Categories
a voice for men a woman is always to blame abortion advocacy of violence antifeminism domestic violence evil sexy ladies evil women harassment hate men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA not-quite-explicit threats not-quite-plausible deniability paul elam playing the victim rape rape culture taking pleasure in women's pain terrorism

Paul Elam of A Voice for Men: In His Own Words

Paul Elam on 20/20
Paul Elam in a web-only clip from the 20/20 segment that never ran on television.

Paul Elam, the founder and primary animating force behind the website A Voice for Men, is probably, for better or worse, the most influential figure in the Men’s Rights movement (or, as he prefers to call it, the Men’s Human Rights Movement).

Elam is also a fierce misogynist with a penchant for angry, violent rhetoric full of only-slightly veiled threats. But don’t take my word for it. Perhaps the best way to get to know Mr. Elam is through his own words.

So here are some of Elam’s thoughts on a variety of issues, taken from postings on his own website.  I have linked each quote back to its source on A Voice for Men.

Paul Elam on Domestic Violence

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess. …

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong. Every one should have the right to defend themselves. …

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Here, courtesy of the Wayback Machine, is the post as it originally appeared on A Voice for Men in 2010, where it was illustrated with a picture of a woman with a black eye, captioned “Maybe she DID have it coming.”

Elam now says this was “satire,” though its hard to see how it is “satire” when he clearly says that he doesn’t think his allegedly “satirical” solution is wrong. When Swift wrote his Modest Proposal he didn’t think that eating babies was actually a good thing; if so, it would not have been a satire.

Paul Elam on Rape

I have ideas about women who spend evenings in bars hustling men for drinks, playing on their sexual desires … And the women who drink and make out, doing everything short of sex with men all evening, and then go to his apartment at 2:00 a.m.. Sometimes both of these women end up being the “victims” of rape.

But are these women asking to get raped?

In the most severe and emphatic terms possible the answer is NO, THEY ARE NOT ASKING TO GET RAPED.

They are freaking begging for it.

Damn near demanding it.

And all the outraged PC demands to get huffy and point out how nothing justifies or excuses rape won’t change the fact that there are a lot of women who get pummeled and pumped because they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

Elam, apparently trying to project a more respectable image, has replaced the original A Voice for Men post containing these passages with a disingenuous disclaimer. But the Internet never forgets. An archived copy of the original post can be found through the Wayback Machine here. The quote is not any better in context.

Paul Elam on Why He Would Vote to Acquit All Rapists

Elam feels that courts are “patently untrustworthy when it comes to the offense of rape” and so, he explained in one post:

Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.

Original post here.

Paul Elam Explains How the Thought of Harming His Critics Sexually Arouses Him

No, I’m not making this up. Here are the strange, threatening remarks he addressed to an opponent of his Register-Her website (on which, more below).

Do you think I am going to stop?

It’s a serious question, because the answer to that question … should inform you of what will work for you or not work for you in dealing with me.

And the answer is, of course, no, I am not going to stop. You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.

Original post here.

Paul Elam on the Necessity of “Inflicting Pain” on Opponents

Progress for men will not be gained by debate, reason or typical channels of grievance available to segments of the population that the world actually gives a damn about. The progress we need will only be realized by inflicting enough pain on the agents of hate, in public view, that it literally shocks society out of its current coma.

You can see this quote in context here.

Paul Elam, the World’s Strangest “Pacifist”

From a post on family courts:

I am a pacifist. I do not advocate violence. But I tell you this. The day I see one of these absolutely incredulous excuses for a judge dragged out of his courtroom into the street, beaten mercilessly, doused with gasoline and set afire by a father who just won’t take another moment of injustice, I will be the first to put on the pages of this website that what happened was a minor tragedy that pales by far in comparison to the systematic brutality and thuggery inflicted daily on American fathers by those courts and their police henchmen.

It would not even so much be a tragedy as the chickens coming home to roost.

You can see the comment in context here.

Paul Elam on Mothers’ Day

To all you mothers of the world, please give your Mother’s Day flowers and give them all generously. Most importantly, give them where they will do the most good. Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.

Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death. …

Inspired? Good. Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics.

He continues on in this vein for some time before getting to this:

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

And he continues on for several more paragraphs of abuse, until this:

In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.

After several more paragraphs of this he makes clear that this time he’s not even claiming he’s writing satire:

Now, do I really mean all this? Yes.

You can read the whole remarkable thing here. He also wrote a similarly unhinged post about Valentines Day, which I wrote about here.

Now, Elam not only says many terrible things; he also does terrible things. Here are a few posts detailing some of these things.

Here’s a post about his website Register-Her, a fake “offenders registry” where feminist writers and activists are vilified alongside female murderers and child abusers, and threatened with the exposure of their personal information, in an attempt to silence them.

Here’s a post about A Voice for Men’s glorification of Thomas Ball, a disturbed man and self-admitted child abuser who set himself on fire on the steps of a courthouse in hopes that his death would inspire Men’s Rights activists to launch a campaign of firebombing attacks against courthouses and police stations.

Despite Elam’s claims of non-violence, A Voice for Men published Ball’s long terrorist manifesto — including his calls for firebombing — on its website, in its “activism” section. It was only after the Boston Marathon bombings that AVFM finally took the manifesto down.

Here’s a post about the time Paul Elam (along with a ragtag team of online misogynists and white supremacists) viciously attacked a young woman as an anti-male, anti-white bigot, resulting in threats directed at her and at her alma mater, Georgetown University. As it turned out, all the attacks on her, from Elam and other, were based on bogus information — as Elam would have known if he had taken ten minutes to fact check his sources.

These quotes, and these articles, are really only the tip of the iceberg. I invite anyone interested in finding out more about what Paul Elam believes to look through my archives at some of my other posts about him, and about A Voice for Men more generally.

578 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Speaking of Randroids, annoying co-worker is one. He still sits next to me, and I saw Objectivism Online on his screen the other day. It figures.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Gahhh!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Yeah not giving a shit if people get raped for doing things you disagree with is totally not remotely pro-rape. Not in the slightest.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

Meh. Too bored to comment on much of Dan’s shit but:

The point is that the majority of you posters are just as mentally ill as the fringe MRM posters.

We don’t think the mrm are mentally ill. Just that they’re hateful. Mentally ill people and neuratypical people both can be jerks, disagree with you, and/or offensively wrong.

cloudiah
11 years ago

I feel like the only sign of mental illness I’ve shown is eating a faux meat product for dinner, and it was surprisingly yummy. If this is “crazy,” I’ll take it. I also seriously prefer the company of the “crazy” (& very cool) folks here on Man Boobz to Danny Boy there.

Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

@hellkell | October 19, 2013 at 10:34 pm

Speaking of Randroids, annoying co-worker is one. He still sits next to me, and I saw Objectivism Online on his screen the other day. It figures.

I sometimes wonder how they square their ideal of total selfishness with the fact of working for a corporation. They put their work into maintaining something collective. But if you ask him, you might get a really tedious explanation.

mildlymagnificent
11 years ago

He also liked grapes – not to eat, just to roll around on like they were catnip.

We had one like that. He just seemed to think that grapes were his little friends.

Nitram
Nitram
11 years ago

Dan so far in this thread:

Has been arrested on suspicion of rape.

Thinks false accusers of rape should be prosecuted, yet falsely accused a police officer of rape.

Calls whole communities of commenters crazy and mentally ill

Calls anyone who signs adoption papers and legally takes on parental responsibility “retarded”

Took care of gfriend’s daughter, who called him “dad” and then washed his hands of her when relationship was over. Totally thinks that’s great. Keeps making it worse by providing more details in how he cared for her.

Claims no one he “cares about” gave a crap.

I’m wondering if Dan cares about anyone? Seriously, you are so far presenting as a terrible person.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Funny thing is, the only people who’ve ever called me mentally ill have been dirtbags who hate everyone not like them, and use mental illness as their go-to piece of abuse, especially when they see people who are happy being not-like-them.

Dannyboy fits perfectly into that category.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Scary Loot: not only will it be tedious, it will be stupid to the point of annoyance and will make me want to scream.

Nitram
Nitram
11 years ago

Uh oh. I said the “r” word when referring to one of Dan’s comments and I got stuck in moderation. Rhymes with cold hearted. Like Dan!

katz
11 years ago

I sometimes wonder how they square their ideal of total selfishness with the fact of working for a corporation. They put their work into maintaining something collective. But if you ask him, you might get a really tedious explanation.

Most likely he’d proudly explain that he was doing as little as possible and sucking the most resources he could out of the company and that makes him better than everyone else.

Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

@hellkell | October 19, 2013 at 10:53 pm

Scary Loot: not only will it be tedious, it will be stupid to the point of annoyance and will make me want to scream.

I hope you don’t mind me asking, is this co-worker annoying in ways that go beyond philosophy?

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

I show all sorts of signs of being mentally ill, but I also think children are people who deserve love and support, rather than things to discard when it’s convenient; so I’m pretty sure I’m a lot better of a person than Dan is.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Uh oh. I said the “r” word when referring to one of Dan’s comments and I got stuck in moderation. Rhymes with cold hearted. Like Dan!

Even knowing what the word was, “rhymes with cold-hearted” made me think “farted”.

Which also seems apt for Dan.

/twelve

katz
11 years ago

Viscaria: Fortunately nobody except Dan thinks that being mentally ill automatically makes you wrong.

kittehserf
11 years ago

If Dan’s an example of not being mentally ill, then it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Scary Loot: Yes, he’s annoying in just about every way you can think of. Philosophy is just the cherry on this shit sundae.

Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

@katz | October 19, 2013 at 10:56 pm

Most likely he’d proudly explain that he was doing as little as possible and sucking the most resources he could out of the company and that makes him better than everyone else.

Or some sort of equivalence of his personal interest with that of the corporation. Stupid either way.

Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

@hellkell | October 19, 2013 at 11:07 pm

Scary Loot: Yes, he’s annoying in just about every way you can think of. Philosophy is just the cherry on this shit sundae.

Sorry to hear it. I had a co-worker like that for years. I’m still kinda bitter about him actually.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

Viscaria: Fortunately nobody except Dan thinks that being mentally ill automatically makes you wrong.

And fortunately, nobody cares what he thinks because he’s maximum gross!

katz
11 years ago

For that matter, I’d bet he doesn’t even have strong opinion about mental illness, per se. He just wants a “win” button that means he can automatically discount anything you say.

Nitram
Nitram
11 years ago

I have a question about ableism that I would like to pose to the regulars here.
I usually don’t have any objections to political correctness, but Some of it confuses me. My close friend’s sister was diagnosed “mentally retarded” in the 70’s. my friend, whom I met in the 80’s, described her to me as “mentally retarded”. Nowadays, her whole family still refers to her as “mentally retarded”. When I told my husband about my friend’s sister who is “retarded” he looked at me sideways and said I shouldn’t describe her that way. now it’s supposed to be referred to as “developmentally delayed”. Has the phrase changed because insensitive pricks have hijacked the word and used it to fling “retard” “fuck-tard”, or avfm’s latest “rape-tard” as insults at people, Or is it just a DSM thing?

Also, I have black friends and I never know if saying “black” is now wrong. African American seems so wordy and goofy when I use it, and what would black people be called who are born in Britain?

I am asking sincerely, I hope I don’t come off as ignorant. Regulars here are a brilliant bunch. I figured if anyone can clear up my confusion about this, it would be you guys.

1 11 12 13 14 15 24