For a certain subset of horrible men, there are few things more infuriating than the fact that women they find undesirable can turn down men for sex. For this upsets their primitive sense of justice: such women should be so grateful for any male attention, these men think, that turning down even the most boorish of men shouldn’t even be an option for them.
Consider the reactions of some of the regulars on date-rapey pickup guru Roosh V’s forum to the story of Josh and Mary on the dating site Plenty of Fish. One fine December evening, you see, Josh decided to try a little “direct game” on Mary.
That’s what the fellas on Roosh’s forum call it, anyway. The rest of us would call it sexual harassment.
Josh started off by asking Mary if she “wanted to be fuck buddies.” She said “nope,” and the conversation went downhill from there, with Josh sending a series of increasingly explicit comments to Mary, despite getting nothing but negative replies from her.
After eight messages from Josh, with the last one suggesting he would pay her $50 to “come over right now and swallow my load,” Mary turned the tables, noting that she’d been able to deduce his real identity from his PoF profile, and asking him if he wanted her to send screenshots of the chat to his mother and grandmother. He begged her not to.
As you may have already figured out, from the fact that we’re talking about this story in public, Mary did indeed pass along the screenshots, and posted them online.
Poetic justice? Not to the fellas on Roosh’s forum. Because, you see, Mary is … a fat chick.
While dismissing Josh as a “chode” with “atrocious game,” Scorpion saved most of his anger for the harassed woman:
Look how much she relishes not only shooting him down, but damaging his reputation with his own family. She’s positively intoxicated with her power. Simply spitting bad direct game is enough to unleash her vindictive fury.
“Bad direct game.” I’m pretty sure even Clarence Thomas would consider what Josh did sexual harassment.
At any point, she could have pressed a single button and blocked the man from communicating with her, but she didn’t. She didn’t because she enjoys the feeling of power she gets from receiving attention from guys like this and then brutally shooting them down. It makes her feel much hotter and more desirable than she actually is in real life. She’s not there to meet men; she’s there to virtually castrate them for her own amusement.
I’m guessing here, but I’m pretty sure that nowhere in Mary’s profile did she encourage the men of PoF to send her explicit sexual propositions out of the blue. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t hold a gun to Josh’s head and force him to send a half-dozen sexually explicit harassing messages to a woman he didn’t know.
Athlone McGinnis also relies heavily on euphemism when describing Josh’s appalling behavior:
I don’t think its primarily the revenge she’s after, its the validation. She is enjoying the power she has over this guy and wielding it brutally because it shows she can maintain standards despite her weight and the doubtless numerous confidence issues that stem from it. In blowing up this guy for being too direct in his evaluation of her sexuality, she affirms the value of her own sexuality.
Oh, so he was just being “direct in his evaluation of her sexuality.”
In short: “I am wanted, but I have standards and can choose. I have so much agency despite my weight that I can go as far as to punish those who approach me in a way I do not like rather than simply blocking them. I’m teaching them a lesson, because I’m valuable enough to provide such lessons.
So apparently in Mr. McGinnis’ world women who are fat aren’t supposed to have agency? They’re not supposed to be able to choose? They’re supposed to drop their panties to any guy who offers to be their fuck buddy or tells them to “suck my dick?”
Also, I’m a victim bravely standing up against online bullying/harassment-look at me!”
Yeah, actually, she is. Get used to it, guys, because you’re going to see a lot more of this in the future.
This isn’t just a laughing matter for her. She needs to be able to do this in order to feel worthwhile. She has to be able to show that even she is able to maintain standards and doesn’t have to settle for just any old guy asking for any old sexual favor simply because she resembles a beached manatee.
And it’s not a laughing matter for you either, is it? You’re actually angry that a woman said no to a sexual harasser — because you don’t find her attractive. And because Josh — from his picture, a conventionally attractive, non-fat fellow — did.
Mr. McGinnis, may a fat person sit on your dreams, and crush them.
Anonymous Asshole: “There is a world of difference between a victim asking the question and other people demanding that victims act a certain way.”
Yes. But misery has not done that second thing. You are putting that on him/her, for reasons that are not clear to me.
Misery has done worse than that Misery has said that failing to entertain what people have made good arguments is a fruitless exercise in counterproductive speculation is a moral imperative, and those who fail to do it are actually hindering the process of stemming rape.
Vicious Pit Bull Fail for the win! ::squeee::
Yes, actually, I skipped that deserved apology. I’m sorry I called you a bully, LBT. That was uncalled for.
So hanging around people who don’t like you is a thing you want to do?
“Misery has done worse than that Misery has said that failing to entertain what people have made good arguments is a fruitless exercise in counterproductive speculation is a moral imperative, and those who fail to do it are actually hindering the process of stemming rape.”
Where did misery do that?
AnonWank:
You’re mansplaining rape and “prevention” to a group of men and women, some of whom have been raped, and all of whom, among the women, are all too aware of how rape culture and blaming hits OUR lives. Not yours: ours. You’re called out on this and promptly start whining about being bullied, despite all your prior claims to be an ally.
Seriously, if you can’t stop and think about what you’re doing, just go fuck yourself.
Raul, you are really pathetic, you know that? Like, I almost pity you. Almost.
He “quite likes us” but has been lurking, waiting for the opportunity to avenge himself. Under a different ‘nym. And even though he acknowledges he was wrong the last time.
This is not something that a decent human being does.
But we’re the bad ones. Bullies.
You know those red flags misery mentioned? I’m seeing a whole bunch of them, like a whole fucking sea of red flags for abusive, whipsawing behavior. And it ain’t the regulars who are waving them.
AG, you are displaying classic abuser behavior. If pointing that out makes me a bully, then I am a proud bully.
RE: AnonymousGuy
However, I am being as civil as I can
No you aren’t, and it doesn’t matter. It’s not your civility that’s getting up my ass. It’s your overweening arrogance and constant explaining. Badly.
I really like you guys.
Seeing as you called me a bully, I highly doubt that.
I accept that you will never like me because of my point of view.
Yup!
But that doesn’t mean I have to leave,
Yes, because you know, we’re all so glad you’re here, and you’re contributing so wonderfully to the conversation. What exactly do you get out of commenting on a site where you’ve pissed everyone off?
unless of course I get banned. I’m not sure under what rules that would occur (other than perhaps the sockpuppet thing, which I understand you guys are quite het up about but I have a feeling Dave might be a bit more forgiving of; we’ll see)
Sockpuppeting is the only ironclad rule I’ve ever seen here. Dude, the smart money says your ass is grass.
The little try-hard wants us to pity him. I thought mr. al was pathetic, but this kid may be worse.
I am not mansplaining rape, and I’m not whining. I’m defending one specific assertion made by misery (that victims can and do resist violence with various strategies that have various success rates), accepting that this assertion is considered very rude in this community, and pointing out the obvious and admitted bullying behavior of the commentariat of this blog.
Wait, wait a minute. You actually posted this:
“With respect, I do not need anyone’s consent to stand up to bullying.”
After admitting that you started shit here to feel empowered. You started shit up here with the intention of provoking strong reactions. That’s wanking.
I’m finding this really fucking creepy.
Misery: What are these magic bullets which Academic Security have figured out?
In the Netherlands we have radio announcements against ghostriders, which I pointed out purely as an example of something you can do to prevent drunk drivers from killing people.
Here what we do is arrest them.
Follow me on this: Someone see’s a “drunk” driver. They report it. The police then go and pull them over. I suppose, in the meantime, and APB could go out, on every radio station which has coverage in that area, but…
Why?
Also, that requires drivers to all listen to the radio (which I am certain would please the radio stations), but means that anyone who isn’t listening to the radio runs the risk of being blamed if they weren’t listening.
So it’s a shit analogy.
Wanking, now gaslighting…
“I’m defending one specific assertion made by misery (that victims can and do resist violence with various strategies that have various success rates), accepting that this assertion is considered very rude in this community, and pointing out the obvious and admitted bullying behavior of the commentariat of this blog.”
We’re being absusive? No, no matter how many times you use the word bully, we’ll know you came here to provoke regulars for some weird thrill seeking shit.
I don’t know what David will decide, and it is ultimately his decision which I respect. He’s got a pretty good moral compass.
But I will say that I think a decent person would apologize and go away. No matter what you were trying to do, AG, you have shit all over a bunch of people here — people that you say you like. I wouldn’t like to see how you treat people you don’t like.
RE: AnonymousGuy
See, this is where you’re not getting it. I DID resist my rape. It’s why I didn’t end up pregnant. And don’t get me wrong, knowing that I managed to keep myself from becoming a teenage single mother gave me some comfort during those dark, miserable days.
BUT, that was luck. That wasn’t strength of character on my part, or something other people can learn, because every rapist is different, and every person is different.
THAT is why I’m pissed at you. You’re pretty much taking the only control I had, and you’re turning it into argument material. You’re arguing about something you have no personal experience with, and don’t know anything about. Also, you deal with being called on it very badly.
And now, on top of it, you’re refusing to leave, because this has been healing for you or some shit. Well, congratulations, buddy, I’m so glad for you.
Anonymous Asshole: Well, I’m not going to argue about whether the behavior towards misery and me on this thread constitutes bullying
No, you’re just going to make the accusation and pretend it wasn’t you that left the turd in the punchbowl.
Kitteh — well I do have this little alien // gnome thing that has hair (algae)…it’s rather cute really.
Pecunium — somewhere buried in my brain is the testicle smash, I’m not sure I could actually do it even if obviously warranted. And by that point you’re already being assaulted and we aren’t talking prevention.
And the supposedly logical “prevention” tips…would have me never staying there. Because OMGS you’re male! And even more awesome in person and I can actually relax there but MALE!!
Point here is that staying with my partner is supposedly safe, and wasn’t, staying with dude I met online is supposedly OMGS WHAT ARE YOU THINKING dangerous and wasn’t (though, what was I thinking, you have a singing Russian crocodile! *dies of laughter* I’m not going to stop finding that funny any time soon, thanks 🙂 )
AnonGuy — you can add me to that list, though you insulted me by completely ignoring my question as to what I should’ve done, not by directly insulting me.
RE: hellkell
I’m finding this really fucking creepy.
You and me both. This is the creepiest healing I’ve ever encountered. And I knew about the therapeutic uses of maggots.
Anonymous Asshole: I don’t think I called you a bully. I did call LBT a bully in a moment of weakness. In general it’s better to speak of “bullying” which is a behavior, and not to call people names. But I do occasionally slip up on that, I admit.
So… we are bullying you, but you wouldn’t say we are bullies.
Got it. You’re an idiot, and an asshole.
OMG I was looking at old medical literature about maggots just the other day.
This is definitely creepier.
Oh, this comment is perfecto, LBT:
“You and me both. This is the creepiest healing I’ve ever encountered. And I knew about the therapeutic uses of maggots.”
Well, it may be as you say and sockpuppeting is 1) what I did and 2) an ironclad immediate ban. In which case, obviously my ass is indeed grass. There is nothing about sockpuppeting in the comment policy but my understanding of the policy is that it’s designed to prevent people from avoiding moderation, appearing to be multiple people (which I admit I accidentally did on one thread, but I think it’s quite clear there was no intent there), or trying to defeat an outright ban. I was never on moderation as RaulGroom (except when I first got here of course) and I was just trying to avoid what to me was a stressful and upsetting situation. I certainly never said anything banworthy.
It is the case that I’ve probably posted too much on this thread according to the “don’t be tedious” rule but as I said I’ve tried my best to be friendly and civil despite the tone of comments directed toward me and misery, which include what I think will be an embarrassing amount of nasty name-calling and generally unattractive behavior when you look back and see what went down.
In any case it’s almost my bedtime but I have a weird hope that there is about to be a crack of light and some kind of rapproachment with someone here, so I’ll stick around a few more minutes.
We’re not just bullies, we’re herd creatures. Isn’t that what girlwriteswhat said about women? Or one of the special snowflakes.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.