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Christopher in Oregon “Deconstructs the Female” and Her Allegedly Very Stinky You-Know-What [UPDATE: Now With Dramatic Reading!]

Georgia O'Keefe: Probably Not Christopher in Oregon's favorite painter
Georgia O’Keeffe: Probably Not Christopher in Oregon’s favorite painter

It’s time for another visit into the fertile mind of Christopher in Oregon, perhaps the most viscerally misogynistic boob I’ve ever written about on this site. Most of the misogynists I write about here like to pretend that they’re not misogynists, or to dress up their misogyny in pseudoscientific terms, talking about the evils of female “hypergamy” or citing dubious evo psych to back up their reprehensible views.

Not old Chris. He’s an old-school, women are bad because their vaginas are stinky, woman-hater. And his 2007 manifesto “Deconstruct the Female,” which I recently found reposted on MarkyMark’s blog, may well be his masterpiece.

Let’s take a look at some of the highlights.

On the whorishness and deceit of all women (except Christopher in Oregon’s mom):

My mother was very vocal about women and their nasty ways. For this I will always be grateful. She told me in no uncertain terms that women were pretty much all whores and liars, and that for all practical purposes, there were no exceptions.

On the Impending Ugliness of All Women:

A woman’s looks almost always head for the gutter as she ages. … I’m not talking when she hits fifty, or even forty.

Thirty. Maybe sooner. …

This is one of the greatest secrets that few people talk about, and young men are almost never warned about. Women get ugly. BUTT UGLY.

Cellulite: Might Literally Eat You

Oh, God. Have you ever walked down the aisle in a store and observed the women waddling along in short pants? Have you ever looked at their legs? Their thighs? A ghastly sight. Cellulite jiggling in every direction. It’s like the old fifties sci-fi movie “The Blob”. Sometimes I’m afraid it’s going to jump out and envelope me.

Breasts: An Affront to All That is Good and True

Contemplate her breasts. Ah, yes. The twin orbs of pleasure that young men so foolishly lust after.

Why?

They’re a couple of sacks of fat with oozing nipples on the end. Very few women’s breasts look like the one’s you see in the movies. Normally, most breasts are NOT attractive at all. They droop. Sometimes they’re not identical. Some look like gourds. When children come along, they sag badly. Very badly. Sometimes down to their belly, which by this time is also sagging in a race to hit the floor. In a woman, everything heads south, my friends. NEVER forget this.

Vaginas: I Smelled One Once, and It Was Very Stinky

I’m going to be blunt. Have you ever smelled a vagina? Seriously. I mean in it’s natural, unwashed state? Really stuck your nose right down there and taken a deep breath?

Once.

My G-d. The stench could have knocked a buzzard off a shit wagon at fifty paces. To this day I swear there was a cloud of flies buzzing around that portal of doom. Sometimes when riding my Harley-Beasties around the rural roads here in Oregon, I encounter dead skunks. Road kill. We have a lot of them here, and when they’ve been baking in the summer sun, you can smell them a long way off even at sixty miles per hour.

Vaginas tend to be even nastier.

Vaginas, Part 2: He’s Not Done Yet

I have long said that a vagina is a cesspool of filth and disease, and that I will never place any part of my anatomy into such a sewer. With the odds that a woman has herpes or HPV, this statement is even more true today.

Nature has a clever trick to warn us of danger. Smell. If you encounter something that smells bad, or rancid, Nature is telling you to get away.

(Danger, danger Will Robinson!)

You are being warned that something is probably carrying disease, and is filthy. Definatley not fit for human consumption.

Consider what comes out of a woman’s vagina when she has a period. It’s not just blood, boys. Other nasty stuff sloughes off. If she has HPV, then dead warts (if she’s being treated) come oozing out. Or dead pre-cancerous lesions. Scabs. Brown slime that reeks.

Vaginas, Part 3: Also, They’re Near the Butt

Think about her rectum. Yep. Her butt-hole. Think about how close it is to her vagina. Do you REALLY want your gonads slapping up against her poop-shute?

Really?

How carefully does she wipe after she uses the toilet? Do you know? Of course not. You’re taking it on faith that she is very sanitary, and we all know we can trust women.

Women: They Also Have Mouths

Look at her pretty face. Think about her mouth. Can you say gingivitus? Tooth decay? Mucous? Plaque? The human mouth is FILTHY, and a woman’s mouth is no exception, bucko. She can also carry Herpes and HPV in her mouth from all those blow jobs she’s been giving out to every guy in town. Blow jobs that mysteriously disappear once married, I might add.

Oh, Eyes Too

Look at her beady little eyes. Will they look so pretty when she is squinting through glasses that are as thick as coke bottle bottoms? When they’re oozing? When they are dull and lifeless as she hits middle age?

Women Over Fifty are Rotting Carcasses

Surely you’ve seen a middle-aged couple walking along. The man is fifty. In shape. Pleasantly greying on the sides of his head. …

Then look at his wife

She looks like an open-casket funeral. The stench of death is about her. He’s just hitting his prime in looks, while she’s flying towards death. Yes, she may outlive him. If you can call occupying a rotting carcass living.

Women: They Also Poop

Women produce the same filth and excretions as men. They require deodrants both for underarms, and even worse, for down below. What happens when a woman uses the toilet? Do you think it comes out smelling like roses? Think again.

Do Not Allow The Human Female to Use You For Breeding Purposes

Consider the other examples in nature of males being used and cast aside after breeding. Once they have served their purpose, they are useless to the female.

Do you think you will be treated any differently when the female has used you for breeding? You will only be around as long as she feels she need you financially. No longer.

Spend Your Life Exercising Furiously Instead

Clear your mind of lust. Avoid looking at women. Avoid porn. Masturbate if needed when yonger- or older. Don’t date. Don’t socialize with women. Concentrate on your hobbies. Your work. Your exercising.

Huh. That’s a lot to take in.

But there’s just one thing. I don’t want to boast, but over the forty-some years of my life I have found my nose in close proximity to a human vagina on more than one occasion, and, um, dude, I think maybe you got a bad one.

For more from Chris, check out the archives.

EDITED TO ADD: And here’s a DRAMATIC READING of the whole manifesto, courtesy of Quietuus!

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titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

^grammar fail – note to self: proof read comments before posting. Eats Shoots & Leaves is my bible.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Did you invite the strippers, JFK and Stalin?

On topic…

No, I got nothing. Well, besides comments on Elevatorgate but die already damnit!

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

titianblue – I swear it’s part of the narrative of how MRAs came to be.

The following is a parody.

From the Red Pill Scripture’s Book of Genesis, 1:1-36

In the beginning, a singularity came to be, which soon caused the creation of matter and anti-matter. The anti-matter and the matter came to battle with one another and the matter prevailed. And this was good.

Now there was matter in the form of quirks and other quantum things. So they came together and became atoms, which soon became attracted to other atoms to become greater and greater masses. Some atoms came together in such a way that they fused and made more and more different kinds of matter. And this was good.

Soon, some of these greater masses—named “stars”—began to explode or collapse as they found less and less energy to smash matter together. These star remnants floated around and eventually came together to form things called “planets”. And this was good.

Eventually, a series of reactions came to be on one of these planets known as “Earth”, causing preliminary life to form upon the earth. This preliminary life eventually evolved to become members of various kingdoms: Animalia, Plantae, Fungi, Protista, Archaea, Bacteria. And this was good.

The Kingdom of Animalia/i> separated into various further groups, eventually giving rise to certain animals such as the lobster, the cow, the pig, the horse, the dog, and the human. And this was good.

The humans gave rise to a male and a female, and they came to know each other. Through this, they populated Earth, and became the caregivers of this planet. The female was a gentle caregiver, willing to stay in the kitchen and make sandwiches all day, while the male went out to bring home the bacon. The male ruled over the female and the planet, and they lived together in harmony for centuries. And this was good.

One day, a female decided that she was not going to take part in this harmony anymore. She began to demand more and more autonomy from the male. He, the foolish man, began to grant her this power—feminism—and she soon established a matriarchy. She now ruled over the male and began to exert her power in unwise ways, destroying the harmony that once was there, and hiding it through brainwashing. And this was bad.

In the meanwhile, a bottle of red pills was hidden, open only to the matriarchy’s leaders and forbidden for all males. Soon, the male found this bottle of red pills. Lo and behold, he took one of these red pills, although it had been forbidden, and his eyes were opened to both good and evil. He saw that evil had taken a hold of this world and made it chaotic, and swore to fix this and return to the harmony of the centuries past. And this was good.

This male began to meet with other males, and they all partook of the forbidden red pill, awakening to know what the female matriarchy already knew—that the world that they have lived in was chaotic and disharmonious. They began to come together and attempt to fix this, by defying their female leaders. Some of them ran away, in order to hide themselves from the female gaze. Others stayed in this world, seducing and wrecking the leaders from the inside out. They communicated with each other, creating a place of harmony called the manosphere. And lo and behold, this was good to their eyes.

[I didn’t know how to end this, so I left it as is. If someone has any ideas, send them my way. 🙂 ]

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

DAMN IT HTML TAG FAIL. >:(

Oh well.

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

The Oxford comma rocks!

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

a place of harmony called the manosphere

Snrfle!

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

😛 Hey, this is the Red Pill Scriptures!

Oh, I now haz blog. I posted this on said blog, as it SHOULD look. 🙂

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

Now there was matter in the form of quirks and other quantum things.

Quirks: The zany quarks!
*cough*
Sorry… couldn’t stop myself. 😛

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

Damn you, html tags!

Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Oops. This is what happens when someone who doesn’t fully understand quantum physics tries to be as accurate as possible with a science-based story. 😛

juliebreeze
juliebreeze
11 years ago

Hellkell commented “It’s no one’s job but theisr to want to learn, grow, and “heal.””

Hellkell your certainy right on this one. When my boyfriend attended his 12 step ACOA group they encouraged him to look in the mirror at his ownself before judging anyone elses actions. To take responsibility for our actions. I think these mgtow guys like Christopher in Oregon must take responsibility for their own action, or how else with they become emotionally free and grow? But on the other hand I would tell these MGTOW guys life does not have to be this way.

Kittesehrf commented”I’m really hoping
hoping you’re not implying that the “opportunity” is shorthand for a sweet woman to love them and ignore what misogynistic scumbags they are and make them alllll better. Because that’s how it’s reading to me, and as hellkell said, it’s nobody else’s job to do that for them”.

No of course not kittehserf I am not implying that. any sweet feminist woman has to love them. Like you implied healing can only come from within oneself. Yet I apologize kittesehrf if some type of “maternal instinct” came out of me perhaps unconsciously to try to help these MGTOW’s. It was certainly not my intention. I do realize though it did come out of me.

Titianblue commented that just as we should not feel sorry for the racist or homophobe we should not feel sorry for the misogynist. In that respect you are correct in all hate has similarities to it. But as a self identified feminist woman for about 17 years the unique divide between a man and woman may be a bit different than other divided I am not sure. I mean even though Feminists and MRA’s are on opposite sides of the political and social spectrum we are still man and women who love and need each other or could individually fall in love with each other,Even a misogynist has a mom and a man hater a dad.It is a very line of love and hate between an ardent mra and feminist It has been a long day I am sorry it is hard to clarify my thoughts on this topic.

Kittehserf no I am surely without a doubt implying for a sweet women to love them and make them all better. Perhaps we should have some sort of feminist outreach to these MGTOW guys? To encourage them that feminism may actually help them. But then again it will probably not make a difference,.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I’m sure these dudes would just LOVE a feminist outreach. They already piss and moan how feminism isn’t doing enough to help men–like, hello, do you know what feminism is?

These are grown ass men who’re angry that not every woman they meet wants to fuck them/mommy them/be around them.

I’m sure you mean well, but fuck that noise.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Alice, that’s awesome!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Feminist outreach? Like the way when they have legit complaints we end up, invariably, noting how feminism is already working on that and they get all “but women aren’t suffering enough!!”?

Military is all men? Feminists either want women to be able to serve, or are just against the military entirely (gender moot). Nope, not what they want! They want women to die in equal numbers!

Marie
11 years ago

@juliebreeze

However, I was just implying specifically for these MGTOW guys like Christopher.who may have been hurt by a woman in the past perhaps a competent therapist who can help turn around these guys and they may eventually become good husband/boyfriend material.

eh. I mostly wanna stay out of this, because I have a hard telling what people are getting at from just a few comments, but this stuck out to me. (edit: clearly this changed as I read more, since I did but in, but I type while I read :P)

I mean, it doesn’t really matter if X becomes good ‘husband/boyfriend’ material. If they become less hateful people, yay, but bribing people to be nice with the implication ‘then you’ll get laid wink wink’ seems weird.

@kittehs

I’m really short on compassion for misogynists, same as I’m short on compassion for racists, homophobes, trans* phobes and the like.

Ditto.

@titanblue

It’s interesting isn’t it that no one says of a racist “Well, they must have been hurt or traumatised by a PoC at some point earlier in life

I actually have heard that one :/ Or variants. like ‘well once a black guy was mean to me’. I mean it doesn’t seem like a sexism specific thing.

@juliebreeze

. I mean even though Feminists and MRA’s are on opposite sides of the political and social spectrum we are still man and women who love and need each other or could individually fall in love with each other,Even a misogynist has a mom and a man hater a dad

1) we know misogynists are people. We just think they’re shitty people. Saying someone has a mom/dad doesn’t say anything.
2) idk that whole sentence starting with the ‘man and woman’ bs seems very cis/hetero sexist and I can’t put my finger on why. Thoughts, regulars?

Perhaps we should have some sort of feminist outreach to these MGTOW guys? T

O_o

Marie
11 years ago

idk, and on ‘feminist outreach’ there already are plenty of 101 sites to help people get into it, its not like the information is hard to find.

Fade
Fade
11 years ago

juliebreeze

They just have not learned or been given the opportunity to heal.

okay… so, I’m pretty much without commentary on lots of what your saying (because idk what to say? I mean, yeah, misogynists look just like everyone else?) but, this feels off to me. “Given an opportunity” makes it sound like it’s those ladies’ faults that they weren’t nice enough to them so they could stop hating ladies.

Seconding Kittehserf

Assuming they can afford therapy, what’s stopping them from getting it? Oh yeah, they don’t think there’s anything wrong with them, it’s those bitches who are the problem.

Sure, if you felt irrationally angry around women and knew that it was not our fault it was something with you and did not take your irrational anger out on bystanders, you might want to try to find a way to fix that. But that’s not what I get reading MRAs.

Okay, I saw that you said that’s not what you meant.

Perhaps we should have some sort of feminist outreach to these MGTOW guys?

*physically cringes*

I mean, you said you agreed that it’s no one’s job to help them learn and heal, so why are you suggesting this?

@Titianblue

the sad thing is, I bet there are people trying to justify homophobia and racism with “well, a gay bullied me” or ” a black person hurt my feeling once”

Fade
Fade
11 years ago

I want the record to show I didn’t read Marie’s comment before posting XD

kittehserf
11 years ago

@juliebreeze:

But as a self identified feminist woman for about 17 years the unique divide between a man and woman may be a bit different than other divided I am not sure.

What unique divide? That sounds like gender essentialism. You do know that differences within the groups called men and women are far bigger than differences between them, don’t you? Whether it’s physical or mental, the whole “men are like this, women are like that” is rubbish. The data simply doesn’t support it.

As hellkell said (ninjaing me by hours, again!) these guys hate women, feminist or not, and the idea of “feminist outreach” for them is laughable. It goes back to the racism thing: would you suggest an outreach group for PoC to reach the KKK? You’re implying that feminists just haven’t been clear enough, or maybe even nice enough to get through to misogynists. Fuck that noise, indeed. These alleged adults can fuckingwell comprehend things if they want to, but they are willfully ignorant and choose to paint themselves as victims, all because they have some of the power they had over women’s lives.

Feminism has been around for decades just since the second wave, and these gobshites choose to misunderstand or ignore everything it says. How simply does it have to be put for them? What the fuck sort of “outreach” do you think is going to get through to men who complain that they aren’t allowed to “train” and “discipline” women exactly as they would a dog? (Read “abuse” since they’re all about punishment.)

These guys have nothing to offer. They’re utter misogynists. They praise mass murderers (Lepine, Sodini) who targeted women. They praise the idea of bombing courthouses to intimidate judges into punishing women for daring to leave abusive relationships. These men aren’t worth a bucket of cold spit.

@titianblue – exactly what I was thinking this morning. Does anyone, ever, say that PoC should go out and date racists just to show them how wrong they are, to help them heal and grow and give them the “opportunity” to get over their racism?

No, they fucking do not. But women, oh, well, we’re supposed to give up our chances of happiness and our physical safety sucking the dicks of being sweet and lovely to misogynists, so they’ll change their ways.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Twin hive mind alert!!

“2) idk that whole sentence starting with the ‘man and woman’ bs seems very cis/hetero sexist and I can’t put my finger on why. Thoughts, regulars?”

1) I prefer to be refered to as neither a man nor a woman, so I’ve just been nixed from that statement entirely
2) a fair portion of women have perfectly satisfying sex lives without a man being involved, and vice versa
3) the implication of PiV being what everyone wants

For bonus fail — women need men (like fish need bicycles XD)

kittehserf
11 years ago

That should have read “all because they have lost some of the power they had over women’s lives. ” Oh well, at least there were no html disasters that time. 😛

kittehserf
11 years ago

Argenti, have you bought bicycles for your fishies yet? Because of course they need them, and if you fail the Fishinati, I dread to think of the consequences.

OT I introduced the concept of the Furrinati at a family picnic yesternight. Picture if you can Cardinal Richelieu wiping tears from his eyes ‘cos he was laughing so hard. (It was a Furrinati picnic: all the cats and dogs came!)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

You know, I was thinking of asking if anyone had seen any tiny plastic bicycles. I think puff would be amused by such a thing, particularly if he could make the wheel turn.

Marie
11 years ago

This whole ‘people wouldn’t say POC should do ‘x” thing is really rubbing me the wrong way, cuz like it seems like people do? And it also seems like kind of any intentionality fail? Like idk if I’m making any sense here, since I’m not 100% sure what I don’t like about the analogy, but it’s just rubbing me the wrong way and I wanted to throw that out there.

Marie
11 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri

1) I prefer to be refered to as neither a man nor a woman, so I’ve just been nixed from that statement entirely
2) a fair portion of women have perfectly satisfying sex lives without a man being involved, and vice versa
3) the implication of PiV being what everyone wants

Thanks for managing to articulate it 🙂 Idk why but for some reason it feels like my brain cannot do words today.