Today, a little Evo Psych Pop Quiz for you all!
5 of the following 6 statements are actual quotes from a 2007 article in the open access peer-reviewed journal Evolutionary Psychology. Can you spot the quote that isn’t from the article?
- “The section on intra-vaginal anti-cuckoldry tactics focuses on sperm competition, providing fascinating descriptions of the semen-displacement hypothesis (Gallup Jr. and Burch) and the psychobiology of semen (Burch and Gallup Jr.).”
- “[I]ntra-vaginal battles demand men to become aroused to situations that are actually unpleasant for them, for instance the suspicion of their partner’s infidelity.”
- “This section also includes discussions of the interesting notions that … women should not be motivated to have sex with their main partner right after an extra-pair copulation because of the possibility of sperm displacement (the penis appears to be shaped to do just that), [and] that a man may manipulate a woman’s mood via semen content (Rice, 1996, has experimentally shown something similar in fruit flies) … .”
- “One of the mating strategies examined as an early prevention method is violence against women within partnered relationships.”
- “Despite this scrutiny, a man can still gain from deliberately ejaculating in front of his partner from time to time. Choosing each occasion carefully so as to display a good ejaculation can be a powerful way to advertise his continuing good health.”
- “Affirmative feedback did not increase men’s likelihood to allocate resources to self-morphed images, but men were significantly less likely to allocate resources to self morphed images when told the morphed image did not resemble them … . “
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Answer: Number 5 is the ringer! But, lacking confidence in my own ability to come up with something as convincingly batty as the quotes from the real article, I cheated a little here, borrowing this quote from a real Evo Psych book — Sperm Wars, by Robin Baker, a popular title from a major publisher recommended on countless Pickup Artist and “Red Pill” reading lists. It’s a truly bizarre and often quite disturbing read. (If you have a bit of Google-fu you should be able to locate a pdf of it online with no trouble.)
And speaking of pdfs, if you want tp read the article in Evo Psych I got most of these quotes from, a book review by Kelly D. Suschinsky and Martin L. Lalumière titled The View From the Cuckold, you can find a pdf of it here. See, I really didn’t just make it up!
I think my brain just melted and poured out of my ears reading that shit. That’s MRA level stupid.
From the article CassandraSays linked:
Oh, no way! I call foul! That’s a “Just-So” story if ever I heard one!
Of course that sharticle has Kanazawa’s grody little fingerprints all over it.
“Men sexually harass women because they are not sexist”
Wat.
Yeah I remember that one, I got to Muslim suicide bombers just not getting laid and I just fucking can’t. It’s MRA excusing Sodini et al, that maybe if the sluts would stop being sluts and sleep with nice men like them…
Argh!
You know why I posted it, right? There are evo-psych talking points in every single section of that article.
CassandraSays – My brain sublimbed. Oh gods.
Wow. That is an incredibly terrible article. My favorite bit:
“We don’t have any idea how your sperm know if you’re rich or not, but trust me, they do!”
Ever rich man in history has had hundreds of children. We know this because…well, it just makes sense, doesn’t it? No need to check.
Money or other forms of wealth came along and influenced natural selection?
Who knew?
Cassandra – I must tell Sir that. He’ll be surprised.
Shall we play “How many of these points involve bad things men do either not being bad or actually being women’s fault?”
I’m still stuck on the idea that blonde hair evolved because women wore too many clothes. Shouldn’t everyone in Afghanistan be blonde by now, then? Or at least getting steadily blonder?
And poor people obviously have small families! It would just be silly if they didn’t, right?
I’m 45 years old, and still as (naturally) blond as I was in my 20s. I think the connection between blondness and youth has been overstated.
I dunno about you, but I’ve never met someone who was naturally blond at age 20 and brunette a decade later. (In fact it would make more sense for blondness to be disadvantageous, since it makes it harder to see when you go gray.)
What I have observed is a lot of people who were blond as tiny children and whose hair has darkened as they grew up. I was blond when I was two and completely brunette by 5 or 6.
Which…says really, really frightening things about the author.
Well, my hair darkened, but when I was like 5, so yeah, not exactly relevant (unless gross)
Pecunium, I dug out pictures, she’s full of it. That ain’t blonde, that’s strawberry blonde. Thus settling if I got that gene! 🙂
What Katz said. Except strawberry blonde and it settled into a brown such that I dye it with a light brunette with red and it fades without roots (well, besides the “I am not 30 yet, grey hair can fuck off” roots)
Well, notice that the ideal age has been shifted down to 15 for the purposes of the article, so I’m sure at this rate we’ll reach 3 or so as the ideal sooner or later.
You’re in good company, m’lud had to start dyeing the grey roots by that age.
Yep, that explains why all those royal & aristoctratic English dynesties died out because of the lack of a male heir. No, wait a minute …
Yep, nothing to do with relative levels of sunshine. Nothing at all. No way.
It’s defintely because all northern European men were short-sighted paeophiles who wanted to fuck girls but could only assess a woman’s age by the colour of her hair. /sarcasm
And while we’re back on “we hunted the mammoth” again, anyone else see the study that has shown that the cave paintings (which have been widely touted as having been painted by hunters because of their accuracy) were painted by women? So actually, we women hunted the mammoth for those idle men. *watches MRAs’ brains explode*
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/10/131008-women-handprints-oldest-neolithic-cave-art/
DOES NOT COMPUTE
But on that blond hair thing, I had basically white hair as a kid, then (fairly early) it just turned brown (evidence of this: the picture in the sidebar). Though it was lighter then. My sister had blond hair at least through her twenties, but it got progressively darker and now it’s brown.
Also she hunts mammoths.