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bad boys crackpottery creepy douchebaggery emotional abuse gaslighting men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA

The Freak-Out Artist: Julian from Real Social Dynamics takes gaslighting to a new level

I’ve read and watched and listened to a lot of creepy pickup artist crap over the past few years while writing this blog, but in some ways this little video, from PUA “coach” Julian of Real Social Dynamics, one of the bigger and better known of the commercial “game” marketers, may well be the creepiest.  Essentially, Julian provides tips to young men on how to “get” the girl of their dreams by temporarily driving her out of her mind.

No, really: he recommends that men overwhelm their female targets with confusing and contradictory stimuli to throw them so off-balance they’ll reflexively turn to their mental tormenters for support (and, maybe later, reward them with sex). This isn’t pick-up artistry so much as freak-out artistry.

The one thing about this video that is vaguely reassuring is that Julian’s examples of his technique in action are so crude and hamhanded I seriously doubt they’d actually work on anyone “in field,” as the PUAs like to say. What’s not so reassuring is that anyone would actually come up with something this predatory and perverse in the first place. Also, you know that at least a few of the video’s 32,000 viewers have actually tried out this technique on annoyed and bewildered women around the world. The world doesn’t really need any new ways for dudes to be assholes in clubs.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

A lot of the weird stuff about Scotland I’d call more part of the sort of tourist-ing of the world? Like, a tendency to view countries you’re not familiar with through this very shallow and silly lens of what a tourist board would promote as the “national costume” and “distinctive local dishes”. It happens with a lot of countries in Europe and nope, not racism, just people being dumb in a more general sense.

katz
11 years ago

Kitteh, I think I’d be literally incapable of cooking something (savory) that you would eat. Hell, I put pepper, parsley, and paprika on my macaroni and cheese. (Mac and cheese is an unexpectedly versatile and delicious dish! Anyone else have favorite ways to make it?)

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Alice

LBT and others: Does anyone here have anything good recipes I should try?

Well, French toast is easy and cheap–all you need is bread, eggs, and a little milk. (It’s a great way to get rid of stale bread, too!)

One of my most common dishes which is uber-easy is couscous with veg. Couscous IS a bit expensive, I grant, but the entire cooking takes about fifteen minutes, ten of which you leave it to cool. You put on some water, and when it boils, add your veg. I often use frozen edamame for protein (though again, a bit pricey), grape tomatoes, and a leafy green of some kind. Other delicious additions include fresh basil, nori, mushrooms, and pretty much any vegetable that cooks quickly. (Except eggplant. Never. EVER. Use eggplant.)

Once the veggies are cooked, add your spices (hot harissa, herbs de provence, or basil) and your couscous, turn off your stove, and leave it alone for about ten minutes. Then OM NOM NOM!

I love it because I can get carbs, veg, and protein all in one fast meal. And if you choose flavorful veggies (for instance, sun-dried tomatoes) you can even get buy without herbs. (Though hubby swears by them).

Stir-fries are also easy and delicious, as are stews.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Kitteh — I appreciate the point, but only way you’re giving her that high five is if she stops by your Home.

Otoh, her lasagna recipe is dead easy. Pasta sauce of your choice, 1 lb, pound of noodles, pound of ricotta, in layers, sprinkle with, uhh, fuck. I always forget the cheese that goes on top, might be mozzarella, but this is the point where I always end up asking my mother. Which I will do in the morning if anyone wants that and advice on the sauce (really though, anything works, I’ve done it with pre-made straight from the jar sauce)

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Alice – I don’t know if these are legible or if I can only read them because I already know what they say, but here’re some family recipes of mine – one for some really inauthentic-but-tasty enchiladas and one for the meatloaf that convinced my mom that meatloaf isn’t an awful abomination upon the earth.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

By which I mean, it’s the same sort of thing as the idea that German people all wear lederhosen and eat nothing but sausages.

kittehserf
11 years ago

LOL katz, I’ll just have to live on corn flakes then!

In all seriousness, if health and finances and all the other variables cooperate, I should be visiting the US in about a year, and LA will be my first stop. It’d be great to meet any Manboobzers around the area, if time allowed.

katz
11 years ago

That’s the thing, the idea that the accents are hilarious is a bit othering, and Scottish people do notice it. But calling it racism…nope, that isn’t quite right. And referring to the old British idea that gingers are somehow evil as racist is even sketchier (they do have gingers in England too, you know).

Turns out when you immediately rush to slap a label on something, especially a big label like racism, you lose the actual nuance of what’s happening.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Argenti – I gathered that, but thought, since when do I let the little matter of what side of the veil people’re on stop me? 😉

“sprinkle with, uhh, fuck.”

Our supermarket is always out of stock of that.

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Mac & Cheeeeeese! I use colby-jack, and add nutmeg, paprika, and freshly-ground black pepper. You’d be surprised how well nutmeg goes with cheese! (I know I was; I only tried it because that and cinnamon were literally the only spices I had on hand once in the dorm, and unseasoned mac & cheese is UNACCEPTABLE!)

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: katz

(Mac and cheese is an unexpectedly versatile and delicious dish! Anyone else have favorite ways to make it?)

Oh my god, my husband makes the most GLORIOUS macaroni and cheese I’ve ever tasted. Allow me to elucidate his recipe.

He gets the boxed stuff–he likes Annie’s White Cheddar, but you know, substitute your own preferred brand. He cooks the pasta like normal, but cooks veggies in the water with it. He often uses the same veggies as we would with the couscous recipe elucidated above–edamame, sun-dried tomatoes, leafy greens, stuff that cooks fast in boiling water. Bonus points if you have some pepperoni lying around.

Then, while he has the pasta and veggies draining, he takes out the little cheese packet, and instead of mixing it with milk or butter (as it recommends), he mixes it with salt, pepper, and Greek yogurt. (Don’t get the low or no-fat stuff! It is an ABOMINATION!) EXTRA bonus points if you have some fresh basil lying around.

He stirs it all together in the pot, the heat of which will cause the Greek yogurt to melt into a creamy delicious sauce. Then he takes the strained pasta and veg and mixes it all together. It takes just as much time as just making it plain out of the box.

OM NOM NOM! 8D

And this, Manboobz, is why I have the most amazing husband ever.

katz
11 years ago

In all seriousness, if health and finances and all the other variables cooperate, I should be visiting the US in about a year, and LA will be my first stop. It’d be great to meet any Manboobzers around the area, if time allowed.

Neat! I will make cookies.

pecunium
11 years ago

My family is Irish, but the hair comes from the czech side. There is some scots (but since the tuatha that dominates Scotland came from Ireland…).

The cheese is mozzarella. Oregano is better when dry, but doesn’t keep more than about 9 mos, in a dark place. Reminds me, I need to harvest more.

And now to shower, and to bed.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

Recipes: My favorite from scratch tomato sauce:


http://aspoonfulofthyme.blogspot.com/2013/05/alton-browns-pantry-friendly-tomato_5.html?m=1

It takes a little time to make, but it gets better the longer it sets. And you can add whatever leftover veggies you have in the crisper; eggplant and red and yellow bell peppers are good.

Alice: Do you have a crockpot? Crockpots are lifesavers for a busy person.

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

NOMS to LBT and dusty. 😀

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Scottish accents

I have a sad confession. My fantasy novel that takes place in a medieval world where Rome got beat down and Jews took over Europe? I never, EVER transcribe anyone’s accent, because all the Mediterrannean Jewish characters in my head have this UNGODLY heavy quasi-Scottish brogue, for ABSOLUTELY NO LOGICAL REASON. And I CAN’T REMOVE IT.

*hides face in hands* At least I don’t phonetically transcribe it…

kittehserf
11 years ago

Nutmeg and cheese isn’t something I’d have thought of, fersure!

But then, chicken and cheddar soup isn’t something I’d have thought of either, and it. was. to. die. for. (Baumgartner’s in Monroe City, Il.)

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Damn pecunium, it never even occurred to me to accuse you of being soulless cuz you’re a redhead! That explains so much!

…I’m gonna go die laughing at how stupid that is.

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

sparky – No, I don’t. Crockpots are expensive. 🙁

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Thanks pecunium, I thought it was but I seem to always forget that part (or maybe some part of my brain just finds it wrong to be making that solo as opposed to trying to fit five of us in a kitchen half the size of yours and far more awkwardly designed)

kittehserf
11 years ago

“Neat! I will make cookies.”

And with any luck, I won’t spill crumbs while nomming.

(Sir prolly will, ‘cos he’s a bigger slob than I am, but they don’t require vacuuming.)

cloudiah
11 years ago

Alice, when I’m working without access to refrigeration, I’ve done variations on these:
http://www.thekitchn.com/how-to-pack-the-perfect-salad-in-a-jar-cooking-lessons-from-the-kitchn-192174
I don’t use a jar (because BREAKABLE), but a similarly shaped plastic container. Very adaptable.

katz, I always use sharp cheddar and add a layer of spinach cooked with garlic in the middle of my mac & cheese. That way, I can pretend that it’s healthy. 😀

katz
11 years ago

Alice: Lunch box recipes are actually surprisingly limited, assuming you want something that a) you can make ahead, b) you can eat with your hands (or otherwise with limited mess), and c) you don’t need to heat or cool. For me it’s pretty much many, many varieties of sandwich/wrap/pita.

The type of sandwich that’s underappreciated? Cucumber. Spread cream cheese on the bread, sprinkle with (what else?) paprika, layer with thinly sliced cucumbers. I live on these in the summer.

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

Certain rice cookers can to basically the same job as crockpots, but they’ll still run you at least $30. But I love my ricecooker to death and it was so worth spending the Christmas money on!

kittehserf
11 years ago

“katz, I always use sharp cheddar and add a layer of spinach cooked with garlic in the middle of my mac & cheese. That way, I can pretend that it’s healthy.”

Yum!

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