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Paul Elam of A Voice for Men: In His Own Words

Paul Elam on 20/20
Paul Elam in a web-only clip from the 20/20 segment that never ran on television.

Paul Elam, the founder and primary animating force behind the website A Voice for Men, is probably, for better or worse, the most influential figure in the Men’s Rights movement (or, as he prefers to call it, the Men’s Human Rights Movement).

Elam is also a fierce misogynist with a penchant for angry, violent rhetoric full of only-slightly veiled threats. But don’t take my word for it. Perhaps the best way to get to know Mr. Elam is through his own words.

So here are some of Elam’s thoughts on a variety of issues, taken from postings on his own website.  I have linked each quote back to its source on A Voice for Men.

Paul Elam on Domestic Violence

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess. …

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong. Every one should have the right to defend themselves. …

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Here, courtesy of the Wayback Machine, is the post as it originally appeared on A Voice for Men in 2010, where it was illustrated with a picture of a woman with a black eye, captioned “Maybe she DID have it coming.”

Elam now says this was “satire,” though its hard to see how it is “satire” when he clearly says that he doesn’t think his allegedly “satirical” solution is wrong. When Swift wrote his Modest Proposal he didn’t think that eating babies was actually a good thing; if so, it would not have been a satire.

Paul Elam on Rape

I have ideas about women who spend evenings in bars hustling men for drinks, playing on their sexual desires … And the women who drink and make out, doing everything short of sex with men all evening, and then go to his apartment at 2:00 a.m.. Sometimes both of these women end up being the “victims” of rape.

But are these women asking to get raped?

In the most severe and emphatic terms possible the answer is NO, THEY ARE NOT ASKING TO GET RAPED.

They are freaking begging for it.

Damn near demanding it.

And all the outraged PC demands to get huffy and point out how nothing justifies or excuses rape won’t change the fact that there are a lot of women who get pummeled and pumped because they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

Elam, apparently trying to project a more respectable image, has replaced the original A Voice for Men post containing these passages with a disingenuous disclaimer. But the Internet never forgets. An archived copy of the original post can be found through the Wayback Machine here. The quote is not any better in context.

Paul Elam on Why He Would Vote to Acquit All Rapists

Elam feels that courts are “patently untrustworthy when it comes to the offense of rape” and so, he explained in one post:

Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.

Original post here.

Paul Elam Explains How the Thought of Harming His Critics Sexually Arouses Him

No, I’m not making this up. Here are the strange, threatening remarks he addressed to an opponent of his Register-Her website (on which, more below).

Do you think I am going to stop?

It’s a serious question, because the answer to that question … should inform you of what will work for you or not work for you in dealing with me.

And the answer is, of course, no, I am not going to stop. You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.

Original post here.

Paul Elam on the Necessity of “Inflicting Pain” on Opponents

Progress for men will not be gained by debate, reason or typical channels of grievance available to segments of the population that the world actually gives a damn about. The progress we need will only be realized by inflicting enough pain on the agents of hate, in public view, that it literally shocks society out of its current coma.

You can see this quote in context here.

Paul Elam, the World’s Strangest “Pacifist”

From a post on family courts:

I am a pacifist. I do not advocate violence. But I tell you this. The day I see one of these absolutely incredulous excuses for a judge dragged out of his courtroom into the street, beaten mercilessly, doused with gasoline and set afire by a father who just won’t take another moment of injustice, I will be the first to put on the pages of this website that what happened was a minor tragedy that pales by far in comparison to the systematic brutality and thuggery inflicted daily on American fathers by those courts and their police henchmen.

It would not even so much be a tragedy as the chickens coming home to roost.

You can see the comment in context here.

Paul Elam on Mothers’ Day

To all you mothers of the world, please give your Mother’s Day flowers and give them all generously. Most importantly, give them where they will do the most good. Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.

Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death. …

Inspired? Good. Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics.

He continues on in this vein for some time before getting to this:

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

And he continues on for several more paragraphs of abuse, until this:

In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.

After several more paragraphs of this he makes clear that this time he’s not even claiming he’s writing satire:

Now, do I really mean all this? Yes.

You can read the whole remarkable thing here. He also wrote a similarly unhinged post about Valentines Day, which I wrote about here.

Now, Elam not only says many terrible things; he also does terrible things. Here are a few posts detailing some of these things.

Here’s a post about his website Register-Her, a fake “offenders registry” where feminist writers and activists are vilified alongside female murderers and child abusers, and threatened with the exposure of their personal information, in an attempt to silence them.

Here’s a post about A Voice for Men’s glorification of Thomas Ball, a disturbed man and self-admitted child abuser who set himself on fire on the steps of a courthouse in hopes that his death would inspire Men’s Rights activists to launch a campaign of firebombing attacks against courthouses and police stations.

Despite Elam’s claims of non-violence, A Voice for Men published Ball’s long terrorist manifesto — including his calls for firebombing — on its website, in its “activism” section. It was only after the Boston Marathon bombings that AVFM finally took the manifesto down.

Here’s a post about the time Paul Elam (along with a ragtag team of online misogynists and white supremacists) viciously attacked a young woman as an anti-male, anti-white bigot, resulting in threats directed at her and at her alma mater, Georgetown University. As it turned out, all the attacks on her, from Elam and other, were based on bogus information — as Elam would have known if he had taken ten minutes to fact check his sources.

These quotes, and these articles, are really only the tip of the iceberg. I invite anyone interested in finding out more about what Paul Elam believes to look through my archives at some of my other posts about him, and about A Voice for Men more generally.

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LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Nitram

LBT, ever read First Person Plural?

Sure, over a decade ago. Used to own it, until the sheer amount of trauma voyeurism in multi books turned me off. Also, I think there’s been some debate over whether the guy actually told the truth or fictionalized it. I can’t remember the details, it’s been a while.

Nitram
Nitram
11 years ago

LBT,

I read it over a decade ago too! At the time I thought it was an amazing story. I did find it weird the way he wrote about his wife. Had her on quite a pedestal, and then even wrote from her point of view when she was attracted to someone else. “Ricki felt the jolt of electricity when he touched her” or something like that.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Gah! I’d completely forgotten about that, but then, my memory of the book is pretty fuzzy. I just remember it as another ‘multiple goes through horrifying abuse, which they’ll happily tell you ever pulsing grisly detail of, goes theatrically mad, finds shrink who helps make everything better’ story. It’s mostly of note because as I recall, it’s one of the rare ones where the multi is AMAB and yet doesn’t try to axe-murder anyone or end up in jail for violent behavior.

katz
11 years ago

The Yellow Wallpaper is really excellent. I don’t know why every school doesn’t teach it.

kittehserf
11 years ago

I read The Yellow Wallpaper in a collection of ghost stories, of all things. My reaction to it was that there was nothing wrong with the narrator except her douchebag husband was trying to send her insane.

MordsithJ
11 years ago

There was a good BBC adaptation in the 90’s. Creepy as hell.

toujoursgai
11 years ago

I didn’t know The Yellow Wallpaper was about bed rest specifically – that’s interesting. I thought it was just a metaphor for how confined women were in general in that era.

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Have you been able to move your bowels today, Dan? You were VERY cranky before bed last night.

kittehserf
11 years ago

He’s been thrown in the Moderation Dunny, marinerachel, so hopefully he can concentrate on having a nice relaxing movement instead of straining his little self here.

Moma Sita
11 years ago

I love this pic of Elam. It shows his dark brooding serial killer eyes in all their glory. What a degenerate Elam is.

balarick
10 years ago

Reblogged this on balarick and commented:
This “man” is about the most vile excuse of “human” tissue I’ve ever come across on the interwebz. I can’t even listen to him speak for more than five minutes without feeling my IQ drop along with my stomach.

balarick
10 years ago

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

I love how every woman — everyone “with a vagina” — has the blood of “the abused” (aka, some cells growing in her body or victims of the occasional infanticide, which — by the way — is most common in the most highly patriarchal societies where having a daughter is socioeconomically disadvantageous to the family, but I’m sure pointing that out wouldn’t you anywhere with him), and yet every man (except, maybe, the “manginas” out there, like you and me) are pure, guiltless angels who should never, ever have to act with any consideration for the historical iniquity of society in favor of men and disfavoring women. I see this over and over and over and over again with MRAs and FMRAs: whenever the issue of social and historical context is brought up in regard to the mistreatment of women, that’s all just history and stuff that men today have no control over and so they (we) bear no responsibility in choosing actions that help repair those historical iniquities — and yet, when these man-boys are talking themselves and each other up (a certain monologue by Heartiste comes to mind here, discussed somewhere on this blog), suddenly every man (or at least, every “alpha,” which is a wolf-thing, not a thing for our closest relatives, the highly matriarchal and hyper-sexual [read: healthily sexual] Bonobos) is the inheritor of a vast legacy of strong, hardy men who built everything with their bare hands and maybe just a little bit of duct tape (the handyman’s secret weapon), and women should all be grateful for everything the men do and have ever done throughout time immemorial. Conversely, women have only leaches and seductresses to look back on in history (again, in the “minds” of these man-boys and the fangirls who love them), and thus they are responsible for every crime (and/or perceived crime) of every single woman who’s ever existed. Hmm… kinda reminds me of a story, and the implications that stem from it, involving a certain forbidden box that a woman wasn’t supposed to open, and in doing so, she cursed the world (even though it’s ultimately the male god that set up the situation in the first place, but he’s never to blame), or another story involving a forbidden fruit that woman decides to eat and share with man, thus being eternally responsible — along with all her descendants who share her anatomy — for the ailments of humanity and, especially, the ailments of men (even though it was the male god that set up the entire situation, but he’s never to blame), and so on and so forth throughout our patriarchal mythologies.

In short, men bear no responsibility for the bad things in history that echo into and shape today’s culture, and yet they are, by virtue of their anatomy, the inheritors of all that is good in history and, therefor, in today’s world; whereas women bear all responsibility for the bad things in history and are, by virtue of their anatomy, inherit nothing the supposed sins of their ancestresses.

This “man,” Paul Elam, truly nauseates me. I literally can’t listen to him speak or read what he’s written for more than a few minutes at a time without my stomach turning. You have a thicker skin than I, David, and I’m not sure if I should admire you for that, but I do very definitely appreciate you and the work that you do here.

magicunicorn
10 years ago

Elam’s article was a satire in response to an article by Jezebel condoning the beating of boyfriends and male intimate partners. Why has this fact been surpressed?

A lie can spread around the world before the truth can even get its boots on!

Here’s a link the article by Jezebel –

http://jezebel.com/294383/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have

And below are some excerpts.

“According to a study of relationships that engage in nonreciprocal violence, a whopping 70% are perpetrated by women. So basically that means that girls are beating up their BFs and husbands and the dudes aren’t fighting back. With Amy Winehouse busting open a can of whupass on her husband last week, we decided to conduct an informal survey of the Jezebels to see who’s gotten violent with their men. After reviewing the answers, let’s just say that it’d be wise to never ever fuck with us.

One Jezebel got into it with a dude while they were breaking up, while another Jez went nuts on her guy and began violently shoving him. One of your editors heard her boyfriend flirting on the phone with another girl, so she slapped the phone out of his hands and hit him in the face and neck… “partially open handed.” Another editor slapped a guy when “he told me he thought he had breast cancer.” (Okay, that one made us laugh really hard.) And lastly, one Jez punched a steady in the face and broke his glasses. He had discovered a sex story she was writing about another dude on her laptop, so he picked it up and threw it. And that’s when she socked him. He was, uh, totally asking for it.”

So according to Jezebel, it’s ok to beat up on a man.

THIS is what prompted Elan’s satirical response.

cloudiah
10 years ago

A lie can spread around the world before the truth can even get its boots on!

Well hello, Mr. Cliche! Try coming up with your own metaphors!

No one here thinks violence (in any case other than restrained self defense) is okay, no matter the gender.

The fact that Paul Elam clearly typed that with one hand while fantasizing about beating women is telling. He’s not talking about self defense. He’s talking about violent retribution. This is a pattern. Stop fantasizing about beating women, and maybe decent people will start taking you seriously. (This will involve publicly distancing yourself from Paul Elam, again, if you want to be taken seriously.)

cloudiah
10 years ago

p.s. It’s not “satire” when Paul Elam really does fantasize about beating and raping women, which his own words indicates is one of his preoccupations. Satire is writing something you don’t actually believe.

kittehserf
10 years ago

Boring necrotroll is boring.

pecunium
10 years ago

unicorny: Satire is a modest proposal. But the question of Elam’s actual intent is one best judged on the “whole person” model. What is the actual message of the entirety of his work?

He hates women. He thinks they “beg” to be raped by… wearing sexy clothes in public.

If they get raped, and he has any say in the matter, a guilty rapist will go free.

So the argument that this is a pointed send up of an article which was clearly jesting is laughable.

wewereemergencies
wewereemergencies
10 years ago

(of satire/parody/what-have-you)

magicunicorn
10 years ago

OK, all comments read, thanks for your feedback.

But did _any_ of you notice the part where Jezebel seriously suggested it’s ok for a woman to beat up her man?

Do any of you have an issue with that???

Repeating what you all seem to have missed:

Here’s a link the article by Jezebel –

http://jezebel.com/294383/have-you-ever-beat-up-a-boyfriend-cause-uh-we-have

And below are some excerpts.

“According to a study of relationships that engage in nonreciprocal violence, a whopping 70% are perpetrated by women. So basically that means that girls are beating up their BFs and husbands and the dudes aren’t fighting back. With Amy Winehouse busting open a can of whupass on her husband last week, we decided to conduct an informal survey of the Jezebels to see who’s gotten violent with their men. After reviewing the answers, let’s just say that it’d be wise to never ever fuck with us.

One Jezebel got into it with a dude while they were breaking up, while another Jez went nuts on her guy and began violently shoving him. One of your editors heard her boyfriend flirting on the phone with another girl, so she slapped the phone out of his hands and hit him in the face and neck… “partially open handed.” Another editor slapped a guy when “he told me he thought he had breast cancer.” (Okay, that one made us laugh really hard.) And lastly, one Jez punched a steady in the face and broke his glasses. He had discovered a sex story she was writing about another dude on her laptop, so he picked it up and threw it. And that’s when she socked him. He was, uh, totally asking for it.”

Is that ok with you lot? Or is it only a problem when a man beats up a woman?

kittehserf
10 years ago

Have you not even read all the comments where people have said, repeatedly, that they’re not okay with _any_ violence? How often does that have to be explained to you?

magicunicorn
10 years ago

In relation to the feedback I’ve received, I thank you. I do rather take exception to being called a boring nectoroll – particulary if said necotroll (me, I gather) – is boring; but oh well one can expect a bit of that when expressing a dissenting point of view. TBH I’m really not sure what a necotroll is, I must google it some time, or perhaps as some of you may suggest – look in the mirror!

As for coming up with my own metaphors, well if it ain’t broken, don’t fix it. Whoops – there I go again!

What really had the potential to hurt was the suggestion that I “Stop fantasizing about beating women”. Really? Where was the clue that I fantasized about beating women? You’re obviously smarter than me because I haven’t spotted it, and I suppose the fact that I don’t fantasize about those kind of things doesn’t help.

So what _was_ the clue? The fact that I pointed out that the people from Jezebel were openly boasting about beating their male partners. Is that it? Point that out and the only logical conclusion is that I must therefore fantasize about beating women?

Brilliant deduction, seriously.

However having said all that, I do appreciate your feedback, and will look into the links you’ve provided.

I do not believe in abuse of women or men by women or men; so if Paul Elam actually condones beating women, then I am not for him, I am against him.

I am also against the women from Jezebel openly boasting about and promoting violence by women against men.

magicunicorn
10 years ago

@kittehserf – just one more time should do it! 🙂

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Didya? Didya guys?

Lea
Lea
10 years ago

Jezabel is not the voice of feminism and if you had been paying any attention to this issue, you’d know that Jez get’s plenty of criticism from feminists.

It’s adorable how you are sure you know more about feminism than we do and need to ‘splain it to us for our enlightenment.

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