Over on Roosh’s Return of Kings blog, a dude who calls himself Tuthmosis has provided a useful list of “24 Signs She’s A Slut” in order to help aspiring PUAs to figure out whether or not the HB 6 they’ve been negging all night is going to eventually succumb to their drunken, er, “charms.”
Much of the list is basically rehashed PUA conventional wisdom: sluts have tattoos and lots of piercings; they dye their hair unnatural colors, wear revealing clothes, and have daddy issues.
PUAs really have a thing about women with tattoos, huh?
Others simply reflect a certain assertiveness on the part of the women in question: they curse, they talk about drugs or sex. Oh my! Must be a slut!
But Tuthmosis has a few more, well, novel additions to the list. Like #5 here:
Not ticklish. I’ve noticed that girls who aren’t ticklish aren’t so because they’re used to being handled (by men). Almost every prude is super ticklish, while sluts are rarely so. Sluts may have a physical response to light touching, but it’s rarely a tickled sensation.
Really? When I was young, I was very ticklish. Now, not at all. I haven’t been handled by a lot of men. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
I actually tried to look up what SCIENCE says about ticking only to discover that it doesn’t say much. But I’m going to go out on a giant limb and say that Tuthy’s theory here is complete bullshit. Some people are more ticklish than others. Some people start out ticklish and get less ticklish. Some people like being tickled, some people hate it. People who look to Roosh for advice on how to lead their lives are assholes.
Tuthy’s #9 reason is pretty special:
Has extra body hair (arms, girl-sideburns, girl-mustache) and/or a low speaking voice. This, I’m told, is simple biology. More hair and low voice equals more testosterone. It’s an imperfect metric, though, because women of certain ethnicities are just more hirsute by default.
Oh, that’s why it’s an “imperfect metric.”
Oh, and speaking of “imperfect metrics,” here’s #3, which is probably my favorite:
Has “slut face.” You either recognize it or you don’t.
Works for men, too. Here’s Roosh himself. TOTAL slut face!
And then there’s #22:
Describes herself as a feminist or with any of its jargon (“pansexual,” “demi-sexual,” “cis-gendered”). You may not be able to stand a feminist long enough to bang her yourself but, in trying to prove she can do everything a man can do, she likely fucks with impunity.
Yeah, that’s not actually why feminists have sex. They have sex because they like sex. Feminists may be — on average — more blunt and straightforward about sex than most people, because feminism helps to clear out some of the fucked-up attitudes about sex that get in the way of people dealing with sex in a not-totally fucked-up way. At least that’s been my experience.
Also, you might want to learn what some of that ” jargon” actually means before spouting off about it. A woman who describes herself as demisexual isn’t going to have a have a one-night-stand with you, even if you do manage to successfully hide what a total douchebag you are for a few hours.
Then again, someone who calls herself a pansexual probably isn’t going to either, but that’s because you’re a fucking tool who posts terrible crap on Return of Kings, and there’s really no way you can hide that much douchebaggery.
Yeah, the whole “big boobs = slut because she’s been getting male attention longer” is pretty bullshit. I mean, frankly, as someone who went through that, the only attention you get is from creepy old dudes, and largely translates into being more afraid of people. Additionally, early boobs is correlated with low self-esteem, likely because you don’t just gain boobs – you also gain hips and butt and you get fat in weird places and everyone makes fun of you because your clothes don’t fit right and you look different. Really, PUAs need to find a better source of information than South Park episodes :/
I prefer gin and vodka when drinking. Usually with citrus of some sort.
I am fond of cider too. I have a pint a week with my best friend.
Beer also smells….like urine to me too. And the look of it doesn’t convince me otherwise.
Oooo. I’m gonna do the “survey” too.
I like the smell of beer, but I grew up downwind of a Molson Brewery.
Celebrity worship: Yes, Scott Bakula is worthy of all the praise.
Wears Leopard print: I wish I could pull that off. I might try that someday when I’m very old.
Claims she was “abused” in the past: I don’t “claim” it, I state it, because it’s true.
Fakeness (Bleached or dyed hair, boob job, fake nails, hair extensions, penciled on eyebrows): I dye my hair, have had a nose job, and my eyebrows and eyeliner are permanent makeup tattoos. (double slut points for being makeup and tattoos at the same time!)
Moves frequently: No, moving is a pain the ass.
Fucks the first night you meet her (basically whatever date you fuck her on is what date guys usually fuck her on): I’ve done that before, and I didn’t do a “walk of shame” after because it was fun, and I wasn’t ashamed.
She doesn’t live near her family: No, I prefer being close to all my family. Being close to them is important to me, even my annoying relatives.
Claims she never wants kids: No, I love kids. I have kids, I watch other peoples’ kids, and if I’m lucky I’ll be a grandma someday.
Has a gay bff and/or orbits several gay guys and/or loves gay culture in general: Guilty
Dates younger men (no matter what her age or how small the age gap): Yes, my husband is younger than me.
Has nude pictures of herself on her phone or computer: No. Maybe if I were more confident I would.
Single mother: Married mother, not that that’s better than single mothers.
She’s attractive, yet goes long lengths of time without a boyfriend: Not relevant.
Smoker: No, I did 14 years ago but I quit. (Thank you, nicotine patches!)
Wears hoop earrings: No, but I like them on other people.
In pictures she tries to look sexy or sultry with closed lips instead of giving a warm, genuine smile: No, and I don’t care if young women give “duck lips” because they want to look good on camera. Douchey Roosh wants women to look sexy for him, but hates them when they do.
Has a messy bedroom: No, I’m tidy and orderly.
Wears bright red lipstick: I wish I could pull that off, too. I will sell you red lipstick, though.
Loves clubbing: I’m too self conscious to dance.
Is really into the concert or electronic dance scene: Electronic dance? Is that what the kids are into nowadays?
Can’t get along with girls: No, I enjoy hanging out with women more than men (Oh noes misandry!)
Has lots of “guy friends”: A few guy friends
Posts “selfies” on social media: Don’t do social media. It’s time consuming.
Has male hobbies (sports, gambling, etc.): I like to fish, so that means I’m a big league slut.
Drinks beer: Yes, make it a Michelob Light please.
Shows little concern for condom use: Irrelevant because I’m married.
Drinks in excess often: Not to excess, in moderation.
Constantly has her iPhone glued to her hands: Hey, I just got a 99 cent upgrade to an Iphone4 so it takes a while to learn this thing after using go phones.
Is on multiple social media accounts that she updates: Too much work.
Gives an especially skilled blowjob (as Andrew Dice Clay says…where do you think she learned that?): Not to creeps like PUAs, only my husband when I’m happy.
Comes from a poor or lower class family: I don’t have much money, but I’m happy. And I wouldn’t give a PUA the time of day if he had Bill Gate’s fortune.
Claims bisexuality: No
Hates to cook. Most of her meals come from eating out or ordering in: No, I fix almost all meals.
Her friends are sluts: I wouldn’t call another person a slut unless they and I used it in a reclamatory way.
Uses drugs (the words “coke” and “whore” go together like peanut butter and jelly:
Are you a cop or something? You have to tell me if you are, except in Colorado or Washington.
Is a bartender or (to a lesser extent) a waitress: Used to wait tables at a truck stop, so that’s probably double points for being a waitress and being lower class.
Signs of being a slut that I’m guilty of:
7. Has big tits——how does my genetics make me a slut
10. Associates with confirmed sluts—-My best friend is sex obsessed. And another friend is in an open relationship. And given what I’ve read online by these MRM folks that makes them sluts.
13. Has traveled alone, or with only girls, to fuck fest locations—–went to the beach with my gal pals a few months ago, and have gone to the big city a couple times in the last year with my gal pals too.
15. Went, or goes, to a known part college——–I’m not totally sure on this one. Mine was well known for drug use ect so a party school sorta?
21. Has a bad relationship with her father and/or has divorced parents———–Well, my birth father was abusive, and then I was a foster kid, but then I was adopted so gonna say….sorta
22. Describes herself as a feminist—–Totally guilty of this one.
Only 5. But honestly I don’t understand how these things would be a sign of me being slutty………….
I’ve had it. These guys aren’t human are they? There’s no way someone can be this ridiculous.
Hairy arms? SLUT! Not ticklish? SLUT! What? How? Stop pulling shit out of your ass and calling science.
I decided to take the full test
Claims she was “abused” in the past—–yep, I claim I was abused in the past because I was.
Moves frequently———-I used to because I was in college. Dorms, apartment with friends, different apartment different friends, now I live alone
She doesn’t live near her family—–I don’t live near my immediate family, but an my aunt and uncle live sorta around here.
Claims she never wants kids——-No kids for me thanks.
Has a gay bff——Does it count if shes a lesbian……
Shes attractive, yet goes long lengths of time without a boyfriend—–2 years of singledom at the moment
Has messy bedroom———-seriously what does any of this have to do with my sex life????
Wears bright red lipstick——–what? I like the 50s look
Has lots of “guy friends”——I get it men and women can’t be friends right?
Is passionately liberal and feminist——And how.
Comes from a poor or lower class family——-poor people equal sluts now???
Her friends are sluts————My friend enjoy sex..whats wrong with that?
My friend cultivates a punk rock appearance and loves/has leopard print, pink hair, tattoos, wild piercings, hoop earrings, glitter in all its forms, fuck me boots, short skirts, cleavage-glorifying tops, galaxy print tights, you name it. She also has a fantastic rack, smokes pot and the occasional cigarette, and cusses like a sailor. AND she’s a bisexual feminist! Who grew up poor! She’s only ever slept with her husband.
On the other hand, I have/do very few of those things. I grew up upper-class, I dress more conservatively than your average Jehovah’s Witness (nobody has seen my knees in years), I’m violently ticklish, I was bookish in high school and even more so in college, and I barely talk to strangers let alone go clubbing. I do drink occasionally, but I’m not into public intoxication. I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs at all unless Diet Coke counts now. I’m best described as formal, perhaps even uptight, and I’m a neat freak. None of this has hindered my social life one bit, I’m married and monogamous now but I have a lifetime “number” that would make Roosh’s head explode… and yes, my husband knows and does not care.
We both have plenty of close female friends, are fantastic cooks, have no children, and have okay relationships with our fathers (hers is better than mine, but her dad is a lot nicer than mine).
It’s almost like women are individuals with different tastes and preferences or something.
@Xen
Its obviously because every woman is a slut. Because the only women who are not sluts are the ones who get respect from MRMs….
Since I got my tits hacked off, does that make me less slutty (because no more big boobs) or more (because I’m FAKE)?
Also, I admit to giving some folks the side-eye when they’re straight women who seem to be obsessed with gay men, but that’s because I’ve had random teenage girls on DA saying they want to do me because I’m sooo hot. Uh… thank you… teenage girl… WHERE IS YOUR MOTHER YOUNG LADY? DON’T YOU KNOW HOW OLD I AM? TOO OLD IS HOW OLD!
I am obviously a mangina. A true alpha, I guess, would’ve been flattered. (BUT OMFG SO CREEPY.)
Let’s see: I think Idris Elba is sex on stick, I swear like you wouldn’t fucking believe, I rock leopard print, red lipstick and hoop earrings like a boss, my hair is bleached (and short), I have tattoos, I hang with known sluts and the gays, I never wanted kids, and had a metric fuckton of fun on drugs back in the day.
I don’t drink and I’m trying not to smoke. However, I would fire up a butt pronto and with great pleasure if it got this knob out of my face.
I just had a thought: Does this whole thing not just reek of a reaction to the potential for “slut” and the associated connotations being phased out as derogatory? Like, angry bitter men noticing that there women are becoming less ashamed of sex and sexuality, so they up their game and start shaming women for the *presumption* of sexuality based on whatever bullshit they can pull out of their ass? Essentially moving the goalpost from “It’s bad to have lots of sex” to “It’s bad to look like you have lots of sex”.
Depending on how strict we want to be about things like “potty mouth,” I only tally up around 25% slutty. Predictable.
My husband is very not ticklish. He has explained to me that that is because of his mother. When he was a wee lad, she decided to cure him of ticklishness. Now, he does not react to tickling with laughter, or much of anything besides mild amusement. Our oldest son, who is ticklish like albinos are prone to sunburn, found this quite frustrating.
That said, most of these rules seem to be a codification of ‘I only want women who will not realize what a substandard lover I am’. This is connected with their belief that sex is something a man does TO a woman, rather than something two or more people do with each other.
Ah, so I’m not the only person who thinks beer smells like cat piss. Join me over here in the yes to booze in general but no to beer corner.
Also, slut has never meant “women who has a lot of sex” as far as I can tell. It typically seems to mean “woman who is pissing me off”, and often it means “woman who for some unfathomable reason has just refused to have sex with me, that bitch, how dare she”.
I love beer but I will concede that it smells pretty gross. There’s a reason beer connoisseurs don’t talk about the bouquet.
Also also! If drugs can put them off and we’re sure about that (ie. it’s not something they’ll complain about but still keep hitting on the woman in question), then I have a brilliant new get-rich-quick plan – marijuana perfume. Want to smell like you wake and bake daily even if you can’t stand the stuff/your employer has a drug testing policy/you’re too broke to buy weed right now? Buy our special weed-scented perfume today! Also comes in a body spray, for those occasions where your scent might be competing with the Axe that various PUA creepers have doused themselves in.
And it could come in different strains! I’ll go for a Purple Kush, please.
Well, I’m a pierced, leopard-print wearing, hairy knee-ed and hairy toed, usually single, poor, bisexual, drunken potty mouth who doesn’t want kids. I used to smoke, do drugs, and be a bartender and a server (and have even more piercings than I do now). I have a lot of gay friends, but never liked gay bars, or most bars in general (I prefer pubs, if anything, or just walking around downtown… more or less slutty?). I move a lot and I like red lipstick, and some of my greatest friends are sluts. I’ve also been thinking about getting a tattoo for a long time, once I have enough money to spare I’m doin’ it.
Slut rating?
@jennydevildoll
Yea, you pretty much nailed it. We’re the cool kids and they’re jealous.
CassandraSays, I’m pretty sure they at least have weed scented incense! That will do for now… Or, just put some rum in a perfume bottle.
Eau de Marietta Jehanne keeps PUAs at bay and far away. Buy a case today at your local tattoo parlor!
Is it slutty if I pet cats that are not my cat? I feel like it probably is. Speaking of which, I just came back from the local pet food store, where I was petting a pair of adorable kittens that were up for adoption (while wearing an off the shoulder top, and lipstick). But does my hatred of leopard print and my lack of tattoos cancel that out? I feel like we need one of those shitty magazine quizzes where a=1 point, b=2 points, and so on, to determine our level of sluttitude.
Ally – thank you, I’m glad it didn’t sound censorious! My father and brother were both alcoholics and my brother was violent to Mum and me once (male parental unit was of the maudlin drunk type) and I’ve seen a few friends drunk in years past. Not good.
lowquacks – worse, we once called it (TM for ableism) Spastic Dyslexia.
I’m sure an LSD strain one would keep folks away – despite not smelling skunky, it’s pretty overpowering. (Although the name is highly misleading. V_V)
One thing that Roosh and so called other ‘alpha’ males need to realize is that real ‘alpha’ males are out banging chicks and have no time for the internet posting hateful rants, advice and other nonsense.