For a certain subset of horrible men, there are few things more infuriating than the fact that women they find undesirable can turn down men for sex. For this upsets their primitive sense of justice: such women should be so grateful for any male attention, these men think, that turning down even the most boorish of men shouldn’t even be an option for them.
Consider the reactions of some of the regulars on date-rapey pickup guru Roosh V’s forum to the story of Josh and Mary on the dating site Plenty of Fish. One fine December evening, you see, Josh decided to try a little “direct game” on Mary.
That’s what the fellas on Roosh’s forum call it, anyway. The rest of us would call it sexual harassment.
Josh started off by asking Mary if she “wanted to be fuck buddies.” She said “nope,” and the conversation went downhill from there, with Josh sending a series of increasingly explicit comments to Mary, despite getting nothing but negative replies from her.
After eight messages from Josh, with the last one suggesting he would pay her $50 to “come over right now and swallow my load,” Mary turned the tables, noting that she’d been able to deduce his real identity from his PoF profile, and asking him if he wanted her to send screenshots of the chat to his mother and grandmother. He begged her not to.
As you may have already figured out, from the fact that we’re talking about this story in public, Mary did indeed pass along the screenshots, and posted them online.
Poetic justice? Not to the fellas on Roosh’s forum. Because, you see, Mary is … a fat chick.
While dismissing Josh as a “chode” with “atrocious game,” Scorpion saved most of his anger for the harassed woman:
Look how much she relishes not only shooting him down, but damaging his reputation with his own family. She’s positively intoxicated with her power. Simply spitting bad direct game is enough to unleash her vindictive fury.
“Bad direct game.” I’m pretty sure even Clarence Thomas would consider what Josh did sexual harassment.
At any point, she could have pressed a single button and blocked the man from communicating with her, but she didn’t. She didn’t because she enjoys the feeling of power she gets from receiving attention from guys like this and then brutally shooting them down. It makes her feel much hotter and more desirable than she actually is in real life. She’s not there to meet men; she’s there to virtually castrate them for her own amusement.
I’m guessing here, but I’m pretty sure that nowhere in Mary’s profile did she encourage the men of PoF to send her explicit sexual propositions out of the blue. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t hold a gun to Josh’s head and force him to send a half-dozen sexually explicit harassing messages to a woman he didn’t know.
Athlone McGinnis also relies heavily on euphemism when describing Josh’s appalling behavior:
I don’t think its primarily the revenge she’s after, its the validation. She is enjoying the power she has over this guy and wielding it brutally because it shows she can maintain standards despite her weight and the doubtless numerous confidence issues that stem from it. In blowing up this guy for being too direct in his evaluation of her sexuality, she affirms the value of her own sexuality.
Oh, so he was just being “direct in his evaluation of her sexuality.”
In short: “I am wanted, but I have standards and can choose. I have so much agency despite my weight that I can go as far as to punish those who approach me in a way I do not like rather than simply blocking them. I’m teaching them a lesson, because I’m valuable enough to provide such lessons.
So apparently in Mr. McGinnis’ world women who are fat aren’t supposed to have agency? They’re not supposed to be able to choose? They’re supposed to drop their panties to any guy who offers to be their fuck buddy or tells them to “suck my dick?”
Also, I’m a victim bravely standing up against online bullying/harassment-look at me!”
Yeah, actually, she is. Get used to it, guys, because you’re going to see a lot more of this in the future.
This isn’t just a laughing matter for her. She needs to be able to do this in order to feel worthwhile. She has to be able to show that even she is able to maintain standards and doesn’t have to settle for just any old guy asking for any old sexual favor simply because she resembles a beached manatee.
And it’s not a laughing matter for you either, is it? You’re actually angry that a woman said no to a sexual harasser — because you don’t find her attractive. And because Josh — from his picture, a conventionally attractive, non-fat fellow — did.
Mr. McGinnis, may a fat person sit on your dreams, and crush them.
@kittehserf, Isn’t it just?
As someone else said upthread, you don’t to play the “one of us” card, and then spout this bullshit. It won’t fly.
And I’m with hippodameia; how can I avoid being on the same road as a drunk driver?
Yes, why don’t we tell people who’ve been hit by drunks that they should just stop driving?
I guess we’ll get lots of tips* on not being hit by drunk drivers and no mention that there really are real campaigns to stop people drunk driving, and they do make a difference.
Can’t go telling dudes not to rape though, that’d never work.
*Eventually. Maybe.
Or – as it would be in my case since I don’t drive – why don’t we tell people to not ever be in a car if they don’t want to get hit by a drunk-driver?
@kittehserf, sorry, I phrased that sentence the wrong way.
And for the comparison with drunk driving: you will actually be informed on the radio that there are ghostriders and such. Furthermore there are cars that you can only drive once you prove to the internal computer that you are sober, which itself is a prevention tactic.
Don’t walk on the sidewalk, you never know.
Alex – I don’t drive either. Maybe we should be told never to walk anywhere a drunk driver might pass?
Yes, if you’re in a car you’ve obviously accepted the risk and will be at fault if something happens.
Has anyone mentioned the First Rule of Holes yet?
Of course not! Rapists are an unstoppable force! Like tornadoes, volcanoes, and tsunamis and shit.
I’ve never heard this mythic ghostrider bulletin. I guess I’m not in elite assfax circles.
Ninjaed!
“Furthermore there are cars that you can only drive once you prove to the internal computer that you are sober, which itself is a prevention tactic.”
Way to shift the goalposts. That isn’t aimed at victims of drunk drivers. It’s intended to prevent people driving drunk.
Oh, and you can lay off with the condescending “you’ll hear on the radio” bullshit, too.
“I want to know how I can keep that drunk driver from careening into my lane in the first place. How do I control that drunk’s behavior?”
Obviously, you can’t. Which is why the question is asked, to try to bait me into giving out information about which roads to avoid. Which is, of course, what a rape apologist would do in my situation, because he’s making a completely different set of assertions than I am.
But we’re not going there. I know this territory very well. I watch people get bullied online a lot, and I know where to step when I’m defending them. I’m savvier than your usual antagonist, and I am myself immune to bullying.
WTF is a ghostrider?
“Furthermore there are cars that you can only drive once you prove to the internal computer that you are sober, which itself is a prevention tactic.”
And who is that prevention tactic applied to? The drunk or the people the drunk might hit?
Aaaaagh blockquote monster!
Exactly, kittehserf! And since that could be, well, almost anywhere, I guess we just have to stay inside and never go out.
cloudiah: this is all I could find http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost-riding
Responsible for between 2 and 8 deaths. Alert the media!
“WTF is a ghostrider?”
http://youtu.be/lxn48wSiCzg
Not really.
” I’m savvier than your usual antagonist, and I am myself immune to bullying.”
In your dreams, but do continue. Why is it that I can’t control a drunk driver’s behavior but can somehow magically control a rapist?
Alex – and it’ll still be our fault if a drunk driver crashes into our house, because we didn’t employ Optimal Security Plan 45 (a) paragraph 7.