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Red Pill Redditor: “If you are sexually attracted to a b*tch, not related to you, that you are doing favors for and not f***ing, you are her orbiter.

This may be the Red Pilliest quote ever! Here’s the full quote in all of its uncensored glory, straight from the Red Pill subreddit.

If you are sexually attracted to a bitch, not related to you, that you are doing favors for and not fucking, you are her orbiter.

And here is a picture of one big, sad beta orbiter and the bitch he adores.

small_dog_big_bed_big_dog_small_bed1

 

EAT THE RED KIBBLE!

Thanks to the Blue Pill subreddit for finding this bit of Red Pill goodness.

Speaking of which, some folks in the Blue Pill subreddit are tentatively planning some meetups. If you want to join them, check out this topic right here.

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tinyorc
11 years ago

I enjoy the way he had to qualify that the “bitch” one might be sexually attracted to is “not related to you” – it’s either atrocious sentence construction or a disturbing insight.

Historophilia
Historophilia
11 years ago

What is an orbiter? Does that means some kind of small planetary body orbiting a woman?

If they get friendzoned do men turn into the moon?

titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

The sheer unimaginable privilege – that the worst thing that could possibly happen to you in this world is that a person to whom you are sexually attracted and to whom you are nice, does not f**k you.

cloudiah
11 years ago

That big dog is adorable.

Cthulhu's Intern
11 years ago

@Historophilia: From what I know, an orbiter is a guy who platonically hangs out with a girl.
Also, David, why isn’t the Blue Pill in the Antidotes to Boobery section yet? And for that matter, why isn’t the Red Pill in the Boobroll?

melody
11 years ago

The sheer unimaginable privilege – that the worst thing that could possibly happen to you in this world is that a person to whom you are sexually attracted and to whom you are nice, does not f**k you.

Exactly! We women NEVER have that problem.
Therefore, NOTHING that is done to us is oppression.
We are just confused about what oppression is.
I just looked in the dictionary and it totally says: when someone you are sexually attracted to is not sexually attracted to you/will not let you fuck them.
Yep, that’s websters definition.

Andrew Johnston
11 years ago

@Historophilia: An orbiter is a man who hangs around woman to whom he is attracted in the hopes that she’ll ask him out, therefore sparing him the risk of rejection. Basically, a subset of the Nice Guy, seen mostly (if not exclusively) among high school students. I believe the term was coined by Dr. Nerdlove, and in any case he uses it a lot.

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

My impression was that an “orbiter” is basically someone who has been “friendzoned”(yeah, I’m putting scare quotes, because term is such bulllshit), but either doesn’t realize it or won’t admit it.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

These guys are clearly not ready for any kind of friendship with people not related to them.

katz
11 years ago

Hey yo, anyone want to help me name my new fluffball? As you can see, she’s a bobtail.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Bob!

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

“…a bitch, not related to you…”

So there are “bitches” he is related to, which would be he’s saying he’s related to female dogs. Which makes him a male dog, right?

Which would explain a lot.

Or, he’s saying its perfectly acceptable to do nice things for female relatives you are sexually attracted to without expecting sexual favors in return. Which, ewwwww.

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
11 years ago

Hey guess what — no one is obligated to fuck anybody they don’t want to! And not wanting to fuck doesn’t make them a bad person! It’s totally mind-blowing, I know.

Thomas Moore
Thomas Moore
11 years ago

For these guys, I’m probably an orbitor because I stayed friends with a woman I’m attracted to, even though I’m not asking for or expecting sex. Yes it can be done, MRA lurkers.

Michael Søndberg Olsen

Friends? With girls? Don’t they have cooties? They don’t? Next, you’ll tell me they that DO have brains and ideas of their own… It’s a madhouse…. A MADHOUSE!

Alice
Alice
11 years ago

That picture is adorable. My friend showed a pic this morning of her tiny cat hogging the huge dog bed, while both dogs had to sleep on the floor. Typical!

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Michael — well, we’re here, so of course it’s a madhouse! (Hope you don’t find my bad joke offensive)

Tangentially, the sub-in receptionist has failed to get my refills called in on my anti-PTSD-nightmare drug. You know, the one that I actually appreciate? Yeah. I want our usual receptionist back but her wee one is just about a month old currently so yeah, she’ll be back eventually.

kittehserf
11 years ago

katz – she looks like my Mamie with added fluff; would you like that name for her?

Falconer
11 years ago

Apropos of nothing: My son is approaching 20 pounds in weight, and my daughter is about a pound behind him.

Cute is the most dense substance known to science.

kittehserf
11 years ago

So if they’re dense enough, does that mean you and Beloved will be drawn in as orbiters? :O

Falconer
11 years ago

we already have to schedule everything around them, i don’t see how we can escape being their orbiters.

kittehserf
11 years ago

It’s the nat’ral order of things, isn’t it? Sort of like cats, really.

Xen
Xen
11 years ago

Ok, this is off topic, but the comments are so stupid: http://atlanta.cbslocal.com/2013/09/10/study-men-with-smaller-testicles-are-better-fathers/

I love how everyone thinks it’s a “fem conspiracy”.

cloudiah
11 years ago

I missed katz’ new kitty the first time I waltzed in here. What a cutie. My very first cat, Mollie, was a rare female orange tabby with a short tail that was shaped exactly like a question mark.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
11 years ago

Only do favors for ugly people. Got it.

Falconer – I’m orbiting a binary system also (22 months and ~30 lbs. apiece). The gravitational field is intense. And constantly fluctuating.

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