Over on Roosh’s Return of Kings blog, a dude who calls himself Tuthmosis has provided a useful list of “24 Signs She’s A Slut” in order to help aspiring PUAs to figure out whether or not the HB 6 they’ve been negging all night is going to eventually succumb to their drunken, er, “charms.”
Much of the list is basically rehashed PUA conventional wisdom: sluts have tattoos and lots of piercings; they dye their hair unnatural colors, wear revealing clothes, and have daddy issues.
PUAs really have a thing about women with tattoos, huh?
Others simply reflect a certain assertiveness on the part of the women in question: they curse, they talk about drugs or sex. Oh my! Must be a slut!
But Tuthmosis has a few more, well, novel additions to the list. Like #5 here:
Not ticklish. I’ve noticed that girls who aren’t ticklish aren’t so because they’re used to being handled (by men). Almost every prude is super ticklish, while sluts are rarely so. Sluts may have a physical response to light touching, but it’s rarely a tickled sensation.
Really? When I was young, I was very ticklish. Now, not at all. I haven’t been handled by a lot of men. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
I actually tried to look up what SCIENCE says about ticking only to discover that it doesn’t say much. But I’m going to go out on a giant limb and say that Tuthy’s theory here is complete bullshit. Some people are more ticklish than others. Some people start out ticklish and get less ticklish. Some people like being tickled, some people hate it. People who look to Roosh for advice on how to lead their lives are assholes.
Tuthy’s #9 reason is pretty special:
Has extra body hair (arms, girl-sideburns, girl-mustache) and/or a low speaking voice. This, I’m told, is simple biology. More hair and low voice equals more testosterone. It’s an imperfect metric, though, because women of certain ethnicities are just more hirsute by default.
Oh, that’s why it’s an “imperfect metric.”
Oh, and speaking of “imperfect metrics,” here’s #3, which is probably my favorite:
Has “slut face.” You either recognize it or you don’t.
Works for men, too. Here’s Roosh himself. TOTAL slut face!
And then there’s #22:
Describes herself as a feminist or with any of its jargon (“pansexual,” “demi-sexual,” “cis-gendered”). You may not be able to stand a feminist long enough to bang her yourself but, in trying to prove she can do everything a man can do, she likely fucks with impunity.
Yeah, that’s not actually why feminists have sex. They have sex because they like sex. Feminists may be — on average — more blunt and straightforward about sex than most people, because feminism helps to clear out some of the fucked-up attitudes about sex that get in the way of people dealing with sex in a not-totally fucked-up way. At least that’s been my experience.
Also, you might want to learn what some of that ” jargon” actually means before spouting off about it. A woman who describes herself as demisexual isn’t going to have a have a one-night-stand with you, even if you do manage to successfully hide what a total douchebag you are for a few hours.
Then again, someone who calls herself a pansexual probably isn’t going to either, but that’s because you’re a fucking tool who posts terrible crap on Return of Kings, and there’s really no way you can hide that much douchebaggery.
Celebrity worship — Author worship, possibly.
Wears Leopard print — Only on shoesAre my feet extra slutty?
Claims she was “abused” in the past — What the everloving fuck? And, yes, previous abusive relationship.
Fakeness – Hell yes I dye my hair. Unnatural colours, even. And I wear makeup (you will pry my warpaint from my cold. dead hands), preferably non-natural looking.
Moves frequently — I flail a lot?
Fucks the first night you meet her (basically whatever date you fuck her on is what date guys usually fuck her on) — I’ve never really dated?
She doesn’t live near her family — I live near my family. I’ve lived far from my family.
Claims she never wants kids — Wants kids.
Has a gay bff and/or orbits several gay guys and/or loves gay culture in general — Has gay friends.
Dates younger men (no matter what her age or how small the age gap) — Husband elect is more than three years younger than me. I have only slept with one guy who was older than me, all the others were younger.
Has nude pictures of herself on her phone or computer — Yes. There are nude pictures of me in both Germany and Japan, on perfect strangers’ computers.
Single mother — Nope
She’s attractive, yet goes long lengths of time without a boyfriend — Eeeeh. Reasonably attractive? I’ve been single a lot though.
Smoker — Former occasional party smoker?
Wears hoop earrings — The holes in my earlobes won’t stay open.
In pictures she tries to look sexy or sultry with closed lips instead of giving a warm, geniune smile — If I smile with teeth I look like I’m about to bite someones’ head off. I tend to look deeply critical in photographies.
Has a messy bedroom — Oh dear yes.
Wears bright red lipstick — Yup.
Loves clubbing — Used to love it.
Is really into the concert or electronic dance scene — Used to be. I live too far away from that now.
Can’t get along with girls // Has lots of “guy friends” — My friends are like 50/50 men and women.
Posts “selfies” on social media — Only when I’ve finished a sewing project.
Has male hobbies (sports, gambling, etc.) — Neutral hobbies. Reading, historical recreation.
Drinks beer — Yep. Mostly ale though, I can’t stand lager.
Shows little concern for condom use — I usually end my classes right before the weekends or before school holidays with a “use a condom, class dismissed”.
Drinks to excess often — I’m old and a weakling these days. I used to drink most of my guy friends under the table though.
Constantly has her iPhone glued to her hands — More likely my Kindle.
Is on multiple social media accounts that she updates — I’m an internet lurker.
Gives an especially skilled blowjob (as Andrew Dice Clay says…where do you think she learned that?) — I don’t know about skill…enthusiasm, however, is my forte.
Comes from a poor or lower class family — Mixed background.
Has an unhealthy diet — Occasionally.
Claims bisexuality — Yup.
Hates to cook. Most of her meals come from eating out or ordering in. — I love cooking, but I’m really lazy. I hate paying for bad restaurant food. I like breakfast food for most meals.
Her friends are sluts — According to what definition? They’re generally similar to me in taste and behaviour, so maybe?
Uses drugs (the words “coke” and “whore” go together like peanut butter and jelly — Not anymore.
She did pageants — Nope.
Is a bartender or (to a lesser extent) a waitress — No, I lack the service-mindedness.
You’re hardcore. IPA’s are about the only thing I don’t go for.
Tats/piercings, Manic Panic and art=slut? Typical boring yuppie guys’ stereotypes about countercultural or bohemian women (and men, a lot of norms chase the boys I know when their friends aren’t looking.) They tend to say they like “the freaky ones”. Whenever I’ve told a bland to get the fuck away from me, that profanity did NOT translate into horniness, at least not for them.
Though I guess in all fairness his stereotypes about mainstream women(cheerleader=slut, etc.) are probably equally silly in their world.
I followed a link to one of his other articles: The 15 Magical Years of Womanhood. I know it was a bad idea, but since Fandom Wank withered and SF_D got scary I’ve needed to get my train-wreck fix somewhere.
Dude, daily freebies? I’ve been pretty, if not conventionally hot, all through my 20’s, and I seem to have missed out on this party. Can one of you ladies tell me where to find this glorious female lifestyle? I only have six more months to enjoy it!
(Bonus points for later in the paragraph, where he cites a CollegeHumor video as proof of how hot women are treated.
Someone on the original article asked for more info on “slut face”, and of course they can’t even agree (if you click through, brace yourself for transphobia on top of the really obvious hatred of women). My favorite:
So, men are stealing our souls with their cocks?
There’s also so much hilarious shitthatneverhappened.txt “I’ve been able to spot a slut by her face since I was 12”. “I spend a lot of time in European cafes, more than anyone else here”. They’re just SO INSECURE.
“I spend a lot of time in European cafes, more than anyone else here”.
And later, I met the President and he let me ride in his private jet and I got all the free candy and gum that I wanted… and-and-and he said I could visit him whenever I want. And YOU’RE not invited. The President loves me more than you.
Are European cafes where I should have gone to get all my daily freebies and massive power and access and instant credibility before I turned 30? The things you learn too late . . . .
1. Has extra body hair.
2. Hair dyed a non-traditional color (i.e., blue).
3. Broaches the topic of COOKIES without prompting. The more chocolate chips, the sluttier.
4. Associates with known monsters.
5. Is an artist, or a wannabe “performer” who has done “educational television.”
6. Likes COOKIES.
7. COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES
All of which are consensual, of course. And if they aren’t, well don’t get so upset! They’re just compliments! Sheesh.
That’s some real subtle apologia for street harassment.
Wait… I’m extremely sensitive to tickling (to the point of visceral, PTSD-esque reaction) DUE to abuse in my past… What does that make me??
MY VAGINA MAKES ME SO CONFUSED
Y’know, it’s about right these jackasses would think Tattooed Lady=Slut. What is it about having tattoos that makes other people think you’re public property?
(To be fair, though, while men have flat-out grabbed my arms without asking me if I was OK with that–and getting mad when I let them know I wasn’t–women have pulled up my sleeves to try and see the rest of one.)
What is a thousand cock stare, exactly? Is that when she kinda looks down and bites her lip like you have a piece of apple strudel in your pants?
I just feel like analyzing these extremely well thought-out descriptors of sluttiness.
Tattoos and non-traditional piercings: Blah blah conservative body-shaming and outdated stereotypes of people with tattoos being low-class. Additionally, people with tattoos and piercings are altering their appearance because they like it as opposed to being over-concerned with what these random men think.
Slut face: I don’t even know. Seriously, what.
Cursing: Women are supposed to be demure and quiet and never say anything objectionable so as to possibly hurt these guys’ fragile egos, whoop de doo.
Not ticklish: I have known a lot of douchebags through the years who like to tickle or poke girls and say it’s ~just in fun~ when the girl objects, or seem to think that because the girl laughs while being tickled it doesn’t matter that they’re saying stop. They can’t easily brush your objections off and continue invading your personal space if you aren’t ticklish.
Openly talks about drug use: Hey, a twofer! One, enjoying things that are illegal means that you like other illicit things, like sex. Because a woman enjoying sex is the same as doing coke. Two, drugs are supposed to reduce inhibitions and these dudebros assume that that’s the only thing keeping women from throwing themselves at them.
Big breasts 😐 His justification is “They probably came in early, which translates into additional years of male attention” which makes no sense.
Shows excessive skin Women can’t like how they look. They must only think of how men are going to react to their appearance, so any woman who shows skin is automatically advertising sex. Ugh. Presumably non-sluts only wear long sleeved turtlenecks and maxiskirts.
Body hair Because evopsych. No matter that the appearance of body hair is very different depending on hair color, the weird US cultural ideas about female body hair, or that the level of a person’s sex drive does not determine how likely they are to have sex with *you* in particular…
Friends are sluts How do you become a “confirmed” slut? Do I need to get a membership card? Because I’ve been called a slut before by some random dudes driving by in trucks, on xbox live, and elsewhere on the internet, but I was never given confirmation of whether their declarations were official or not.
Is or “claims to be” bi: Because women only make out with other women in order to have sex with guys. That makes perfect sense, really.
Sorority status Sororities have nothing to do with community service, leadership opportunities, a sense of family, or any of that. They are only about parties and sex.
Went on vacation to a place that’s a “fuck-fest” Women cannot be trusted to do things on their own. Women who show a hint of independence and self-reliance might actually enjoy sex which is a bad thing. Also “exotic” locations only exist to serve tourists’ sexual desires and have no actual culture outside of how they have been marketed.
Cheerleaders second verse same as the first
Went to a party college Places known as party colleges actually grade students on their partying abilities and how much sex they’ve had. It’s true! It is impossible to get an actual degree from these institutions. Bonus for mild classism. “Party schools” tend to be large state universities. I haven’t heard much about private colleges being party schools, even if people there tend to party just as much or as little.
Lost virginity at a young age Even sarcastically mocking the assumptions in this one makes me feel like curling up and dying, so I’m just going to pretend to set it on fire with my mind.
Tequila and drugs Didn’t we already do this one?
Is friends with DJs and other people in the local music industry Women are incapable of having friendships that do not involve sex. They do not actually like music and female DJs do not exist.
Artsy or models We remind you again that NOT feeling a deep sense of shame and fear when dealing with the human body makes you a terrible person.
Talks about sex We repeat: a terrible, terrible person.
Less-than idyllic family life I think their justification here is “Not getting attention from Dad means they will try to get attention from other men which can only be done with sex.” The freudian convolution of relationships with parents being indicative of one’s relationships with that gender in general is stupid and boring. Are you thinking of your mom when you have sex? Not to kink-shame, but that’s kinda weird.
Feminist Yet again: terrible.
Tans Absolutely terrible.
Nontraditional hair color Hey look, we’ve come full circle!
I think that judgment is based on the notion that women only want tattoos for the sake of being looked at more, therefore they’re slutty. Which is absurd for the same reason that calling makeup a sign of sluttiness is absurd.
Ignotiusomnium, that was hilarious!
Surprisingly, this was the one that bothered me the most. WAY too many people have this idea that sororities exist solely to serve as brothels for the fraternities. It’s such a gross assumption and says a lot about how the person saying it views women.
I’m constantly baffled by these men’s determination to look down on women that would have sex with them. Because even ignoring
Uh, premature commentary? Feel free to delete above as needed. Ahem.
I’m constantly baffled by these men’s determination to look down on women that would have sex with them. Because even ignoring the complete lack of sense in these lists, the basic idea they’ve created is that women who would have sex are “sluts” and the very act of having sex with them lowers the woman’s worth. Yet they’re operating in a community solely dedicated to figuring out how to get women to have sex with them. It’s like an ouroboros of misogyny and self loathing.
So, if someone likes doing these things and then proceeds to do them, that’s “fake”, but if someone likes these things, but doesn’t do them because they’re afraid of being labelled a slut, that’s somehow “not fake”?
They believe that sex with them is the worst, most degrading thing that could happen to a woman. And they hate women enough that they want to do it to every single one.
No, you see, it only counts if your appearance is fake, because seeking attention something something evopsych something.
Obviously.
What people think and feel doesn’t matter, what their actions are doesn’t matter, what their intentions are doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is the judgement leveraged by someone else.
I have a question though.
I used to have orange hair (Because I lost a bet, I’m not nearly cool enough to do so on my own).
Now I don’t.
More or less slutty?
I mean, I’m hiding my slut-ness from future men… but my hair isn’t orange anymore. Gasp!
Oh yes, I’m sure every penis I’ve experienced, my eyes just go deader and less interested in the world. I’ll be sure to tell my husband, so he can make sure I don’t suffer from cock overdose.
Also, last I checked, sex didn’t make your boobs grow. Trust me. I’ve tested this with SCIENCE.
@emilygoddess Thanks! I really, really despise those stereotypes about sororities, cheerleaders, etc. It’s this hideous circle where groups that are female-oriented become objects of sexualization for men, and then people look down on women for being associated with these groups that have been sexualized. Something that should be an awesome source of self-esteem for women gets turned into a sign that she’s an icky “slut.” The people I know who were in sororities in college tend to know how to organize things to get shit done and have more confidence in their ability to get shit done.
@Fibinachi
Slut limbo. And no I’m not talking about a really cool party game.