So a helpful Twitterer told me that I was a frequent topic of conversation on A Voice for Men’s Honey Badger “radio” show last night — that’s the one hosted by Karen Straughan (Girl Writes What) and Alison Tieman (Typhon Blue) and a newer addition to AVFM’s FeMRA stable named Della Burton. Bored, I went over to take a listen to the archived show. Well, bits and pieces of it, anyway. Life is short, and every minute of this show felt about an hour long.
Anyway, I missed most of whatever it was they said about me, but I did manage to force myself to sit through a good chunk of the segment featuring none other than Nick Reading, the guy who’s running a joke campaign for city council of Edmonton Alberta as the “Patriarchy Party” candidate. You know, the dude we talked about just yesterday.
The gals did their best to play along with his over-the-top patriarchal schtick, proclaiming themselves submissive inferior females unworthy of his manly phallus, and so on. It was as gratingly unfunny as you might imagine, and it went on and on. Even the Honey Badgers, perhaps wondering if this whole segment wasn’t a rather apt metaphor for their own role within A Voice for Men and the Men’s Rights movement at large, couldn’t quite bring themselves to laugh at any of Nick’s, er, humor.
At least not until, about 49 minutes into the show, he brought out the rape jokes.
Take a listen:
Paul “The Thought of Fucking Your Shit Up Gives Me an Erection” Elam, meet Nick “If They Didn’t Scream No, How Else Would I Get an Erection” Reading.
In case you weren’t able to make all that out, due to the clear-as-mud sound engineering job of AVFM’s James Huff — you may remember him as the guy responsible for this amazing rant — I have transcribed the exchange below as best I could, cutting out a few repeated phrases and ignoring some remarks that got buried under other remarks.
Nick Reading: No never means no. It only means yes. That’s an understanding that we have within the patriarchy.
Karen Straughan: It is.
Alison Tieman: That’s true. Actually “no” should be stricken from the English language because it simply makes no sense. How could any woman ever say no to the holy phallus unless she was criminally insane?
Nick: Criminally insane, yes.
Della Burton [?]: Criminally, yes.
Karen: But, but we shouldn’t strike “no” from all the dictionaries and the lexicons of language simply because there are numerous times in the course of a day when a man loves to say “no” to a woman.
Nick: I would almost insist on striking it from the non-male vernacular but if they didn’t scream it, how else would I get an erection?
[Awkward pause]
[Laughter]
Della [?]: Oh my goodness.
Karen: Right, you’re right.
Della: I hadn’t even thought of that.
Karen: So no is still in.
A Voice for Men: Promoting Human Rights, One Rape Joke at a Time
EDITED TO ADD: Below, a video on YouTube about this episode of Honey Badger radio, which not only looks at the show itself but at what was going on in the official chatroom for the show at the time, which turns out to be even creepier than the stuff said by Nick Reading on the show itself.
Along with the standard MRA misogyny from some of AVFM’s regulars, there were bizarre sexualized comments directed at the so-called Honey Badgers themselves: one commenter went on at length about how he wanted to use Karen Straughan’s breast milk in his coffee (and spike her coffee with his semen). Palani provides screenshots and everything. Some of her commentary is a bit problematic — she refers to them as “retards” at one point — but if you’ve got 15 minutes it’s worth a watch.
[VIDEO REMOVED BY REQUEST OF VIDEOMAKER]
I’m not a big fan of mangoes in general, but mango lassi is lovely when it’s made right.
Pic
Oy. Ok people. Since you think defending yourself against someone coming on this thread and going completely off topic bashing me is somehow affirming someone’s slander then fine. Point being, my response wasn’t directed to all of you. It was directed to the person who slandered me and yes, because this is old drama (at least 1.5 years old) I would likely think it’s someone who has stalked me around in the past doing the same ole thing they do when they find me on the internet. It’s not very nice to do that to me. I’m tired of it. That’s what you didn’t know and that’s why I’m pissed. So instead of railing off at me, try to see it from my perspective. I didn’t slander a SINGLE one of you.
The person who said it is NOT on topic. I didn’t come here to start problems. Yes, I am the woman who made the video that was featured here. I saw that comment in the thread and OMGALMIGHTY, I got ANGRY that someone was STILL bringing up old slander when I’ve already shown this person/group of people that they are asshole/s and STILL trying to slander me. Gee, if someone just randomly left a comment slandering you on some random blog where you were featured how would you feel about it? Would you correct it? Wouldn’t you be a tiny bit pissed off that someone brought up 2 y/o slanderous drama on a blog where you were featured? Especially when you’ve already fought off this crap for years?
I don’t know who it is. How the hell would I know? To me, because of the claims made, this person has followed me for YEARS (they wouldn’t know my old Youtube handle if they didn’t or didn’t know the situation in which all this old drama took place). So they are aware they’re on here slandering me. But now I’m the bad person because I don’t want to be slandered all over the damn internet by confronting that person?
And then some of you who don’t even KNOW ME are saying I’m confirming every slander they say about me because I challenged them to show their proof! WTF? I said “back off’ because I already KNOW what nonsense this person either knows about or has manufactured (youtube vids) in regard to the slander that I’m some TERF. I ALSO know my video response to this person/group which shows them to be nothing but assholes who had nothing better to do than make up crap about me. That’s why I said ‘back off’. But instead a few of you just out and out attack me b/c I’m defending myself!
I’m not going to allow someone to slander me without responding back telling them to STOP and back off. Especially when this group of people (NOT YOU, but obviously someone who is aware of the old drama) has come after me time and time and time again on forums and such.
Did I accuse all of you of being minions? No. I bloody well did not. I SAID the person who left that comment was probably either the person who continually slandered me (among other things) or one of the minions.
I’m not being hostile to this whole forum. I’m being hostile to the person who, once again, brought up old drama and slander. That’s the culprit here. Not me.
If the person that brought it up has something to say to me, say it. Go ahead. Accuse me and I’ll show you why you should back off. Make the evidence known. Show me why I’m some TERF. And if you aren’t part of that group that followed me around doing this crap then it’s YOU who should apologize for slandering me with NO evidence. And now you know you just repeated it. For what? Why do that? Why bring up an old user name of mine that I used FIVE years ago on Youtube? Why repeat slander if you supposedly don’t know me or any of the details surrounding this?
Simple here folks. It’s old Youtube drama. It was brought up by ONE person on this forum. Now that person is either part of the group that perpetuated that crap about me or it’s someone who is just repeating it. I don’t know. I DID bet my money on that person knowing exactly what they’re doing. Do I really think anyone on this forum seeing one of my videos about MRA’s would know anything about drama on Youtube that happened 2 years ago? No. But it was brought up and I’m not happy about it. Sue me. But none of you have the right to go after me when *I* am the one who was slandered. You all know each other. I don’t know any of you.
I was happy my video was here but now, not so much. I contacted David on Twitter b/c he was the topic of conversation on an MRA radio show. I made a vid. He embedded it. I come here and find that comment slandering me. I get pissed. Don’t get angry with me for getting pissed at one person on your forum who had no right to say that crap to begin with.
The reason I’m so angry is b/c this person and her group has continually slandered me on random forums and caused so many problems for me on Youtube. If the person who said it was just a repeater and not involved then you should apologize. It’s not nice to slander someone without ANY evidence.
OMG she’s back and I’m here this time! *claps hands*
Someone needs to learn the First Rule of Holes.
Damn, that’s a lot of words you have there to not say very much.
Wow, that was such a wanky wall of text, I thought I was on LJ for second.
OH NO AN OFF-TOPIC COMMENT!
On some sort of fandom wank page, specifically.
Oh and yeah, call me a BARF. Just take out that aggression on me when you don’t even know who I am b/c dear o dear! I called an MRA the r-word. Quick, run to reddit and get on their cases for MRA clothing styles and explain to them class analysis so they damn well learn that they’re not to make fun of people’s clothing choices. The SIN! The SIN!
I just committed such a horrific act. I’ll have to tell my Rabbi (another R word!!!!) so he can straighten me out. I called a bunch of rape apologists, misogynists, homophobes and those-who-make-crazy-lolsuits-charging-the-Canadian-govt-with-misandry a bunch of r-words! And before you mistake that r for rapey, let me remind you mister: it’s a synonym for ‘elevator not going to the top floor’ and uh, ‘not playing with a full deck’. If I had said that instead of that r word I would not be given a lecture on intersectionality!
Hey, everyone, did I mention that I’m drinking this really cool black tea infused with longan right now?
(Ducks pitchforks and flaming torches.)
Mood: Frothing with impotent rage
Such DRAMA. SLANDER! FEELINGS! ALL OVER THE PLACE!
Huh. It initially looks like an English sentence, and yet it makes no damn sense at all. We are on LiveJournal!
I have no idea what that clothing thing is supposed to mean.
I’m sure joyintorah feels her FREEZE PEACH has been most horribly trampled upon after being told not to be an ableist shithead.
Oh hey, here’s a novel concept! Or maybe the person who mentioned it is a regular around these parts who’s familiar with TERFs in general and was unaware that you aren’t actually one. And had you not gone immediately to long rants and accusations, you’d have gotten a perfectly polite reply?
And I am a minion damnit! Wait…do Royal Assassins guard Sir Pecunium from the dreaded mango??
I wouldn’t want to ruffle your feathers, so before I reply: Was this comment directed at me?
…
I’m assuming you’re saying yes. See, this is the reason nobody is taking you seriously: You assume that everything is an insult directed specifically at you by some shadowy stalker mastermind. In the first place, that’s very silly and well on its way to debilitatingly paranoid, but more pertinently, in your mind it absolves you of any need to actually think about what’s being said. It’s all just someone out to slander you, so of course you can ignore them and not worry about whether they have an actual point!
End result: You are an obnoxious and terrible person who will never get better because any kind of criticism about you, even things that were neither intended as serious criticism nor directed at you particularly, gets treated as a dire personal insult.
I found Owly a partner! Someone else capable of stringing words together that make me go “so that’s English, and I know what all those words mean, but wtf are you trying to say putting them together like that?”
“Someone needs to learn the First Rule of Holes.”
I literally just emailed Sir Pecunium with the subject “first rule of holes”!
GreatEvil minds think alike?jeezes, joyintorah, fucking relax. this is a blog where we make fun, srsly. it’s totally unnecessary to come in guns blazing ranting about a mistake someone made about you. all you needed to say was i’m not a terf and it would have been corrected. the way you did it, first you ranted when it was unnecessary and now you’re doubling down. here’s a thought – mras can be total shits and calling anyone an r-word is an asshole thing to do. fucking learn to accept responsibility for your fuckup.
We are all sockpuppets for that person who’s been stalking joyintorah18 all over the internet for years, including David. He created this blog just so that, years later, one sock could make a comment about joyintorah18 that would cause her to explode. It’s a long con, is what I’m saying.
It’s taken a lot of work, but our mission is accomplished and now we can shut down our blog. What am I saying? It’s just me. I can shut down my blog and delete all of my sockpuppets.
It’s been fun.
Oh and I think the reference to MRA clothing and Reddit refers to the discussion on r/amr about the “rally” in Toronto, in which some people were making fun of the MRAs clothing and other people were saying that wasn’t really cool. Totally amicable discussion, BTW.
I’m not the only one who stops taking people seriously as soon as they claim to be being persecuted by shadowy figures who have minions, right? It’s the word “minions”. It just doesn’t work unless I picture someone twirling their mustache as they say it.
But…but…I WANNA BE A MINION!!
Mostly cuz at one point I had a dozen strong school of clown loach minions to
do my biddingbe amazing entertaining.Fuck being a minion, if we’re doing this I want my own minions.
(Or we could just have a conversation like reasonable people, that would work too.)
Every time I see “minions” I think either of Henri III’s famous minions (definitely moustaches involved there) or the bit in The Magician’s Nephew where Jadis yells “Minions” for no obvious reason when she’s going off at Digory and Polly.
Either makes more sense than meltdownwithorwithouttorah.
That’s silly, we’re all strawfeminists, we don’t do that.