Also, I want to try and talk about my upcoming trip to rig vistage with folks, but I also don’t want to break up the serious conversation going on here. <.< I have a forum post and on my blog, I’ve got my itinerary, but I don’t know if folks are more comfortable there or what.
LBT — you going to be around tomorrow or Friday? Pecunium and I will be in the same room and sorting the details of your keyboard repair might be easier that way? Though I’m not sure we need sorting besides if he’s meeting us in the city or what…idk, I’m tired and shit.
I hoped you’d comment, Rogan; I wondered if it’d be a bit like that for you and Mac. The imbalance for Louis and me isn’t horrible behaviour from my mother; it’s just the sheer weight of years. If he’d been as he was in his earthly days, there’d be the difference of experience, but I’d still feel like I had stuff to bring that he’d not experienced or felt or whatever. But because he has so long healed of all that, and had so much time to do and learn other things, it’s hard to believe I’m adding anything. Which is stupid, ‘cos I “know” I am, and he’s said so often enough.
Like, this morning he said I’ve taught him the joy of words. It seemed so strange. During his earthly days he was as silent as he could get away with, except with the few people very close to him. He had a bad stammer and lifelong embarassment about it; nor did he like reading at all, though his job demanded a hell of a lot of reading and correspondence. He used to apologise to Richelieu for not wording his letters eloquently.
So – if we’d got together when he was still at that stage, and he’d picked up something of a fondness for wordplay and reading and the like from me, I could understand it. But that it still happened so recently, despite the earthly inhibitions and problems being so long gone, throws me off balance, sort of. Not in a bad way, of course! It’s just hard to fathom, even though looking back to when we were first in contact a few years ago, he didn’t want to use verbal language much; he was trying to get me to understand the more direct, wordless language of Spirit, but figured out that it was easier for him to revert (even in an earthly language he never spoke, ie. English) than for my mind to process wordless ideas, since I had to put ’em into words anyway.
I’m not at all sure where I’m going with this, I just need to get it out, instead of Louis and me trying to figure it out all over again.
Ally – Are you rooming off campus for your first year? Because I highly doubt that you’re definitively going to get Islamic roommates if you’re in on-campus housing (unless you chose your roommate, but still. I don’t know if you guys have suites or floors; at my school we had suites but I know Berkeley has the traditional floors.).
Also, not everyone drinks in college! I don’t and I’m not Muslim. I have friends that do, but even though I’ve been tempted, I’m happy to wait/abstain.
If it makes things easier, you should find some friends who also don’t use drugs. I have a Jewish friend who doesn’t by choice (and I think for religious reasons). They’re not too hard to find.
To clarify, I only said I agreed with him because I wanted him to stop lecturing me. =P For the record, I’m non-Muslim and I’ve already some drugs, including alcohol and weed. He just still thinks I’m a Muslim.
Oh, dear, I didn’t even answer your question! Sorry.
I don’t think I’ll be staying on campus. I don’t have enough money, and if I choose a non-Muslim roommate, my father will probably withdraw all of his financial support.
@Kitteh
even though it’s not all coming from your father, everything you describe in those negative feelings about yourself is learned behaviour. It’s all been instilled by other people’s bullying, so the same thing applies.
I get what you say about the weighting, as it were – them in person (not “in real life!” This is real life and real people too) will automatically have more impact than us who are words on a screen. I was talking purely about numbers of people involved.
Also, I’d guess your father contributed more than “indirectly” to your social anxiety and low self esteem. Growing up with an abusive parent would have to be a huge factor.
Yeah, you’re right. I made a mistake in saying that he only indirectly ruined my self-esteem. I can recall several clear instances in which he made me feel worthless and frightened – not as just some side consequence but as a direct consequence. He has a thing for making people feel like only he has a say in things. And yet he has the nerve to portray himself as caring and selfless. In fact, that’s another thing he said today: “I’m telling you all of this because I care about you!”
And I don’t like the “in real life” distinction, either. XD I suppose “AFK” (away from keyboard) is a better phrase/acronym.
Ah, that makes sense. Have you found housing for the school year yet? After all, classes start next week (oh shit and I don’t even know my schedule yet!).
Well, it’s still not too late for me to get housing, but since the cheapest arrangement is like $1000 per month, I don’t think I can afford it. I’ll just have to commute from San Jose, which is where I currently live (with my father, some of my siblings, and my step-mother). It’s a very long ride on the bus, but fortunately my schedule is easy to work with, so I’ll probably be way early for all of my classes.
HM
11 years ago
This isn’t personal so much as being off the particular topic of other threads but holy CRAP I looked at the MGTOW forums for the first time ever and it’s like bleedin’ Stormfront in there.
Ally – Roommates are awesome in that regard. Where I go to school, if I rented my own apartment, it’s going to cost me at least 2 grand a month. With roommates, I pay $525 a month (which is what I’m doing for this school year).
But if you can commute, that’s good too. You might want to see if there’s a program that either subsidizes or reduces your bus fare, since commuting’s expensive. I have a bus sticker that lets me take the city bus to campus for free (at the moment), and there’s also a campus shuttle that has a stop near where I (will) live. Plus I could bike to class, which means exercise.
OK. The recipe book arrived! Anyone who still has plums and wants a few jars of Chinese plum sauce in the cupboard ….
2 apples – peeled, cored, chopped
4 tablespoons water
……………………………
500g (1lb) ripe red plums
1 cup (8oz) sugar
4 tablespoons white wine vinegar
2 chillies, chopped
1 tablespoon Szechuan peppercorns
Put the apples in the pan with the water and cook until the apples are soft. (The …….. indicates that I put the apples on to cook and then get on with the other measuring and preparing and put the jars through the dishwasher or oven.)
Add the rest of the ingredients and bring to the boil. Turn down to a simmer and cook for a half hour or more until the whole thing is reduced to a pulp. Put through a sieve to remove plum stones and other bits.
Ladle into jars and seal. This quantity should make 3 cups.
(I wouldn’t know. I’ve only made 2 kg type quantities.)
Pickled plums for those who’ve never thought about pickled fruit.
1 kg (2 lbs) plums, stalks removed
2 cups (10 oz) brown sugar (I use dark brown)
3 cups red wine vinegar
1 cinnamon stick
2 cloves
1 teaspoon peppercorns
5 cardamom pods
Prick the plums eight times with a skewer*.
Prepare the jars.
Put all the other ingredients into a pan and bring to a boil. Simmer for 10 minutes after the sugar is fully dissolved.
Meanwhile, pack the plums into the warm, sterilised jars.
Allow the syrup to cool a little, then pour over the plums to cover and seal.**
*This is really tedious when you’re bottling 4 or more kilos. I stick 4 darning needles into a cork, then I only pop each plum twice.
** At which point you give thanks that you thought to buy that steel jam funnel. If you don’t have a jam funnel, I strongly recommend transferring the syrup from the pan into a jug. Much easier to control than a ladle or a cup. Not burning any skin off your hands and not having to scrub out deep red stains from spills is just a bonus.
The writer recommends serving these with meat in winter. The other thing I like to do is just chuck a couple into a slow cooked casserole, the plums disappear but the gravy/ sauce turns dark and rich.
(My favouritest pickled fruit is pickled pear. Won.der.ful with cheese or in a chicken salad.)
Marie
11 years ago
@Ally S
Your dad sounds super icky. 🙁 Internet hugs, if you want them.
Thanks, Marie. I’m used to him being like that, but it’s still overwhelming and scary. It’s even worse when he violates my personal space when arguing with me e.g. he hovers around me and makes sure I don’t walk away from him. Thankfully we were in the car most of the time when he was arguing with me yesterday.
Speaking of him, he also confirmed yesterday that he’s going to keep a close eye on me while I’m attending UCSC. He said “I know your sister doesn’t want to move here because she won’t be allowed to have the lifestyle she wants.” (By “lifestyle” he means not being Islamic, having non-marital relationships, and interacting frequently with strange men.) What that means for me is that, if I try to live a “lifestyle” he doesn’t approve of, he’ll make sure that I won’t be able to.
I’ve already deduced that he’s going to try to control me while I’m at UCSC, but now he has admitted that himself. *sigh*
Ally, all the hugs you need. That’s completely fucked up.
thebionicmommy
11 years ago
I do have an update already from my mom. She and dad attended a dialysis meeting today to learn about her options. It turns out she will have to choose dialysis anyway, because Medicare covers dialysis for as long as necessary. It covers a transplant surgery, but then only covers anti rejection drugs for three years. She can’t pay herself after that so anyone who can’t pay can’t get a kidney. (By the way, lobbyists from the dialysis industry are behind this rule)
She is also not well enough physically for the surgery, and the risks of lowering her immune system with anti rejection drugs. Transplant doctors only want to operate on those they believe will live longer so that organs will extend the most life. Mom and dad both told me it was a noble thought that I want to give her a kidney, but that it’s just not meant to be. I told her my offer is always open if things change and she wants it.
So now I know how it is and I can come to accept it. From the way the nurse talked, dialysis is much better nowadays than it was in the past. Mom can do it at home while she sleeps, she can bring her machine with her if she spends a weekend in Branson, and she’ll have an access port in her stomach so she won’t have constant needles to deal with. I’d still rather her live in Joplin, but she and dad won’t hear any of that.
I’m so sorry that you and your mother going through all of that, bionicmommy. =[ I hope the dialysis goes well for your mother. Much hugs for you and your mother if you two want them.
thebionicmommy
11 years ago
Thank you, Ally. That is very sweet. And I’m sorry for all you’re going through. *hugs back*
You have likely already found out by now that the answer was no. <.< Sorry, I've been completely blitzed with last-minute social engagements, packing shit into boxes, appointments, and other crap.
RE: Kittehs
I hoped you’d comment, Rogan; I wondered if it’d be a bit like that for you and Mac.
It’s a bit different; Mac died when he was twenty-seven, so there wasn’t a huge experience gap. He also seems to have less tolerance for trauma than I do, which he feels bad over. It’s just that I’m so used to taking care of the system that I forget that to him, it’s a big deal.
Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago
@Bionicmommy: Sounds great that she can do it at home, and bring the machine on travel etc. I didn’t know either that dialysis was like that nowadays.
I gotta tell you about this complete asshole I met the other day at the hardware store. I was ordering some stuff they didn’t have at the store, and the staff asked me for my name when taking my order. So I gave them my name which is a typically female one. A man who had been waiting in line behind me then went:
– So your name is X, then you CAN’T BE A MAN AFTER ALL!
– Um, no.
– You see, I totally thought you were a man because LOOK AT YOU but then I heard that your name was X and I thought to myself that if the name is X then it can’t be a man after all DESPITE APPEARANCES.
– Um, right.
(I was dressed in a man’s jacket and a shirt, but I had lots of makeup and big dangling earrings…)
It wasn’t until after I had finished placing my order and walked away that it fully struck me how terribly rude he had been… I really should have called him out on his shitty behaviour, but as I said, didn’t quite realize until afterwards. I was focused on that “placing my order” business, plus I do try to build a more masculine body shape, so someone thinking that I might be a man in makeup and jewellery is sort of a compliment to how this project is going. BUT seriously, complete FAIL there at social competence 101.
But I guess I’ll better get used to this (and have some snappy comebacks prepared) if I’m gonna keep up my “building a more masculine body shape” project.
thebionicmommy
11 years ago
@Dvarg,
That guy sounds awful. I know what you mean that it’s hard to just come up with witty comebacks on the spot. I’ve also had times when I’m so got by what someone says, I can’t say anything back at all. An hour later, I can think of all sorts of clever comebacks but it’s too late by then.
And why are so many people hung up on the way other people dress and look? They need to learn the art of minding their own business.
Last night, I was trying to eat this shitty fast food. Eventually I had to stop eating because I felt sick and because my stomach felt like it was full of acid. I also happened to be thinking very negative and anxious thoughts. I told my brother that I wasn’t feeling well, so he gave me these digestive pills that don’t seem to have any side-effects – at least not on the bottle.
I tried to lie down for a while, and then I began vomiting profusely. Each heave I had was followed by my back arching very abruptly. I didn’t see any blood in my vomit, thankfully, but after a while I became so fatigued that I almost passed out – I was having these paranoid visions of needing to go to the emergency room and whatnot. I couldn’t sleep until 4 AM just because I had to keep getting up to vomit.
And just a few minutes ago I was at the toilet – again – trying to vomit. And I vomited a large amount of yellow bile. My body still feels shaken and fatigued. But fortunately, after drinking some water and vomiting more, I feel a lot better.
I’m sure the food I was eating contributed to my sickness, but more than anything I felt very stressed out and anxious about many things, particularly the future.
We Hunted The Mammoth
RE: Kittehs
Has anyone else had a hard time internalising the idea that they really do bring things to a relationship, things the other person values?
All the time. Hubby has to give me strong reinforcement otherwise. It helps that given the choice, I’d rather listen to HIS judgment than my folks.
Also, I want to try and talk about my upcoming trip to rig vistage with folks, but I also don’t want to break up the serious conversation going on here. <.< I have a forum post and on my blog, I’ve got my itinerary, but I don’t know if folks are more comfortable there or what.
LBT — you going to be around tomorrow or Friday? Pecunium and I will be in the same room and sorting the details of your keyboard repair might be easier that way? Though I’m not sure we need sorting besides if he’s meeting us in the city or what…idk, I’m tired and shit.
I hoped you’d comment, Rogan; I wondered if it’d be a bit like that for you and Mac. The imbalance for Louis and me isn’t horrible behaviour from my mother; it’s just the sheer weight of years. If he’d been as he was in his earthly days, there’d be the difference of experience, but I’d still feel like I had stuff to bring that he’d not experienced or felt or whatever. But because he has so long healed of all that, and had so much time to do and learn other things, it’s hard to believe I’m adding anything. Which is stupid, ‘cos I “know” I am, and he’s said so often enough.
Like, this morning he said I’ve taught him the joy of words. It seemed so strange. During his earthly days he was as silent as he could get away with, except with the few people very close to him. He had a bad stammer and lifelong embarassment about it; nor did he like reading at all, though his job demanded a hell of a lot of reading and correspondence. He used to apologise to Richelieu for not wording his letters eloquently.
So – if we’d got together when he was still at that stage, and he’d picked up something of a fondness for wordplay and reading and the like from me, I could understand it. But that it still happened so recently, despite the earthly inhibitions and problems being so long gone, throws me off balance, sort of. Not in a bad way, of course! It’s just hard to fathom, even though looking back to when we were first in contact a few years ago, he didn’t want to use verbal language much; he was trying to get me to understand the more direct, wordless language of Spirit, but figured out that it was easier for him to revert (even in an earthly language he never spoke, ie. English) than for my mind to process wordless ideas, since I had to put ’em into words anyway.
I’m not at all sure where I’m going with this, I just need to get it out, instead of Louis and me trying to figure it out all over again.
Ally – Are you rooming off campus for your first year? Because I highly doubt that you’re definitively going to get Islamic roommates if you’re in on-campus housing (unless you chose your roommate, but still. I don’t know if you guys have suites or floors; at my school we had suites but I know Berkeley has the traditional floors.).
Also, not everyone drinks in college! I don’t and I’m not Muslim. I have friends that do, but even though I’ve been tempted, I’m happy to wait/abstain.
If it makes things easier, you should find some friends who also don’t use drugs. I have a Jewish friend who doesn’t by choice (and I think for religious reasons). They’re not too hard to find.
@Alice
To clarify, I only said I agreed with him because I wanted him to stop lecturing me. =P For the record, I’m non-Muslim and I’ve already some drugs, including alcohol and weed. He just still thinks I’m a Muslim.
@Alice
Oh, dear, I didn’t even answer your question! Sorry.
I don’t think I’ll be staying on campus. I don’t have enough money, and if I choose a non-Muslim roommate, my father will probably withdraw all of his financial support.
@Kitteh
Yeah, you’re right. I made a mistake in saying that he only indirectly ruined my self-esteem. I can recall several clear instances in which he made me feel worthless and frightened – not as just some side consequence but as a direct consequence. He has a thing for making people feel like only he has a say in things. And yet he has the nerve to portray himself as caring and selfless. In fact, that’s another thing he said today: “I’m telling you all of this because I care about you!”
And I don’t like the “in real life” distinction, either. XD I suppose “AFK” (away from keyboard) is a better phrase/acronym.
Ally – LULZ. Secret’s safe with us. *seals mouth*
Ah, that makes sense. Have you found housing for the school year yet? After all, classes start next week (oh shit and I don’t even know my schedule yet!).
@Alice
Well, it’s still not too late for me to get housing, but since the cheapest arrangement is like $1000 per month, I don’t think I can afford it. I’ll just have to commute from San Jose, which is where I currently live (with my father, some of my siblings, and my step-mother). It’s a very long ride on the bus, but fortunately my schedule is easy to work with, so I’ll probably be way early for all of my classes.
This isn’t personal so much as being off the particular topic of other threads but holy CRAP I looked at the MGTOW forums for the first time ever and it’s like bleedin’ Stormfront in there.
Ally – Roommates are awesome in that regard. Where I go to school, if I rented my own apartment, it’s going to cost me at least 2 grand a month. With roommates, I pay $525 a month (which is what I’m doing for this school year).
But if you can commute, that’s good too. You might want to see if there’s a program that either subsidizes or reduces your bus fare, since commuting’s expensive. I have a bus sticker that lets me take the city bus to campus for free (at the moment), and there’s also a campus shuttle that has a stop near where I (will) live. Plus I could bike to class, which means exercise.
OK. The recipe book arrived! Anyone who still has plums and wants a few jars of Chinese plum sauce in the cupboard ….
2 apples – peeled, cored, chopped
4 tablespoons water
……………………………
500g (1lb) ripe red plums
1 cup (8oz) sugar
4 tablespoons white wine vinegar
2 chillies, chopped
1 tablespoon Szechuan peppercorns
Put the apples in the pan with the water and cook until the apples are soft. (The …….. indicates that I put the apples on to cook and then get on with the other measuring and preparing and put the jars through the dishwasher or oven.)
Add the rest of the ingredients and bring to the boil. Turn down to a simmer and cook for a half hour or more until the whole thing is reduced to a pulp. Put through a sieve to remove plum stones and other bits.
Ladle into jars and seal. This quantity should make 3 cups.
(I wouldn’t know. I’ve only made 2 kg type quantities.)
Pickled plums for those who’ve never thought about pickled fruit.
1 kg (2 lbs) plums, stalks removed
2 cups (10 oz) brown sugar (I use dark brown)
3 cups red wine vinegar
1 cinnamon stick
2 cloves
1 teaspoon peppercorns
5 cardamom pods
Prick the plums eight times with a skewer*.
Prepare the jars.
Put all the other ingredients into a pan and bring to a boil. Simmer for 10 minutes after the sugar is fully dissolved.
Meanwhile, pack the plums into the warm, sterilised jars.
Allow the syrup to cool a little, then pour over the plums to cover and seal.**
*This is really tedious when you’re bottling 4 or more kilos. I stick 4 darning needles into a cork, then I only pop each plum twice.
** At which point you give thanks that you thought to buy that steel jam funnel. If you don’t have a jam funnel, I strongly recommend transferring the syrup from the pan into a jug. Much easier to control than a ladle or a cup. Not burning any skin off your hands and not having to scrub out deep red stains from spills is just a bonus.
The writer recommends serving these with meat in winter. The other thing I like to do is just chuck a couple into a slow cooked casserole, the plums disappear but the gravy/ sauce turns dark and rich.
(My favouritest pickled fruit is pickled pear. Won.der.ful with cheese or in a chicken salad.)
@Ally S
Your dad sounds super icky. 🙁 Internet hugs, if you want them.
Thanks, Marie. I’m used to him being like that, but it’s still overwhelming and scary. It’s even worse when he violates my personal space when arguing with me e.g. he hovers around me and makes sure I don’t walk away from him. Thankfully we were in the car most of the time when he was arguing with me yesterday.
Speaking of him, he also confirmed yesterday that he’s going to keep a close eye on me while I’m attending UCSC. He said “I know your sister doesn’t want to move here because she won’t be allowed to have the lifestyle she wants.” (By “lifestyle” he means not being Islamic, having non-marital relationships, and interacting frequently with strange men.) What that means for me is that, if I try to live a “lifestyle” he doesn’t approve of, he’ll make sure that I won’t be able to.
I’ve already deduced that he’s going to try to control me while I’m at UCSC, but now he has admitted that himself. *sigh*
Ally, all the hugs you need. That’s completely fucked up.
I do have an update already from my mom. She and dad attended a dialysis meeting today to learn about her options. It turns out she will have to choose dialysis anyway, because Medicare covers dialysis for as long as necessary. It covers a transplant surgery, but then only covers anti rejection drugs for three years. She can’t pay herself after that so anyone who can’t pay can’t get a kidney. (By the way, lobbyists from the dialysis industry are behind this rule)
She is also not well enough physically for the surgery, and the risks of lowering her immune system with anti rejection drugs. Transplant doctors only want to operate on those they believe will live longer so that organs will extend the most life. Mom and dad both told me it was a noble thought that I want to give her a kidney, but that it’s just not meant to be. I told her my offer is always open if things change and she wants it.
So now I know how it is and I can come to accept it. From the way the nurse talked, dialysis is much better nowadays than it was in the past. Mom can do it at home while she sleeps, she can bring her machine with her if she spends a weekend in Branson, and she’ll have an access port in her stomach so she won’t have constant needles to deal with. I’d still rather her live in Joplin, but she and dad won’t hear any of that.
I’m so sorry that you and your mother going through all of that, bionicmommy. =[ I hope the dialysis goes well for your mother. Much hugs for you and your mother if you two want them.
Thank you, Ally. That is very sweet. And I’m sorry for all you’re going through. *hugs back*
RE: Argenti
LBT — you going to be around tomorrow or Friday?
You have likely already found out by now that the answer was no. <.< Sorry, I've been completely blitzed with last-minute social engagements, packing shit into boxes, appointments, and other crap.
RE: Kittehs
I hoped you’d comment, Rogan; I wondered if it’d be a bit like that for you and Mac.
It’s a bit different; Mac died when he was twenty-seven, so there wasn’t a huge experience gap. He also seems to have less tolerance for trauma than I do, which he feels bad over. It’s just that I’m so used to taking care of the system that I forget that to him, it’s a big deal.
@Bionicmommy: Sounds great that she can do it at home, and bring the machine on travel etc. I didn’t know either that dialysis was like that nowadays.
I gotta tell you about this complete asshole I met the other day at the hardware store. I was ordering some stuff they didn’t have at the store, and the staff asked me for my name when taking my order. So I gave them my name which is a typically female one. A man who had been waiting in line behind me then went:
– So your name is X, then you CAN’T BE A MAN AFTER ALL!
– Um, no.
– You see, I totally thought you were a man because LOOK AT YOU but then I heard that your name was X and I thought to myself that if the name is X then it can’t be a man after all DESPITE APPEARANCES.
– Um, right.
(I was dressed in a man’s jacket and a shirt, but I had lots of makeup and big dangling earrings…)
It wasn’t until after I had finished placing my order and walked away that it fully struck me how terribly rude he had been… I really should have called him out on his shitty behaviour, but as I said, didn’t quite realize until afterwards. I was focused on that “placing my order” business, plus I do try to build a more masculine body shape, so someone thinking that I might be a man in makeup and jewellery is sort of a compliment to how this project is going. BUT seriously, complete FAIL there at social competence 101.
But I guess I’ll better get used to this (and have some snappy comebacks prepared) if I’m gonna keep up my “building a more masculine body shape” project.
@Dvarg,
That guy sounds awful. I know what you mean that it’s hard to just come up with witty comebacks on the spot. I’ve also had times when I’m so got by what someone says, I can’t say anything back at all. An hour later, I can think of all sorts of clever comebacks but it’s too late by then.
And why are so many people hung up on the way other people dress and look? They need to learn the art of minding their own business.
[Content note: sickness, gross bodily stuff, anxiety]
Last night, I was trying to eat this shitty fast food. Eventually I had to stop eating because I felt sick and because my stomach felt like it was full of acid. I also happened to be thinking very negative and anxious thoughts. I told my brother that I wasn’t feeling well, so he gave me these digestive pills that don’t seem to have any side-effects – at least not on the bottle.
I tried to lie down for a while, and then I began vomiting profusely. Each heave I had was followed by my back arching very abruptly. I didn’t see any blood in my vomit, thankfully, but after a while I became so fatigued that I almost passed out – I was having these paranoid visions of needing to go to the emergency room and whatnot. I couldn’t sleep until 4 AM just because I had to keep getting up to vomit.
And just a few minutes ago I was at the toilet – again – trying to vomit. And I vomited a large amount of yellow bile. My body still feels shaken and fatigued. But fortunately, after drinking some water and vomiting more, I feel a lot better.
I’m sure the food I was eating contributed to my sickness, but more than anything I felt very stressed out and anxious about many things, particularly the future.
@Ally
holy shit, that sounds awful. How are you feeling right now (as in still sick)?
@ally
Wow, that sounds super sucky 🙁 Are you okay?