Slut face, hairy arms and feminism: all signs she’s a slut?

The link, it be broke.

*dies* lol, no, I was thinking more the combat style boots that you can pry from my cold dead feet

tiredCelebrity worship. Well I kind of have a thing for Viggo Mortensen, but that’s just because he has such a classic Danish name.
Wears Leopard print. Never!
Claims she was “abused” in the past. Holy fucking hell, WUT?!!???!!?
Fakeness (Bleached or dyed hair, boob job, fake nails, hair extensions, penciled on eyebrows). None of the above, but it’s mostly because I’m too lazy.
Moves frequently. Lived in my place since March 2001.
Fucks the first night you meet her (basically whatever date you fuck her on is what date guys usually fuck her on). Not usually, but there have been exceptions.
She doesn’t live near her family. My sister lives across the country; my mother lives about 25 minutes away by car.
Claims she never wants kids. Yup. And at 45 I suspect I’m not having any, but I am “Aunt” to several adorable tots.
Has a gay bff and/or orbits several gay guys and/or loves gay culture in general. My best friends are a lesbian woman and a gay man. Guilty!
Dates younger men (no matter what her age or how small the age gap). I did date a guy one year younger than me for about 6 months.
Has nude pictures of herself on her phone or computer. Ha ha, nope.
Single mother. To two cats.
She’s attractive, yet goes long lengths of time without a boyfriend. I’m too old to be called attractive by these dudes, but back when even they would have called me attractive, yes there were times I had long stretches without a boyfriend.
Smoker. Never. Not even pot. I cough very un-sexily.
Wears hoop earrings. I already said I was not pierced.
In pictures she tries to look sexy or sultry with closed lips instead of giving a warm, geniune smile. Ha! In pictures I look like someone just threatened to kill my cats.
Has a messy bedroom. YES!
Wears bright red lipstick. Nope. Pale blond, doesn’t look good. Light plummy colors are better.
Loves clubbing. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Is really into the concert or electronic dance scene. I go to weird folk music/experimental/classical music concerts occasionally, but mostly just listen to music on MP3s.
Can’t get along with girls. LOVE GIRLS. LOVE BOYS TOO.
Has lots of “guy friends”. Pretty equally divided.
Posts “selfies” on social media. Nope.
Has male hobbies (sports, gambling, etc.). Those are male hobbies? I can play the nickel slots in Vegas like nobody’s business, and can make $50 last for hours at the blackjack tables while getting the “free” cocktails (and tipping like a champ).
Drinks beer. Love beer, but it’s too filling. Prefer wine.
Shows little concern for condom use. ALWAYS USE CONDOMS.
Drinks to excess often. I am a little drunk right now.
Constantly has her iPhone glued to her hands. I have an Android phone. I do keep it close by, because my mother is elderly and has heart problems and I worry.
Is on multiple social media accounts that she updates. I update FB about once a week!
Gives an especially skilled blowjob (as Andrew Dice Clay says…where do you think she learned that?) I’ve had no complaints.
Comes from a poor or lower class family. Well now this is very fucked up. I’m one generation away from poor/lower class, but my family was upper middle class.
Has an unhealthy diet. Mostly vegetarian, was eating kale before it was cool. 🙂
Claims bisexuality. Not really, though I can totally understand why people are attracted to women.
Hates to cook. Most of her meals come from eating out or ordering in. Loves to cook, but is too tired after work most nights. Enjoys cooking on weekends though!
Her friends are sluts. I don’t even know what that means.
Uses drugs (the words “coke” and “whore” go together like peanut butter and jelly). Occasionally eats a pot-laced cookie.
She did pageants. Ha ha.

Wow. That was weird. I still don’t know if I’m a slut or not, and I still don’t care.
Is a bartender or (to a lesser extent) a waitress

Well I see the formatting got kinda screwed up but WTF… I’m also not a waitress/bartender, but I can make a nice whiskey sour if you suck up to me sufficiently.

I liked kittehs’ “clubbing” answer. XD

Celebrity worship. I had a crush on Billy Idol when I was 17 – does that count?
Wears Leopard print. Um, no.
Claims she was “abused” in the past. Yep
Fakeness (Bleached or dyed hair, boob job, fake nails, hair extensions, penciled on eyebrows). Unfortunately, no, but I wouldn’t call it “fakeness” in any case =S
Moves frequently. Definitely
Fucks the first night you meet her (basically whatever date you fuck her on is what date guys usually fuck her on). Currently N/A since I’m a virgin, but I definitely wouldn’t want to do something like that on the first night – too much of a rush for me.
She doesn’t live near her family. Unfortunately, no.
Claims she never wants kids. Quite the opposite.
Has a gay bff and/or orbits several gay guys and/or loves gay culture in general. Yes to the last one.
Dates younger men (no matter what her age or how small the age gap). I prefer to seek people who are around my age, so no.
Has nude pictures of herself on her phone or computer. I really see no point in doing that.
Single mother. I wouldn’t mind being one.
She’s attractive, yet goes long lengths of time without a boyfriend. Um, no.
Smoker. I don’t smoke tobacco, so no.
Wears hoop earrings. No, but they might be nice to try one day.
In pictures she tries to look sexy or sultry with closed lips instead of giving a warm, genuine smile. Most of my FB pictures have me frowning or looking bored, so no.
Has a messy bedroom. Yes.
Wears bright red lipstick. I can’t even bring myself to buy lipstick. >_>
Loves clubbing. Not my thing.
Is really into the concert or electronic dance scene. Concerts are nice, but I’m not “really into” them.
Can’t get along with girls. I feel like I relate to the experience of girls more readily, but I get along with girls just as much as I do with guys and non-binary people.
Has lots of “guy friends”. Sure.
Posts “selfies” on social media. If Facebook counts, sure.
Has male hobbies (sports, gambling, etc.). I suppose programming is a “male” hobby, but I also like writing, which of course makes me extra feeeeemale-ish.
Drinks beer. Can’t stand the stuff – the smell scares me away.
Shows little concern for condom use. I probably would care.
Drinks to excess often. I don’t drink often, so no. And last time I drunk too much, I ended up with vomit on my clothes and crying, so I’m averse to the idea of drinking excessively.
Constantly has her iPhone glued to her hands. I don’t like smartphones – I just have a cheap Samsung phone that’s probably a decade old or something.
Is on multiple social media accounts that she updates. Not multiple, no.
Gives an especially skilled blowjob (as Andrew Dice Clay says…where do you think she learned that?) I’ve never given anyone a BJ, so no.
Comes from a poor or lower class family. No, my upbringing was middle class and currently I’m only a little below middle class.
Has an unhealthy diet. Definitely.
Claims bisexuality. For now, yes.
Hates to cook. Only when I don’t know what I’m doing.
Her friends are sluts. By these standards, almost everyone I know is a slut in some way, so yeah.
Uses drugs (the words “coke” and “whore” go together like peanut butter and jelly). Definitely, especially that green stuff.
She did pageants. lol no

PUAs are amusing fellows for sure.

– Female. Yes.
– Foul mouth. Sometimes. So that’s a yes then.
– Uses feminist jargon. Never said “patriarchy” in conversation before, but I did use the term “victim blaming.”
– Has non-traditional piercings. No.
– Has tattoos. No.
– Enjoys sex. Yes.
– Has incipient moustache, hairy ankles, knees and toes. All except the moustache.
– Dresses sluttishly. Considering how they define slutty…yes.
– Ticklish. Yes, but I hate being tickled.

– Celebrity worship. No.
– Wears Leopard print. I have a leopard print article of clothing.
– Claims she was “abused” in the past. No, and what the fuck? Oop, there goes the foul mouth.
– Fakeness (Bleached or dyed hair, boob job, fake nails, hair extensions, penciled on eyebrows). None of the above. But you know what else is fake? Shaving.
– Moves frequently. Only bedridden girls are not sluts!
– Fucks the first night you meet her (basically whatever date you fuck her on is what date guys usually fuck her on).
– She doesn’t live near her family. Why oh why did I have to leave Hawaii for that job in Montana?! *sniffle* Now I can never marry!
– Claims she never wants kids. No. Actually more excited about kids than about marriage.
– Has a gay bff and/or orbits several gay guys and/or loves gay culture in general. Some of my friends might have been gay but I wouldn’t know for sure because it’s none of my business.
– Dates younger men (no matter what her age or how small the age gap). I’ve dated a man 1 day younger than me. It counts!
– Has nude pictures of herself on her phone or computer. Not unless you count my naked hairy toe.
– Single mother. No, but it may happen considering my feelings about kids vs. husband.
– She’s attractive, yet goes long lengths of time without a boyfriend. School, college, work, what have you DONE to me?!
– Smoker. No.
– Wears hoop earrings. No.
– In pictures she tries to look sexy or sultry with closed lips instead of giving a warm, geniune smile. Yeah right, these guys would think a smile is slutty too.
– Has a messy bedroom. Yup 😀
– Wears bright red lipstick. No.
– Loves clubbing. Oh, yes. That “KONK!” noise as the wood connects with the head is just so….oh wait, you meant…
– Is really into the concert or electronic dance scene. No, too loud.
– Can’t get along with girls. Nope. Sisters over Misters.
– Has lots of “guy friends.” Not here, as I’ve recently moved and work in a female-dominated area.
– Posts “selfies” on social media. Does a Facebook profile picture count?
– Has male hobbies (sports, gambling, etc.) Tennis is a sport.
– Drinks beer. No. I don’t drink at all.
– Shows little concern for condom use. That’s actually something I worry about *guys* doing. It’s cringeworthy how often I’ve heard women say their boyfriends tried to slip the condom off in the middle of sex.
– Drinks to excess often. See above.
– Constantly has her iPhone glued to her hands. Don’t have an iPhone.
– Is on multiple social media accounts that she updates. How long has it been since I logged in? What’s my password again?
– Gives an especially skilled blowjob (as Andrew Dice Clay says…where do you think she learned that?) Is that something you really want to complain about?
– Comes from a poor or lower class family. Racism, sexism, ableism, AND classism. Yay!
– Has an unhealthy diet. Healthier than yours.
– Claims bisexuality. I’m not going to bother labeling my sexuality.
– Hates to cook. Most of her meals come from eating out or ordering in. I like cooking, but not when I’ve had a 12-hour shift and must prepare for another one.
– Her friends are sluts. The way you define sluts, it’d be pretty easy to find one who is.
– Uses drugs (the words “coke” and “whore” go together like peanut butter and jelly. No.
– She did pageants. No. I went to modeling school, though.
– Is a bartender or (to a lesser extent) a waitress. I was a waitress once. “Can I take your order?” (MRA brain: “…if you know what I mean?”)

Phew! Boy that was long.

I still don’t know if I could even be a slut by their standards, what with the rejecting binary gender thing and all, but my game is being glitchy so fuck it.

Celebrity worship — uh…is Emilie Autumn a celebrity? Cuz I guess? I mean, not like I’m decorated in EA or anything but I have a total talent crush
Wears Leopard print — never, and anyone asking my opinion on it will be glared at *cough*mom*cough*
Claims she was “abused” in the past — *removes scare quotes* yes, ze was
Fakeness (Bleached or dyed hair, boob job, fake nails, hair extensions, penciled on eyebrows) — does dying my hair at most annually count? And so close to my natural color you can’t find roots?
Moves frequently — guilty as charged
Fucks the first night you meet her (basically whatever date you fuck her on is what date guys usually fuck her on) — no, ze will not, ever, period, deal with it. Though I’ve had far fewer proper dates than lovers, so make of that as you will.
She doesn’t live near her family — ze, unfortunately, lives with zir family
Claims she never wants kids — ze does not. Ze is also getting sick of this pronoun issue.
Has a gay bff and/or orbits several gay guys and/or loves gay culture in general — see above regarding pronouns, infer.
Dates younger men (no matter what her age or how small the age gap) — wait, ANY age gap? So like, a week younger is a slut, a week older isn’t?! (Yes, I’ve fooled around with younger people of assorted genders, I have no idea how this counts in my case)
Has nude pictures of herself on her phone or computer — *blushes* ze does (what? My now ex FWB and I were 500 miles apart for 7 years!)
Single mother — I am a fishie parental unit, yes. They have a doting grandmother though.
She’s attractive, yet goes long lengths of time without a boyfriend — somebody else answer that first bit? Generally single though, yeah.
Smoker — will waving a cigarette at him make him go away? Cuz yes.
Wears hoop earrings — through my gauged holes when I’m feeling particularly gothy? (I have black silicone plugs, that are more like liners, and much smaller red almost hoop things…I have a thing for red and black…)
In pictures she tries to look sexy or sultry with closed lips instead of giving a warm, geniune smile — in pictures ze looks like a deer in headlights usually!
Has a messy bedroom — there’s no room in here for mess! 8’x10′ with 55g, 30g and snail breeding tank, two bookcases, a plant stand, the 10g as a terrarium, desk, bed. More like highly organized chaos!
Wears bright red lipstick — that would require wearing lipstick
Loves clubbing — hates people
Is really into the concert or electronic dance scene — yeah, no. See above. Though I think pecunium has talked me into a concert of a sort of classical nature?
Can’t get along with girls // Has lots of “guy friends” — has like a half dozen friends, none of whom are cis women
Posts “selfies” on social media — of my fish?
Has male hobbies (sports, gambling, etc.) — please define. Is fish keeping a male hobby? (Probably? Cuz chemistry? Or girly cuz beauty is a factor?)
Drinks beer — Yng Yeung Black and Tan or liquor, so no (I’ll tempt wine, it’s apparently grown on me)
Shows little concern for condom use — do I need to get my condoms gif out?
Drinks to excess often — define often, I don’t often drink, when I do, I’ll spend a week getting very drunk so um? Idk?
Constantly has her iPhone glued to her hands — iPad! (I’ve given up on the pronouns)
Is on multiple social media accounts that she updates — no, I am here *waves*
Gives an especially skilled blowjob (as Andrew Dice Clay says…where do you think she learned that?) — *dies laughing* no
Comes from a poor or lower class family — makes me a slut? Huh? (Yes)
Has an unhealthy diet — um…sometimes?
Claims bisexuality — that ain’t a claim
Hates to cook. Most of her meals come from eating out or ordering in. — perks of living with my parents!
Her friends are sluts — let’s see…yes, maybe, no, might still be a virgin, no, no, pecunium are you a slut?
Uses drugs (the words “coke” and “whore” go together like peanut butter and jelly — AHHH where is the missing parenthesis?! At present, no. Wasn’t a big fan of come, other than it being excellent for massive cleaning projects.
She did pageants — …o.o?
Is a bartender or (to a lesser extent) a waitress — no

So I am like, half a slut or something? Does the fact that by the standard they’d probably use I’ve been celibate for hm…6 years count against that? (Yeah, see, this is an interesting question when one’s sexytimes don’t generally involve sex per se…also, a fun joke since I should join a monastery already!)

What makes me wince is the spike on one of the cheeks. Yikes!

– Female. No I’m A FEEEEEEEEmale.
– Foul mouth. Fuck yeah!
– Uses feminist jargon. Yes because as far as I know those are the best and most widely-understood terms for the ideas I would like to express, thank you very much, dudebros.
– Has non-traditional piercings. Nah, I have penetrative needle issues.
– Has tattoos. Noooot yeeeeetttt…
– Enjoys sex. <Hells yeah, just like all those mansluts out there! Except I'm better at it.
– Has incipient moustache, hairy ankles, knees and toes. If they’re incipient, you’ll never know… UNTIL THEY STRIKE AT YOUR MOST VULNERABLE PARTS!
– Dresses sluttishly. Wait, so if I’m a slut, then aren’t I by definition dressing sluttishly? This is way too Catch-22.
– Ticklish. Yes, but strangely in completely different places than Dr. Husbutt.

-Celebrity worship. Noooope.
-Wears Leopard print. Haha, only person in my family that wears leopard print is my Nana. She had 16 kids though so maybe she’s a slut?
-Claims she was “abused” in the past. HAHAHAHAHA – go fuck yourself.
-Fakeness (Bleached or dyed hair, boob job, fake nails, hair extensions, penciled on eyebrows). Wait, so what about nail polish? Eyeshadow? Haircuts? Earrings? Jewelry in general? Clothes?
-Moves frequently. Well I’m in my early 20’s and it’s not like one can stay in a college dorm forever, eh?
-Fucks the first night you meet her (basically whatever date you fuck her on is what date guys usually fuck her on). HAHAHAHAHA – Assuming I fucked dickwads like these ever again. Also I don’t date. Haven’t since high school. So not really sure how to assess that one.
-She doesn’t live near her family. THANK GOD I DON’T THEY’RE ASSHOLES
-Claims she never wants kids. I want Falconer’s babies. Not his golden spermies. Just his twins. I’ll settle for oiling up the ol’ babymakin’ equipment with Dr. Husbutt in a year or two, though. (Sorry for creepin’, Falconer, I am not being serious and will not steal your babies even though they are the cutest ever.)
-Has a gay bff and/or orbits several gay guys and/or loves gay culture in general. HELL YEAH GAY AGENDA FTW RAINBOWS EVERWHERE LET’S ALL GET MARRIED, K?
-Dates younger men (no matter what her age or how small the age gap). I like my men like I like my wine: Well-aged, sweet, and full-bodied. Or something. Those are things that describe wine, right?
-Has nude pictures of herself on her phone or computer. NOT LIKE YOU’LL EVER SEE THEM. For reals, they’re password protected.
-Single mother. Nope, no babies yet.
-She’s attractive, yet goes long lengths of time without a boyfriend. Well I’m married, so… yeah. That’s kinda how that works, what with the lack of boyfriends and all.
-Smoker. Noooope, don’t like it.
-Wears hoop earrings. Every once in a while. I’ve got this sweet turquoise pair…
-In pictures she tries to look sexy or sultry with closed lips instead of giving a warm, genuine smile. In which pictures? I mean there are A LOT of pictures of me and my intentions vary.
-Has a messy bedroom. It’s only half my fault. Presumably Dr. Husbutt is also a huge slut?
-Wears bright red lipstick. Only when I want to feel EXTRA FIERCE and/or leave big smears on other people to mark my territory.
-Loves clubbing. HAHA what is fear of crowds?
-Is really into the concert or electronic dance scene. We talking philharmonic? Because that is SO my scene. Or it would be if it weren’t so pricey, heh.
-Can’t get along with girls. Awesome people are excellent. Douchebags are not excellent. I don’t care what’s in your pants or what your preferred mode of dress is — unless your preferred mode of dress is Ed Hardy — if you’re awesome, you’re in. I don’t get along with honeybadgers?
-Has lots of “guy friends”. Yeah, cause I’ve got lots of friends, period.
-Posts “selfies” on social media. What counts as a selfie? This seems needlessly complicated.
-Has male hobbies (sports, gambling, etc.). Come at me with a sword, bro, and tell me that shit’s just for duders. C’mon. I double dare you. And tell me how my outfit looks while you’re at it, because I sewed that shit by hand.
-Drinks beer. Ewwww hops D:
-Shows little concern for condom use. Hahahaha I’m sensitive to latex; I am VERY concerned about condom use.
-Drinks to excess often. Not after that brush with alcohol poisoning last summer…
-Constantly has her iPhone glued to her hands.I don’t have an iPhone because fuck Apple etc. but there must be a HELL of a lot of really slutty dudes out there if this is the criteria.
-Is on multiple social media accounts that she updates. What even counts as social media these days? Everyfuckingthing is social and media :/
-Gives an especially skilled blowjob (as Andrew Dice Clay says…where do you think she learned that?) Y’know, I have to say that I doubt any of these douchecanoes could tell a difference in skill on that front, given that I have to assume they’d blow their golden wad at the mere touch of something that’s not their own hand in that kind of setting.
-Comes from a poor or lower class family. Umm… I really doubt that has any bearing on slutitude. Maybe some bearing on how easy it is to lock someone into an abusive relationship, though.
-Has an unhealthy diet. I feel like this is just a veiled way of saying “FATTIES R SLUTS!”
-Claims bisexuality. Only to people who have a hard time understanding what I mean by “pansexual.”
-Hates to cook. I fucking love to cook, but if you tell me to get back in the kitchen, you’re not getting any, ever.
-Her friends are sluts. Apparently everyone is sluts, so yeah I guess?
-Uses drugs (the words “coke” and “whore” go together like peanut butter and jelly). Mmmm birth control and ibuprofen and acetaminophen, and caffeine on the rare occasion. Oh and those antibiotics when my kidneys get uppity, that’s useful, too!
-She did pageants. Not my thing. Not that I didn’t have people tell me I should on a few occasions, but really. Not interested, myself.

Slutitude: 49%

Female. – Check.
Foul mouth. – Check..
Uses feminist jargon. – Check.
Has non-traditional piercings. Well, until two years ago I had a pierced lip. Then the ring fell out and I couldn’t be arsed to find another ring and bend it until it fit the shape of my lip, so… previously “yes” (if everything outside of years is “non-traditional” which I suspect), nowadays “no”.
Has tattoos. – Check – black silhouettes of my previous pets all over my upper arms!
Enjoys sex. – Check.
Has incipient moustache, hairy ankles, knees and toes. No, I don’t even have enough arm pit hair for it to show unless you’d really stuck your face in there and stared. By PUA science this means I have really low testo and testo is what makes you become a slut… SO HOW COME I TICK SO MANY OTHER BOXES? I’m confused. Must be because my ladybrain doesn’t understand science.
Dresses sluttishly. Depends on what counts? I always have tight stretch jeans or little shorts if it’s hot, and occasionally tops that show my belly. Usually though, when it’s not hot, I wear a man-shirt and a tie. But maybe that’s slutty too, because it makes me look like a guy, and guys have more testo, and are therefore sluttier than girls on average? THIS IS SO HARD TO FIGURE OUT.
Ticklish. Just my belly-button. I guess too few of my previous sex-partners have stuck their fingers in there.

@Kitteh

Might be a little TMI:

Yeah, one time when I was 9 or so I was near one of my neighbors as he opened up a can of beer. I though it smelled like urine, and ever since then I’ve been highly averse to beer. And while I’m at it, I also hate the smell and taste of whiskey and rum. In fact, the first time I ever got drunk (age 15) was when I had this god-awful combination of diet root beer and rum. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? V_V

I’ll do this in two parts, since I can’t copy easily on the tablet. Am also curious how much of a slutty young woman I am given that I’m a middle-aged male.

– Female. -> DAMMIT! Is it like double-elimination or something?
– Foul mouth. –> Grew up in New York City. I use fuck as a comma.
– Uses feminist jargon. –> When it is useful, what with a hundred-plus years of theory worth drawing on.
– Has non-traditional piercings. –> Yup, thanks to the ex-betrothed.
– Has tattoos. —> Yup, and my tattoo artist is still intending to lure me into another one.
– Enjoys sex. –> I remember being quite fond of it.
– Has incipient moustache, hairy ankles, knees and toes. –> Nope, quite plainly so.
– Dresses sluttishly. –> Hmm… maybe sometimes?
– Ticklish. —> Nope. Almost never. (Not ticklish was slutty, right?)

So one non-slut answer, one I don’t know, and the rest slutty. I am a slut!

Onto the longer questionnaire.