Categories
alpha males bad boys beta males creepy evo psych fairy tales grandiosity men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny ovaries penises PUA vaginas

Is that an egg in your ovary or are you just happy to see me?

These gals are totally ovulating, for sure.
These gals are totally ovulating, for sure.

So over on MPUAForum.com the other day, some of the aspiring master seducers were dicsussing ovulation. You know, like guys do.

No, they haven’t suddenly developed a genuine interest in the literal inner workings of women. It’s just that they think knowing a bit about ovulation will help them get laid. Because according to the tenets of something called Peak Ovulation Theory,

girls will fuck with the bad boy during peak ovulation and the rest of the menstrual cycle, they will get it on with the nice guys.

So … if your style of game is the bad boy vibe, you’ll get to fuck the girl at her horniest days.

Don’t worry: it’s all very scientific. They have studies and everything.

Indeed, we’ve discussed this topic before, and suggested a little mnemonic device to help pickup artists remember that the ladies will be especially open to game when they’re ovulating:

When she’s gettin’ eggy, it’s time to neggy

The only real problem is being able to tell at a glance if a woman is ovulating or not before you lay down your bad boy vibe on her. In other words: how do you fine tune your Ovuladar?

A site moderator with the slightly puzzling nickname poeticlyskuac offered these thoughts:

I don’t look for signs of ovulation… I look for signs a girl is dtf… this could be during ovulation but the point is girls counterfeit the same signals  …

studies show girls in some areas genuinely show less clothes during that time of the month especially during the day …

Movement is also something to pay attention to as women who are seeking sexual attention move accordingly … also a woman near ovulation will have clearer skin…

Ok, so if I understand this correctly, a woman who is ovulating, or maybe just horny, will be sashaying around practically naked. And she won’t have pimples.

The point is to look for behavioral patterns… certain things are going to be easy to detect… Other things such as skin redness… pupil size will be harder to tell but they aren’t impossible in a properly lit environment…

Wait. Is the skin supposed to be red or not? Just how big are the pupils supposed to be?

Most women are clueless to the 48 hrs they are ovulating… absolutely clueless.. Very few women know and feel their eggs dropping… Rare ones do and it can be quite painful if you are one of those that detect it… I would never ask a woman if she was ovulation because it’ll be a waste of time…

Also, I’m guessing she might give you this look:

Hellhound offered a simpler way to tell if a woman is ovulating: does she give you a boner? Let’s let him explain the science behind what we might call the Ovuladar in Your Pants.

Men are genetically wired to be providers and protectors while women are genetically wired to be nurturers. When men get horny with a particular woman who makes their dick hard, they have a tendency to spend more money on this woman and become overly protective and jealous. …

Moreover, when your dick gets hard, you are more likely to give women favors. When a woman asks you for favors, note that this behavior is mostly made in an unconscious, instinctive manner, she is actually trying to determine if your dick is getting rock hard for her. Why? …

In simple terms, the woman is genetically probing if you’ll be a good provider to her. Subconsciously, she is testing the hardness of your dick. Since your cock remains hidden inside your pants, she has to instinctively know if your dick gets hard for her by asking you to buy her a drink.

Ok, now that we’ve determined that your boner is a bit of a spendthrift when it comes to boner-inspiring ladies, what does this have to do with ovulation? Hellhound offers a video which presumably explains this all. I didn’t watch it, but let’s just assume that his SCIENCE is as tight as his pants. So on we go to his conclusion:

In summary, for the first indicator of peak ovulation, when your dick gets throbbing rock hard for a hot woman and you get the itch to buy her a drink or coffee, even when she’s not asking you for it, she is likely to be fertile.

Ok, but how do you tell for sure? Luckily for us, Hellhound has some suggestions that seem as ROCK SOLID as his you know what.

You will have a persistent hard on … with a fertile woman. To verify if she’s on her peak ovulation period and aroused enough with your hard on, give her some of these compliance tests:

1. Can I have some of these? However, I left my wallet at home. (Pause and wait if she’ll give you items for free) or…

2. Can I have some of these? I’ll pay you later/tomorrow because I forgot to bring my wallet. (If she complies, you’re good.)

3. I wanted to cook [name recipe here] but I don’t know how… (Pause and then bait her if she’ll volunteer. When she volunteers, isolate to your place. When you’re feeling bold, ask her to buy some of the ingredients.)

A woman’s arousal will escalate when you notice that she keeps on looking at your cock and her ear lobes turn red. This is also a good time for aggressive kino but don’t grab her ass or boobies in public. Isolate.

A woman with red ears who gives you things amd looks at your dick probably likes you. Check. Don’t grab her boobs or butt in public. Check.

Learning about science is fun!

A fellow by the name of Melodical, meanwhile, offers some scientific evidence of his own:

Although it hasn’t been studied in depth there is a school of thought that suggest that a woman at her peak sexual receptivity is more likely to wear the colour red at this time.

Remember the old saying “Red shoes, no knickers”

Most signs of sexual availability in the animal kingdom involve a female displaying red in some form or another, maybe there is still a hardwired neural behaviour in women to do still display this.

But not everyone in the thread has been completely convinced by Peak Ovulation Theory. SexAddict91 offered anecdotal evidence that some women are actually hornier during shark week than egg days:

In my experience, a woman’s horniest days are just before or during menstration. I’ve heard and seen it too many times from women for this not to be true. I’m not just talking an average level of horny, I’m talking super and aggressive horny.

But he’s open to evidence that challenges his observations.

If science does not support this, my only other logical conclusion is that they are horny throughout the cycle or at peek ovulation but because just before or during flow time they really can’t have sex even when enticed, it becomes much more relevant in their memory. ( as in, they want sex more because they can’t have it)

TheFury, meanwhile, argued that Peak Ovulation Theory is not particularly useful for pickup artists as a practical matter, responding to Hellhound with this less-than-supportive comment:

All this shit is worthless in practice as I have said 100x and said again here. Anyways, you are clearly a delusional idiot, keep sniffing women’s panties and measuring their skin temperature.

In a followup comment he added,

It is clear that I am right and that women being ovulating has little practical relevance for a PUA. Much more relevant is when a woman is having her period because many men won’t sleep with her then or she will be too embarrassed to sleep with you on her period. That is actually practical. This garbage is not. Plain and simple. …

Bottom line, you clearly do not know the difference between practical and statistically significant/some garbage someone wrote in an abstract or some tiny difference observed in a study. The most likely reason for this is that you have no actual experience with women other than watching porno and reading studies or jerking off to studies about ovulation, because if you had experience with women you would know nothing you linked to has almost any practical implication.

But how can anyone doubt such clear and incontrovertible data for Peak Ovulation as this chart here, posted to the discussion by Hellhound himself?

Gangestad et al Scatter Plot

That’s the kind of SCIENCE that gives Pickup Artists boners.

NOTE: I found my way to this wondrous discussion through a tweet from PUA.txt on Twitter, an account that regularly posts ridiculous real quotes from ridiculous real PUAs. It’s an account that’s well worth following if you’re on Twitter!

222 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
kittehserf
11 years ago

Yeah, I was thinking of a spill or worse on said crotch. Of course it could also be they’re smirking at him for wearing way too tight jeans, or some such thing.

drst
drst
11 years ago

@BigKitty – with due respect to what you’ve been through, when you make pronouncements like this:

“Female” sexual desire (normal people should read this as “women’s”) has 100% to do with the mind and heart of the woman doing the desiring, and the man or woman she feels that desire for. It has 0% to do with ovulation, hormones, the menstrual cycle

You’re not helping. You’re still making sweeping absolute statements about all woman-identifying people, just as the PUA/MRAs are. That you sweeping generalizations are intended to be positive does not change that.

My menstrual cycle and hormones do affect my sexual desires. I want certain types of sex at certain times in the cycle, sometimes. There are a hundred other factors involved in sexual desire, and yes the mind is “the most important sexual organ” (I believe that was Dr. Ruth’s comment) but physical and biological factors MAY be involved for some of us as well. I get what you’re attempting to say, but you’re erasing the experiences of women that happen to differ from yours in your attempt, which is not cool.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Maybe she’s thinking “dude, if you’re going to sag your jeans then at least wear sexier undies”. Or would it just be me being that picky?

I totally look at men’s crotches if I’m attracted. I look at their chests and legs and hips, too. Kind of hard to look at the ass if you’re talking to them, but hey, I’m resourceful.

Not going to look at any of those things on a creeper who’s busy trying to “kino escalate”, because I’ll be far more interested in finding either security or the exit.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Quackers — besides puff needing a fishie laxative (though apparently it looks worse than it is since he’s eating fine), nothing much interesting in the fish department. Which is always good 🙂

The danios are having a feeding frenzy over some bloodworms, and other such cuteness, but nothing out of the ordinary. And puff discovered the inside of the Greek column thing (I think it’s supposed to be the panthenon, but it fails)…and then had to be coaxed out for dinner as someone tried swimming straight up and couldn’t figure out that it has a ceiling. He’s cute, but apparently a bit dumb when he has food on the brain. I mean, he is smaller than a grape still, so his brain is what, the size of a smallish seed? …which makes him surprisingly bright I guess, as he knew perfectly well that he had to follow the pipette to get his dinner.

BigKitty
BigKitty
11 years ago

I didn’t get a welcome package, and I’d love to get one. Thanks!

kittehserf
11 years ago

Behold, one Manboobz Complimentary Welcome Package!

(If you’re ever looking for it, click on the Artistry for Feminism. And Kittens. link in the sidebar; there’s a link to the package on cloudiah’s home page.)

BigKitty
BigKitty
11 years ago

You’re not helping. You’re still making sweeping absolute statements about all woman-identifying people, just as the PUA/MRAs are. That you sweeping generalizations are intended to be positive does not change that.

My menstrual cycle and hormones do affect my sexual desires. I want certain types of sex at certain times in the cycle, sometimes. There are a hundred other factors involved in sexual desire, and yes the mind is “the most important sexual organ” (I believe that was Dr. Ruth’s comment) but physical and biological factors MAY be involved for some of us as well. I get what you’re attempting to say, but you’re erasing the experiences of women that happen to differ from yours in your attempt, which is not cool.

Sorry, drst. I have been there, done that, and vividly remember how my menstrual cycle and hormones affected my sexual desire. That was then. I am not attempting to speak for all women. I am – as I think I made very clear – a post-menopausal woman who has undergone surgery to remove my ovaries.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Totally OT but all you Pratchett fans, look at this!

jenphalian
jenphalian
11 years ago

Apologies if I’m repeating, didn’t have a chance to read through all the comments here, but…

OMG, “isolate”? The repeated instruction to isolate sounds so very rapey. Ick.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Random, but it’s bugging me. People with ovaries (that contain eggs, since I suppose it’s possible to have ovaries that don’t produce eggs at all)…they always have eggs in them. It should be more like “is that an egg leaving your ovary?”

/pedantry

Alice Sanguinaria
Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

Argenti – Does that mean we need to relabel ovulating test kits now?

Sale: “egg-leaving-ovary” test kits! Check to see when you’re at your most fertile, so that you can procure children at the right time!

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

The is OT, but the top picture is as cute as hell 😀

Although it hasn’t been studied in depth there is a school of thought that suggest that a woman at her peak sexual receptivity is more likely to wear the colour red at this time.

Oh shit that’s too funny XD though according to this my sister is more fertile than me because she wears red much more often.

@Wereterrier

Hi and welcome! 😀

@bigkitty

Hi 🙂

@quackers

As silly as it sounds, it’s the internet that gets me paranoid sometimes. If my life was exactly the same but I only used internet for email, I wouldn’t have thought such ideas still existed.

I’d be more sad if I did. I don’t know many feminist irl, and hanging around feminist/feminist friendly spaces on the interwebs really helped me articulate what sexist shit my dad does so I could go HEY DO NOT DO THAT THING ANYMORE instead of just awkwardly not knowing why I was bugged, which actually improved my relationship with him bundles.

xenologer
xenologer
11 years ago

I should have known better than to try to eat while I read this. A dangerous mistake.

karak
karak
11 years ago

Women nearing ovulation don’t have clearer skin–that’s when a lot of women break out. For fuck’s sake.

kittehserf
11 years ago

xenologer – choking, or splorking food on the keyboard?

::offers sympathetic virtual backpats::

Alice Sanguinaria
Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

karak – if that’s the case, then maybe it’s a good thing, so that they don’t accidentally beget kids?

La Strega
11 years ago

Ew. This reminded me of a guy (a vet of all things) who swore he could “smell” when a woman was ovulating. He was once tried to seduce me by telling me how he got his pigs aroused before artificially inseminating them. GROSS.

Alice Sanguinaria
Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

La Strega – EWWW

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@la strega

O_o um…wow.

pecunium
11 years ago

What the fuck did I just read? It’s often I feel a PUA/MRA text sucked some of my brain cells from my skull, but I think I am stupider now than I was before I read this.

pecunium
11 years ago

I mean seriously… women can’t have sex during their periods? News to me. S’true that women I know tell me when they are having their periods if we are having sex (unless we are in a situation where they expect me to be aware of their cycle) because it might affect what we do (e.g. a towel might be in order), but not have sex?

Whyever not?

Alice Sanguinaria
Alice Sanguinaria
11 years ago

pecunium – I think it’s related to the fact that women are taught to be ashamed and terrified of their menses, which causes them to not really be comfortable with having their partner seeing them bleed. It’s weird like that.

To be fair to those women, I wouldn’t want to have a PUA know when I’m bleeding either. 😛

La Strega
11 years ago

Yeah, I wouldn’t want a PUA (or a bear or a shark) to know either.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Possible TMI:

There are days during it when I wouldn’t want to, whether because it’s heavy, and/or I’ve cramps that go from about waist level to ankles, and/or I’ve simply no energy, and/or I’m feeling chafed and sore from having to have pants and pads 24/7. But those are just physical discomforts that put me off my stride, not a sense of shame.

PJ
PJ
11 years ago

Whenever I read about PUAs I always picture them like this