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Paul Elam of A Voice for Men: In His Own Words

Paul Elam on 20/20
Paul Elam in a web-only clip from the 20/20 segment that never ran on television.

Paul Elam, the founder and primary animating force behind the website A Voice for Men, is probably, for better or worse, the most influential figure in the Men’s Rights movement (or, as he prefers to call it, the Men’s Human Rights Movement).

Elam is also a fierce misogynist with a penchant for angry, violent rhetoric full of only-slightly veiled threats. But don’t take my word for it. Perhaps the best way to get to know Mr. Elam is through his own words.

So here are some of Elam’s thoughts on a variety of issues, taken from postings on his own website.  I have linked each quote back to its source on A Voice for Men.

Paul Elam on Domestic Violence

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess. …

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong. Every one should have the right to defend themselves. …

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Here, courtesy of the Wayback Machine, is the post as it originally appeared on A Voice for Men in 2010, where it was illustrated with a picture of a woman with a black eye, captioned “Maybe she DID have it coming.”

Elam now says this was “satire,” though its hard to see how it is “satire” when he clearly says that he doesn’t think his allegedly “satirical” solution is wrong. When Swift wrote his Modest Proposal he didn’t think that eating babies was actually a good thing; if so, it would not have been a satire.

Paul Elam on Rape

I have ideas about women who spend evenings in bars hustling men for drinks, playing on their sexual desires … And the women who drink and make out, doing everything short of sex with men all evening, and then go to his apartment at 2:00 a.m.. Sometimes both of these women end up being the “victims” of rape.

But are these women asking to get raped?

In the most severe and emphatic terms possible the answer is NO, THEY ARE NOT ASKING TO GET RAPED.

They are freaking begging for it.

Damn near demanding it.

And all the outraged PC demands to get huffy and point out how nothing justifies or excuses rape won’t change the fact that there are a lot of women who get pummeled and pumped because they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

Elam, apparently trying to project a more respectable image, has replaced the original A Voice for Men post containing these passages with a disingenuous disclaimer. But the Internet never forgets. An archived copy of the original post can be found through the Wayback Machine here. The quote is not any better in context.

Paul Elam on Why He Would Vote to Acquit All Rapists

Elam feels that courts are “patently untrustworthy when it comes to the offense of rape” and so, he explained in one post:

Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.

Original post here.

Paul Elam Explains How the Thought of Harming His Critics Sexually Arouses Him

No, I’m not making this up. Here are the strange, threatening remarks he addressed to an opponent of his Register-Her website (on which, more below).

Do you think I am going to stop?

It’s a serious question, because the answer to that question … should inform you of what will work for you or not work for you in dealing with me.

And the answer is, of course, no, I am not going to stop. You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.

Original post here.

Paul Elam on the Necessity of “Inflicting Pain” on Opponents

Progress for men will not be gained by debate, reason or typical channels of grievance available to segments of the population that the world actually gives a damn about. The progress we need will only be realized by inflicting enough pain on the agents of hate, in public view, that it literally shocks society out of its current coma.

You can see this quote in context here.

Paul Elam, the World’s Strangest “Pacifist”

From a post on family courts:

I am a pacifist. I do not advocate violence. But I tell you this. The day I see one of these absolutely incredulous excuses for a judge dragged out of his courtroom into the street, beaten mercilessly, doused with gasoline and set afire by a father who just won’t take another moment of injustice, I will be the first to put on the pages of this website that what happened was a minor tragedy that pales by far in comparison to the systematic brutality and thuggery inflicted daily on American fathers by those courts and their police henchmen.

It would not even so much be a tragedy as the chickens coming home to roost.

You can see the comment in context here.

Paul Elam on Mothers’ Day

To all you mothers of the world, please give your Mother’s Day flowers and give them all generously. Most importantly, give them where they will do the most good. Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.

Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death. …

Inspired? Good. Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics.

He continues on in this vein for some time before getting to this:

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

And he continues on for several more paragraphs of abuse, until this:

In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.

After several more paragraphs of this he makes clear that this time he’s not even claiming he’s writing satire:

Now, do I really mean all this? Yes.

You can read the whole remarkable thing here. He also wrote a similarly unhinged post about Valentines Day, which I wrote about here.

Now, Elam not only says many terrible things; he also does terrible things. Here are a few posts detailing some of these things.

Here’s a post about his website Register-Her, a fake “offenders registry” where feminist writers and activists are vilified alongside female murderers and child abusers, and threatened with the exposure of their personal information, in an attempt to silence them.

Here’s a post about A Voice for Men’s glorification of Thomas Ball, a disturbed man and self-admitted child abuser who set himself on fire on the steps of a courthouse in hopes that his death would inspire Men’s Rights activists to launch a campaign of firebombing attacks against courthouses and police stations.

Despite Elam’s claims of non-violence, A Voice for Men published Ball’s long terrorist manifesto — including his calls for firebombing — on its website, in its “activism” section. It was only after the Boston Marathon bombings that AVFM finally took the manifesto down.

Here’s a post about the time Paul Elam (along with a ragtag team of online misogynists and white supremacists) viciously attacked a young woman as an anti-male, anti-white bigot, resulting in threats directed at her and at her alma mater, Georgetown University. As it turned out, all the attacks on her, from Elam and other, were based on bogus information — as Elam would have known if he had taken ten minutes to fact check his sources.

These quotes, and these articles, are really only the tip of the iceberg. I invite anyone interested in finding out more about what Paul Elam believes to look through my archives at some of my other posts about him, and about A Voice for Men more generally.

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Woody
Woody
6 years ago

I agree that Solanas is not relevant these days, but I’m noting the difference between her and some of Paul’s harsher satire. They are different in kind.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Well then, since we’re damned sick of debating if SCUM was satire or not, let’s go back to the classic Modest Proposal. Now, if he said, regularly, that babies were delicious and you should eat them for fun, then it wouldn’t be satire. Just like Elam can’t write “satire” about hurting women when he writes far more about seriously wanting to hurt women. You can’t satire a thing you condone, doesn’t fucking matter if some people claim this fifty year old example runs counter to that, see above, where WWTH was kind enough to provide a definition of satire.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Once again Woody, it’s only satire if you don’t believe it. Elam is a misogynist. Unless you think the entirety of AVFM is satire, his pro violence against women writings aren’t satire. Maybe hyperbole. Not satire.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
6 years ago

Shorter Woody — “Yes, the thing I’m talking about isn’t relevant, but I’ll just keep talking about it anyway”

LBT (with writeathon poll!)

RE: Woody

This post, of course, does not mention that virtually all of these quotes were explicitly designated as satire by Paul.

Woody, you wouldn’t know satire if it pooped rainbows onto your head.

RE: Cassandrakitty

apparently it’s OK to make other men hate their bodies if it serves the cause.

Which is especially horrifying since, uh. They’re the ones insisting circumcision is horrific. So by their own fucking logic, they’d be blaming the victim. I would never want to be circumcised myself, but I’m not going to act like my husband is mutilated when he doesn’t see himself that way at all! I’m certainly not going to try and hammer it home in the grossest way possible! (Who was that troll we had not long ago who tried to pull that on Howard Bannister?)

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I’m just not seeing how the “lol your body is broken and terrible and gross” stuff is supposed to help the cause.

LBT (with writeathon poll!)

I don’t think they care about their cause so much as they care about being RIGHT.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

I’m also not seeing how telling someone whose sex life is going just find that it’s actually going terribly and they’re not enjoying themselves at all is supposed to work, but that one seems to be a common tactic among pissed off dudes of multiple stripes (PUAs and so on).

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

It just seems odd to argue for bodily autonomy and then undermine the point by making invasive and creepy remarks about another person’s genitals. Being for bodily autonomy means respecting how other people feel about their own bodies.

LBT (with writeathon poll!)

I imagine they just expect people like my husband to go, “My god, you’re right! I’M A MUTILATED MISERABLE FREAK!” and then promptly join the cause.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

But the problem is, once it’s gone it’s gone. Having some sort of “my God you’re right, my penis doesn’t work at all (even though I thought it was working fine 5 minutes ago” revelation isn’t going to make your foreskin regenerate, so what good does it do the person who you’re trying to persuade that they should feel mutilated?

LBT (with writeathon poll!)

Wellllll… there are those tugger guys.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

That half peeled banana skin graphic is unfortunate, as is the fact that the name mostly suggests wanking.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Yeah, that Lawrence character’s all over the thread (the original is in Pandagon). He’s also, surprise surprise, of the opinion that male circumcision is infinitely worse than removal of the clitoris, because most of the clitoris is internal! There’s the RationalMale(TM) for you.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

There’s no reason for circumcised men to be made to feel awful in order to curb circumcision. If they’re happy with what they got that’s awesome. Most of them will still understand it’s unnecessary and a violation to do it to anyone else non-consensually.

I lurv foreskins. I’m not down with non-therapeutic circumcision without consent. I’m still happy to have sex with lots of guys without hoods. If they’re able to have a good time, me too. Healthy, functional genitals are wonderful.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

He’s also, surprise surprise, of the opinion that male circumcision is infinitely worse than removal of the clitoris, because most of the clitoris is internal!

See, what this tells us is that his knowledge of clitori is entirely theoretical and he’s never successfully, um, operated one.

marinerachel
marinerachel
6 years ago

To be honest, I’ve mistaken extra skin on the shaft of the penis resulting from tugging for a short foreskin before. Even happy circumcised bros who wank lots and have a firm grip will end up with a bit of a hood unintentionally. They’re not all trying to restore their foreskins. Last dude had enough to cover and stimulate the glans with just like a dude with a foreskin and masturbated the same way. No frenulum though and when flaccid it bunched up instead of covering the glans.

kittehserf
6 years ago

See, what this tells us is that his knowledge of clitori is entirely theoretical and he’s never successfully, um, operated one.

I suspect so. He described his own circumcision – it sounds like it was horribly botched – but sympathy for him goes out the window the way he’s trolling that thread and essentially saying MGM is the worst thing in the history of ever.

I daresay he’d write off obstetric fistula if anyone mentioned it.

He is, however, giving ample evidence for Amanda Marcotte’s suggestion that intactivists are the weirdest people on the internet.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Today in “Intactivists can be horrid people” — blame Elliot Rodger’s killing spree on his assumed lack of foreskin — http://www.foreskin-restoration.net/forum/showthread.php?t=18220

Which I share with you all because I DON’T EVEN…

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

No foreskin or not was so far down on the list of that entitled fuckbag’s problems it’s barely visible. Those guys in that forum are gonna sprain something reaching like that.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

So, um, was this something Rodger talked about, or are they just assuming? And do they think women ignored him because they just magically knew?

LBT (with writeathon poll!)

…what does Elliot Rodger’s dick have to do with ANY OF THIS?

D8

kittehserf
6 years ago

Dafuq?

Anonymouslazycat
Anonymouslazycat
6 years ago

…wut

At least there are a few people on that thread saying how ridiculous it is. Not many, but a few.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Holy shit, there’s some OTT ranting about circumcision on that thread. It’s amazing any circumcised man managed to have any sex life at all, let alone a fulfilling one, the way these guys are talking.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
6 years ago

As always, when I think I’ve seen all the stupidity that the world has to offer, the Internet steps in and proves me wrong.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Well, it is an anti-circ forum, so yeah. But seriously, the trauma of having his foreskin removed implanted in his limbic system inadequacy that spawned wtf he did?

I could translate NWO and that hurts my head!

LBT (with writeathon poll!)

*snorts, eyerolls* I lost half my hearing due to medical malpractice in my teens. Last I checked, ain’t nobody should be awarding me a medal for NOT KILLING PEOPLE due to it.

And last I checked, I needed that ear more than the average dude required his foreskin.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Even the thread on Pharyngula has gone from talking about weird intactivists to talking about male circumcision itself. Like someone there noted, it really is all about penises, all the time.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
6 years ago

A friend of mine had to repair a (horribly designed) website from the other side, an extreme EVERYONE MUST GET CIRCUMCISED ASAP inactivist. He got so exasperated with all the bullshit statistics and non-sequiturs that he muttered something awful about the guy in front of the guy’s young son. He then found himself having to give the kid most of his lunch to stop the kid from crying.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Lesson #1? Never take on web design projects without being POSITIVE you can tolerate the client.

#2 if it isn’t your penis, you don’t have a say in what happens to it (ok, except if you’re a doctor/similar and the owner of said penis consents/emergency standards are met) — I didn’t know there WAS a “you must be cut” movement, but both sides need to grasp that simple concept. You care about bodily autonomy? Excellent! This also means if they aren’t your genitals, you don’t get to say they need “fixed”.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Maybe I’m weird, but I’m just not that interested in what other people do with their genitalia unless I’m going to fuck them or they’re insisting in getting them all up in my face. If I’m never going to see said genitalia they can decorate it with sparkly bows/draw smiley faces on it for all I care.

Kim
Kim
6 years ago

Anecdota time: I dated a guy who was circumcised in his late teens due to medical reasons. He said that, other than having to change his masturbation, it felt exactly the same. He also thought it would have been better to have been circumcised as a baby, because getting an erection when you have stitches in your penis – not so much fun.

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
6 years ago

@ Argenti – Technically he didn’t have to do the job at all. This guy was a big wheel at the hospital where he does tech support. My friend was just in one of those horrible situations where explaining to some idiot why something isn’t your job is going to be a lot more difficult than just doing what they want.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

My ex’s brother was also circumcised in his mid teens because his foreskin didn’t grow enough to accommodate his penis, and from what was relayed to me secondhand it was indeed a pretty unpleasant experience.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Sorry, got tired and needed a nap after posting that link. None of the intactivists seem at all concerned about getting themselves to a doctor, to see what can be medically done or checking if – in fact – there is a bloody problem.

Are you fatigued all the time? Do people push their way in front of you in queues? Are you suffering from premature baldness? Do you type in all caps on the internet? Do you wish cat videos would stop being uploaded? That’s because you were circumsized as a small child.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

I do feel sorry for guys that need the operation later in life, as it sounds much worse to get it done then. That said, the majority of men will never need it done, so from a cost-benefit perspective, the decision would be not to do it.

Why does god need male Jewish babies circumsized? Does he need to use his x-ray vision* to check occasionally? And how does he know about the females then? Why can’t he just use the method he uses for the females, on the males?

* I may be getting confused with superman here.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Are you fatigued all the time? Do people push their way in front of you in queues? Are you suffering from premature baldness? Do you type in all caps on the internet? Do you wish cat videos would stop being uploaded? That’s because you were circumsized as a small child.

LOL!

I see that Lawrence Newman finally got himself booted from Pandagon. Not surprising. When he wasn’t declaring that men who’ve been circumcised don’t orgasm and only have a little ejaculate, he was fantasising about murdering doctors, saying “real legal definition” rape is rare, then going off about how boys being circumcised are being raped.

What a charming fellow.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

When he wasn’t declaring that men who’ve been circumcised don’t orgasm and only have a little ejaculate

Possible TMI, but I can confirm that both of these are incorrect.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Wouldn’t that argument mean that circumsized males couldn’t father children apart from using medical procedure methods? I would ask how come someone can be so wrong in the face of so much disconfirming evidence, but MRAs, PUAs, etc shows me the pointlessness of asking.

kittehserf
6 years ago

pallygirl – I think it was less about God needing to see ’em than identification among other people.

Which is still weird, I don’t quite see the Jewish blokes walking around with their bits hanging out (unless they lived in Egypt, where going nekkid wasn’t unusual among farmers or labourers … but circumcision was a thing there anyway … )

LBT (with writeathon poll!)

RE: Kim

getting an erection when you have stitches in your penis – not so much fun.

*shriiiiiieeeeeeek, crosses legs*

RE: cassandrakitty

Possible TMI, but I can confirm that both of these are incorrect.

Yeah, ditto.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Well, orgasm without ejaculation is possible if you study enough tantra, but I’m not sure if it can work the other way round. Which isn’t relevant anyway because, again with the TMI, men who’re circumcised can usually come just fine.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Possible TMI, but I can confirm that both of these are incorrect.

::snerk:: there was far more TMI refuting him, from men and women alike, on Pandagon. Plus several chaps who were relieved they’d been nerfed, ‘cos they didn’t want to go hurting their partners with Superman-levels of ejaculate. It got quite funny around that stage. 😛

His response was that all of them were lying.

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

He probably thinks that he’d be able to write his name on the opposite wall of the gym in spunk if only he hadn’t been circumcised.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Yeah, ejaculation without orgasm exists, but like you said, it’s not relevant to the circumcision question.

kittehserf
6 years ago

He probably thinks that he’d be able to write his name on the opposite wall of the gym in spunk if only he hadn’t been circumcised.

XD

Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
Sir Bodsworth Rugglesby III
6 years ago

He probably thinks that he’d be able to write his name on the opposite wall of the gym in spunk if only he hadn’t been circumcised.

*Looks down at bowl of yogurt I was eating. Looks back at screen. Looks down at yogurt. Rubs eyes.*

cassandrakitty
cassandrakitty
6 years ago

Sorry about that.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

Every time I see Woody’s name I am reminded of this bloody ad that played on NZ tv. Now you too can share in my pain: