Above, a picture that’s been floating around online for a little while, helpfully meme-ified by Manception on the AgainstMensRights subreddit.
Below, a picture of an anti-abortion protestor at the Texas State Capitol that Amanda Marcotte posted on Pandagon a while back under the title Silent Mansplaining. Which pretty much sums it up.
Have any of you run across any similar photographic evidence of real-world man-activism you’d like to share?
@Marie — no, it doesn’t bug me. I just wondered if I missed an announcement, and if you were feeling all right.
I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling great. If it helps, I give you The Puggleship of the Ring.
@falconer
D’aww. The puggleship of the ring is adorable.
I could kinda vent about my family troubles if you guys don’t mind, but they’re part of the reason my commenting here has been so flip-floppy recently. (like, not here at all and then I come back for a lot and then not here, ect ect).
If it makes you feel better to vent, I don’t mind if you do, but I’m just me and I’ll tell you up front I probably can’t offer anything more than a virtual shoulder to cry on and cute pix. Also donuts (regular and gluten-free) and no-contact hugs.
I wouldn’t mind listening to some ranting. Ranting is an art form I respect. Do it right and you feel like a supervillian :<
Thanks for all the advice, everyone. I'll let you know how Operation: Cookies goes tomorrow.
@M Dubz – Thanks! Embarrassingly, I had that article up in another tab the whole time; I’d just missed the bit on political alignment, haha.
While the researchers are apparently incapable of putting out their research in PDF form (Christ, who sends out Word files?!), they did control for family size as a variable, which rules out what I thought might be the case.
Interestinger and interestinger… and yet, this could partially explain why my little teenage brother’s morphing into such an asshole these days! (But really I’m pretty sure the big reason is that my dad models the asshole behavior and my mom won’t say anything against it *sadface*)
1) Ok LBT, I had kinda figured, and uh, back when that would’ve been relevant I may’ve need page 5…don’t exactly get out these days
2) *pops into discussion that’s been dropped* cuz my comment isn’t really about fit-to-freak’s comments but zir point, and not to put him in the spot but I can’t imagine dealing with me is exactly easy for pecunium, so yeah, I can get a certain level of “I wish ze wasn’t ill but at least ze isn’t LIKE THAT”…of course, he actually cares and I’m not sure I’d take it well from my relatives (please teleport me coffee, I just got up, and really need to do a water change and do not have the energy to find my glasses [I can see acceptably well at the <2' to my screen])
3) I had a three…OH! I want a skink! Those should be local here, though endangered, yeah, but northern New Haven county? *pouts* I wanna see skink! (Yes I have a think for reptiles amphipens fish and other scaled slithery and swimming things…my mother only allows fully aquatic species or there'd be snakes, at minimum)
4) send coffee, please. And maybe someone willing to do my water change for me?
@falconer/diresloth
Thanks. Guess I’ll take the opportunity to vent then, though I’m not sure if anyone here’s going to have advice.
Idk, basically the past couple months I’ve been having problem with my dad’s wife/ my stepmom (who I’ve earlier referred to as my dad’s fiance, since that’s what she was then.) Mostly she’s just really sexist and homophobic. She especially seems to have a problem with me wearing revealing clothes (less clothing in summer! The horror!) and was going on about how ‘her kids were innocent’ and I’m “a beautiful woman I should respect my body”. She also doesn’t know I’m gay, since no way I was telling her after she revealed herself to be a homophobic jerk.
I go over to her house to see my dad and brother, who live there, so it’s kinda the only place I can see them :/ It’s just so fucking stressful whenever I’m over there. TBH, I think the only thing to do is tell her she’s making me as uncomfortable as hell, though that probably won’t help cuz I know she’ll just default to “but everyone can have their own opinions” which yeah, is true, but her opinions happen to be 1) creepy 2) hateful and 3) making me as uncomfortable as hell.
Anyway, not sure what to say, but thanks for letting me vent.
@dustydeste
🙁 That sucks. Jedi hugs offered. Sadly no advice I can think of.
@Argenti Aertheri
::sends virtual coffee:
Thanks Marie but real coffee has been procured! Also, cute ratties, but I meant EA’s plague rats cuz more plague rats! *rat claws!* but you knew that because MORE PLAGUE RATS!
You try talking to your father?
Marie: Does your dad know that you’re gay? If he does, then he needs to be told to intervene when his wife is saying something toxic in your presence–he should be willing to do that much for you, at least, whether or not you actually reveal your orientation to her. If not, it may–MAY, because I don’t know the rest of your situation, and so am really, really not saying this must be the case–be time to come out to him in a controlled fashion, away from the stepmom, so that he can understand why this has been so hurtful to you.
To some extent, you need to make it clear to him that her conduct is going to mean you’re limiting your contact with him–either seeing him away from her, or being ready to walk out of family functions the moment she steps out of line.
The other option–and I’ll warn you, this is potentially nuclear–is to go full-throttle the other direction. Make HER uncomfortable when you visit. Wear whatever you want, and if she complains about it, smile sweetly and say, “Your concerns have been noted and given all due consideration, thank you,” and then adjust the clothing a bit in the ‘wrong’ direction. And then introduce them to your current girlfriend (this is even better if you’ve got some women friends who are willing the play the role of “Marie’s girlfriend of the week” for snits and giggles). Make it clear that it doesn’t matter if she’s homophobic as hell, you’re just going to completely disregard her as a source of valid information.
And, please note. This advice? Worth exactly what you’ve paid for it, so please, if you don’t think any of it’ll work for you, then don’t feel shy about saying so.
@Argenti Aertheri
I’ve talked to him at some point earlier, and he had my sister talk to stepmom, since she had to explain the problem to him and he thought she explained it good, but it all bounced of stepmom’s head. (on the homophobia thing. I’m the only one who’s talked to her about the slutshaming thing).
@freemage
He does. And um wow. Yeah can’t believe this never hit me. He should 🙁
I’m sourly tempted to do that one 😛
Haha XD Sadly I don’t really know if I’ll come out to her, but that one sounds like a fun plan
if I had more friendsNo, actually that was really good advice (for me). I think I’ll have to copy it and think on it 🙂 Thanks 🙂 And even though I doubt I’ll have friends play ‘pretend girlfriend of the week’ it was fun to think about 🙂
Thanks for the hugs, Marie – I’m hoping he’ll take a women’s studies course or two or at least an intro sociology course with a good prof when he gets to university next year, and maybe find some more mature friends as well, but really at this point there doesn’t seem to be much to do but hope for the best.
I’m so sorry about everything going down with your dad’s wife; I know firsthand how awkward it can be to be around family who don’t know what’s up and are spewing bigoted hatred because of course you’re just like them and hold the same opinions (they think, ever so wrongly). I don’t have any advice, but I hope it gets better for you. May I return the Jedi hugs?
I’m sorry that your stepmom is being judgmental, Marie, especially since she is comparing you to her own children.
Policing is no fun for the people being judged. I probably don’t need to say that policing clothes smacks a whole lot of rape culture and victim-blaming.
I wish I knew just the right thing to say, but: Your body is your own, your clothes are your own, she doesn’t get a say. Prolly stuff you’ve heard a thousand times before, but I figure it’s encouraging anyway.
In closing, dwarf hamster!
Yeah can’t believe this never hit me. He should 🙁
ALL the Jedi hugs. 🙁 >:(
@Dustydeste
Jedi return-hugs eagerly accepted. And sorry your family was being bigoted too 🙁 I actually got pretty lucky with my parents, since when they do ism-y stuff I can talk about it and they actually listen, so for the most part my family’s good. It’s just stepmom :/
And taking what you said as an opportunity to ramble, but yeah, why do they think of course you (general) shares those beliefs? It’s weird….
I SCENT THE BLOCKQUOTE MONSTER
IT SHALL NOT ESCAPE ME THIS TIME
@falconer
hugs definitely accepted. And idk if this is better or worse than what you assumed, but she wasn’t really comparing me to her kids, the “my kids are innocent” was about how (she was implying) my dressing in revealing clothes would make her kids less innocent my seeing me. So yeah it was full of ickyness.
Yeah, it is encouraging 🙂 gosh I mean I know I’m being derailing but it feels like chatting with you guys makes me realize all ‘yeah this stuff is shitty and I’m not being weird by not just sucking up’ so, um yay? My head feels like it’s in slightly better…headspace? for the moment.
And d’aawww. Dwarf hamsters are adorbs :3
Hugs all around!!! Anyone who needs one, grab a hug!
Seriously, Marie, it’s your dad’s job. He’s the one who married her so he’s the reason you have to put up with her; if he cares about you he shouldn’t want you to be super uncomfortable all the time and he should be willing to tell her “can it while Marie’s here.”
Definitely yay.
And the “corrupt my angels,” booooooo.
At least you can come back and laugh in a few years when she inevitably catches one of her little angels smoking weed behind the house or something.
@Marie – I guess part of it is just the assumption that it must be SUPER OBVIOUS when someone is infected with TEH GAY because… iunno… it just… must be… surely no one they know could be so depraved as to be NOT STRAIGHT! Because if they were they’d totally notice, right?!
In my case it’s kind of exacerbated by the fact that, while I’m not straight, I tend to present as straight, especially to my family. I’m at the point where I’d really like to come out to them so they’d stop saying shit, but I can’t see them accepting it at all. It would just devolve into “But of course you’re straight, you’re married to a man!!!!“
@katz
Yeah, you’re right. I guess I should actually talk to my dad. …::sigh:: though that will probably go 10x better than talking to stepmom.
Or doing something other than adhering strictly to gender binary :/ She seems to enforce that stuff a lot on her kids. I mean her kids are awesome. I just hope she acts awesome towards them, but (and I’ve vented about this before here) she’s scolded her 3yrold daughter for crawling around in a way people could see her diaper when she was playing. Blah.
@dusty deste
ah man 🙁 So do you have those kind of ‘must be straight or gay and there are no other sexualities and nothing in between’ relatives?
Wow. Actually, this discussion regarding Marie’s folks is helpful for me too, even though I’m not talking to mine anymore. So thanks, Manboobzers, for helping giving me a dose of clarity regarding appropriate parental behavior!
Some stupid head at the Spearhead doesn’t understand the humor behind the spelling of Manboobz.
Does being a MRA automatically destroy one’s sense of humor?
http://www.the-spearhead.com/2013/08/13/where-feminism-and-class-intersect/#comment-194368
Sorry about your wicked stepmother, Marie :/ I can’t really articulate anything that the others here haven’t already said better, but don’t let yourself forget that she’s the one with the problem, not you. *nethugs*