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Music Video Friday: A quintet of duos

I just feel like posting videos today.

Can you guess the underlying theme here?

Well, I kind of gave it away with the title, huh?

Enjoy the videos, or not, as you wish, and consider this an open thread.

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Falconer
7 years ago

Thanks for answering my question, by the by.

katz
7 years ago

Y U NO get into Sandman? Such fascinating world-building, such complex characters, so ahead of its time.

Great American Satan
Great American Satan
7 years ago

Metal you say? I can do this, but today, I prefer not to.

Hey, is this non-objectified ladies displaying sexual agency, or does the chorus undercut that idea? Either way, adorable. I suspect I didn’t like this song when it came out because of some kinda creepin’ misogyny &/or racism. I like it now.

jefrir
jefrir
7 years ago

Ally, I’d second the idea to join stuff, if possible. It doesn’t particularly matter what, just pick something that grabs your interest. You’ll get to meet a whole bunch of people with at least one thing in common with you, and it can be easier to socialize – I certainly find I feel less socially awkward and concerned about not being welcome if I’m going along to learn first aid/play a sport/learn a language/knit/play games than I do if I’m just going along to socialize.
Knitting has been particularly because it provides a built-in response to lulls in conversation and not knowing what to say – instead of getting an awkward silence, I can just concentrate on my knitting for a bit, and join back in the conversation when I do have something to say.

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
7 years ago

Ally S,

Of years in public education, I’ve spent more than a few
and there’ll plenty more before some day I’ll hopefully be through
But at least this allows me to bombard, haphazardly, you
with wit and wisdom and an anecdote or two.

For instance, about clubs and social affairs
Pick a few that make you seem full of cares
Because the affair is about the thing at hand that everyone’s there to do
The social scene and the club is a cool bonus, added in
that everyone goes to the activity for anyway (it’s true)

Consider study-groups and homework teams, you’ll find them bustling to the brim with people
desperate to get an understanding of their method and means
and who will, while you do linaer algebra till three in the morn
often happily acquisice to stick with you till you’re both ready to drop, more busy with yawns than thought.

Everyone there for their first day is almost exactly like you
I mean, not at all like you in any way, because you’re unique and solely you
but exactly like you in a shared setgroup attribute kind of way, they’re all just as new and dazzled by the bright prospectus of your intellectual pursuits
So you’ll often find them just as desperate to hang with you for a few hoops
(Shooting hoops is still a thing right? Else that rhyme is pitiful)

I’ve found great success in offering to guide people through an interactive imaginary fantasyscape, because christ do I love the sound of my own voice, and running D&D campaigns with strangers is a great way to make them not-strangers
So if you feel you have the energy and is the go-get-’em-hyperkinetic type
you can prop a note somewhere with things you can offer
and make a few new strangers (plus, maybe offer instructions in webcoding and earn a bit of dosh for a bite?)

You can audit classes, if you feel you want to bond with more people and their homework
and the on-staff study counsellors give you a grand way of saying “OH GOD HELP ME” and their response is mandated to be “Yes, here’s how”… because it’s their jobs!
it’s brilliant.
ALso consider all the various hilarious ways to get a helping hand at hand, and feel free to ask about offers like psych and hugs and groups for this and that.

Most places organize events (And you can join a club to help organize events, it’s like meeting new people SQUARED!), and attending those are sure to bring more offers of social affairs than you can possibly implement, even in a calendar allow for ingress in non-linear timescapes.

Finally, here’s some other nattering advice (there’s that voice thing again) – consider the alternative: You need be no more, or no less, socially active than you, at any time, feel is appropriate for your current personal ability. It’s just as okay to say “NOT TODAY!” as it is to say “Everyday, including today”. There’s thousands and thousands of people. You will meet ’em.

The good advice from upstairs, I’ll repeat: You can, within limits, be who you want to be – because everyone is there, and new, and don’t know what or wh makes up you, like you do, so if you feel like picking up a few new habits, now’s the perfect time (Maybe try jazz music? Maybe try to rhyme? Maybe do both?)

Everyone, by the by, will be so swamped with imperssions that if you give a cry with any awkward expressions, they’ll forget it most rapidly anyhow, so feel free to have a cow and let lose sometimes most like no one will mind, and more, no one will notice how horribly awkward and strange you just were (Because, and this is key: They figure it’s okay, and there’ll be others for who it’s even a perfectly normal affair). You are neither as flawed or as flustered as you think you are, and with hardly any effort I’m sure you’ll become a social superstar.

Other than that, good luck.

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

That’s great advice.

It took me roughly till my third year in college to get the hang of the social aspects. And maybe not very well, but that was when I found the college newspaper…

myeyestheyburn
myeyestheyburn
7 years ago

TRIGGER WARNING and POTENTIALY NSFW (have a baby jaguar instead http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWkIMUfamxI)

I need to stop reading forums like these, but… I’ve been thinking lately about how we do, really, very desperately need to educate people about what rape and sexual assault constitutes. And this thread… I think, and this may be me reading too much into it, is one of many reasons why.

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=156712213

Summary (my take on it, context is above):

– man in western country has Brazilian woman (student, maybe?) living in his parents home.
– man likes Brazilian woman. Thinks she might be into him but there’s a language barrier.
– Brazilian woman is talking to a Brazilian guy. Man wants to make a move, and does with the encouragement of the forum members, with gems of wisdom such as

“bro havent you seen the movie american pie? jim in the movie could have slept with the exchange student but didnt. and regretted it later on. at least try something. take her out try to kiss her at least to see if she is into it. whats the worst she could do? say no? and then what tell your mom? at least your mom will know youre not gay. and so what if she is talking to another guy. you see her more and have better access to her.”

– man provides alcohol, drugs (? – could be she provided those, it isn’t clear) and sets the woman up with her favorite movie and a quiet night in.
– man and woman get drunk and high.
– man tries to kiss woman, she says “noooooo” but doesn’t resist.
– they make out for a substantial amount of time. She keeps moving his hands away from her pants and says she wants to go to bed.
– he takes her to her room and tries to get her into bed with him. She refuses, but they’re still making out.
– he goes to his room and asks for opinions.
– forum goers tell him he’s “in” and to go harder next time, since Brazilian women are loose and have sex young. Because racism never hurts, apparently, and there’s nothing that needs to be questioned about the history, upbringing and environment of girls who are barely teens are being actively and overtly sexual at all.

At no point is there ever and consideration of, firstly, the fact that she was saying no. Secondly, that she is a foreign woman living under HIS roof, who doesn’t speak his native language fluently and may not be able to communicate her desires. Thirdly and in relation to communication, the position that he is putting her in, since she might believe, if he or his family doesn’t take kindly to her rejecting his advances, she could be royally screwed. Nor does anyone consider her sexual history and how that may explain her behaviour (she’s kissing me, guys, but she wants to get away from me – I wonder what might be the cause of that?). Also, they were both under the influence of alcohol and drugs, and that’s a recipe for disaster. I can’t believe that this is considered an appropriate way to make a first move and that nobody is calling that out. But the guy and those that respond to him genuinely don’t seem to think that there’s anything off about this situation whatsoever, and I honestly believe the OP at least in that he actually doesn’t understand why this might be a horrible experience for the woman he’s pursuing.

Either its an epic troll and I’m too tired to put my radar on, and that website is known for that sort. Or it is, frankly, terrifying.

Am I reading too much into it?

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: katz

Y U NO get into Sandman?

Gaiman just leaves me cold. Seriously, I’ve read ten volumes of Sandman, Neverwhere, Coraline, Graveyard Book, two volumes of his short stories, and Good Omens, all in the interest of trying to force myself to like Gaiman, and Graveyard Book was the only one anyone here really liked. (And even then, the kids were way more into it than I was.) When you read that much of a guy, and the only things you like of his are a children’s book and a crossover fanfiction, you just have to admit defeat.

I’m still not sure why. Maybe his fondness for myth, legend info-dumping, and archetype. Whatever it is, he just doesn’t do it for me.

Neither does Terry Pratchett, to be honest. I also don’t get the appeal of the Last Unicorn at all.

kittehserf
7 years ago

I read The Last Unicorn back in the 80s or 90s and didn’t like it at all. I thought everything about it was incredibly anaemic.

I read Neverwhere but didn’t like it enough to bother with any of Gaiman’s other stuff. I liked the pun of The Angel Islington, but that was about it. Terminally clueless protagonists who spend most of the book protesting that X, Y or Z isn’t possible, or just ignoring what they’re told, irritate me enormously.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Yeah, much to my annoyance, Gaiman and Pratchett just don’t do it for me. I enjoyed Pratchett’s golem book but if it has golems in it, I have high odds of liking it. It bugs me that I have so much trouble putting my finger on what exactly about Gaiman’s work makes it so that I don’t engage with it, but whenever I read something of his, invariably I end up feeling, “Well, that was well-crafted. I have no desire to ever read that again.” *toss*

kittehserf
7 years ago

A funny memory from this morning in the park (and boy could I do with it after the election and a series of nightmares about the new government): yesternight at Home, Katie came up doing her YOWWWWWWWLLLL I’m-really-Siamese-don’t-let-the-tabby-colouring-fool-you noise. She then swarmed up onto my shoulder. I called out to Louis (who was cooking breakfast) that Missy needed food immediately, and when we got to the kitchen she flumped down onto the table as he put a plate of bacon and eggs in front of her.

“Funny how she’s still staarrrving over here,” I said.

“Cats are always starving … where have I put my chives?” he answered, looking in the top cupboards.

“Next one along.”

He found the chives and went back to the stove. “Even in Soul, cats are always starving. That is a True Fact.”

I broke up just remembering his phrasing. No, he doesn’t sound like the True Facts guy, though he could probably provide some great material about Cat (Mis)Behaviour Across the Veil.

neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

Ha! You want to see starving? Get a beagle. They can beg while they eat.

kittehserf
7 years ago

LOL that would be the best video!

Mads’s “I’m starving” routine always gets me. She’ll have a bowl full of food, she’s not exactly thin, but she’ll collapse on the floor and complain that she’s fading away to a shadder.

neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

munch munch munch *looks up* You eating something? You could share. I mean, I only have 3/4 of my bowl left! munch munch munch

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Puff does that too. It’s like…you have a worm in your tiny mouth, stop trying to pull another out of the pipette you goof!

kittehserf
7 years ago

Greed, it is an interspecies thing! 😀

Colleague just said he used to have a budgie that would get out of the flat via the lift, out the security gate and head down to the street where all the restaurants were – after the first time, colleague knew to head straight to the rubbish bins to find budgie on the scrounge.

I’m glad Mads isn’t into any food except dry cat food. Elbowing Katie (who’s little) out of the way at breakfast was always hard enough here – she had a thing for cereal in those days – elbowing Not Little Mads would be even more difficult.

neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

My dog is trained pretty well- I don’t have to move her out of the way most times (sometimes I have to kick her off the couch though). She begs from a distance. With THOSE eyes, THAT face. I’m sure you know the one.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

I’m impervious to begging. I live with Sneak; if I were soft to begging, we would own so much useless junk by now…

kittehserf
7 years ago

I know THOSE eyes and THAT face; my sister’s dogs are experts. Though Lucy preferred the more direct stick-the-nose-in-your-leg method.

Katie, Abbey and Magnus were always more of the “jump on the table and shove the human’s arm ouf of the way” approach. Ab and Mags have lost interest in it over There, leaving Katie as Queen of the Table Pests. 🙂

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

I feel like Gaiman’s work reads like it’s targeted at children even when it isn’t specifically targeted at children. It has that vaguely condescending tone that a lot of children’s TV has, and I couldn’t stand that tone even as a kid.

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

I happen to have just started reading The Graveyard Book and I find it kind of annoying that he keeps referring to the “33rd President of the United States” and “the famous writer Victor Hugo” every time he refers to those characters. But other than that I’m not passing judgment yet.

I did really enjoy Neil Gaiman’s non-fiction book about Douglas Adams and the HItchhiker’s Galaxy some years ago, well before I knew Neil Gaiman was known for doing anything else . . . makes me think I should read his non-fiction book about Duran Duran . . .

kittehserf
7 years ago

Could be worse, it could be Carlyle on the French Revolution. It isn’t just “sea-green incorruptible Robespierre” the first time he mentions him, it’s every time (at least according to Helene Hanff).

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

Robespierre was sea-green?

kittehserf
7 years ago

It was a closely guarded secret. He spent SO much money on makeup.

Ally S
7 years ago

@Fibinachi

Thanks, Fibinachi! ^_^

This part stuck out to me:

Finally, here’s some other nattering advice (there’s that voice thing again) – consider the alternative: You need be no more, or no less, socially active than you, at any time, feel is appropriate for your current personal ability. It’s just as okay to say “NOT TODAY!” as it is to say “Everyday, including today”. There’s thousands and thousands of people. You will meet ‘em.

Yeah, I think you’re right – taking things easy in the way you describe is a good thing for me since the very thought of trying to make friends is daunting, and pushing myself to make friends as quickly as possible isn’t going to make that impact me less.

And yay for rhyming! I almost feel honored in a way.

mildlymagnificent
7 years ago

kitteh – there are occasional bright spots in the gloom.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/federal-election-2013/guide/indi/ If the last 11 booths are even remotely like the 92 already counted, it’s goodbye to Sophie. Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving loser.

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

didn’t nreally know where to post this but knew some of you folks would appreciate this. @Sazza_jay on Twitter posted a link to Askmen’s “top 10” flirtatious lines (for men to say to women, obviously, cos they live in their own little binary gendered heteronormative world). Prepare to cringe at their suggestions.

http://uk.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten_100/133b_dating_list_a.html

‘cos none of us have ever heard any of these lines before. Or felt harassed by men saying these things. /sarcasm

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

Wow, titianblue, that may be the worst list of “tips” I’ve ever seen. And WTF is that about vacuuming?

neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

“And WTF is that about vacuuming?”

I know right. I HATE vacuuming- try not to do it if I can help it. Does this mean I don’t ovulate?

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

I wonder if that’s the real reason my cat hates when I vacuum so much. He knows it means that I am ovulating and he is scared a human baby is going to come along and replace him in my affections.

This makes as much sense as the rest of the idea.

Ally S
7 years ago

[Content note: sexual harassment, stalking]

Ugh, if anyone tried to use those horribly invasive “tips” on me, I’d be pissed off. Maybe I’d laugh at the vacuum one for a little bit, but I’d still be upset.

I was sexually harassed when I was 11. My sister’s ex-BF joked about me learning to have sex with another 11-year-old. And he described it in the most degrading, invasive way he could. I don’t even want to repeat it here. He made me feel disgusted at myself and unsafe, but of course he fucking laughed it off because he was just pulling my leg or something.

Let’s just say that if your flirting tips remind me of the time a man sexually harassed me when I was a kid, you’re most likely doing something wrong. Just saying.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I got so many weird pop-ups and script warnings when I went to that askmen link that I refuse to read it out of anger at POOR WEB DESIGN, DUDES

kittehserf
7 years ago

mildlymagnificent – yup, I’m looking forward to that horrible specimen having to concede.

Also good news: Adam Bandt of the Greens retained his seat of Melbourne despite the exit polls saying he wouldn’t.

Falconer
7 years ago

Ha! I have the website all to myself! I can do anything I want!

sarahlizhousespouse
7 years ago

Askmen.com tries too hard to be Cracked.com with all of those lists. At least Cracked is occasionally funny or insightful.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Not wanting to put this in the open thread where people are talking serious stuff, so here’s a knitting update. I’m doing a jacket that’s essentially the same pattern as my brown tunic. Only real structural differences will be the front being open and the sleeves being wide. The main yarn is Noro Silk Garden #309, which despite the name is mostly mohair and scratchy as hell, so the back yoke/collar and edgings are Adorn Silky Merino (aka the leftover wool from the tunic). I’m thinking of calling it the Mick Aston Jacket in memory of my favourite stripe-clad archaeologist.

This is the stage it’d reached on Thursday night; I’ve done a good bit more since then. I should really go and do some more now!