For a certain subset of horrible men, there are few things more infuriating than the fact that women they find undesirable can turn down men for sex. For this upsets their primitive sense of justice: such women should be so grateful for any male attention, these men think, that turning down even the most boorish of men shouldn’t even be an option for them.
Consider the reactions of some of the regulars on date-rapey pickup guru Roosh V’s forum to the story of Josh and Mary on the dating site Plenty of Fish. One fine December evening, you see, Josh decided to try a little “direct game” on Mary.
That’s what the fellas on Roosh’s forum call it, anyway. The rest of us would call it sexual harassment.
Josh started off by asking Mary if she “wanted to be fuck buddies.” She said “nope,” and the conversation went downhill from there, with Josh sending a series of increasingly explicit comments to Mary, despite getting nothing but negative replies from her.
After eight messages from Josh, with the last one suggesting he would pay her $50 to “come over right now and swallow my load,” Mary turned the tables, noting that she’d been able to deduce his real identity from his PoF profile, and asking him if he wanted her to send screenshots of the chat to his mother and grandmother. He begged her not to.
As you may have already figured out, from the fact that we’re talking about this story in public, Mary did indeed pass along the screenshots, and posted them online.
Poetic justice? Not to the fellas on Roosh’s forum. Because, you see, Mary is … a fat chick.
While dismissing Josh as a “chode” with “atrocious game,” Scorpion saved most of his anger for the harassed woman:
Look how much she relishes not only shooting him down, but damaging his reputation with his own family. She’s positively intoxicated with her power. Simply spitting bad direct game is enough to unleash her vindictive fury.
“Bad direct game.” I’m pretty sure even Clarence Thomas would consider what Josh did sexual harassment.
At any point, she could have pressed a single button and blocked the man from communicating with her, but she didn’t. She didn’t because she enjoys the feeling of power she gets from receiving attention from guys like this and then brutally shooting them down. It makes her feel much hotter and more desirable than she actually is in real life. She’s not there to meet men; she’s there to virtually castrate them for her own amusement.
I’m guessing here, but I’m pretty sure that nowhere in Mary’s profile did she encourage the men of PoF to send her explicit sexual propositions out of the blue. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t hold a gun to Josh’s head and force him to send a half-dozen sexually explicit harassing messages to a woman he didn’t know.
Athlone McGinnis also relies heavily on euphemism when describing Josh’s appalling behavior:
I don’t think its primarily the revenge she’s after, its the validation. She is enjoying the power she has over this guy and wielding it brutally because it shows she can maintain standards despite her weight and the doubtless numerous confidence issues that stem from it. In blowing up this guy for being too direct in his evaluation of her sexuality, she affirms the value of her own sexuality.
Oh, so he was just being “direct in his evaluation of her sexuality.”
In short: “I am wanted, but I have standards and can choose. I have so much agency despite my weight that I can go as far as to punish those who approach me in a way I do not like rather than simply blocking them. I’m teaching them a lesson, because I’m valuable enough to provide such lessons.
So apparently in Mr. McGinnis’ world women who are fat aren’t supposed to have agency? They’re not supposed to be able to choose? They’re supposed to drop their panties to any guy who offers to be their fuck buddy or tells them to “suck my dick?”
Also, I’m a victim bravely standing up against online bullying/harassment-look at me!”
Yeah, actually, she is. Get used to it, guys, because you’re going to see a lot more of this in the future.
This isn’t just a laughing matter for her. She needs to be able to do this in order to feel worthwhile. She has to be able to show that even she is able to maintain standards and doesn’t have to settle for just any old guy asking for any old sexual favor simply because she resembles a beached manatee.
And it’s not a laughing matter for you either, is it? You’re actually angry that a woman said no to a sexual harasser — because you don’t find her attractive. And because Josh — from his picture, a conventionally attractive, non-fat fellow — did.
Mr. McGinnis, may a fat person sit on your dreams, and crush them.
Why am I not surprised to find out that these folks reacted to this story this way? Of course, if she’d been a supermodel, then she would’ve just been exalting in her position of control over the cock carousel, or some such bullshit. So it’s clear that the real point, from their PoV, is that women who say “no” are wrong.
Someone else is going to have to change those babies’ diapers, my hands are full just with my twins.
She is enjoying the power she has over this guy
Or she’s waiting to see if the asshole has a shred of self awareness and will stop harassing her while she first gets uncomfortable, then miserable, then gets pissed off and fights back.
I’m nearly certain this was not what was going through her mind, but even if it was? I would totally be fistbumping her for it, because where in that is there anything objectionable? Every human being regardless of their body is allowed to have standards about who they will and will not fuck, will and will not talk to, and gets to react to unwanted pressure and intrusions into their lives as they choose. And yes, if you’re an asshole who is sexually harassing someone, the person you’re trying to victimize gets to teach you a fucking lesson about why it’s a shitty thing to do.
She needs to be able to do this in order to feel worthwhile
No, she doesn’t. That she reacted this way after enough provocation indicates she recognized her own right to live unharrassed and her worth as a human being long before this loser showed up in her inbox.
Also I’m pretty fucking sure that pleasant messages from a decent human being would do more to make anyone feel more worthwhile than having to threaten to tell the asshole harassing you that you’re going to out him in public because he won’t fucking leave you alone.
Ugh. Ugh. UGH.
“If you think fat people have no self control, consider the fact that they haven’t killed you. Yet.” — Miss Conduct.
Wow… Total props to that woman. That was 5 noes in a row before she did anything. Don’t PUAs have any sort of “three strikes” thing?
I’m confused about why they made such a big deal about her sending things to the dudes mother and grandmother, though, calling it an “appeal to the power of modern womanhood” or something… I’m pretty sure variations of “do you kiss your mother with that mouth/what would your grandmother say?” have been around as long as mothers have.
When internet anonymity backfires…
In kitten news, Pantalaimon (current name of tabby) likes to get up on my desk, and I keep forgetting to close my laptop. When I came home he was in the middle of playing Civilization IV. No joke.
Currently he’s playing “Harass my sister as she goes about her business”.
In particular, he likes to attack her fluffy tail.
Kitten picks, so you know who I’m talking about:
Pantalaimon (nee Thorn, nee Frost, possibly will be Thorn again):
http://i1301.photobucket.com/albums/ag110/hdloraj/Facebook/Mobile%20Uploads/1236021_10200512861369336_702758543_n.jpg
Petco gave me the wrong paperwork, so I thought he was his (littermate) sister at first.
Jade:
http://i1301.photobucket.com/albums/ag110/hdloraj/DSCN0003_zps9911b68c.jpg
It’s Leonard Nimoy’s soothing voice. Guarantee.
I read the thread. There’s… a lot worse stuff there than what David quoted.
Of course, they found her facebook.
“No problem, bro. I figured since she wants to dig up people’s fb profiles, the same can be done to her. I would like to see one of our master trolls take a crack at her.”
Civ IV? Wow. Mine only want to play Fruit Ninja.
Ye gods, no, they’re doxxing her? No, dudes, the parallel thing would be to tell her family what she did, not sic trolls on her.
He’s terrible at it, though. He’d only founded one city.
(Really, I’m not joking. I come home from work to find I’d left my laptop open–I’m not used to having cats here–and Civilization is playing with one city in the background.)
Re: OP: I really hope they don’t go after her, but I don’t see why they wouldn’t.
(Also, if you are willing to pay money not to have your internet conversations sent to your mother… I mean, I understand not wanting your parents to see, but if you are willing to pay money…)
Pantalaimon – “I’m sexy and I know it!”
That’s some serious cute you got going on there, wordsp1nner!
@thekidwiththereplaceablehead
Ugh. Fuck those guys.
“Hey, baby, do you want to see my belleh spots?”
Now, that’s a move that will get me every time.
Hey look, another woman intoxicated with her own power, in a spousal support case nonetheless. Definite proof of the totalitarian fascist feminist government and legal system of our current worldwide matriarchy.
http://www.politicususa.com/2013/05/07/ca-woman-forced-pay-spousal-support-convicted-raping-daughter.html
No, I want to stick my face in there and make motorboat noises! My own cats attempt to rip my brain out of my skull when I try it, though I could get away with it when they were kittens!
;nuyvliyerskujhb;olnoin
Founded 4000 BC
testing
Sorry, I’ve just been having a really hard time trying to comment this week. . . .
Good for her in putting that asshole in his place, and I hope she doesn’t get trolled too bad–and that if she does, she’ll also deal with it with the aplomb she’s seen here.
What these assholes don’t realize is that blocking doesn’t necessarily work. I’ve had at least two people continue following me even after blocking–one of them actually insisted that he was coming after me BECAUSE I’d blocked him. The perceived unfairness, he claimed, was why he kept pursuing me.
Not that it’s news that the folks under Roosh are cockbites.
“Just block him” is just a reiteration of the old idea that it’s the harassed person’s job to remove zirself from the problem, like in school when you were told to just ignore the bullies and they’ll stop (did that ever actually work?). We have no paradigm that the person who’s bothering you maybe ought to be held accountable for bothering you…although, strangely, we do have a paradigm that you ought to be held accountable if you’re rude or “unreasonable” or hurt someone’s feelings in the process of getting rid of the harasser.
I actually kinda grok the idea that there’s a fat chick out there luring men with her sexy fatness and when they get out of line and start treating her like shit she smacks them the hell down. That’s awesome. There should be more. It would be even more awesome if her FB is some kind of honeypot set up to lure trolls. Fingers crossed.
RE: katz
I actually just reblogged something about that on tumblr. I’ve noticed that pretty much, when bullying happens, a lot of people just take the stance of the littlest effort, with the assumption that passivity or stoicism will solve a problem, rather than action. It’s always bothered me.
Interesting that she should have just blocked the guy who sought her out, rather than punishing him for bad behavior, but the appropriate response for Rooshers is to seek her out and then punish her.
Though I do wish she’d at least blurred his mother and granny’s names before releasing the screenshots. They were innocent bystanders. I’m assuming she’s the one who publicized the story. Not that an appropriate response is to troll her. How shocking that a Roosh board has more than one “master troll.”