Matt Forney is desperate for attention; it’s as glaringly obvious as the giant MATT FORNEY that adorns the top of his blog, creatively named MATT FORNEY. And like some caricature of an emo teen “acting out,” the misogynistic manosphere blogger has decided that any attention — even bad attention — is better than no attention.
And so, perhaps at least dimly aware that his ideas are and his prose are both too lackluster to command much attention on their own, he seems to be trying to rile up as much of the internet as possible with posts that are deliberately designed to offend liberals and feminists and pretty much anyone who is not a woman-hating douchebag. He had a minor hit a this spring with a post entitled Why Fat Girls Don’t Deserve to Be Loved, which did in fact live up — that is, down — to its title.
Now he’s got an even bigger hit in a post titled The Case Against Female Self-Esteem.
Originally posted in mid-September — people have been sending me notes for weeks asking when I would be writing about it — the post has blown up in recent days, inspiring countless angry Tumblr posts and Tweets from feminists pissed off at its, er, argument. It’s even inspired some threats of violence from Feminists, which Forney seems to regard with glee, reposting them on Twitter alongside boasts about how much traffic his post has generated thus far — last count, 90,0000 views.
So what is there to say about the post itself? It’s already been ably dissected, line by line, by Stephanie Zvan at Almost Diamonds. Some of its more absurd assertions — 60, to be exact — have been highlighted in this post by Clara on That Girl Magazine. There’s nothing original about most of Forney’s argument; it’s merely a collection of misogynistic manosphere tropes arranged into an “argument” against female self-esteem that Forney clearly intends as a provocation.
But ironically this paean to female insecurity offers interesting insights into Forney’s own insecurities about women, and more broadly into the insecurities that seem to drive so much of the manosphere’s misogynistic rage. That makes it worth examining in some detail.
Forney starts out with the sort of confession that most men would save for their therapists, announcing his love of insecure women, and declaring:
Whenever a girl I’m talking to brags about how she’s “confident” and “strong,” I can feel my dick deflating like a punctured tire.
Yep, he said it: confident women render him impotent.
“I’d still bang her, of course,” he quickly adds, somewhat unconvincingly. With what? While there are plenty of ways to have amazing sex that don’t involve an erect penis at all, somehow I don’t think Forney is much interested in that kind of thing.
Eventually Forney gets to the thesis of his piece:
In order for America to right itself, there needs to be a massive and concerted war on female self-esteem.
He rehashes tiresome antifeminist arguments suggesting that women are pumped up from birth by too much praise, and grow up into stuck-up princesses who won’t give the Matt Forneys of the world the time of day.
Sorry, that last bit is just subtext. He doesn’t actually say that out loud.
Then he goes on to rehash more tired manosphere arguments about how women are worthless nothings compared to hard-working manly men.
Most girls have done nothing to deserve self-esteem.
In the world of men, respect—and by extension self-esteem—is based on actually achieving something of worth or having some kind of skill or talent.
Says a man whose only real accomplishment in life has been offending people on the internet.
Most girls’ so-called achievements, the ones they take pride in, are complete jokes. Wow, you have a master’s degree in puppetry?
Huh. Not sure where that’s offered. Meanwhile, Forney is involved in studying a far more serious subject: how to con women into bed using the science of “game” developed by eminent scientists on the internet with names like Heartiste and Badger Hut and The Captain Power.
Then it’s on to the similarly tired notion that women don’t work “real” jobs:
The vast majority of girls work useless fluff jobs … If every girl was fired from her job tomorrow, elementary schools would have to shut down for a couple days, but otherwise life would go on as usual.
If every man lost his job tomorrow, the country would collapse.
Yeah, I’m sure the world would tremble if Matt Forney stopped writing his blog posts.
Forney returns to the topic of insecurity, and the embarrassing personal revelations begin to flow once again:
[T]he girls I’ve loved the most were the ones who were the most insecure, the most emotionally vulnerable.
Somehow I don’t find this hard to believe.
So what group of men is sort of famous for being attracted to vulnerable women?
(Hint: It starts with “abus” and ends with “ers.”)
Forney tries to justify his own skeeziness with some good old-fashioned misogynistic nonsense — complete with societal collapse and a side order of rape.
Insecurity is the natural state of woman. How could it be anything else? Given their lack of physical strength, a woman on her own should be frightened as hell without men to protect her. If society were to collapse, all the Strong, Independent Women™ who read Jezebel and xoJane would last about five minutes before they either found a man to cling onto or got raped and killed.
Now, I don’t actually believe, as Susan Brownmiller once famously wrote, that rape is “a conscious process of intimidation by which all men keep all women in a state of fear.”
But “arguments” like Forney’s above certainly give one pause. Essentially he’s saying the same thing as Brownmiller — except that he thinks this is good for men, good for women (and perhaps most importantly) good for his boner.
And, yeah, he actually spells that last bit out as explicitly as he can:
Confidence doesn’t give men erections; vulnerability does.
After saying that the fear caused by the threat of rape is good for women, Forney has the gall to suggest that feminism is causing mental illness among young women. Of course, like many backwards-thinking wannabe social critics, Forney thinks that psychiatric drugs — which can be quite effective in alleviating these illnesses — are just as bad as the illnesses themselves, because they remove the insecurities that make “girls” so sexy:
Ordinarily a depressed or insecure girl would seek solace in the loving embrace of a man, but daily hits from her good friend Saint Xanax short-circuit her feminine instincts.
Forney even throws a bit of evo psych paleobabble into the mix:
In squelching her inborn insecurity with you-go-grrlisms and drugs, the modern woman has become an emotional cripple. Like a fat slob eating Big Macs instead of a juicy steak from the supermarket, she substitutes having a dominant and confident man in her life with lotsa cocka and dating where she considers herself an “equal.”
The horror!
She views men as a life support system for a penis, an accoutrement, no different than her Manolo Blahniks or snazzy new iPhone. When she gets bored of her boy-toy, she tosses him in the trash and moves on to a newer, shinier model, and if she can get cash and prizes for trading in her old clunker, that’s just the icing on the cake.
Essentially, “confident” women are incapable of viewing men as human beings.
Gender-swap this little tirade (minus the MRA-lite bit about “cash and prizes,” code words for child support and alimony) and you have a capsule description of pretty much every “game”-obsessed dude in the manosphere
When manboobs and feminists say you should be happy that women today are “independent,” this is what they’re arguing for; a world in which romantic relationships are impossible.
Uh, most “manboobs and feminists” I know are actually in romantic relationships. Some of them with more than one partner.
Where men are nothing more than fashion items to help women show how cool or sophisticated they are. Sorry, but homie don’t play that game.
Sorry, homie, but I don’t think anyone is inviting you to that particular game. I’m trying to imagine a world in which the seething, petulant, hateful, overgrown emo kid that is Matt Forney is considered a “fashion item” to anyone, and my brain is seizing up.
And we’re on to more self-revelations:
So-called confident women are as threatening as a pile of dog turds. Sure, you can scrape them off your boots when you get home, but it’s better to not step in dog shit to begin with.
And more convoluted justifications. Now Forney wants to convince us that women don’t even really want self-esteem in the first place. No, they’d rather be spanked.
[I]n their bones, girls know that their toxic, feminist you-go-grrl ideology is a lie. …
They want nothing more than for a man to throw them over his knee, shatter the Berlin Wall around their hearts, and expose the lovestruck, bashful little girl within.
Now, there are plenty of women (and plenty of non-women) who like a bit of spanking now and again as part of a consensually kinky sex life. Unfortunately, I don’t think that’s what Forney is talking about here. He seems to be suggesting that women want to be physically abused.
Game, at least as it was conceived by the seduction community, was all about this. All the hysterical nitwits blubbering about how “negging” and the like was designed to hurt girls’ self-esteem were precisely right, but that’s the thing; women are crying out for a man who will wound their self-esteem.
So I guess in Forneyland women love verbal abuse too.
“Confident” women are still women, and they still lust after men who dominate them, even if they can’t admit it to themselves. Because their self-esteem has been artificially boosted by society, today’s girls need extra-concentrated doses of dominance—i.e. game—in order to feel womanly, like a junkie chasing the dragon.
So women want to be treated badly, “even if they can’t admit it to themselves.” So if they say “no,” or “stop,” or “why are you doing this to me,” I presume Forney thinks that’s just their false consciousness speaking?
This is how abusers think.
And then Forney moves on to another favorite MRA trope: the idea that feminists fight rape because it secretly turns them on.
Girls will all but die without masculine attention. Hell, I’m even starting to think that the feminist agita about “rape culture” is part of this as well. Pushing lies like the claim that one in three women will be raped during her lifetime and their constantly expanding the definition of rape are ways for feminists to indulge their desire for vulnerability in a way that doesn’t conflict with their view of themselves as “strong” and “empowered.”
Forney winds up the post with a concentrated dose of abuser-think:
At the end of the day, there are no Strong, Independent Women™. There are only shrews pleading for a taming.
That’s how abusers think.
All the posturing, the pill-popping, the whining and demands for “equality”; they’re a cry for help.
That’s how abusers think.
Girls don’t want the six-figure cubicle job, the shiny Brooklyn 2BR, the master’s degree, the sexual liberation, none of it. They want to be collectively led back to the kitchen, told to make a nice big tuna sandwich with extra mayo and lettuce, then swatted on the ass as we walk out the door.
That’s how abusers think.
I say we give them what they want.
That’s how abusers think.
And that’s how Matt Forney thinks — though how he thinks he’s going to be able to support a non-empowered, kitchen-dwelling woman off of his paltry e-book sales I have no idea.
So what have we learned here?
Matt Forney, who literally admits that his penis wilts when he’s faced with a confident woman, needs insecure women to bolster his ego and his erection. And if he can’t find them, he wants to make them, to undercut the confidence of women with insults and fearmongering, “warnings” of rape and threats of violence and verbal abuse.
And that’s the real problem. Forney may write posts like this for attention. But he seems to believe this bullshit sincerely. And so do many of his readers. And that’s why his posts are worth paying attention to, even thought that’s exactly what he wants us to do. Because he reveals a lot more about himself than he thinks in his writings. And the better we understand these guys, the better we can fight them.
That was well worth the wait; I appreciated the tip of the hat to Zvan, too.
Weird… I do know a girl with a masters degree in childhood education that does involve puppetry.
Yeah, that’s true, kinda sorta. And if every woman lost her job tomorrow, the economy would collapse, too. Forney is a complete dope.
Even if you limit his “if every woman was fired from her job tomorrow” to traditionally female jobs (you know, feminized professions that were even acceptable in those holy and perfect says of the 1950s) where you’d end up is pretty dire.
Let’s look at the Mad Men list:
– Nurses
– Primary school teachers
– Librarians
– Secretaries
– Caregivers
– Homemakers
Looks like more than a couple days of closed elementary schools. We’re talking about people with specific fields of knowledge and experience who can’t be replaced at the drop of a hat. Of course this is a wildly and intentionally limited list based on a limited timeframe that we’re well past.
Oh and
– “Seamstress”
The University of Connecticut offers a master’s degree in puppetry: http://www.businessnewsdaily.com/4299-strange-college-majors.html
Personally I see no reason not to be impressed by someone who has mastered the art of puppetry. Puppetry is cool.
I would put this shit down to an attempt to get hits on his blog – I’m almost embarrassed by how quickly people come running when some fool writes this crap – except for the giveaway about the worthlessness of Masters in Puppetry. Ooh, there’s a Freudian slip and a half. Does he think girls study how to manipulate? That they become really masterful at it? Is that what he’s actually afraid of?
Actually that isn’t the link I meant to drop here. It’s this one: http://www.drama.uconn.edu/?page_id=276
Sometimes I wonder if all of these dimwits need their hormone levels checked… or erectile disfunction medication. I’m not even trying to be funny.
I’ve never heard any who speak like this. And I once got into a yelling, screaming match with an artist whose video I was shooting: 1) on the set, 2) in front of all his “folks”. It ended with me loudly proclaiming that I was the director and that I had handled the production and if he had a problem with me being in charge, then I’d shut the whole thing down.
And he and I still had sex that very night?
Who are these men who can’t get it up unless a woman is either chained to a stove or constantly on the edge of some sort of breakdown?
That’s a lot of typos. My apologies; you get the drift.
The puppetry thing was pretty funny. It reminded me of Portlandia:
“People would grow up wanting to be a clown, they went to *clown school*!”
“I gave up clowning a long time ago…”
“In Portland, you don’t HAVE to!”
Generally people choose partners with a similar level of self-esteem. Forney has low self-esteem, hence his attraction to a woman with a low opinion of herself.
As for Xanax, it’s not handed out like candy. Benzos have a high risk of dependency and the withdrawal is an ugly thing to watch. So, Forney can go fuck himself with his stupid ideas about depression and psy meds.
I would spit in his sandwich.
“Insecurity is the natural state of woman. How could it be anything else? Given their lack of physical strength, a woman on her own should be frightened as hell without men to protect her.”
Interesting.
Aren’t these the same guys who completely lose their shit when women talk about being cautious when meeting men or hanging out with men they don’t know well because doing so suggests those women think all men are rapists and OMG MISANDRY!!?
Is Xanex even presecribed for depression all that much? I know depression and anxiety disorders are all deeply intertwined, but that seems an odd choice of a drug to mention when talking about depression and insecurity.
No lie, every time I read some crap about how women need men to protect them and if there was an apocalypse all women would join a harem or get raped or whatever, I have a deep and abiding desire for someone to say that to my face so I could beat the everliving shit out of them. It just makes me SO MAD.
As an aside, it’s well established between my husband and I that, in the event of physical threats from other humans, I’m the one who’s going to deal with it, due to my being more physically abled, more aggressive, and more experienced at fighting. Somehow, though, I have no desire to chain him barefoot in the kitchen.
(Hoping blockquote works this time.)
Shit that never happened. Because people who are confident and strong don’t have to say they’re confident and strong. They just are and it’s self evident. When people feel the need to tell you they are [insert positive characteristic here], they generally aren’t. Like guys who say “I’m a nice guy” or bigots who say “I’m not racist but…”
My guess is that Forney has never even spoken to a strong and confident woman. He knows his schtick doesn’t work on them.
As far as I know, Xanax is old-school when it comes to psych drugs and is rarely prescribed for depression/anxiety these days, largely due to dependency issues and side effects. I could be wrong, but that’s what I seem to remember from Abnormal Psych.
“Girls will all but die without masculine attention.” And yet, lesbians seem be doing just fine.
So he’s sad cause he can’t get an erection because women are too confidant? Cry me a river, dude.
And while you’re at it, come do my job for awhile and tell me how it’s a “useless fluff job.”
And if anyone out there is hiring, contrary to Mr. Rotten Tripe’s opinion, I would love a “six-figure cubicle job.”
I’m almost impressed with this; it’s a veritable tour-de-force of bullshit. A person has to work really, really hard to be this stupid.
This was a particularly awesome post. I knew there was a reason I read this blog. XD
Also awesome? Puppets. Particularly large papier-mâché puppets used for political protests. No Master’s needed. I’ve helped make a pig, a Mr. Peanut, and an oversized woman who took three people to operate.
Xanax. Alprazolam. I had look that one up. It’s a benzodiazepine; my understanding is that it’s mostly used short-term to treat anxiety and panic attacks. It’s not something that a person takes on a routine basis, like most antidepressants (Zoloft, Lexapro, etc.). A person takes an antidepressant daily; benzos are taken for symptom relief. Mostly, where I work (nurse in a hospital) we use Ativan, but I’m not real sure if that’s because that’s just what our pharmacy carries, or because its a better drug, or what. But yeah, not generally used for long term management of depression.
WVU, one of the USA’s top party school’s actually has a well respected puppetry program. When I was there I was friends with this man who was in it.
I think the bit that left me incapacitated by laughter the longest was this:
I can’t decide whether to mercilessly mock, or pity him. So you can pick your next relationship partner. The first one doesn’t really care about you as an individual, they just need someone – anyone – and you’ll do. The second knows you, likes you, and wants to be with you. They don’t need you, and you might not see them more than once a week at certain times when they’re really busy with work or if they have to go on a business trip. They don’t really need anyone, they’re doing perfectly well on their own, but they want you.
And he picks option 1. Is actively turned off by option 2?
What?
I have dated the personification of option 2. She was, and is, glorious. Three years later, I’m still faintly glowing with the leftover happiness from the time we spent together.
I’m going to go with pitying him for the moment.
Okay, seriously, fuck this guy.
Also, I was prescribed Xanax a few years ago for anxiety, and was told to take it once a day or as needed. I have no idea how common it is, but it’s clearly still being used.
I also abused the fuck out of it and then took myself off it. I don’t recommend my approach to prescription meds, kids.