim’s nails, or no proof I was anywhere around. I cussed out both detectives, threatened to sue the police department, the city, DA’s office, and the detectives. However, most guys (especially young Black men) fear the police. That is why they just take plea deals even if they are innocent.

Wow, you sound like a real charmer.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Dan, debating you isn’t good sport. You’re bringing knives to gunfights, son. I’m just going to keep telling you how ignorant you are until you explode, but there’s others here who can and will make mincemeat out of your sorry ass.

Can you say outclassed?

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Katz: not only is he a charming young man, he’s completely ignorant of how the justice system works.

katz
11 years ago

I’ll bite.

Dan, why is it that we have to cite outside sources–and, strangely, only news stories–to prove what Paul Elam writes on his own blog, but your assertion that false rape accusations are a big problem is supposed to be taken as fact with no sources whatsoever?

katz
11 years ago

Katz: not only is he a charming young man, he’s completely ignorant of how the justice system works.

What, you can’t just swear at and sexually harass the detectives and they’ll go “Wow, this guy is really angry, better let him go?”

Next you’ll tell me that if you get into a high-speed chase with the police, you can’t just drive far enough and eventually they’ll go “I guess he got away fair and square.”

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@dan

Based on logic of Mr. Futrelle, men who flash their money, tell a woman how much money he earns, and uses his financial influence to attract women are asking to be used up financially.

I…um….based on what quote? Like, evidence plz.

I am a fair and just person. J

Just because you say it doesn’t make it so.

Just like women shouldn’t come off as sluts in order to get what they want out of a man and risk being raped; men should not come off as a charity foundation and then complain about being take advantage of.

Not everything women do is for the attention of men, you self-centered twit.

Women need to stop using their bodies to taunt men.

Again. Not everything women do is about men. I (and many other women, probably) do not use my body to taunt men, I dress like a ‘slut’ either 1)because I like to. I like the way it looks on me or 2) because it’s hot and sometimes I don’t want to be boiling under a bunch of layers when I have a crappy heat tolerance. Neither of those options involves giving a fuck about your worthless opinion. If men feel taunted by my existence, that’s their fault, and they can go back to the part in childhood where they get the less that the world does not revolve around them.

See, people who actually are fair and just people never say things like this. If you have to try to convince people that you’re a decent person, chances are it’s because they’re pretty sure you’re not.

Yeeesssss.

I haven’t heard of Paul or Tommy encouraging men to commit violent acts.

I officially call bullshit on Dan actually having read the article he’s commented on. It’s like…bwuh?

@Dan

The Pittsburgh, PA LA Fitness shooter( George Sodini) was not tied to any MRA online groups like a few wack jobs on Youtube claimed. The shooter had Aspergers syndrome just like the sick man boy who shot up an elementry school late last year.

The wack job who shot Asia McGowan back in 2009 was accused of being a member of Blackmenvent. He wasn’t. The guy was mentally ill, would not take his meds, and was obsessed with Asia. He did not track her down and stalk her. They went to the same school.

Citations desperatley needed, you ableist fuck. Not everyone who kills someone is mentally ill. FFS.

Dan
Dan
11 years ago

This site advocates for men who aren’t biological fathers to pay child support.

I never said false rape claim was a big problem. I said that it needs to be prosecuted just like other cases of providing false information to police officers.

This site advocates for women to get away with parternity fraud.

What this site advocates actully happens IRL.

The crazies on sites like a voice for men and reddit have never had one of their killing or raping spree fantasies come true.

The shit you people advocate happens and nothing is done about it

When a cray fuck kills women or rapes women, he is prosecuted.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

This site does none of that, you dishonest fucknut. Learn to read.

When a cray fuck kills women or rapes women, he is prosecuted.

Pull the other one, it has bells on it.

I see you’re an ableist fucknut as well. Bravo.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@dan

This site advocates for women to get away with parternity fraud.

Citation needed.

The crazies on sites like a voice for men and reddit have never had one of their killing or raping spree fantasies come true.

Whatthefuck. Stop calling everyone you don’t like ‘crazies’. FFS.

When a cray fuck kills women or rapes women, he is prosecuted.


………….

…………………..

O_o Really? ugh, anyone have a link to the some actual stats on this (couldn’t find mine 🙁 ) Because trollboy needs some actual citations. Not that he’ll pay them any mind.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Marie: I think that like so many of our trolls, Dan can’t read for comprehension.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@hellkell

Probably. Though I can’t tell if he’s taking it to a new level, or I’ve just been away too long. It’s like talking to a brick wall! 😛

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

How have you been?

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@hellkell

(I’m assuming you mean me? Sowwyz if I’m wrong)

I’ve been meh. My depression’s been flaring up for quite a while. But my meds got increased so that is good news.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

marie: I meant you. I’m glad you seem to be on the upswing. Or starting to, anyway.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@hellkell

Thanks :3 Hopefully it stays that way.