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Paul Elam of A Voice for Men: In His Own Words

Paul Elam on 20/20
Paul Elam in a web-only clip from the 20/20 segment that never ran on television.

Paul Elam, the founder and primary animating force behind the website A Voice for Men, is probably, for better or worse, the most influential figure in the Men’s Rights movement (or, as he prefers to call it, the Men’s Human Rights Movement).

Elam is also a fierce misogynist with a penchant for angry, violent rhetoric full of only-slightly veiled threats. But don’t take my word for it. Perhaps the best way to get to know Mr. Elam is through his own words.

So here are some of Elam’s thoughts on a variety of issues, taken from postings on his own website.  I have linked each quote back to its source on A Voice for Men.

Paul Elam on Domestic Violence

In the name of equality and fairness, I am proclaiming October to be Bash a Violent Bitch Month.

I’d like to make it the objective for the remainder of this month, and all the Octobers that follow, for men who are being attacked and physically abused by women – to beat the living shit out of them. I don’t mean subdue them, or deliver an open handed pop on the face to get them to settle down. I mean literally to grab them by the hair and smack their face against the wall till the smugness of beating on someone because you know they won’t fight back drains from their nose with a few million red corpuscles.

And then make them clean up the mess. …

Now, am I serious about this?

No. Not because it’s wrong. It’s not wrong. Every one should have the right to defend themselves. …

But it isn’t worth the time behind bars or the abuse of anger management training that men must endure if they are uppity enough to defend themselves from female attackers.

Here, courtesy of the Wayback Machine, is the post as it originally appeared on A Voice for Men in 2010, where it was illustrated with a picture of a woman with a black eye, captioned “Maybe she DID have it coming.”

Elam now says this was “satire,” though its hard to see how it is “satire” when he clearly says that he doesn’t think his allegedly “satirical” solution is wrong. When Swift wrote his Modest Proposal he didn’t think that eating babies was actually a good thing; if so, it would not have been a satire.

Paul Elam on Rape

I have ideas about women who spend evenings in bars hustling men for drinks, playing on their sexual desires … And the women who drink and make out, doing everything short of sex with men all evening, and then go to his apartment at 2:00 a.m.. Sometimes both of these women end up being the “victims” of rape.

But are these women asking to get raped?

In the most severe and emphatic terms possible the answer is NO, THEY ARE NOT ASKING TO GET RAPED.

They are freaking begging for it.

Damn near demanding it.

And all the outraged PC demands to get huffy and point out how nothing justifies or excuses rape won’t change the fact that there are a lot of women who get pummeled and pumped because they are stupid (and often arrogant) enough to walk though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

Elam, apparently trying to project a more respectable image, has replaced the original A Voice for Men post containing these passages with a disingenuous disclaimer. But the Internet never forgets. An archived copy of the original post can be found through the Wayback Machine here. The quote is not any better in context.

Paul Elam on Why He Would Vote to Acquit All Rapists

Elam feels that courts are “patently untrustworthy when it comes to the offense of rape” and so, he explained in one post:

Should I be called to sit on a jury for a rape trial, I vow publicly to vote not guilty, even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true.

Original post here.

Paul Elam Explains How the Thought of Harming His Critics Sexually Arouses Him

No, I’m not making this up. Here are the strange, threatening remarks he addressed to an opponent of his Register-Her website (on which, more below).

Do you think I am going to stop?

It’s a serious question, because the answer to that question … should inform you of what will work for you or not work for you in dealing with me.

And the answer is, of course, no, I am not going to stop. You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection.

Original post here.

Paul Elam on the Necessity of “Inflicting Pain” on Opponents

Progress for men will not be gained by debate, reason or typical channels of grievance available to segments of the population that the world actually gives a damn about. The progress we need will only be realized by inflicting enough pain on the agents of hate, in public view, that it literally shocks society out of its current coma.

You can see this quote in context here.

Paul Elam, the World’s Strangest “Pacifist”

From a post on family courts:

I am a pacifist. I do not advocate violence. But I tell you this. The day I see one of these absolutely incredulous excuses for a judge dragged out of his courtroom into the street, beaten mercilessly, doused with gasoline and set afire by a father who just won’t take another moment of injustice, I will be the first to put on the pages of this website that what happened was a minor tragedy that pales by far in comparison to the systematic brutality and thuggery inflicted daily on American fathers by those courts and their police henchmen.

It would not even so much be a tragedy as the chickens coming home to roost.

You can see the comment in context here.

Paul Elam on Mothers’ Day

To all you mothers of the world, please give your Mother’s Day flowers and give them all generously. Most importantly, give them where they will do the most good. Place a bunch of daffodils at a dumpster near you, perhaps one in which one of you, or one of your kind, has tossed an unwanted baby, leaving it there to slowly die alone in a pile of trash.

Perhaps you could lay a single rose at the base of a bridge that has been used by a mother to throw her baby into an icy river. Perhaps you can lay it there with hands that have beaten or shaken a baby to death. …

Inspired? Good. Now perhaps some of you could place large, colorful arrangements at the abortion centers where women go to have children cut out and laid to rest in those colorful and attractive biohazard containers that are all the rage in the clinics.

He continues on in this vein for some time before getting to this:

This is not a request for some mothers, or a percentage of them, but all of you. In fact, you don’t even have to be a mother. If you have a vagina, the blood of all those children, who are abused far more at the hands of women than men, has stained your skin and caked around the cuticles of your fingers.

And he continues on for several more paragraphs of abuse, until this:

In Daffodils for Dumpsters the gash gets you in, and you don’t really have a choice.

After several more paragraphs of this he makes clear that this time he’s not even claiming he’s writing satire:

Now, do I really mean all this? Yes.

You can read the whole remarkable thing here. He also wrote a similarly unhinged post about Valentines Day, which I wrote about here.

Now, Elam not only says many terrible things; he also does terrible things. Here are a few posts detailing some of these things.

Here’s a post about his website Register-Her, a fake “offenders registry” where feminist writers and activists are vilified alongside female murderers and child abusers, and threatened with the exposure of their personal information, in an attempt to silence them.

Here’s a post about A Voice for Men’s glorification of Thomas Ball, a disturbed man and self-admitted child abuser who set himself on fire on the steps of a courthouse in hopes that his death would inspire Men’s Rights activists to launch a campaign of firebombing attacks against courthouses and police stations.

Despite Elam’s claims of non-violence, A Voice for Men published Ball’s long terrorist manifesto — including his calls for firebombing — on its website, in its “activism” section. It was only after the Boston Marathon bombings that AVFM finally took the manifesto down.

Here’s a post about the time Paul Elam (along with a ragtag team of online misogynists and white supremacists) viciously attacked a young woman as an anti-male, anti-white bigot, resulting in threats directed at her and at her alma mater, Georgetown University. As it turned out, all the attacks on her, from Elam and other, were based on bogus information — as Elam would have known if he had taken ten minutes to fact check his sources.

These quotes, and these articles, are really only the tip of the iceberg. I invite anyone interested in finding out more about what Paul Elam believes to look through my archives at some of my other posts about him, and about A Voice for Men more generally.

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mildlymagnificent
11 years ago

It’s a filthy day outside – going for 30C and with northerlies blasting away. Blah, I hate summer, especially when it arrives early.

It’s already over 30 in Adelaide, bit less here in the southern suburbs. I’ve never wanted to live in Sydney, and now I’m even more grateful I never went there. I’ve realised that mountains might look pretty, but when they burn there’s a lot more scope for the smoke to spread around the city.

And it’s only October. Don’t want to even think about February.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Kittehs: they also ignore our suggestions to kick in on the rent. Bastards!

Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

@Argenti Aertheri | October 19, 2013 at 9:35 pm

Scary Loot — yep, my cories went and gave me eggs finally! Btw, you get a welcome package yet?

I don’t believe so unless I have missed a welcome package?

kittehserf
11 years ago

mildlymagnificent – same here, I’d never want to live further north than I do. Hell, Hobart gets freezing cold in winter and it’s not exactly immune to bushfires. Even without that element, Sydney’s so damn humid – ugh. I’m dreading this summer. I’m scared it’s going to be like Black Saturday.

hellkell – freeloaders, the lot of ’em. No rent, no bills, no nothin’.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Well then! One Welcome Package for Scary Loot!

And while we’re doing proper introductions, just Argenti is fine, and I use gender neutral pronouns — ze/zir (and am usually up for well meaning questions, about anything really)

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

I got ninja’ed 🙁

cloudiah
11 years ago

Oh, and dinner was Gardein’s Stuffed Turk’y. Two vegetarian friends are coming to our Thanksgiving dinner, and while they said we shouldn’t do anything special for them, I had heard good things about the Gardein faux turkey and wanted to do a taste test. Verdict: pretty damn good, actually.

serrana
serrana
11 years ago

Argenti, I’m in Texas, but thanks!

Actually, I think I have the healthy bacteria thing covered. I have a healthy 75 gallon and I used 8 gallons of water from it to start the 40. The filters from both tanks take the same inserts, so I’m going to take one of the used ones from the 75 gallon tomorrow. They’re whisper filters that take 2 biobags each, so each will have one new and one used one tomorrow after I get more.

A few years ago when we got new floors, I had to break down both tanks completely and I did it without losing a single fish. I’m pretty proud of that. I have never heard of breaking in a new tank without fish, though. That sounds interesting!

Hellkell, your cats eat potato wedges? I have one that’s loooves any kind of dry cereal, so I can see potatoes.

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Driving a kid to school isn’t something to brag about when it was entirely conditional and, soon as you dumped the mother, the kid no longer got to school. It’s not like you were doing it for the kid’s sake.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Assuming Dannyboy’s girlfriend and her child exist outside “cool story, bro” land, of course.

Funny how anyone who thinks differently from Dan has a mental illness. Caring about people not related to you? Caring about the welfare of children, in particular? Not seeing “women existing” as “women taunting men with their bodies”? Not raping people? All mental illnesses. Who knew?

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Serrana — oh, yeah if you’re doing that and danios they should be fine. Might have to do the constant water change thing for a few days, but meh, it happens!

I’ve moved with fish so very many times, but always had a cultured filter, so I’m gonna guess yours will cover most, if not all, of the initial bioload. Whisper filters…ah before I switched to sand…blew out like three before I said fuck it and bought a fluval. That was at least 4 years ago, and it’s currently attached to the 55g and running like a dream! Well worth the money.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

serrana: he does. We had an incident a couple weeks ago with him stealing one from Mr. HK, kicking off a chase out of Benny Hill, and then the aftermath of cat death farts. He’s the only one we have who gives the remotest fuck about people food. We knew he liked steak and chicken, but not potatoes.

I had one cat growing who went bonkers for Bavarian cream donuts. Not so much the filling, but the bread part, and only that kind of donut.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

^growing up.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The weirdest thing I ever saw my first cat eat was biryani – it would have made sense if he’d been picking out the meat, but no, he was eating the rice.

He also liked grapes – not to eat, just to roll around on like they were catnip.

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

How did my doctor not diagnose me? Why did it take an internet superstar driving-kids-to-school-till-he-dumps-their-moms just and fair human rights advocate and oh-so-humble gentleman to inform me I’m mentally ill? I…. I think he’s Jesus.

katz
11 years ago

Dan really, honestly thinks that the only reason anyone might disapprove of him is a mental illness. Don’t think he should have abandoned the kid who depended on him? Abandonment issues! Unimpressed that he cussed out the police? Stockholm-like perverse attachment to authority figures! Angry that he kicked a puppy? Freudian confusion of human and animal!

kittehserf
11 years ago

I used to have to eat Sultana Bran with my elbow stuck out to stop Katie helping herself. Putting her off the table did no good, she’d bounce straight up again, and have that little kitty head shoved into my bowl.

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Did I mention how horny pop psychology gets me?

kittehserf
11 years ago

Dan, the living embodiment of “physician, heal thyself”!

kittehserf
11 years ago

Careful, marinerachel, you’ll be taunting men with your body next!

Scary Loot (@AaronMDellutri)

Thanks for the Welcome Packages, cloudiah and Argenti! I will work on a kitteh avatar.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

When the UPS guy came to the door the other day the shirt I was wearing was rather cleavage-y. Was I taunting him, and would he have been entitled to rape me?

marinerachel
marinerachel
11 years ago

Via my words. That’s how treacherous women are; they taunt men with their bodies WITHOUT THEIR BODIES BEING VISIBLE! BURQAS ARE NOT ENOUGH TO CONTAIN THE TAUNTING WOMEN DO!

kittehserf
11 years ago

Depends. Did you throw yourself on his lap while shoving your cleavage in his face? There’s levels and levels of taunting.

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