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Paul Elam of A Voice for Men: In His Own Words

Paul Elam on 20/20
Paul Elam in a web-only clip from the 20/20 segment that never ran on television.

Paul Elam, the founder and primary animating force behind the website A Voice for Men, is probably, for better or worse, the most influential figure in the Men’s Rights movement (or, as he prefers to call it, the Men’s Human Rights Movement).

Elam is also a fierce misogynist with a penchant for angry, violent rhetoric full of only-slightly veiled threats. But don’t take my word for it. Perhaps the best way to get to know Mr. Elam is through his own words.

So here are some of Elam’s thoughts on a variety of issues, taken from postings on his own website.Β  I have linked each quote back to its source on A Voice for Men.

Paul Elam on Domestic Violence

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess. …

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong. Every one should have the right to defend themselves. …

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Here, courtesy of the Wayback Machine, is the post as it originally appeared on A Voice for Men in 2010, where it was illustrated with a picture of a woman with a black eye, captioned β€œMaybe she DID have it coming.”

Elam now says this was β€œsatire,” though its hard to see how it is β€œsatire” when he clearly says that he doesn’t think his allegedly β€œsatirical” solution is wrong. When Swift wrote his Modest Proposal he didn’t think that eating babies was actually a good thing; if so, it would not have been a satire.

Paul Elam on Rape

I have ideas about women who spend evenings in bars hustling men for drinks, playing on their sexual desires … And the women who drink and make out, doing everything short of sex with men all evening, and then go to his apartment at 2:00 a.m.. Sometimes both of these women end up being the β€œvictims” of rape.

But are these women asking to get raped?

In the most severe and emphatic terms possible the answer is NO, THEY ARE NOT ASKING TO GET RAPED.

They are freaking begging for it.

Damn near demanding it.

And all the outraged PC demands to get huffy and point out how nothing justifies or excuses rape won’t change the fact that there are a lot of women who get pummeled and pumped because they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

Elam, apparently trying to project a more respectable image, has replaced the original A Voice for Men post containing these passages with a disingenuous disclaimer. But the Internet never forgets. An archived copy of the original post can be found through the Wayback Machine here. The quote is not any better in context.

Paul Elam on Why He Would Vote to Acquit All Rapists

Elam feels that courts are β€œpatently untrustworthy when it comes to the offense of rape” and so, he explained in one post:

Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.

Original post here.

Paul Elam Explains How the Thought of Harming His Critics Sexually Arouses Him

No, I’m not making this up. Here are the strange, threatening remarks he addressed to an opponent of his Register-Her website (on which, more below).

Do you think I am going to stop?

It’s a serious question, because the answer to that question … should inform you of what will work for you or not work for you in dealing with me.

And the answer is, of course, no, I am not going to stop. You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.

Original post here.

Paul Elam on the Necessity of β€œInflicting Pain” on Opponents

Progress for men will not be gained by debate, reason or typical channels of grievance available to segments of the population that the world actually gives a damn about. The progress we need will only be realized by inflicting enough pain on the agents of hate, in public view, that it literally shocks society out of its current coma.

You can see this quote in context here.

Paul Elam, the World’s Strangest β€œPacifist”

From a post on family courts:

I am a pacifist. I do not advocate violence. But I tell you this. The day I see one of these absolutely incredulous excuses for a judge dragged out of his courtroom into the street, beaten mercilessly, doused with gasoline and set afire by a father who just won’t take another moment of injustice, I will be the first to put on the pages of this website that what happened was a minor tragedy that pales by far in comparison to the systematic brutality and thuggery inflicted daily on American fathers by those courts and their police henchmen.

It would not even so much be a tragedy as the chickens coming home to roost.

You can see the comment in context here.

Paul Elam on Mothers’ Day

To all you mothers of the world, please give your Mother’s Day flowers and give them all generously. Most importantly, give them where they will do the most good. Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.

Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death. …

Inspired? Good. Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics.

He continues on in this vein for some time before getting to this:

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

And he continues on for several more paragraphs of abuse, until this:

In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.

After several more paragraphs of this he makes clear that this time he’s not even claiming he’s writing satire:

Now, do I really mean all this? Yes.

You can read the whole remarkable thing here. He also wrote a similarly unhinged post about Valentines Day, which I wrote about here.

Now, Elam not only says many terrible things; he also does terrible things. Here are a few posts detailing some of these things.

Here’s a post about his website Register-Her, a fake β€œoffenders registry” where feminist writers and activists are vilified alongside female murderers and child abusers, and threatened with the exposure of their personal information, in an attempt to silence them.

Here’s a post about A Voice for Men’s glorification of Thomas Ball, a disturbed man and self-admitted child abuser who set himself on fire on the steps of a courthouse in hopes that his death would inspire Men’s Rights activists to launch a campaign of firebombing attacks against courthouses and police stations.

Despite Elam’s claims of non-violence, A Voice for Men published Ball’s long terrorist manifesto — including his calls for firebombing — on its website, in its β€œactivism” section. It was only after the Boston Marathon bombings that AVFM finally took the manifesto down.

Here’s a post about the time Paul Elam (along with a ragtag team of online misogynists and white supremacists) viciously attacked a young woman as an anti-male, anti-white bigot, resulting in threats directed at her and at her alma mater, Georgetown University. As it turned out, all the attacks on her, from Elam and other, were based on bogus information — as Elam would have known if he had taken ten minutes to fact check his sources.

These quotes, and these articles, are really only the tip of the iceberg. I invite anyone interested in finding out more about what Paul Elam believes to look through my archives at some of my other posts about him, and about A Voice for Men more generally.

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Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

@opheliamonarch | October 20, 2013 at 12:39 am

Hey Scary Loot, Not sure I’m enough of a regular to welcome you, but nice to meet you πŸ™‚

Nice to meet you too, Opheliamonarch!

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

Oh, you crazy kids with your Keppra and your Prozac and your Imdur and your insert-random-drug-name-here.

Hi everyone.

So, just wondering, cause I’m at work right now….that whole “sitting in the guys lap and shoving booobs in his face” thing, well, when you have Code Blue, and you have to do CPR, you pretty much straddle the person and start pumping on their chest. And you’re getting prettty up close and personal and these scrubs are v-necked. So my question: does it still count as taunting a man with your body if the man in question doesn’t have a pulse?

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Marinerachel, Erm? Well it’s six In the morning here, and I haven’t been to bed yet, so technically no.
Hope that helped. πŸ™‚

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Scary loot, Ophelia’s fine. :).

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

@ sparky

That’s even worse. You’re exposing yourself only when he can’t appreciate it, just because you hate men that much.

Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

@marinerachel | October 20, 2013 at 12:40 am

I pooped today. How about you?

I did, but it wasn’t as solid as I’d like. 6/10 poop.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Sparky, now you’re getting into ‘The World According To Garp’ territory, and that’ll just start Dan on the shocking prevalence of female on male rape.

And then there’s the screaming, and the crying and the throwing of ALL the toys out the pram!

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Today was momentous for me as, at the behest of my love, I jumped on the psyllium bandwagon. He says he poops like a champ. “Super quick and super clean”, he described his bowel movements as. I hope to experience the same.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Oh, my gravatar seems to be changing. πŸ™

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@Scary Loot

That sounds like an unpleasant side effect! I wonder if your body can adjust? Also, sometimes increasing the dosage can help.

Well, luckily it doesn’t bother me that much. And it’s way preferable to being (more) depressed.

I used to take one (Navane, I think?) that would give me an OCD-like obsessive focus on repetitive patterns in wood, on sidewalks, in paint etc. Any surface with a pattern would hold me and looking away was difficult. That was probably the weirdest med-related experience I’ve had.

Huh. That does sound like a kinda strange side effect.

@opheliamonarch

Hello Marie, not sure if you remember me, but hope the meds work this time. πŸ™‚

I remember you. And thanks :3

@Dan

Most of you clowns are probably bipolar, have schizo-affective disorder, and borderline personality disorder. Go take your meds like good little mental patients.

Bored now. I mean, come on Dan, you even got one of those insults that normally bothers me (psych/ med patients)* but you can’t even pull it off right, possibly because of your massive pathethic-nes. All you manage is mild annoyance. Don’t you have something better to do.

*@non-dan people, most of the reason it bothers me is cuz my parents had me put in kiddy-asylum when I was younger, so the whole ‘lol med patient’ stuff irks me more than some of Dan’s other ableist crap. Not that one needs a reason for ableist language to bug them, but it’s just the extra icing on the shit cake. Idk I’m rambling now.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

CPR is misandry! I shall have to inform the doctors…..

πŸ™‚

Dan
Dan
11 years ago

Yep, I am starting to see a pattern. Mental illness is the main factor with this site.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Go fuck yourself Dan.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

I don’t think you’re rambling, Marie.

Dan is an asshole. Like most assholes, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. And he has no actual arguments, so he’s going for name-calling. He unfortunately doesn’t know anything about mental illness, either, or he wouldn’t be trying to use it as an insult. As if it was.

You were here when I first started posting. It is good to see you back. I hope the new dosages work out.

πŸ™‚

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

Then why are you still here, Dan?

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@sparky

Hi! πŸ˜€ and thanks :3 Sad to say I don’t remember you though πŸ™ sorry.

@Dan

Bored now. Care to actually respond to anything anyone’s said, or do you just want to keep declaring yourself ‘oh so logical and right (not to mention just and fair)’ and pretend you’ve won some argument?

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

That’s ok. I’m very new!

πŸ™‚

katz
11 years ago

most of the reason it bothers me is cuz my parents had me put in kiddy-asylum when I was younger

πŸ™

katz
11 years ago

I’m awfully amused by Dan’s if-at-first-you-don’t-succeed attitude towards insulting us. “If I call people insane enough times, sooner or later I’ll win the conversation!” Most of our trolls would have at least moved on to fat and ugly by this point.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

So far my emotional response to his insults is “meh”. He’s like a fly that’s stuck in the car – vaguely irritating if it won’t stop buzzing, but easy to ignore.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

The more oddly specific Dan’s ableist insults get, the more convinced I am that he is Pell. Not that it really matters which particular assface he happens to be.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@sparky

*whew* I just feel bad when I forget people…

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Far more interesting than Dan – you know how certain people recently (ahem) have showed up pissing and moaning about how hostile we are to outsiders and how haaarrrdddd it is to comment here? Sparky hasn’t been around long, and zie seems to have fit in right off the bat, because zie is not a whiny asshole.

opheliamonarch
11 years ago

Dan pisses people off wherever he goes:

https://audioboo.fm/boos/1241637-dan-you-wanker

kittehserf
11 years ago

Scary Loot, love the new avatar!

ophelia, I reckon you’re a regular. Lots of us take a bit of time off from the site sooner or later.

Viscaria – seconding that! The “Most of you clowns are probably bipolar, have schizo-affective disorder, and borderline personality disorder. Go take your meds like good little mental patients.” is very Pellish.

How’s Uncle Monty going, “Dan”?

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