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Real-World Man-activism: The photographic evidence

Q8DK3Oy

 

Above, a picture that’s been floating around online for a little while, helpfully meme-ified by Manception on the AgainstMensRights subreddit.

Below, a picture of an anti-abortion protestor at the Texas State Capitol that Amanda Marcotte posted on Pandagon a while back under the title Silent Mansplaining. Which pretty much sums it up.

 

k-bigpic

 

Have any of you run across any similar photographic evidence of real-world man-activism you’d like to share?

 

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Falconer
7 years ago

@Marie — no, it doesn’t bug me. I just wondered if I missed an announcement, and if you were feeling all right.

I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling great. If it helps, I give you The Puggleship of the Ring.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@falconer

D’aww. The puggleship of the ring is adorable.

I could kinda vent about my family troubles if you guys don’t mind, but they’re part of the reason my commenting here has been so flip-floppy recently. (like, not here at all and then I come back for a lot and then not here, ect ect).

Falconer
7 years ago

If it makes you feel better to vent, I don’t mind if you do, but I’m just me and I’ll tell you up front I probably can’t offer anything more than a virtual shoulder to cry on and cute pix. Also donuts (regular and gluten-free) and no-contact hugs.

DireSloth
DireSloth
7 years ago

I wouldn’t mind listening to some ranting. Ranting is an art form I respect. Do it right and you feel like a supervillian :<

Thanks for all the advice, everyone. I'll let you know how Operation: Cookies goes tomorrow.

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

@M Dubz – Thanks! Embarrassingly, I had that article up in another tab the whole time; I’d just missed the bit on political alignment, haha.

While the researchers are apparently incapable of putting out their research in PDF form (Christ, who sends out Word files?!), they did control for family size as a variable, which rules out what I thought might be the case.

Interestinger and interestinger… and yet, this could partially explain why my little teenage brother’s morphing into such an asshole these days! (But really I’m pretty sure the big reason is that my dad models the asshole behavior and my mom won’t say anything against it *sadface*)

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

1) Ok LBT, I had kinda figured, and uh, back when that would’ve been relevant I may’ve need page 5…don’t exactly get out these days

2) *pops into discussion that’s been dropped* cuz my comment isn’t really about fit-to-freak’s comments but zir point, and not to put him in the spot but I can’t imagine dealing with me is exactly easy for pecunium, so yeah, I can get a certain level of “I wish ze wasn’t ill but at least ze isn’t LIKE THAT”…of course, he actually cares and I’m not sure I’d take it well from my relatives (please teleport me coffee, I just got up, and really need to do a water change and do not have the energy to find my glasses [I can see acceptably well at the <2' to my screen])

3) I had a three…OH! I want a skink! Those should be local here, though endangered, yeah, but northern New Haven county? *pouts* I wanna see skink! (Yes I have a think for reptiles amphipens fish and other scaled slithery and swimming things…my mother only allows fully aquatic species or there'd be snakes, at minimum)

4) send coffee, please. And maybe someone willing to do my water change for me?

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@falconer/diresloth

Thanks. Guess I’ll take the opportunity to vent then, though I’m not sure if anyone here’s going to have advice.

Idk, basically the past couple months I’ve been having problem with my dad’s wife/ my stepmom (who I’ve earlier referred to as my dad’s fiance, since that’s what she was then.) Mostly she’s just really sexist and homophobic. She especially seems to have a problem with me wearing revealing clothes (less clothing in summer! The horror!) and was going on about how ‘her kids were innocent’ and I’m “a beautiful woman I should respect my body”. She also doesn’t know I’m gay, since no way I was telling her after she revealed herself to be a homophobic jerk.

I go over to her house to see my dad and brother, who live there, so it’s kinda the only place I can see them :/ It’s just so fucking stressful whenever I’m over there. TBH, I think the only thing to do is tell her she’s making me as uncomfortable as hell, though that probably won’t help cuz I know she’ll just default to “but everyone can have their own opinions” which yeah, is true, but her opinions happen to be 1) creepy 2) hateful and 3) making me as uncomfortable as hell.

Anyway, not sure what to say, but thanks for letting me vent.

@dustydeste

Interestinger and interestinger… and yet, this could partially explain why my little teenage brother’s morphing into such an asshole these days! (But really I’m pretty sure the big reason is that my dad models the asshole behavior and my mom won’t say anything against it *sadface*)

🙁 That sucks. Jedi hugs offered. Sadly no advice I can think of.
@Argenti Aertheri

::sends virtual coffee:

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Thanks Marie but real coffee has been procured! Also, cute ratties, but I meant EA’s plague rats cuz more plague rats! *rat claws!* but you knew that because MORE PLAGUE RATS!

You try talking to your father?

freemage
freemage
7 years ago

Marie: Does your dad know that you’re gay? If he does, then he needs to be told to intervene when his wife is saying something toxic in your presence–he should be willing to do that much for you, at least, whether or not you actually reveal your orientation to her. If not, it may–MAY, because I don’t know the rest of your situation, and so am really, really not saying this must be the case–be time to come out to him in a controlled fashion, away from the stepmom, so that he can understand why this has been so hurtful to you.

To some extent, you need to make it clear to him that her conduct is going to mean you’re limiting your contact with him–either seeing him away from her, or being ready to walk out of family functions the moment she steps out of line.

The other option–and I’ll warn you, this is potentially nuclear–is to go full-throttle the other direction. Make HER uncomfortable when you visit. Wear whatever you want, and if she complains about it, smile sweetly and say, “Your concerns have been noted and given all due consideration, thank you,” and then adjust the clothing a bit in the ‘wrong’ direction. And then introduce them to your current girlfriend (this is even better if you’ve got some women friends who are willing the play the role of “Marie’s girlfriend of the week” for snits and giggles). Make it clear that it doesn’t matter if she’s homophobic as hell, you’re just going to completely disregard her as a source of valid information.

And, please note. This advice? Worth exactly what you’ve paid for it, so please, if you don’t think any of it’ll work for you, then don’t feel shy about saying so.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri

You try talking to your father?

I’ve talked to him at some point earlier, and he had my sister talk to stepmom, since she had to explain the problem to him and he thought she explained it good, but it all bounced of stepmom’s head. (on the homophobia thing. I’m the only one who’s talked to her about the slutshaming thing).

@freemage

Marie: Does your dad know that you’re gay? If he does, then he needs to be told to intervene when his wife is saying something toxic in your presence–he should be willing to do that much for you, at least, whether or not you actually reveal your orientation to her.

He does. And um wow. Yeah can’t believe this never hit me. He should 🙁

Wear whatever you want, and if she complains about it, smile sweetly and say, “Your concerns have been noted and given all due consideration, thank you,” and then adjust the clothing a bit in the ‘wrong’ direction.

I’m sourly tempted to do that one 😛

And then introduce them to your current girlfriend (this is even better if you’ve got some women friends who are willing the play the role of “Marie’s girlfriend of the week” for snits and giggles).

Haha XD Sadly I don’t really know if I’ll come out to her, but that one sounds like a fun plan if I had more friends

And, please note. This advice? Worth exactly what you’ve paid for it, so please, if you don’t think any of it’ll work for you, then don’t feel shy about saying so.

No, actually that was really good advice (for me). I think I’ll have to copy it and think on it 🙂 Thanks 🙂 And even though I doubt I’ll have friends play ‘pretend girlfriend of the week’ it was fun to think about 🙂

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

Thanks for the hugs, Marie – I’m hoping he’ll take a women’s studies course or two or at least an intro sociology course with a good prof when he gets to university next year, and maybe find some more mature friends as well, but really at this point there doesn’t seem to be much to do but hope for the best.

I’m so sorry about everything going down with your dad’s wife; I know firsthand how awkward it can be to be around family who don’t know what’s up and are spewing bigoted hatred because of course you’re just like them and hold the same opinions (they think, ever so wrongly). I don’t have any advice, but I hope it gets better for you. May I return the Jedi hugs?

Falconer
7 years ago

I’m sorry that your stepmom is being judgmental, Marie, especially since she is comparing you to her own children.

Policing is no fun for the people being judged. I probably don’t need to say that policing clothes smacks a whole lot of rape culture and victim-blaming.

I wish I knew just the right thing to say, but: Your body is your own, your clothes are your own, she doesn’t get a say. Prolly stuff you’ve heard a thousand times before, but I figure it’s encouraging anyway.

In closing, dwarf hamster!

Falconer
7 years ago

Yeah can’t believe this never hit me. He should 🙁

ALL the Jedi hugs. 🙁 >:(

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@Dustydeste

Jedi return-hugs eagerly accepted. And sorry your family was being bigoted too 🙁 I actually got pretty lucky with my parents, since when they do ism-y stuff I can talk about it and they actually listen, so for the most part my family’s good. It’s just stepmom :/

And taking what you said as an opportunity to ramble, but yeah, why do they think of course you (general) shares those beliefs? It’s weird….

Falconer
7 years ago

I SCENT THE BLOCKQUOTE MONSTER

IT SHALL NOT ESCAPE ME THIS TIME

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@falconer

hugs definitely accepted. And idk if this is better or worse than what you assumed, but she wasn’t really comparing me to her kids, the “my kids are innocent” was about how (she was implying) my dressing in revealing clothes would make her kids less innocent my seeing me. So yeah it was full of ickyness.

Prolly stuff you’ve heard a thousand times before, but I figure it’s encouraging anyway.

Yeah, it is encouraging 🙂 gosh I mean I know I’m being derailing but it feels like chatting with you guys makes me realize all ‘yeah this stuff is shitty and I’m not being weird by not just sucking up’ so, um yay? My head feels like it’s in slightly better…headspace? for the moment.

And d’aawww. Dwarf hamsters are adorbs :3

cloudiah
7 years ago

Hugs all around!!! Anyone who needs one, grab a hug!

katz
7 years ago

Seriously, Marie, it’s your dad’s job. He’s the one who married her so he’s the reason you have to put up with her; if he cares about you he shouldn’t want you to be super uncomfortable all the time and he should be willing to tell her “can it while Marie’s here.”

Falconer
7 years ago

Definitely yay.

And the “corrupt my angels,” booooooo.

katz
7 years ago

At least you can come back and laugh in a few years when she inevitably catches one of her little angels smoking weed behind the house or something.

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

@Marie – I guess part of it is just the assumption that it must be SUPER OBVIOUS when someone is infected with TEH GAY because… iunno… it just… must be… surely no one they know could be so depraved as to be NOT STRAIGHT! Because if they were they’d totally notice, right?!

In my case it’s kind of exacerbated by the fact that, while I’m not straight, I tend to present as straight, especially to my family. I’m at the point where I’d really like to come out to them so they’d stop saying shit, but I can’t see them accepting it at all. It would just devolve into “But of course you’re straight, you’re married to a man!!!!

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@katz

Seriously, Marie, it’s your dad’s job. He’s the one who married her so he’s the reason you have to put up with her; if he cares about you he shouldn’t want you to be super uncomfortable all the time and he should be willing to tell her “can it while Marie’s here.”

Yeah, you’re right. I guess I should actually talk to my dad. …::sigh:: though that will probably go 10x better than talking to stepmom.

At least you can come back and laugh in a few years when she inevitably catches one of her little angels smoking weed behind the house or something.

Or doing something other than adhering strictly to gender binary :/ She seems to enforce that stuff a lot on her kids. I mean her kids are awesome. I just hope she acts awesome towards them, but (and I’ve vented about this before here) she’s scolded her 3yrold daughter for crawling around in a way people could see her diaper when she was playing. Blah.

@dusty deste

I’m at the point where I’d really like to come out to them so they’d stop saying shit, but I can’t see them accepting it at all. It would just devolve into “But of course you’re straight, you’re married to a man!!!!“

ah man 🙁 So do you have those kind of ‘must be straight or gay and there are no other sexualities and nothing in between’ relatives?

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Wow. Actually, this discussion regarding Marie’s folks is helpful for me too, even though I’m not talking to mine anymore. So thanks, Manboobzers, for helping giving me a dose of clarity regarding appropriate parental behavior!

Alice
Alice
7 years ago

Some stupid head at the Spearhead doesn’t understand the humor behind the spelling of Manboobz.

“Also, in one of Manboobz’ most recent attempts to “mock misogyny,” he critiques the spelling of a Reddit user who misspells a word – ironic given that Manboobz cannot properly pluralize what is on his chest and what he projects onto his thinner opponents.”

Does being a MRA automatically destroy one’s sense of humor?

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2013/08/13/where-feminism-and-class-intersect/#comment-194368

DireSloth
DireSloth
7 years ago

Sorry about your wicked stepmother, Marie :/ I can’t really articulate anything that the others here haven’t already said better, but don’t let yourself forget that she’s the one with the problem, not you. *nethugs*

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@Diresloth

Thanks for hugs 🙂

neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

@Marie
Beagle kisses! And a guinea pig with message for stepmonster:

http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/4a/c3/58/4ac3586b1857ef1a3cb1b9d39ab5a89c.jpg

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@neuroticbeagle

D’aww.Best guinea pig ever. 😀

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

@Marie – TBH I’m not really sure if it’s that or that they just think that everyone is straight actually, and anyone who says otherwise is either traumatized or lying. Luckily I don’t live around them anymore, and I’m coming to a point where I can actually choose to never go home again if I don’t feel like dealing with it, which is a nice feeling. It’s mostly only a problem when I’m at their place; I feel a lot more in control when our communication is all text-based or through Skype, as it is when I’m not living with them. I figure I’ve got a month and a half left of time to do with them, and then anything else is at my discretion.

I’m just still seething over my dad saying, last time I was home, that he wouldn’t even consider moving into an apartment that advertised as LGBT-friendly because he “has nothing in common with those people.” It’s like… really, Dad? Nothing? Nothing at all? Like, some of them might also work in computers or advertising, or they might like biking and grilling things, and I hear football’s a popular thing among lots of people, you don’t think those are some things you could have in common?

I was so close to just picking up and leaving, saying something smarmy about how, oh well, I guess I was right and we’ve got nothing in common but genetic material, then. Ugh. I’m not looking forward to Thanksgiving through New Year’s.

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

Bleh, sorry for dumping; I did not come in meaning to do that :/

In other news, I love you guys and this is how I envision a room full of the people who hang out in the comments here <3

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

It’s okay. I feel very lucky that we’ve pretty much gotten away from our folks; we haven’t spoken to them in over a year now. My feelings are mixed; despite everything, I can’t really be angry at them. I mostly feel sorry for them, because I know that they don’t understand why they left, and seeing their tendency to deny, ignore, and erase anything that they don’t like, they probably never will, and that’s a sad state to be in.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

dustydeste: I think that room needs more cats.

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

hellkell: Heh, this is true. Just imagine kitties in place of the spittoons (and dog/children, depending on your particular sensibilities)?

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@dustydeste

@Marie – TBH I’m not really sure if it’s that or that they just think that everyone is straight actually, and anyone who says otherwise is either traumatized or lying

And I didn’t consider that last one :/ Probably cuz I’ve never had the misfortune of meeting someone who thought like that (from what I could tell. I’m not a mind reader.)

Ugh. I’m not looking forward to Thanksgiving through New Year’s.

🙁 Good luck? And internet hugs, if you want them.

Uriah the Dancing Kitty
Uriah the Dancing Kitty
7 years ago

I’m going to laugh when the first US woman president is homophobic and anti-choice. That will really be damaging to feminism. Feminism will never be able to throw all women like including Maria’s stepmom into a box and demand complete agreement.
And the LORD spoke unto me, saying “PLEASE SPREAD MY MESSAGE UNTO THE DOMAIN OF MANBOOBZ. YOU ARE LIKE UNTO URIAH THE WIFE OF BATHSHEBA, MURDERED BY KING DAVID BECAUSE OF HIS MRA ACTIVISM. THESE MANBOOBZERS are a crude and stiff-necked people, but I shall give thee great honor and proectecion.”

katz
7 years ago

And you guys thought Asher was a boring troll?

Fade
7 years ago

Dude, Feminism does not mean women are perfect. There are plenty of men who ar homophobic and anti choice. That hasnt managed to damage the patriarchy at all.

PS, fuck you for laughing at something that would negatively affect gay people and women.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@uriah the dancing kitty

I’m going to laugh when the first US woman president is homophobic and anti-choice. That will really be damaging to feminism

And how many male US presidents have we had who were homophobic and anti-choice? White men occupy 80% of the house of representatives, 80-85% of the senate, and all but the last US president. Who do you think is writing homophobic, anti-choice laws? It doesn’t seem to be that many women.

Also, feminism does not mean all women are perfect. Get over it.

And sadly I cannot respond to the last half of your post because it seemed to desolve into incoherent mock up bible talk.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Mr. Al?

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

I think Uriah is no treally a dancing kitty. How intellectually dishonest.

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@grumpycatisagirl

XD

And he hasn’t come back, too. I suppose that’s good, but I’m booorrreeeeddd.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Uriah’s a bit behind the times. We’ve had one woman Prime Minister here, and while she was definitely not anti-choice, she could be called homophobic (or else more concerned with numbers than doing the right thing on this occasion) when she went for the “marriage = man and woman” line. So whoop-de-do, does latest borning troll think that would come as a huge surprise in a country like the US?

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@kittehs

Wait, you mean there are other countries that aren’t the US? ::dies of shock::

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Psh, Uriah. Explorenature was more entertaining.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Marie:

Wait, you mean there are other countries that aren’t the US? ::dies of shock::

::dies laughing::

😀

tcwill00
7 years ago

YOU ARE LIKE UNTO URIAH THE WIFE OF BATHSHEBA, MURDERED BY KING DAVID BECAUSE OF HIS MRA ACTIVISM.

pffftHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!

M Dubz
M Dubz
7 years ago

@tcwill- iknowright? I can assure you, the whole point of that story was not that Uriah was any sort of activist of any kind.

Also, in regards to misogynist women, of course they exist. Women are dripping in patriarchy too. That doesn’t mean that we as feminists don’t want to help them realize the way that patriarchy is damaging them, and fight against their actions when they would take freedom away from women everywhere. You know, same as we feel about the men.

Karalora
Karalora
7 years ago

Wait wait wait…Uriah the wife of Bathsheba? I can’t be the only one who noticed that.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Karalora

That’d require me to read through Uriah’s Bible babble. No thanks.