For a certain subset of horrible men, there are few things more infuriating than the fact that women they find undesirable can turn down men for sex. For this upsets their primitive sense of justice: such women should be so grateful for any male attention, these men think, that turning down even the most boorish of men shouldn’t even be an option for them.
Consider the reactions of some of the regulars on date-rapey pickup guru Roosh V’s forum to the story of Josh and Mary on the dating site Plenty of Fish. One fine December evening, you see, Josh decided to try a little “direct game” on Mary.
That’s what the fellas on Roosh’s forum call it, anyway. The rest of us would call it sexual harassment.
Josh started off by asking Mary if she “wanted to be fuck buddies.” She said “nope,” and the conversation went downhill from there, with Josh sending a series of increasingly explicit comments to Mary, despite getting nothing but negative replies from her.
After eight messages from Josh, with the last one suggesting he would pay her $50 to “come over right now and swallow my load,” Mary turned the tables, noting that she’d been able to deduce his real identity from his PoF profile, and asking him if he wanted her to send screenshots of the chat to his mother and grandmother. He begged her not to.
As you may have already figured out, from the fact that we’re talking about this story in public, Mary did indeed pass along the screenshots, and posted them online.
Poetic justice? Not to the fellas on Roosh’s forum. Because, you see, Mary is … a fat chick.
While dismissing Josh as a “chode” with “atrocious game,” Scorpion saved most of his anger for the harassed woman:
Look how much she relishes not only shooting him down, but damaging his reputation with his own family. She’s positively intoxicated with her power. Simply spitting bad direct game is enough to unleash her vindictive fury.
“Bad direct game.” I’m pretty sure even Clarence Thomas would consider what Josh did sexual harassment.
At any point, she could have pressed a single button and blocked the man from communicating with her, but she didn’t. She didn’t because she enjoys the feeling of power she gets from receiving attention from guys like this and then brutally shooting them down. It makes her feel much hotter and more desirable than she actually is in real life. She’s not there to meet men; she’s there to virtually castrate them for her own amusement.
I’m guessing here, but I’m pretty sure that nowhere in Mary’s profile did she encourage the men of PoF to send her explicit sexual propositions out of the blue. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t hold a gun to Josh’s head and force him to send a half-dozen sexually explicit harassing messages to a woman he didn’t know.
Athlone McGinnis also relies heavily on euphemism when describing Josh’s appalling behavior:
I don’t think its primarily the revenge she’s after, its the validation. She is enjoying the power she has over this guy and wielding it brutally because it shows she can maintain standards despite her weight and the doubtless numerous confidence issues that stem from it. In blowing up this guy for being too direct in his evaluation of her sexuality, she affirms the value of her own sexuality.
Oh, so he was just being “direct in his evaluation of her sexuality.”
In short: “I am wanted, but I have standards and can choose. I have so much agency despite my weight that I can go as far as to punish those who approach me in a way I do not like rather than simply blocking them. I’m teaching them a lesson, because I’m valuable enough to provide such lessons.
So apparently in Mr. McGinnis’ world women who are fat aren’t supposed to have agency? They’re not supposed to be able to choose? They’re supposed to drop their panties to any guy who offers to be their fuck buddy or tells them to “suck my dick?”
Also, I’m a victim bravely standing up against online bullying/harassment-look at me!”
Yeah, actually, she is. Get used to it, guys, because you’re going to see a lot more of this in the future.
This isn’t just a laughing matter for her. She needs to be able to do this in order to feel worthwhile. She has to be able to show that even she is able to maintain standards and doesn’t have to settle for just any old guy asking for any old sexual favor simply because she resembles a beached manatee.
And it’s not a laughing matter for you either, is it? You’re actually angry that a woman said no to a sexual harasser — because you don’t find her attractive. And because Josh — from his picture, a conventionally attractive, non-fat fellow — did.
Mr. McGinnis, may a fat person sit on your dreams, and crush them.
Trolls only really sound the same on the surface. But they all, unless it’s a concerted effort of attack from one site on another, have their own pet peeves and grievances.
Off-topic, but I’m closing up my writeathon now; it’s all over but the bonus sketches. Since September is homelessness and MICE, and October is wild rollicking adventure, I’m deciding not to give a set date for my next writeathon, and instead I’m doing Hurt/Comfort Bingo with Giant Robots! 😀 Feel free to take part if you wish; it’s a much narrower, much looser thing, more to keep me in writing trim than with the expectation of making money.
I’d rather just be called “Nick” – but okay…
Does that include all the yes-men who’ve enabled despots and corrupt businessmen to do unethical things? If it does, then no, it has no led to “everything good that has ever happened in the world.” Good things in the world happened because some saw injustice and actually fought against it – not the people who decided to do nothing, since they were just exacerbating the problem by acting as if it was “normal”.
Sorry if I don’t believe a single word of that sentence, given how reality actually works.
Ah yes, that old chest nut – “thought policing”. The battlecry of every obnoxious loudmouth who has felt entitled to treat others like shit…
False equivalency degrades discourse by dismissing the differences between two groups and simply lumping them into the same category. You are not saying anything of worth by just claiming they’re all right/wrong. It’s simply cowardice and intellectual laziness to just leave it at that conclusion than bother to analyze anything further.
The funny part is that everyone who has ever said that to me, in a different instance, would tell me to shut up because they dislike something I said. It’s all about FREEZE PEACH…until it’s inconvenient for you.
I’m about the freedom to express one’s self – but I don’t deny the fact it’s a two-way thing like a lot of other people. You can say what you like, but you can also be criticized by others for it. That’s how it should work, but our culture increasingly caters to those who are over-sensitive and petulant about their views to the detriment of others. That doesn’t sound like “freedom of thought” or “open-mindedness” to me – in fact, it sounds pretty authoritarian (in a very underhanded way) to me.
Yeah, I always loved it when people who went around doing the “Devil’s Advocate” thing would excuse people who have stolen or bullied me. Apparently it’s my fault for not just assuming I’m a piece of shit who deserves to be mistreated – ’cause that makes so much sense…
No one made that claim. At all.
I like Micheal Shermer as well, except I also think his adherence to Libertarianism colors his views on other issues to the point of making them invalid.
It took a while for him to admit climate change was a real thing, which seemed less out of scientific skepticism and more out of contrarian ideology. It also doesn’t help he thinks both the left-wing and the right-wing are equally hostile to science – nevermind the latter is constantly denying benefiticial research when not sabotaging such efforts while the earlier is concerned with the ethical ramifications and its overall health effects on others. But apparently we’re suppose to believe people who dislike evo-psych are as bad as people who’d ban stem cell research. Again: bull-fucking-shit.
Since others have responded to this quite well, I’ll just say you’re a fucking moron and go on…
Obviously you’ve never read 1984 and got the concept of “double-think”. Or you have, but you missed the point entirely.
LBT, is there somewhere one can donate? I mean online? I checked both your links, but I may be blind drunk.
Woah, Nick, OUT OF NOWHERE.
I believe Nick just left an angry red handprint on Uriah’s face. Ouch.
Nick – do you read Pharyngula? Shermer’s a predator.
Kittehserf, don’t know if Nick does, but I do, and I remember reading your comments there.
RE: Michael
…wow, I am so smart. I totally forgot to put the Paypal Donate button. *fixes* Ta-da! All better now.
OK for that Nick gets yoga!puppy!:
http://fyeahenglishbulldogs.tumblr.com/post/59154121931
LBT, thankee kindly. And wow that was fast.
Michael – fame at last! 😀
I knew next to nothing about Shermer before that thread. I only read the feminist issue articles on Pharyngula (well, and any with kitties) so he wasn’t much more than a name. But oy, that grenade thread …
I probably should’ve said “liked” Shermer instead – since, yes, hearing about the recent incident has made him lose just about all credulity for me. It’s the same as when Sam Harris, after ranting about all the unethical actions done due to religious belief, decided to justify torture and racial profiling as if it’s “practical” rather than just barbaric.
I’ve been told this is just a “difference of opinion” – but there’s a line that can be crossed and they both did so. Saying it’s a “difference of opinion” is a fucking insult.
It doesn’t help that when asked about it over email, he’s incredibly defensive and quick to threaten with litigious action – which seems to indicate he’s actually done these things:
http://buffalobeast.com/interview-with-famed-skeptictrigger-warning-michael-shermer/
The worst bit being this:
“An anonymous woman told another anonymous woman to tell PZ Myers that I raped her at some unspecified time in the past at some unspecified conference which was alleged reported to unspecified persons who allegedly covered up whatever it is I allegedly did.”
Because being anonymous just means you’re full of shit, right? Or maybe it’s because revealing who they are would just lead to his adamant fans harassing her constantly. That seems to happen these days when said sexual predator is well-liked by a number of people who are willfully oblivious to their actions, blaming the victim for somehow provoking the incident.
Dunno why I said “credulity” instead of just “credit”…
Kittehserf, heh, yeah, I am fame! Actually, I was reading that thread and going.. heeey, waitagodamnminute…I know who that is!
Nick, I did wonder if “like” was a typo, I should have asked.
Yeah, Shermer is … ugh. Words fail.
LOL Michael, I do that sometimes on other blogs, especially when it’s one of the kitty avatars. “Hang on, I don’t know the nym but those whiskers are familar …”
Drst:
That is pretty damn adorable! I’m more of a French Bulldog person in general, but I love puppies regardless. 😀
RE: Michael
No problem! I’d intended to make the stupid button and just forgot. Silly me.
And yes, this writeathon DID go very fast. I’m hoping to be able to do them quicker and quicker as I get stronger.
I JUST figured out freeze peach.
Well, I thought you’d never have guessed it!
How about an air-fighter French bulldog puppy?
http://youtu.be/EFqHS6B-4p8
LBT, how long will the donate-thingie work? I’ll donate regardless, but if it’s still active after payday I could donate more…. aaannd here it kicks in that I can just donate twice. I am a cabbage.
I honestly thought everyone knew about some great frozen peach desert recipe, but it was controversial, possibly because some people dislike peaches.
My family used to make amazing peach ice cream when I was a kid, 100 times better than anything you can buy commercially. I’d been meaning to look up the great freeze peaches recipe. 🙁
You’ll never guess… how much I love you for that comment. And now I want icecream.