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bad boys crackpottery creepy douchebaggery emotional abuse gaslighting men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA

The Freak-Out Artist: Julian from Real Social Dynamics takes gaslighting to a new level

I’ve read and watched and listened to a lot of creepy pickup artist crap over the past few years while writing this blog, but in some ways this little video, from PUA “coach” Julian of Real Social Dynamics, one of the bigger and better known of the commercial “game” marketers, may well be the creepiest.  Essentially, Julian provides tips to young men on how to “get” the girl of their dreams by temporarily driving her out of her mind.

No, really: he recommends that men overwhelm their female targets with confusing and contradictory stimuli to throw them so off-balance they’ll reflexively turn to their mental tormenters for support (and, maybe later, reward them with sex). This isn’t pick-up artistry so much as freak-out artistry.

The one thing about this video that is vaguely reassuring is that Julian’s examples of his technique in action are so crude and hamhanded I seriously doubt they’d actually work on anyone “in field,” as the PUAs like to say. What’s not so reassuring is that anyone would actually come up with something this predatory and perverse in the first place. Also, you know that at least a few of the video’s 32,000 viewers have actually tried out this technique on annoyed and bewildered women around the world. The world doesn’t really need any new ways for dudes to be assholes in clubs.

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pecunium
6 years ago

Ok. If you were in the US I could offer to help a bit, but I can’t do a shipping over the border.

dustydeste
dustydeste
6 years ago

Thanks for being concerned, I really appreciate it 🙂

We really are fine, though, and lucky enough to be able to borrow from our families if we really need to. They may not like our opinions on basically everything, but we’re still family and they’d pitch in if we were in dire straits.

Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Pecunium — if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking, just ship it to me and I’ll send it on it’s way!

In other news, my last batch of cat anger consequences has healed, so she gave me a new batch. At least I don’t seem to be bleeding this time.

kittehserf
6 years ago

In other news, my last batch of cat anger consequences has healed, so she gave me a new batch. At least I don’t seem to be bleeding this time.

It’s good to know they care. 😉

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

I’m wondering if the baked/stovetop mac and cheese thing is regional, since I was always raised on stovetop. (And now kinda crave some of hubby’s recipe.)

Argenti Aertheri
6 years ago

Maybe? Pecunium, where’d your mother pick up your version?

pecunium
6 years ago

Near Cleveland. My stepfather (same area) was a stovetopper.

katz
6 years ago

Betcha it’s not so much a regional thing as a “how much time did your family spend on meals” thing. I like baked mac perfectly well but I rarely feel like spending extra time and dishes on something that’s a perfectly good meal as is. (For that matter, I often come up with stovetop variations of other baked meals as well.)

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

Well, I now know what I’m doing with that over-sized courgette/small marrow from the allotment. Oven-baked macaroni cheese with nutmeg & added veg.

Manboobz – come for the mocking, stay for the recipes.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
6 years ago

Random – you’re in the UK, right? We got vegetables of unusual size this year too, especially courgettes*, but I thought it was some weird local thing. Apparently not?

* As in, bigger around than my fist and about a foot long. Giant mutant zucchini of doom.

kittehserf
6 years ago

Triffids! They’re triffids, I tell you!

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

Yep, in the UK. I grow tromboncino courgettes and “triffid” is the right word. They yomp across the allotment, seemingly growing about a foot a day.

mildlymagnificent
6 years ago

Those giant mutant zucchinis need some serious work to be palatable. I only ever turn them into chocolate zucchini cake or muffins or the like. I suppose if you grate them into a sauce or a gravy they’ll just disappear. As a vegetable they are a bit weak and watery once they get to that size.

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

Cut up, blanched & smothered in cheese sauce is my solution 🙂

mildlymagnificent
6 years ago

They yomp across the allotment, seemingly growing about a foot a day.

Hah. One year we noticed our four zucchini plants were a bit slow to get going. So mr planted four more down by the back fence. It wasn’t long before he was spending a few hours a week trudging around to the neighbours with a basket of zucchinis to give away – had to pop in a few tomatoes and capsicums as a bonus to get takers after a while.

But even picking them every couple of days, we’d always miss a couple that turned into giants lurking under those large leaves.

katz
6 years ago

Eight zucchini plants?? Noooooo! We had two growing in a patch of gravel and it was still overwhelming.

Falconer
6 years ago

Zucchini are my garlic*, unless they’re cooked in something — then they take up flavor, kind of like eggplant.

I can barely stand asparagus.

*Actual garlic is A-OK.

titianblue
titianblue
6 years ago

I love asparagus. Probably my favourite veg. THe two months from St George’s day are total bliss. Poached egg on lightly steamed asparagus with crusty home-baked bread is heaven on a plate.

cloudiah
6 years ago

I like roasting asparagus in a little olive oil, and at the end adding a topping of panko and Parmesan. Which is the same thing I put on my mac-n-cheese, coincidentally. I promise, I do not put that on everything.

Also, titianblue has now been added to this post.

LBT
LBT
6 years ago

You cruel people! You’re making me crave food that I can’t really do on the road! *shakes fist*

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Marinate asparagus in balsamic vinegar and then grill them–it’s so good it should be illegal.

LadySunami
LadySunami
6 years ago

Good,

You still haven’t answered my question! It’s been a couple of days though, so perhaps you forgot.

The post: http://manboobz.com/2013/09/30/the-freak-out-artist-julian-from-real-social-dynamics-takes-gaslighting-to-a-new-level/comment-page-6/#comment-357445

Please respond.

kittehserf
6 years ago

LadySunami – I don’t know if Good was or wasn’t a Mr Al sock, though the references from his “Thomas Moore” character suggest so. With any luck, he won’t be back.

thenatfantastic
thenatfantastic
6 years ago

Titianblue, you have NO IDEA how jealous of you I am for that allotment. I live in a street where there’s about 80 houses and at least 250 households (flats) and a ten year waiting list for the allotment. I have to deal with my 6ftx5ft basement patio 🙁

Gemma
Gemma
6 years ago

Just came across this gem on youtube. It’s entitled “How to get girls to kiss you” but really it’s just a guy finding a sneaky way to undermine a girl’s ability to say “stop that you’re sexually harassing me.” I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTuBf4BrIgE

Divided Line
6 years ago

Why don’t you wrote an article about how the average male is sexually invisible by default and how this contributes to suicide, drug abuse, and wasted and destroyed lives because chumps believe the garbage that idiots like you and the rest of the culture tell them about how to relate to women. Women do not hit on men and obviously “just being yourself” isn’t working for a pretty large portion of the population. It’s increasingly impossible to become the good, hard working provider male, since jobs have been offshored and outsourced, so what’s left? When does reality intrude on your comfortable and sanctimonious fantasy world?

Why don’t you write an article about why it is that women force men into this position? It seems we’d be asking that question if we were serious about gender equality or ending the “objectification” of women. What other possible result would there be but their objectification if they rely on men to initiate relationships? Men either learn to do it or they die alone. This is such a profoundly destructive and widespread social pathology and yet nobody wants to point out the obvious. What a joke.

The fact that a pick up artist community even exists is proof of male powerlessness, not their dominance. Isn’t that obvious?

cloudiah
6 years ago

Dude, it’s really rude to come onto someone’s blog to necro a thread from 2013 just to tell them what you think they should be writing. WordPress is a free blogging platform. If you want to write about how terrible women are, start your own blog. Or, you know, join the commenting section at one of the innumerable blogs that already exists to talk about how terrible women are.

Here, we mock misogyny and share funny cat videos. You may not fit in here.

Also, your premise is entirely unsupported by facts. I suspect if you’re having a difficult time finding a partner without using abuse and manipulation, it has more to do with you being the kind of asshat who comes onto someone’s blog to necro a thread from 2013 just to tell them what you think they should be writing.

So there’s that, too.

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

We’d gone awhile without any sad boner trolls but it was inevitable that we’d get one eventually.

pallygirl
pallygirl
6 years ago

the average male is sexually invisible by default

Citation required.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

Why don’t you wrote an article about how the average male is sexually invisible by default and how this contributes to suicide, drug abuse, and wasted and destroyed lives because chumps believe the garbage that idiots like you and the rest of the culture tell them about how to relate to women.

Because that’s a big load of horseshit and you need to grow up, take responsibility for your life and start your own blog if you want to decide what gets blogged about and what doesn’t. You not getting laid is not that big a deal and if you think the worst thing in the world is dry balls, you are one overly coddled little turd who needs to get some perspective and empathy. Sit down. Shut up and try to learn something, because as things stand, you’re a dupe and a sad example of stupid, self centered docuhebags who would believe anything as long as it told them they were special, under appreciated and put upon. You want an excuse to climb up your own privileged ass and tell yourself that your minor inconveniences are the worst problems in the world. They aren’t.

Lea
Lea
6 years ago

The fact that a pick up artist community even exists is proof of male powerlessness, not their dominance. Isn’t that obvious?

What? No. It proves that there are men now as ever who do not respect women and will pressure, coerce or rape them to get their jollies. It shows that shallow, selfish men with little sense and less empathy will pay money to assholes to learn how to become asshole rapist, abusers if they think that will get them what they want from a woman. It proves that those men are likely alone because they are horrible people and women are correct to avoid them because those men do not see women as fully human.

People are sometimes lonely. People go without sex. If you think that’s only something men deal with, it’s because, again, you don’t know the first thing about women’s lives or see them as people. Sex is great and sex is something most humans want to have, but it is not water, food or shelter. We can live just fine without it. Masturbation is perfectly healthy and porn/imagination is plentiful. So anyone can rub one out if they get horny to the point of frustration. Sex does not have to happen with a partner. No one owes you the use of their body.
EVER.

Keee-Rice-st, you’re a pathetic, ignorant, whiner.

hellkell
hellkell
6 years ago

Hey Divided Line, we’re not your mommies. We don’t care that your boner has a sad.

sparky
sparky
6 years ago

Why don’t you write an article about why it is that women force men into this position? It seems we’d be asking that question if we were serious about gender equality or ending the “objectification” of women. What other possible result would there be but their objectification if they rely on men to initiate relationships? Men either learn to do it or they die alone. This is such a profoundly destructive and widespread social pathology and yet nobody wants to point out the obvious. What a joke.

This is truly the human rights tragedy of our times, folks. Women force men into a life of sexlessness by our evil ways of choosing who we want to have sex with. Is it any wonder women are “objectified?” Besides, “objectification” really isn’t a thing because scare quotes. If women weren’t such hypergamous b*tches than men wouldn’t be forced into gaslighting and manipulating women with PUA techniques!

/sarcasm

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

“I wouldn’t need to gaslight you if you’d just SUCK MY COCK already! God, why do you keep FORCING me to do this to you?”

Yeah, Divided Line, you’re a real prince.

Also, my husband is NOT sexually invisible. He’s had at least one person on Mammoth say (even jokingly) that they’d bang him, and they haven’t even SEEN him!

Fibinachi
6 years ago

Why don’t you wrote an article about how the average male is sexually invisible by default and how this contributes to suicide, drug abuse, and wasted and destroyed lives because chumps believe the garbage that idiots like you and the rest of the culture tell them about how to relate to women.

Hilariously, ridiculously wrong.

Women do not hit on men

Riiiight.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Yeah. Yeah. No woman ever hit on or flirted with a man. No. They’re pristine princesses of perfect sexual isolation with no desire to ever sully their existences with the wanton vagaries of saliva and sex and fluid exchange and bodily contact.

and obviously “just being yourself” isn’t working for a pretty large portion of the population. It’s increasingly impossible to become the good, hard working provider male, since jobs have been offshored and outsourced, so what’s left? When does reality intrude on your comfortable and sanctimonious fantasy world?

Maybe they’re shitty people.

I mean that. Maybe they take “Be yourself” to mean “take up a job that allows me to domineer a support unit of general approximate physical beauty and have her do tasks for me while I play at being a manly masculine provider of husbandly support, drink 3.7 beers a week and talk with other gents about how silly women are”, in which cas, yes, of course “Be yourself” doesn’t work. They’re shitty people, and just being themselves just makes them more shitty.

“Just be yourself” is great, useful and wonderful advice that at the same time is also vague, meaningless and hard to decipher for exactly the kind of person for whom it would do the most good to be told that they should stop being so fucking desperate, just relax and maybe find out what they enjoy doing with their lives, do that, then see what happens.

Why don’t you write an article about why it is that women force men into this position? It seems we’d be asking that question if we were serious about gender equality or ending the “objectification” of women. What other possible result would there be but their objectification if they rely on men to initiate relationships? Men either learn to do it or they die alone. This is such a profoundly destructive and widespread social pathology and yet nobody wants to point out the obvious. What a joke.

Holy shit you’re literally qouting Warren Farrell. You read Why Men Are The Way They Are? That’s almost line for line what’s in the pages on male sexual relationships, and it’s still stupid and wrong.

The fact that a pick up artist community even exists is proof of male powerlessness, not their dominance. Isn’t that obvious?

The existenes of stock traders prove that economics is poorly understood.
The existence of martial arts clubs mean fighting techniques are hard to understand.
Poker groups are all addicted to card shuffling and just trying to channel their urges into something useful.

There have always been people with hobbies. These people will always get together with other people with the same hobbies. It just so happens that most of these people see their hobby as being “Using women as a scorecard for how awesome they are” (see that “being yourself = possibly just being a shitty person” up there)

Flying Mouse
Flying Mouse
6 years ago

The fact that a pick up artist community even exists is proof of male powerlessness, not their dominance. Isn’t that obvious?

Western women having bodily autonomy and freedom of association has nullified all other rights and privileges of men! True equality will exist only when a woman must share her time, attention, and person with a man on demand.

Unimaginative
6 years ago

Hey, Divided Line, why don’t you start a blog and write about how having sex is going to fix everything that’s wrong in your life? Why don’t you write about why you alone, of all the lonely people in the world, will turn to drugs and crime if your only sexual outlet is masturbation? Asshole.

LBT (with an open writeathon!)

Also, wow, I just realized Divided Line is crediting heterosexual male frustration to suicide.

Jesus. Seeing as I was in one of the more at-risk groups for suicide (mentally ill, homeless, trans), I think I’m offended. Dude, do you really think something as huge and awful as suicide is so easily boiled down to, “women won’t suck your dick for you”?

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