So over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, a fella named dzogen came by to vent about his unfair divorce.
Seems his “freeloader and loser” of an ex-wife — a former drug addict — sits around the house eating bon bons while happily collecting $2500 a month in child support for the five year old kid they had together. Also, she treats him with disrespect. “Meanwhile,” the poor fella wrote, for an added dose of pathos, “I have to survive on PB&J.”
*cough*shitthatneverhappened*cough*
Dzogen ended his post with a wish, and a bit of advice for the rest of the guys reading his tale of woe:
I can only hope karma will get her in the end as I have no options to address the fact that legally men have to bend over and take it by their ex’s, legally sanctioned by anti-success, anti-male laws.
My moral of story: Don’t ever get married. It’s a bad deal for men.
Naturally, the helpful fellas of the Men’s Rights subreddit stepped in with some suggestions for how poor Dzogen could improve his sad life. Naturally, there were those who suggested that he (and the other men who shared their own stories of divorce gone wrong) flee the country “and leave her worthless ass high and dry.”(Just load up the comments there and do a find on the page for the word “leave” to find many more.)
But there were others with more, erm, direct suggestions. Like Justin here:
Huh. A dozen upvotes for a literal call for murder.
And then there was this exchange, in which a comment advocating murder received not one but two dozen upvotes, and those who criticized it got downvotes:
![cleetdog101 24 points 14 hours ago (41|17) Whats her drug of choice? If its coke, smack or crank, you could always look to spike her fix. Not that difficult - Next thing you know - you have the kid and an extra $2,500 a month. permalink source parent save give gold hide child comments [–]Redundantgaming 0 points 3 hours ago (1|1) No half measures. Only full measures. permalink source save parent give gold [–]fuckingidiotjunky -2 points 12 hours ago (6|8) I can't believe this is upvoted permalink source save parent give gold [–]thegreatbeyond50 4 points 11 hours ago (9|5) There's not alot of things that would drive me to want to murder someone. Completely destroying my life would be one of them. permalink source save parent give gold [–]Mythandros -3 points 10 hours ago (9|12) That's pretty dark, dude. Resorting to murder? Even implied as a joke, that's just in bad taste. Are you sure you belong here? Because I'm not sure that you do. Please leave, I don't want people like you, who encourage the most deplorable of acts posting on a board that is supposed to be about positive change and support to those who need it. You taint /r/mensrights by being here. permalink source save parent give gold [–]lIllIlIIlIlI 5 points 10 hours ago (11|6) Who died and made you king of morality?](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/mrdeletedmurder.png?resize=532%2C513&ssl=1)
This particular exchange has since been deleted by Reddit admins or the subreddit’s mods.
But numerous other calls for murder remain up as of this writing, including Justin’s comment above, and this one from Kappies10:
This one from Pecanpig:
This one from the cheerily named HoneyPuffBear:
This delicately worded suggestion from eloquentlnemesis:
Oh, and this one from Skyrimnewb, although it isn’t literally a call for murder:
The Men’s Rights subreddit: A place good men in trouble men with fake stories can turn to for help suggestions to kill the bitch.
Thanks to the good folks of the Against Men’s Rights subreddit for pointing me to this thread and most of the terrible quotes here.
Here is an article I found on cat manipulation techniques:
http://www.catster.com/lifestyle/5-ways-my-cats-manipulate-me-cat-behavior-humor#comments
In the comments there is even a misandrist kitty:
“The biggest manipulator of the group is my beautiful gray, Gracie. However, she saves her manipulations for the boys only. We have all found this fascinating because she has been doing this since she was an 8 week old kitten. She will flirt with the boys, until they do what she wants (feed her, watch her eat, open a door for her, pet her….) She does not do this with my daughter and I. But if my daughter and I are sitting on my bed talking, she will sit right between us, purring up a storm. It feels like she is saying, “girls are for hanging out with and boys are for serving her every need”
A very British porn! First a nice young man brings tea, then his hostess offers him biscuits, and then they talk about the weather and cricket. And then sex, after everyone has been properly introduced.
Scones and more tea for afters.
…Suddenly I know what I want to draw next.
neuroticbeagle, that page is So. True. My kitties know all those methods.
(You wanna try living with ten of ’em who can turn it on. Not even kings have a chance with that many.)
@sarahlizhousespouse I wish I could shop where you’re shopping. All that existed in this city I just moved to was a locally owned grocery chain because the owner was able to drive other chains out and cut them off due to his ties with suppliers. So, being basically a monopoly (the few competitors included a whole foods, a walmart, and some tiny chain that was way out of the way to get to, all spread out across a decently large city, whereas there are at least six locations of this chain in town) they were able to price things unreasonably high. I was going broke really fast trying to afford eating well. Their greens were always going bad before I even got them out of the store. I can’t imagine getting what you’re talking about even close to that cheap.
Recently another chain moved into one location and it was just as overpriced. But we FINALLY got a Trader Joe’s where I can buy a 7 oz bag of greens for $2. The day is saved! I’m still not sure I could go there and get six meals worth of food for $3, but at least I can stay on budget.
Oh, and the market here is overpriced in general which is something I didn’t anticipate. When I was going to purchase a couch which I had tested and priced ($800) in the local Ashley Furniture back home, I was shocked when the salesperson quoted me $1,300 ON SALE 30% OFF! I was like, “Uh, what? That can’t be the right couch. Here is costs $800.” Upon realizing I wouldn’t be buying it for that price, the salesperson was able to get authorization to sell it to me for $800. So that chain was just doubling the price of all the other locations because they could. That’s what I’m finding at grocery stores too. Certain items which aren’t exactly rare being up to double the price of what I’d spend at home. It’s really frustrating.
Hello, there, Dzogen.
Sorry that your marriage ended unhappily. However, posting insulting comments about your ex on Reddit – never a good look. Imagine how your child is going to feel about what you’ve written about their mother. And about the comments that followed. Which you have not renounced, where they occur. So maybe it’s not us you should be telling that:
Also, comparing having financial matters not go as you would wish to being raped? Seriously? Crap thing to do.
So not exactly living on PB&J, then? Just having to keep an eye on the food budget? Like the rest of we mere mortals.
idgi, is he only making 2600$ and giving all but 100$ to his wife? Or is he making much more than that per month and giving 2500$ to his wife? Or did the court somehow make child support a heck of a lot more than usual just for him as a special case?
::Confused::
Also, I like hard water ;^.^ I grew up on it and I think soft water tastes gross.
Also also, bit of schadenfreude there? Given that child support money is used for his kids, wouldn’t he be happy to pay for their living costs? I mean, they’re his kids.
Sidenote: Would that financial abortion thingy be allowed by MRAs after the child has been born do you think? Do you think they’d be totes cool with signing those papers right after the baby is born and why wouldn’t that turn into a slippery slope where you could do it at all times of life? Could women do it after the baby’s born or is that something reserved exclusively for men? What about non-het couples, how does that work? The reductio ad absurdum argument for this really works well in showing how absurd it really is as a concept…
P.S.: I read that article in freethought (can’t remember if it was in this thread it was linked or one of the other ones). It was great! I would have pointed out a few more things but still, pretty awesomesauce.
Given 8 (unpaid) weeks off that’s like 104,000$… Say a mortgage eats up about 20,000, taxes are 30% (ish, no actual idea) (31,200), expenses like a car/insurance are a grand or two a month (12,000-24,000)… that’s still like 28,800-40,800$/year for other expenses… or 2400-3400/mo… And I’m being very generous in cost of living expenses there… seriously, no sympathy.
Alternatively, the courts are making him pay a lot more in child support than 20%, which would make him a special case for some unknown reason and he should fire his lawyer, and figure out why the judge is being especially hard on him in particular…
Either way, I’m having a hard time seeing why this is his kids and/or ex-wife’s fault…
Sittiekittie: if you’re making that kind of money, chances are good that your vacation time is paid.
$13,000 a month?! I was comfy in Pittsburgh on that annually. I wasn’t gonna comment since the above discussion about living expenses, but DAMN.
Granted, I don’t drive, and utilities where included in rent, but that a month? I’d feel rich.
<blockquote.Alternatively, the courts are making him pay a lot more in child support than 20%, which would make him a special case for some unknown reason and he should fire his lawyer, and figure out why the judge is being especially hard on him in particular…
Prenuptial agreement? Temporary arrangement because mom didn’t work while they were married and needs time to get on her feet financially? Kid has special needs? Kid is going to a fancy private school and the parents agreed to keep sending them there, but dad is the one with the money, so he pays the tuition?
Or, yeah, he got a traditionalist judge who thinks mom should raise the kids and dad should pay for them, and said judge handed down an unfair arrangement. And maybe mom argued for that much money despite not needing it, because she’s selfish or vindictive or just wants her kid to be well cared for. It’s not proof of systemic misandry, and it doesn’t justify the calls to drug or murder her.
Whoops, first paragraph was a quote from Sittiekitty.
O Blockquote Monster, accept my offering:
Okay, so there was a drive-by by a “Susan Botchie”. I didn’t recognize the name, and the post was nigh-incomprehensible. So, daring fate, I followed the link in her nick. This led to a blog, which consisted of a post from September saying her old blog was at another link. Which I followed, because the yellow brick road beckoned me towards the rabbit hole.
Susan Botchie is apparently a Christian of the “traditional gender roles” school. As such, she’s equally dismissive of both MRAs and their ilk, and of feminism in all its forms–indeed, she seems to equate both groups and hold them in equal derision. (This is typical of the conservative Christian mindset–it’s also how they posit that Islam, atheism and the gay rights movement are somehow ‘allies’. It’s the ‘hydra’ theory of evil, in which everyone who isn’t their brand of Christian is, in fact, just a different head of the Beast.)
With that context, her post makes a bit more sen–no. No, it doesn’t. It is, however, easier to translate into something comprehensible. Essentially, she’s espousing the view that the only thing a man needs is a good wife, and he shouldn’t be focused on her looks when choosing ‘wifely’ traits. She seems to think that this forum will allow her admonishment to reach the MRAs from the OP, despite the fact that only a handful of that group actually seem to come here on a regular basis.
Yeah, that post is still incomprehensible to me, despite your best efforts freemage. Thanks for trying though.
Prenup I could maybe see? But I’m still pretty sure that prenups are beneficial to the person who is protecting their already substantial assets, and doesn’t specify amounts so much as percentages, and are void upon hitting a particular poverty threshold (I’m speculating and have no knowledge of how prenups are arranged so take that with a grain of salt).
Arrangement to help get mom on her feet would, I suspect, be something that’s needed to be mutually agreed upon. And so far he doesn’t seem exactly charitable toward his ex.
Special needs, I could see, but that’s specific circumstances that has nothing to do with the wife, lover, or judge and everything to do with the kid.
Paying for private school would be a choice – which again, as you pointed out, would need to be agreed upon by both parents.
Traditionalist judge – much more likely out of the options, still should fire his lawyer and/or appeal. Appeals go to a different judge don’t they? Likely he’d get a better/more reasonable sentence if he brought a motion.
Mom being selfish/vindictive/wanting good care for their child – also a possibility, still not misandry as you pointed out. And definitely not justification for violence.
Misunderstanding/misrepresentation of the justice system and divorce proceedings – most likely suspect in my mind. But I’m misandric and biased toward a maternalistic structure, clearly.
Or else “cool story, bro” like so many MRA claims of being done over by ebil wimmin and the system that totes supports them.
“Appeals go to a different judge don’t they?”
At least in the US they go to a whole new court as they move their way up the food chain, so to speak. Now, the appeals court does have to agree to hear the case, which requires more than “I disagree because I don’t like it” (“I disagree because [potentially valid reason]” would work)
Where’s the drive-by though? I can’t seem to find it. (Of course, I’m a bit distracted by the sod under my nails from tearing up the yard for my Halloween’ing [yes it’s a fucking verb with me])
kittehs, yeah, pretty much that, and that’s what I’d be saying most of the time… I just dislike illogical things so it hurts my brain to ignore it some days.
Argenti,
Susan botchie here.
Dzogen showing up.
Off-topic, but can anyone make sense of the cartoon in the latest post here? (It’s NSFW, and very very creepy.)
http://www.antifeministtech.info/
Presumably it’s the 14-year-old in the window, and she’s mocking the older woman. But who is the older woman yelling at?
SittieKitty — Duty calls?