Have you ever wondered what makes crabby old ladies crabby? Maybe they’re having a bad day? Maybe younger people are being rude to them and they’re speaking up for themselves? Maybe they’ve always been crabby? Maybe they’ve lived a long life and don’t give a shit what people think of them any more?
According to Sunshine Mary — “Christian, wife, mother, and anti-feminist” — the real problem is feminism.
And she’s got proof!
In a blog post today titled The coarsening effect of feminism on elderly women she tells the horrifying story of how she personally witnessed some crankiness from an old lady while she was innocently going about her business shopping for groceries and silently judging other people:
As I approached the milk cooler, I observed an elderly woman, probably in her late seventies, and her husband, who was probably around eighty. The woman was wearing brown pants that appeared to be Carhartts and rainbow colored sneakers; she looked ridiculous. I have been noticing lately that even elderly women’s appearance has worsened; they often wear their hair in short, mannish styles, as opposed to the short but feminine style that elderly women used to wear, and they seem to be wearing men’s clothing now.
Ok, so far the only crabby person here seems to be Sunshine Mary herself, working herself into a lather over an elderly woman’s short hair and rainbow-colored sneakers.
But wait! Sunshine Mary continues with her tale of terror in the dairy aisle:
As I stood patiently nearby waiting to access the milk cooler, I eavesdropped on the elderly couple’s conversation. I didn’t hear what the man had said, but the old woman was responding harshly with a nasty look on her face as she complained, “I want it, and I am going to get it. I need to because you don’t take me shopping enough!” They shuffled off down the aisle, she still crabbing and he pushing the cart silently.
I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT A WOMAN DEMANDING TO GET THE KIND OF YOGURT OR WHATEVER THE FUCK IT WAS THAT SHE WANTED TO GET, EVEN THOUGH HER HUSBAND FOR SOME REASON APPARENTLY THOUGHT SHE SHOULDN’T GET IT, ACTUALLY WHY WOULD THAT BE ANY OF his business why am I yelling?
Sunshine Mary wonders what kind of world could create crabby old ladies like this:
I thought about her unfeminine appearance and harsh behavior and also recalled … an article about how elderly women are divorcing and engaging in online dating and casual sex, resulting in a sharp increase in sexually transmitted diseases among the elderly, and I wondered…What has happened to our older women? Why have they become so unfeminine? Why do they revel in exhibiting coarse behavior and using foul language?
Elderly women didn’t use to be like this.
Huh. I’s sort of stuck on the sexually transmitted diseases thing, because unless all these old ladies have become lesbians — and I’m pretty sure Sunshine Mary would have said something about that if that were the case — then these evil sex-having, STD-spreading old ladies are having sex with, and spreading STDs with, sex-having, STD-spreading men. So why is it that the ladies are the ones getting all the blame?
Also, how did we get from cranky old ladies in the dairy aisle to sexy old ladies having sex?
Anyway, as proof that old ladies used to be nothing but sugar and spice, Sunshine Mary posts a picture of her grandmother in 1974, and she does indeed seem to be a very nice granny. Apparently she never swore or talked about sex, at least not in the vicinity of Sunshine Mary.
And apparently Sunshine Mary’s great-grandmother was a very nice lady as well — even though she worked outside the home!
So why are the old ladies of today such evil, crabby, yogurt-demanding monsters?
Oh, yeah, that’s right: feminism.
The women who are in their seventies now would have been young women when second wave feminism took off in the early 1970s, and it shows. There are exceptions, of course, but in general they are far more coarse and unfeminine than the previous generation, and this is almost certainly due to the influence of feminism. …
Feminism was supposed to empower women, but instead it has turned all women into mere sex objects; all they bring of worth now is their sexuality, and when their youth fades, they have nothing left of value to offer.
Uh, since when has feminism been all about turning women into nothing but sex objects?
This is why we see old women either pathetically trying to look like a caricature of a young, sexy woman or just giving up and looking like old men. If you have nothing beyond your sexuality to offer, if you have built no lasting family, if you have chucked your husband and devoted most of your life to a career, then you end up with no feminine dignity for anyone to celebrate.
Yeah, it’s not like having an interesting and/or accomplished life is worth celebrating.
We women who are not yet elderly need to think about this and consider our own conduct, language, and appearance. What kind of elderly women do we hope to be someday? The type who are desperately clinging to the hope that they are sexxxxay and hip in their dotage, looking and behaving just as crass as the younger women?
Sorry to break it to you, Sunshine, but when people live longer lives, their sex lives last longer as well. I don’t know if you realize this, but people you think are too old, or too unattractive, or too whatever to be having sex … are having sex all the time. That couple you saw in the grocery store may have had sex for three hours as soon as they got home. They may have even worked the yogurt into it.
I know that I don’t want to be that way. I hope that I will be more like my grandmother and great-grandmother – a dignified, feminine, woman who is both respectable and respected, who takes care of her family and does not embarrass them with outrageously coarse behavior.
Don’t worry, Sunshine. You’re already plenty embarrassing.
Maybe if they’re really think pantaloons?
(That word will never stop being funny.)
I guess you poke the area after you smack them hard and if your partner says “OW”, it means you’re doing it right?
For the LOLZ:
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/88/64/96/88649631d91ac1e38dc6b99107cacb9f.jpg
Scandalous! :O
😛
I really wish I could unlearn that CDD and crotchless pantaloons existed.
Maybe I’m a horrible person, but the crotchless pantaloons will be making me snicker for a good while yet.
Okay, what the shit – this silly, bitter woman is complaining about slutty old ladies while she talks about her panties and being spanked on the internet!?
Also, on grannies; my late grandmother was the greatest person the world. She was one of those sweet, gentle old women who never raised her voice or swore (she actually thought the “f word” was “fart.” I’m serious). She cooked, baked, sewed, and took care of 7 children and later, my grandpa when he had emphysema. And know what, Mary, you asshole? She lived her whole life on a dirty little farm that didn’t even have running water or electricity for almost of her life. So excuse her for wearing smelly old plaid shirts and boots al the time, and never giving a rat’s fuck what she looked like. She had more important things to worry about.
And know what else? All her children where total freaks. My mom and her siblings were real wild kids back in the day, and all my grandma cared about was that they were happy and safe. She never judged them (or any of us grandkids [or anyone ELSE]) for having weird clothes or wild hair, or in the case of the girls, being rowdy tomboys. So if Sunshine Mary really wants to be a sweet little old lady when she’s older she should work on her crap personality and not be such a fucking… UGH. I won’t use the words I’m thinking of.
Wow, this really made me mad. I hate this woman. I’m going to be the kind of old lady that scares the shit out of old ladies like her.
We should all take a mutual vow to be coarse old ladies who use terrible fucking language whenever they damn well feel like it. Of course, I was planning on doing that anyways…
TBH I’m pretty offended at this whole idea that we all have to become demure old ladies who bow to their husbands’ wishes and don’t wear rainbow sneakers and speak in small voices, because for fuck’s sake, old ladyhood is basically the last and only bastion of unfettered womanhood; ain’t NOBODY gets to tell old people how to behave!
::tilts head thoughtfully::
Of course, if you include the sort of pantaloons worn by men – say, like a certain fellow called Darcy – then that goes right back into sexy territory.
Prolly for a fair few penis-havers too, I’d bet.
@dustydeste
I will sign that contract with my own blood. This woman makes me want to get “fuck you” tattooed on my forehead.
I will never be a coarse old lady, sadly, but I think I can manage cranky old man. I fully plan to horrify the youth of the 2050s with tales of dial-up Internet and antifeminists-who-were-taken-seriously. (Or, if the future turns out less rosy, tales of when you could just go out and BUY food and/or get clean water from the tap. Either way, being coarse and cranky and not giving a damn is what I’m looking forward to.)
Not her, her children! The commenter claimed that if she didn’t want men to lust after HER CHILDREN, she should stop dressing them like whores, and mentions Jodi Foster in Taxi Driver. And if she doesn’t like it she should just stay home.
If she doesn’t like grown men wanting to rape children, SHE SHOULD STAY HOME.
Sunshine Mary, do you not recognize what a disgusting group you’ve aligned yourself with?
(Delurking)
This reminds me of my grandmother. She was a Pentecostal pastor’s kid and then pastor’s wife all her life. The type of Pentecostal that thinks everything fun is a sin. No drinking, smoking, playing cards, dancing and definitely no sex outside of marriage. She had a large collection of big beautiful hats and always dressed well.
She now has dementia or early stage Alzheimer’s. A few years ago my grandfather died and we moved grandma to our town and got her into a nice assisted living place. Mostly she remembers everyone, but she forgets things that happened a few minutes ago. And she gets SO crabby when we remind her or contradict her. Especially if we remind her things like she’s already had five cookies. She doesn’t like to shower or change her clothes and will fight with my mom over it claiming she already did it.
A couple weeks ago her oldest daughter and son in law were visiting and my parents had them, another of my aunts and uncle and my grandmother over for dinner. Well, my grandma apparently didn’t remember her oldest daughter and son in law too well for part of the evening because she spent about an hour flirting with her son in law and making comments about how she saw him first and “that other girl” (her daughter) couldn’t have him! When my mom was taking grandma home, grandma whispered in her son in law’s ear and asked him to come home with her.
I’m pretty sure it wasn’t feminism that caused this.
I’m always confused when people expect senior citizens to act differently than ‘regular’ people – no swearing etc. I mean people have personalities and habits that don’t just suddenly vanish after they hit, say, 65.
I also really, really can’t wrap my head around Sunshine Mary at all. Maybe it’s the manosphere + traditional Christian thing. I skimmed her ‘Creep’ post, and don’t get her commenters either. If it had been, oh, gee, ummm, Rebecca Watson (or another feminist blogger) writing that, the internet would asplode (much as it did for ‘Elevatorgate’ when she said ‘guys, don’t do that’ re: hitting on her in an elevator at 4am). Instead we get some weird ‘god imbued women with wariness around strange men’ crap, some evo-psych, some thanks for not saying all men are rapists, and some truly bizarre blame/shame like above, blaming her children??
I really want some sassy pantaloons!
I think that society expects elderly women to be demure, sweet, and wait on people because women are judged on their looks. Since we have such an ageist society that refuses to see the beauty in old women, old women are then pressured to “compensate” for the end of their youth.
So people feel like if a woman can’t offer youthful looks to her husband, she should “make up for that” by cooking elaborate meals, waiting on him, and having an immaculate home. It’s sad, because she’s afraid that since she can’t be sexy by societal standards, then she could instead bake cookies for everyone and be a caregiver for everyone else until she is too sick and frail to do so.
This has always been the case at all of my extended families’ get togethers and parties. The oldest women spend the most time cooking and cleaning, because they want the younger people to have fun. Now me and other younger women always jump in and help, but I’ve never seen the men, either old or young, even offer help. They just go watch TV and ask grandma to bring them drinks and snacks. So why do so many people feel entitled to have old women do all the work?
Re: crotchless panties
I thought the idea behind them was “Wow, we are so horny, we can’t be bothered to remove our underwear!”. But I don’t understand the nipple bras.
I went through a phase like that. Then I graduated from college.
.
I know. Between the women and the “demographics” (read: brown people who voted for Obama), it’s starting to feel like white men don’t have exclusive control over the direction of this country any more!
As for elderhood: I dearly hope to be some combination of Betty White and Nanny Ogg (in purple). I hope to spend my golden years traveling, wearing whatever I want, and having grand adventures.
I’m not caught up yet, so sorry if this has already been posted, but:
Okay, since so many people are asking…
The crotchless/demi-cup think is pure pandering to the male gaze. The idea is to ‘frame’ those bits of the anatomy that are [supposed to be] most enticing to the guy, while not actually impeding access. It also caters to specific illusions guys are taught to want (like breasts that never, ever sag).
Which in turn makes it clear why they are preferred (by men) over going sans undergarment–a woman who doesn’t wear a bra or panties might just be doing so because she finds them comfortable; a woman wearing crotchless panties, though, is meant to be sending the message that she set out from the beginning of the evening to be seen in them. So it’s a patriarchy-approved mode of female sexual aggression. (And of course, because rape culture, once a woman is found to be wearing such a garment, consent is assumed, so you don’t have to actually ask her if she wants sex. Because Patriarchy means never having to Use Your Words.)
I was under the impression that old women being ‘outspoken’, or even vulgar, was the reward for having lived a lifetime in a society that devalued women. Clearly, women should be free to be outspoken all through their lives, as all right-thinking people now acknowledge. But Moonshine Scary does not agree – except for herself. She is *different * from those naughty ladies.
I am so very glad my mother was an outspoken woman.
Anyone need a colon? I seem to have left a few too many in my first comment.
That must be how she got her name: when she leaves, everything seems so much brighter.
“A vague disclaimer is nobody’s friend” (Willow Rosenberg is another woman I wouldn’t mind being like)
OK, mocking her kinda stopped being funny when I read this. Now I’m wondering if her internalized misogyny is coming from her husband :-/
I don’t see why someone who talks frankly about her sex life (in relative anonymity) can’t also be a modest dresser in her day to day life. Even Christian marriage blogs talk about lingerie and sex tips, it’s just assumed only your husband will be seeing/experiencing them.
I read a (fictional) book by an Orthodox Jewish woman, and her POV character was instructed to turn off the lights, pull her nightgown up only to her waist, while her husband got under her blankets with his shirt on and had sex at her. Then they slept in separate beds. All of which was apparently based off her own experience.
Some people are very invested in the idea that things were better howevermany years ago, when everyone was polite and knew their place, and that we can and should go back to that way of life. Elderly people acting like everyone else threaten that belief.
@cassandrasays
I don’t know, maybe it’s my terrible fashion sense but I”m kinda charmed by those bras.
@ally s
Don’t think you’re overreacting, but don’t know much about CDD, so I can’t give an opinion.
@Baileyrenee
You’re grandma sounds awesome 🙂
Emily, those seniors are all amazing. “Do you want to know what the F stands for?”
I totally agree, all people deserve that! But this whole trying to take it away from old ladies when it’s already been denied them for all their lives is just awful and a huge step back from the progress we should be making as a society. If it can’t even be had as a “reward,” how can we expect to have it as a right?
You need to feel bad for SSM. She posted at Dalrock that her dad used to abuse her mom to the point that police were called. Her view of what makes male/female relationships work is skewed.
Oh, and an addendum to the above. Asking “Why would anyone wear X?” is tricky, because there’s tons of possible answers, some of which are even perfectly reasonable. For sexy underwear, most of the same answers that you’d hear about “Why do women wear high heels?” apply, including (but most certainly not limited to):
1: Because they’ve been pressured into doing so;
2: Because they’ve been culturally acclimated into thinking that’s what they’re supposed to do;
3: Because they know they appeal to a particular person or group of people that they actually want to appeal to/entice;
4: Because they happen to like how they look in them, and thus, don’t really give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks. (See also: Rainbow Shoes)
1 & 2 are deeply problematic reasons, at best. 3 is generally fine, so long as there’s no attempt to overcome aversion, and no pressure involved. I trust no one here has a problem with 4.