Over on Roosh’s Return of Kings blog, a dude who calls himself Tuthmosis has provided a useful list of “24 Signs She’s A Slut” in order to help aspiring PUAs to figure out whether or not the HB 6 they’ve been negging all night is going to eventually succumb to their drunken, er, “charms.”
Much of the list is basically rehashed PUA conventional wisdom: sluts have tattoos and lots of piercings; they dye their hair unnatural colors, wear revealing clothes, and have daddy issues.
PUAs really have a thing about women with tattoos, huh?
Others simply reflect a certain assertiveness on the part of the women in question: they curse, they talk about drugs or sex. Oh my! Must be a slut!
But Tuthmosis has a few more, well, novel additions to the list. Like #5 here:
Not ticklish. I’ve noticed that girls who aren’t ticklish aren’t so because they’re used to being handled (by men). Almost every prude is super ticklish, while sluts are rarely so. Sluts may have a physical response to light touching, but it’s rarely a tickled sensation.
Really? When I was young, I was very ticklish. Now, not at all. I haven’t been handled by a lot of men. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)
I actually tried to look up what SCIENCE says about ticking only to discover that it doesn’t say much. But I’m going to go out on a giant limb and say that Tuthy’s theory here is complete bullshit. Some people are more ticklish than others. Some people start out ticklish and get less ticklish. Some people like being tickled, some people hate it. People who look to Roosh for advice on how to lead their lives are assholes.
Tuthy’s #9 reason is pretty special:
Has extra body hair (arms, girl-sideburns, girl-mustache) and/or a low speaking voice. This, I’m told, is simple biology. More hair and low voice equals more testosterone. It’s an imperfect metric, though, because women of certain ethnicities are just more hirsute by default.
Oh, that’s why it’s an “imperfect metric.”
Oh, and speaking of “imperfect metrics,” here’s #3, which is probably my favorite:
Has “slut face.” You either recognize it or you don’t.
Works for men, too. Here’s Roosh himself. TOTAL slut face!
And then there’s #22:
Describes herself as a feminist or with any of its jargon (“pansexual,” “demi-sexual,” “cis-gendered”). You may not be able to stand a feminist long enough to bang her yourself but, in trying to prove she can do everything a man can do, she likely fucks with impunity.
Yeah, that’s not actually why feminists have sex. They have sex because they like sex. Feminists may be — on average — more blunt and straightforward about sex than most people, because feminism helps to clear out some of the fucked-up attitudes about sex that get in the way of people dealing with sex in a not-totally fucked-up way. At least that’s been my experience.
Also, you might want to learn what some of that ” jargon” actually means before spouting off about it. A woman who describes herself as demisexual isn’t going to have a have a one-night-stand with you, even if you do manage to successfully hide what a total douchebag you are for a few hours.
Then again, someone who calls herself a pansexual probably isn’t going to either, but that’s because you’re a fucking tool who posts terrible crap on Return of Kings, and there’s really no way you can hide that much douchebaggery.
How many times do you think Roosh has been out to dinner with a woman who has told him she’s demi sexual and instead of actually listening to her explain what that means he just thought “yesss! I’m in! Feminist jargony slut!” and then wondered what happened?
“How many times do you think Roosh has been out to dinner with a woman
who has told him she’s demi sexual and instead of actually listening to her explain what that means he just thought “yesss! I’m in! Feminist jargony slut!” and then wondered what happened?”FTFY
(The answer: seldom if ever.)
XD Fair point.
Also, I’m pretty sure I have slut face. I think it’s the giant tattoo of the word “SLUT” all in caps, studded with piercings, that does it.
Of course, I would still never sleep with Roosh. Ever.
Nah, too subtle! 😀
Hey speaking of slut faces or hair – handed over my plastic money wot’s got Louis’s pic on it at the doctor’s last night. Receptionist (who is totes cool and has the BEST 1950s blonde rocker quiff I’ve ever seen) says “Oh, it’s your card with your pic – no, wait, your husband’s pic!” I said “He’s got more moustache than I have, though mine’s trying to catch up,” and we started giggling about hair.
I told the boss about that this morning and he summed it up as “He cultivates his, you don’t!”
Also, I wonder what doucheboy and his friends mean by “prude”. Presumably someone who doesn’t like being hit on by them. Funny how the numbers are always wrong … a woman’s either a prude or frigid if she won’t touch them, or a slut if she’s had much experience, whether or not she’s
bored enough fordesperate enough forinterested in sex to try him out.Of course it goes back to the same shit the boys said behind the shelter sheds at school, only these boys never grew up – and it’s the same as GoldSpooge, it’s a handy excuse for why they probably never have sex at all.
Damn! Y’all already caught the demisexual part. Because, uh, yeah, I’m the mates-for-life sort, and I suuuuure am not going to sleep with Roosh.
Also, ALL those terms he fucking mentions are from the queer and trans movements, not feminism. At least keep your movements right!
GoldSpooge is easily my least-favourite Bond villain.
Roosh looks positively poleaxed in that pic. Wow.
Slut face? Does that mean “wears makeup?”
I give the Roosh guys credit: they’re progressing! Finally hit the phrenology stage. They are entering the 19th century in full force.
Hopefully they’ll also find out about homeopathy soon (developed in 1796 like phrenology). Douchebaggery diluted a milion fold, until there isn’t a douchebag particle to be found. It’s more potent that way, guys! It was developed by the same super alpha dude who came up with the coffee theory of disease. Imagine the HB10s he had to turn down for such forward thinking! (none of them had tattoos though)
Coffee theory of disease?
TELL ME THIS enquiring minds want to know
Bwahahaha, GoldSpooge! I missed that one.
There’s something delightful about writing a piece that supposedly tells creepy dides what signs to watch out for to learn if a woman is a “slut,” and then including something you “either recognize or you don’t.” Informative as always!
@kitteh
From Wikipedia, page on Samuel Hahnemann, inventor of homeopathy (sorry homeopathy lovers, that guy perfected quackery):
-Coffee Theory of Disease:
Around the start of the 19th century Hahnemann developed a theory, propounded in his 1803 essay On the Effects of Coffee from Original Observations, that many diseases are caused by coffee.[15] Hahnemann later abandoned the coffee theory in favour of the theory that disease is caused by psora, but it has been noted that the list of conditions Hahnemann attributed to coffee was similar to his list of conditions caused by psora.[16]
This read like one of those “10 facts about Women” articles but with more hostile sexism. It should really be packed with subscription to Cosmanpolitan.
Someone I know once linked me to Return of Kings, and I made the mistake of laughing at it. Now, he keeps trying to make me debunk anti-feminist nonsense he found or spit up himself.
So this is the right place to talk about the awesome tattoo I spotted yesterday, right? It was on the lower back of a young woman who looked kind of punk, and it was of a hand with a raised middle finger with the text “Fuck You” written above it. Hopefully it will serve as effective misogynist repellent.
I hope it works! 😀
I wanted to get a stamp with a raised middle finger and “Your account is on hold” to put on customer statements. Much more fun than the finger with a bit of string and “friendly reminder” ones.
Let’s see…
Female. Check.
Foul mouth. Check.
Uses feminist jargon. Check
Has non-traditional piercings. Sorta Check.
Enjoys sex. Monogamously check.
Well, there you go. I’m a slut. 😀
I wonder if piercings that you used to have but took out still count.
MaudeLL – a lot of people who defend homeopathy don’t know what it is. I’ve been in discussions where it became quickly apparent that they thought homeopathy is some kind of ancient, eastern, traditional herbal medicine.
Ooh, checklists!
Female. Check.
Foul mouth. Check. (Fuckin’ aye!)
Uses feminist jargon. Check.
Has non-traditional piercings. Not really, do two unused sets of ear piercings count?
Has tattoos. Check.
Enjoys sex. Monogamously – check.
Has incipient moustache, hairy ankles, knees and toes. Check.
Dresses sluttishly – no idea, does wearing skinny leg jeans and the occasional v-neck top count?
IS HYPERGAMOUS COS KING – check. (Even if he is a bum who doesn’t have any money. 😛 )
I must be a slut, too. Even worse, an OLD one.
Wither and die, PUA mirrorboners!
Cassandra – we’ll probably find unused/closed piercings have some strange and quasi-Freudian meaning all their own.
… I wonder whether Freud would want to analyse these guys or join them?
The only weirdness I ever got about my tattoos were my folks. Everyone else has agreed they’re awesome — I designed them myself.
I told Mum about this stuff – tattoo = slut – this morning.
She patted her Michael Schumacher tattoo. The one she had done when she was about 75.
Roosh is looking a little bit Fidelbogenish in that picture. I feel like he’s about to say something he thinks is really, really smart.