For a certain subset of horrible men, there are few things more infuriating than the fact that women they find undesirable can turn down men for sex. For this upsets their primitive sense of justice: such women should be so grateful for any male attention, these men think, that turning down even the most boorish of men shouldn’t even be an option for them.
Consider the reactions of some of the regulars on date-rapey pickup guru Roosh V’s forum to the story of Josh and Mary on the dating site Plenty of Fish. One fine December evening, you see, Josh decided to try a little “direct game” on Mary.
That’s what the fellas on Roosh’s forum call it, anyway. The rest of us would call it sexual harassment.
Josh started off by asking Mary if she “wanted to be fuck buddies.” She said “nope,” and the conversation went downhill from there, with Josh sending a series of increasingly explicit comments to Mary, despite getting nothing but negative replies from her.
After eight messages from Josh, with the last one suggesting he would pay her $50 to “come over right now and swallow my load,” Mary turned the tables, noting that she’d been able to deduce his real identity from his PoF profile, and asking him if he wanted her to send screenshots of the chat to his mother and grandmother. He begged her not to.
As you may have already figured out, from the fact that we’re talking about this story in public, Mary did indeed pass along the screenshots, and posted them online.
Poetic justice? Not to the fellas on Roosh’s forum. Because, you see, Mary is … a fat chick.
While dismissing Josh as a “chode” with “atrocious game,” Scorpion saved most of his anger for the harassed woman:
Look how much she relishes not only shooting him down, but damaging his reputation with his own family. She’s positively intoxicated with her power. Simply spitting bad direct game is enough to unleash her vindictive fury.
“Bad direct game.” I’m pretty sure even Clarence Thomas would consider what Josh did sexual harassment.
At any point, she could have pressed a single button and blocked the man from communicating with her, but she didn’t. She didn’t because she enjoys the feeling of power she gets from receiving attention from guys like this and then brutally shooting them down. It makes her feel much hotter and more desirable than she actually is in real life. She’s not there to meet men; she’s there to virtually castrate them for her own amusement.
I’m guessing here, but I’m pretty sure that nowhere in Mary’s profile did she encourage the men of PoF to send her explicit sexual propositions out of the blue. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t hold a gun to Josh’s head and force him to send a half-dozen sexually explicit harassing messages to a woman he didn’t know.
Athlone McGinnis also relies heavily on euphemism when describing Josh’s appalling behavior:
I don’t think its primarily the revenge she’s after, its the validation. She is enjoying the power she has over this guy and wielding it brutally because it shows she can maintain standards despite her weight and the doubtless numerous confidence issues that stem from it. In blowing up this guy for being too direct in his evaluation of her sexuality, she affirms the value of her own sexuality.
Oh, so he was just being “direct in his evaluation of her sexuality.”
In short: “I am wanted, but I have standards and can choose. I have so much agency despite my weight that I can go as far as to punish those who approach me in a way I do not like rather than simply blocking them. I’m teaching them a lesson, because I’m valuable enough to provide such lessons.
So apparently in Mr. McGinnis’ world women who are fat aren’t supposed to have agency? They’re not supposed to be able to choose? They’re supposed to drop their panties to any guy who offers to be their fuck buddy or tells them to “suck my dick?”
Also, I’m a victim bravely standing up against online bullying/harassment-look at me!”
Yeah, actually, she is. Get used to it, guys, because you’re going to see a lot more of this in the future.
This isn’t just a laughing matter for her. She needs to be able to do this in order to feel worthwhile. She has to be able to show that even she is able to maintain standards and doesn’t have to settle for just any old guy asking for any old sexual favor simply because she resembles a beached manatee.
And it’s not a laughing matter for you either, is it? You’re actually angry that a woman said no to a sexual harasser — because you don’t find her attractive. And because Josh — from his picture, a conventionally attractive, non-fat fellow — did.
Mr. McGinnis, may a fat person sit on your dreams, and crush them.
Given how well you two are tag-teaming: Do you live 11 km away from each other?
QFT!
“In fact, is there anything I’ve said that anyone actually disagrees with?”
Seriously? XD
@katz, everything I said so far has been consistent with my initial post. I’m not backpedaling.
@alex, rape prevention advice might be a loaded term but it also allows for broad interpretation. Virtually all your posts zero in on one particular way to read my posts that is intentionally the most unfair reading of it. Why try to make me an enemy?
Okay, I’m sick of being angry, so I’ma just post awesome scans of Amanda “the Wall” Waller. Who’s with me?
“Given how well you two are tag-teaming: Do you live 11 km away from each other?”
I’ve been wondering that . . .
@misery, Yeah, never mind the countless victims of bullying who appealed to authorities and nothing was done.
katz – Ceiling Cat be praised I wasn’t drinking my tea when I read that!
The term “anti-intellectual” was inserted into this by saintnick86, who applied it semi-unapologetically to himself. That’s the only reason it was ever a part of the discussion and it’s very strange to get butthurt about the fact we have responded to the use of that term.
I personally think anti-intellectualism gets a bad rap and has its place. But this isn’t that. This is a type of herd behavior wherein people with inadmissable opinions are bullied into retracting them. It occurs on almost all blogs, often with the support of the moderator. We are lucky that in this case Dave himself is not a bully and has a light touch, although of course it is his right to put a stop to this is he deems it contrary to the mission of the blog at any point.
@katz, I can’t write so quickly that AnonymousGuy could be a sockpuppet of mine, sorry. 😮
Do we? I don’t have access to that information but it would be a cool coincidence. I’m a Richmonder.
Ugh, please stop.
Misery and AnonDude need to stop digging.
And now we’re going to play the martyr card. Does anyone have bingo yet?
I may be displaying an Icelandic IP address as I sometimes use an Icelandic server as a proxy, but I am 99% sure that is not currently the case.
No seriously, fellas — what the fuck are you trying to say? Just answer the question. By the by, are you fellas dorm roomies or something?
@misery, Nice try, dude. But if all you meant was being aware of red flags? That’s what you should have said to begin with. It does NOT fall under sexual assault prevention tips. But you went on and on and on about how what we’re saying is “purely false”, “anti-intellectual”, “purely emotionality”, and “intellectual dishonesty”. We’re not making you an enemy; you made it of yourself.
AnonDude, you are hardly being bullied.
Anyways, my nerves are shot due to some events today so I was on the edge and it’s 5am here, so I want to apologize to David for hijacking this thread with this conversation which I shouldn’t have done. I don’t think I said anything bad tbh, but oh well. You have to expect some harsh language and some condescension when being so openly hostile to me anyway. *shrug*
“Misery and AnonDude need to stop digging.”
I don’t think they know how.
Why make yourself an enemy? It’s not like we haven’t made it clear what the problem is with what you’re saying and why.
You know, AnonymousGuy, you could always just leave. I realize you might see that as letting the bullies win, but do you honestly think we’re going to come to a mutual understanding?
Amanda Waller stands down supervillains unflinchingly.
I’m sorry, what’s the question? I would love to answer one.
“You have to expect some harsh language and some condescension when being so openly hostile to me anyway. *shrug*”
Cry me a river, asshat.
Have you considered the possibility that you are a sockpuppet of him?
Why don’t you leave? There’s a question.
We really don’t need “allies” like you.