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My Seed Is Gold: A Saruman-esque Dramatic Reading

Saruman contemplating his Holy Yogurt
Saruman contemplating his Holy Yogurt

The dude who reads ridiculous man rants on the Internet in a voice vaguely resembling that of legendary actor Christopher Lee as Saruman has brought us all a little gift this morning: A nearly ten-minute dramatic reading of “My Seed is Liquid Fucking Gold” by LaidNYC.

Now all we need to do is to convince the dude who does those True Facts videos to do one.

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Torbjörn Nylander (@urdlunga)

Life sure is surreal 😮

goodrumo
11 years ago

Reblogged this on iheariseeilearn.

StarStorm
11 years ago

OH my yarping gods this is awesome.

iruparazzo
11 years ago

I spit my coffee on the screen omg

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Pretty funny. I hope that asshole LaidInNYC hears it.

postman
postman
11 years ago

And I thought it was funny just reading it. This is amazing.

Ally S
11 years ago

LOL this is simply a masterpiece. sarumangry deserves a medal.

grumpycatisagirl
grumpycatisagirl
11 years ago

It’s interesting to skip around and listen to different parts of the recording in snatches. There is no word or phrase in here that is not as completely ridiculous and hilarious as everything else in the screed.

bekabot
bekabot
11 years ago

Even in the days when I thought I was religious, I never believed in the “power of prayer” stuff; because, I thought, what are the odds that an Infinite Deity is going to saddle Itself with finite concerns? But here it is, proof that it works!! ‘Cuz my prayers have been answered. Yay!!

Shaenon
11 years ago

Every time I’m about to turn it off, a new amazing thing happens. His reading of “viability of your eggs” is Oscar-worthy.

cloudiah
11 years ago

If I weren’t concerned about these dudes having my IP address, I would drop a link in the comments section for LaidinNYC’s post. 😀

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Wow. This guy deserves a medal for being able to say absurd shit with a straight voice. Well done, sir. Well done.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

I liked it when he said

You probably look like shit first thing in the morning

Awww, poor baby is sad that women look different when they’re not fixed up. He probably saw some pictures of celebrities without makeup and now he’s grumpy.

@sarumangry,

Bravo! Thank you for sharing this. I laughed really hard.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Cloudiah — use ToR! Viladia is download and launch easy to use and free.

xenologer
xenologer
11 years ago

Oh god. I knew what this was going to be but then I actually heard it and I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t. Dying of lol. Help. Send help.

sparky
sparky
11 years ago

This is so wonderfully funny. Somehow, picturing Saruman delivering this speech puts it back into the whole “obviously a fantasy” category and take the sting out of the whole “Wait, the dude’s actually serious? Wow, now I’m sad for humanity” thing.

(As an off-topic aside, I am new here and I would like to say I am so, so thankful I found this blog. I’ve been reading through the old posts for the past 3 days an literally, well I guess the acronym would be LMFAO. Earlier this week, I was randomly Googling stuff and came across the whole PUA/redpill/MRA thing and the whole “sad for humanity” thing hit me pretty hard. Then I found Mr. Futurelle’s blog and the commentators here and faith in humanity was restored! Thank you, thank you, thank you. I shut up now.)

katz
11 years ago

Hey, does anyone feel like doing Chapter 2 of The Red Pill? You can find it here and this time there’s no suicide references I noticed, just a goofy straw feminist and a lot of unusual punctuation.

Meet me over at the fora 🙂

carswell
carswell
11 years ago

This is hilarious.

However, if you’ve ever heard Gilbert Gottfriend reading excerpts from 50 Shades of Grey – then you know what I was hearing during the discussion yesterday.

http://gawker.com/5911512/gilbert-gottfrieds-greatest-voice-acting-role-to-date-narrating-fifty-shades-of-grey

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

OMG the “viability of your eggs” part just really made me think of the Ice King from Adventure Time 😀

I can’t; this is just too good!

Valerian
11 years ago

That brought tears of joy to my eyes.

Robert
Robert
11 years ago

Oh. So much more than I could have imagined. I have to play this for my husband (don’t think our sixteen year old son is quite ready for so much awesomeness).

Pillowinhell
Pillowinhell
11 years ago

Was sauruman standing in isengard to give us this reading?

Cthulhu's Intern
11 years ago

@cloudiah: Don’t worry, I already did it. I’m just using my college’s IP address, so I don’t care about them finding me.

Cthulhu's Intern
11 years ago

“Give me a dramatic reading worthy of Mordor.”

Pillowinhell
Pillowinhell
11 years ago

Im seriously considering making this recording a ring tone. Either that, or posting it oneverythread that mras show up on to derail. Especially the newspaper threads.

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