It’s been a while since we checked in with LaidNYC, the alleged pickup artist whose sperm is LIQUID GOLD and whose wisdom about women, and life in general, is liquid, well, something else. Let’s see what we can learn from him.
In one recent post, Mr. LaidNYC brings his unique perspective to the question of raising boys, a topic I’m pretty sure he has no actual experience with. Well, after reading his advice, I can only hope that he has no actual experience with it, and that he never gets any. Some of his insights:
Marry a HAWT chick:
Choose his mother carefully. You are only half responsible for the genetic outcome of your child. You want a thin, young, healthy wife to help assure a healthy child. The mother should embrace the idea of wifely submission and a captain-first mate relationship in which she is not the captain. This will be your son’s first relationship model and it should embed natural gender roles in his mind forever.
Make sure your son knows he’s cockblocking you by even existing, and that you’re making a giant sacrifice by sticking around with mommy, even though she’s no longer the hottie she was when you married her, and you could TOTALLY be dating hotter chicks if she weren’t around.
Make him aware of your sacrifice. As a guy with game, you will likely be passing up lots of pussy and fun times if you choose to have kids. Make him aware of this. He should realize his existence is a gift from you. This will make him respect you more, and a child who respects his father has higher self-worth because he instinctively understands that his father is his genes.
Pay him money to approach HAWT chicks at Farmers’ Markets before he even reaches puberty. Because that’s not weird or creepy at all.
Have him approach girls. When he’s cute and pre-pubescent, take him to a park or farmers market and have him approach smoking hot babes. Give him cute stuff to say, he’ll have a 0% blowout rate. Make it fun for him, not “daddy is making me talk to girls again”. Use monetary incentives if necessary.
Get him a dog, because bitches are bitches amirite high five bro! No, really, that’s his argument:
Get a dog. A dog teaches kids how to love and how to be in charge of something they love. The parallels between dog training and game are staggering.
Also, be a drunk and a letch, because somehow this will benefit him.
Set up some dominoes for him to topple. This is fun. Buy a small piece of bar so he can easily be a bartender when he’s 18. Befriend families in the neighborhood who have hot daughters so he can have an in to fuck them. … Be a regular at a bar or strip club and pass the status on to him.
What kind of status points to you accumulate, exactly, by being a creepy old dude hanging out in a strip club all the time?
Speaking of creepy old dudes, let’s take a look at another post from LaidNYC with the seemingly inoffensive title The Walls of Facebook, in which our hero villain explains some research he’s conducted by creeping through the Facebook pictures of teen girls.
Back when I still had Facebook, I was routinely shocked at HOW MUCH hotter girls, even in their early to mid twenties, used to be just a few years earlier.
In fact, Facebook shows that when women peak is even younger than anyone blogging under their real name would care to admit. Common red pill dogma states that women are their hottest between 18-24.
I say this is bullshit. Try 15-19.
Even that is generous for modern girls in prosperous countries. If she’s going to college to binge drink on weekends and swipe her mealplan card at the buffet line, her peak likely ceases her first semester at around age 18.
True female peak, on average, is probably around 16-18.
High schoolers.
Yep, this is the same guy who was just giving advice on how to be a good parent.
He continues:
Now, we in the red pill community try to stretch that peak to 23 or 24 because most guys don’t have the chance to bang high school girls. There’s the law, different social circles, cock-blocking parents, etc. So we lie to ourselves a bit and claim the 22, 23 year old girls we date are still at peak. Close enough for government work.
Yes, that’s right. He just complained about COCK-BLOCKING PARENTS.
I was going to keep going and go through a couple more posts of his today, but, honestly, HE JUST COMPLAINED ABOUT COCK-BLOCKING PARENTS. I’ve had enough of this creepy bullshit for one day.
*waves white rose back at titianblue*
Didja wish King Richard a happy birthday on the 2nd? 🙂
@Sparky
If you’d like to, you should be able to edit your name to not display those numbers. Go to your Gravatar page and there should be an “edit profile” button. Click it and put in the name you want in the “display name” field.
Thanks Myoo!
Is that adorable puppy yours?
No, random picture found on Internet, but it looks exactly the first chihuahua we had (who sadly passed away from old age this year). She started my love of the breed. 🙂
Cute puppy! I thought for a moment it was an uber-fluffy Corgi pup, till I looked at the bigger pic.
I hardly ever see the long-haired chihauhuas around here, which is a shame – they’re so cute.
I’ve seen a dog recently and can’t figure what breed(s) zie is. I’m guessing a Pomeranian with clipped hair, but zie looks a bit too solid for that. Adorable, though – zir hair looks like a fuzzy teddy-bear’s, and overall zie looks like a bonsai Akita.
If it looks like a mini Akita it’s probably a Shiba Inu.
That could be it! This one looks quite like these pups. The only thing is zie doesn’t look like a puppy so much as an adult dog – not a puppyish face, or playing around like I’d expect a pup to. The proportions are right, with the short legs, though.
A little late, but calling parents “cockblockers”? I think I just found a new name for my shotgun….
Those dogs do look a bit puppyish. These are better examples of what Shibas normally look like.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6b/Taka_Shiba.jpg
http://static.ddmcdn.com/en-us/apl/breedselector/images/breed-selector/dogs/breeds/shiba-inu_01_lg.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dRd7gIdq04o/URcPD2LpuII/AAAAAAAAAzs/n3y2a9VOjy0/s1600/Screen+Shot+2013-02-09+at+7.07.20+PM.png
They also make hilarious noises.
Who’s the clever talking high-five puppeh! She’s gorgeous.
The two in the photo I posted are pups – I put that one up ‘cos the dog I see looks more like them than like the adults. I wonder if zie’s a not-quite-full-grown one?
… Yuki sounds like a duck having a shitfit there at the end. 😛
Maybe the one you met is adolescent, or just super fluffy? Or possibly a crossbreed. I know people crossbreed them with corgis sometimes.
Have you heard the famous Shiba scream?
And here it is in it’s embryonic form, with puppies who haven’t quite learned how to use it to manipulate people yet.
Wrong video, this one is the Shiba scream.
“You’re holding my paw! OMG I’M BEING TORTURED HALP HALP!”
😀
Age of Consent in New York is sort of creepy, because age of consent in NYC is slippery. It’s 17, but there is a four year grace period; so the real bright line is between 20-21, when sex with a 16 year old becomes a type of felony.
In theory a 12 year can consent to sex with a 16 year old (there is a four year grace period for minors). There are some logical oddities in the description, but for all practical purposes the real “age of consent” is a bit plastic, and anyone under 21 can have sex with people as young as 16.
So, in practical terms, the real cut-off is aged 21, or a four year gap.
http://www.avvo.com/legal-guides/New-York-Age-Consent
It’s interesting that Kenny says he lived in NYC, and had to move to the Carribean; since the age of consent in Jersey is 16.
Perhaps the real issue has nothing to do with the law.
@auggz
SK identifies with the PUA community, where sex is the most important thing in the world to them.
He thinks Roosh is a good example of a PUA who is less MRA-ish. (though he says he’s not a fan on a ‘personal’ level)
(so my point is that I can totally see him making the decision to become a sleazy sex tourist, because look at those credentials…)
One can avoid these faux-pas through the use of mathematical precision.
“You’ve got at least one beautiful daughter.”
😉
Pecunium,
I think that’s overstating it a bit. Regardless of New York law, the *federal* age of consent is 18, so I believe that, for example, setting up a date with a 17 year old over Facebook or the telephone would technically be a crime under federal law, even if the actual sex act isn’t.
Pecunium, I’m emailing you this one in detail, cuz TMI, but do you know the answer to that one? Was I violating just MA law or federal too? (By, you know, being two months older than my then fiancé)
Liquid gold would probably hurt a lot to ejaculate.
Also, these parenting ideas are literally what the “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” gang would come up with. Except they’re fictional characters who are supposed to be horrible.
Also, for the love of god, do NOT tell your kid that you could be having more fun if you weren’t parenting them. It is a perfect recipe for the exact opposite of good mental health.