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Women are lying when they say they want more dicks on TV, Men’s Rights Redditors explain

Artist Louise Bourgeois also pretended to like dongs.
Artist Louise Bourgeois also pretended to like dongs.

So for some reason the fellas on the Men’s Rights subreddit are discussing an article by Australian newspaper columnist Clementine Ford in which she expresses her desire to see more dongs on television.

As she notes, there are plenty of boobs on display on HBO shows like Game of Thrones, yet “rarely are we treated to the visual smorgasbord of a well stocked meat platter. ” Ford is sick of it.  “So bring on the parade of wangs, willies and woodies!” she demands. “I’m fond of a wand and I’m not ashamed to say it.”

I’m not terribly familiar with the writings of Clementine Ford, but evidently she’s not big on subtlety.

Anyway, the fellas in the Men’s Rights subreddit aren’t having any of it. Nuh uh. They ain’t buying it, ladies! You may write columns about how you want more wang on TV. You may talk about it with your friends. You may have gigantic collections of peen pics hidden away on your hard drive.

But the MRAs of Reddit know better. It’s all some devious feminist ploy, as Steampunk_Moustache helpfully explains.

Steampunk_Moustache 1 point 5 hours ago (2|1)  It's rather funny seeing feminists pretend they want to see penises just so that they can make this (weak) argument, isn't it?  Women don't want to look at dicks. Women don't get turned on by the sight of dicks.  Do you know who gets turned on by the sight of dicks? Ironically, straight men.

Huh. That took an odd twist at the end there.

But it’s our old friend Giegerwasright who provides the real answer, in the form of a wall-o-mansplainin’ so giant that I had to shrink the text to even screencap it.

giegerwasright 27 points 10 hours ago (31|4)  OK, my negroes. I'm going to lay this out for you. Because the women in this article and the writer of this article... they aren't interested at all in the male form. Not a single bit. They're just being spoiled brat children (as usual) stomping their feet and nasally sneering "what about you! what about you!" They're just looking for something to whinge about and make demands of (as usual) that they never really have any interest in making use of.  How may women in visual arts profess an adoration for the male form? Can you name a single female visual artist who has expressed her passion for that male form through her art in a manner that is sublime? I can't. I can easily fine male visual artists who do so. Michelangelo's David is a pretty classic example. Everything by Caravaggio stands out quite beautifully. Mapplethorpe's photos of men show a passion for the male form, a passion that ultimately killed him, that I have never in my life seen expressed in a single woman's work. Never. Women don't appreciate or even like the male form very much. They like what it gets them.  You're just as likely to find men who express that adoration for the female form as you will the male. I'd start with Mona Lisa, but I find that painting to be rather reserved and dispassionate. Take a look at the work of John Singer Sargent. Picasso expressed adoration for the female form both in and out of his cubist works. Monet, Manet, Van Gogh, to Man Ray and Helmut Newton. On and on and on is a list of male artists with a visceral and obsessive adoration for the female form.  And female artists? What do they like? Nearly unilaterally, they seem to prefer the female form as well. They are not driven by the same compulsion for the opposite sex that so many male artists seem to experience. They just aren't interested. What did Frida Khalo paint? Herself. Georgia O'Keefe? her vagina. Cindy Sherman? More women. Even pop photographers are more interested in the female form. Look at the work of Bunny Yeager. Women as artists are only concerned with their own form.  The only interest that women have in the male form is it's utility and as fodder for humor. "tee hee! a penis! tee hee!". These women aren't requesting "cocks". They don't want "dicks". They aren't raging for "erections". They want "dongs". Fodder for jokes. Remember when Ensler came out with the Vagina Monologues? We all know it here. The play waxed poetic about the beauty and versimilitude of the female organ. What did men get that year? That year, the penis got "Puppetry of the Penis". A joke. A ridicule. A parlour trick. A fucking carnival act.  So, when women clench their fists and bawl with quivering lower lip "Why dere is no dongz on da tee vee!?!?" I have to respond "Because you don't fucking want them. That's why."

Huh.

So why exactly are women pretending to be interested in seeing more penises on television? So they can point at them and laugh?

Women are such an enigma, especially if you just assume that nothing they ever say is true and that it’s all part of some weird plot to screw with men’s heads.

(H/t to r/againstmensrights for pointing me to geigerwasright’s lovely comment.)

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pecunium
7 years ago

He’s a dolt: He thinks it’s credible that 1: he’s never encountered “feminists” before the time he appeared on manboobz (i.e. in that period) and yet he’s got experience which is, “fairly wide in this matter”.

Unh hunh. He’s also picked up some idiolectical quirks which are native speaker angolphone; and that idiolect is that of internet contriarian. Amazing. All from arguing with feminist for a mere six months or so.

Feminism, better than using a Rosetta Stone.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Well, you surely make him need a dictionary so maybe you are better than Rosetta 🙂 (yes, he’s a dolt, and seeing how I’m only half joking, I used to know some ASL, rectify the tense there?)

titianblue
titianblue
7 years ago

So we’re certain that the “reactionary” Asher is not the “reactionary” Brz, are we?

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Brz: cool story, bro. Now fuck off.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

I’m still trying to figure out what sort of odd personality defect would lead someone to spend a year trying to interact with a group of people who alternately ignore him and tell him to get lost.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Too cheap to pay for a domme?

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: markb

Female pudenda I just barely tolerate.

Of all the terms, you choose that one?

the only thing that’s erotic is two or more svelte nymphs making tender, passionate love to each other.

Thank you for the update from your alien parasite, sir. Please leave now; I really could care less about your sexual preferences.

kittehserf
7 years ago

markb: cool story bro.

What is it with really obvious trolls today?

Ally S
7 years ago

It should be obvious to any right-thinking person that the only thing that’s erotic is two or more svelte nymphs making tender, passionate love to each other. Also, there should be spanking.

Thank you so much. All of us here were dying to hear about what gives you a boner.

(not)

kittehserf
7 years ago

This one sounds like Son of Meller.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Either Poe or needs to never spank anyone. Ever.

And it’s established around here that if I say no masochism for you then you’re doing something Very Wring, right?

markb — coulda totally left that at “well I don’t looking at either other men’s penises nor vaginaes”

*cocks head* is that really the plural of vagina? Cuz that one is also Latin and seeing vaginae in print…I think it is first declension feminine…

Ah well, that’s as useful as the plural of noptopus (it’s a verb or singular noun, there is no plural, there, settled that! XD )

katz
7 years ago

He’s a nymphomaniac!

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Thanks for the Boner Note, now run along, markb.

kittehserf
7 years ago

katz – GROAN

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Katz makes me go XD

katz
7 years ago

He’s not using “nymph” just to refer to young girls (ew) either. He’s actually only turned on by minor Greek nature spirits.

kittehserf
7 years ago

No wonder he finds penises gross, then. He’s probably only seen satyrs’, and ewww.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

But only if there are 2 nymphs and they’re fake-lesbian-ing it up in the most un-threatening manner possible.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

I was raised on Piers Anthony. Any use of the term ‘nymph’ in a sexy way just makes me D: like mad.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

For added context, Piers Anthony had a book series devoted to nymphs as brainless, souless, constantly horny and inhumanly beautiful women, where it was fairly usual for young men to chase them. There was also one book where a ‘nymphomaniac’ would kidnap and imprison nymphs after forcing them to marry him. (Of course, he also would have sex with them, but the fun part about nymphs is that they’re mindless, so they can’t NOT consent, by the book’s rules.) The book ends with him getting a hot demon wife, winning, and turning out to be Such A Nice Man.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Yeah, the fakeness of that scenario was the most obvious thing. “Paid to put on what some straight dudes seem to think lesbian sex is about” is the thing.

Pathetic’s the word that comes to mind for this sad little troll.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

I’m curious as to where this new batch of weaksauce trolls came from.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Must be spawning season.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

MRAL’s probably bored again.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Twice? Mr. Al was bored on the Roosh thread, so this probably isn’t him. Which leaves us at troll spawning season. Please bring in 50 Shades of Bears to eat them as they swim upstream.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Maybe it was a bunch of ferrets in an MRAL suit. *nods wisely*

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

And this one is cats in a Mr. Al suit, yes.

kittehserf
7 years ago

No! The Furrinati could never be so terrible!

Plus, they write better.

markb
markb
7 years ago

Sorry if my humor was in bad taste. Am somewhat alarmed that some people seemed to take my post at face value. Note to self; familiarize self with culture of new online community before attempting humor, self. Although I still can’t understand why heterosexual men would want to look at other men’s junk, that part was serious.

kittehserf
7 years ago

markb, we’ve had lots of trolls here over the years who really do post that sort of thing in earnest, alarming as that is. More lurking is definitely called for (that, or putting a /snark tag at the bottom of a comment)!

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: markb

Am somewhat alarmed that some people seemed to take my post at face value.

You obviously have not met our illustrious cabal of trolls.

Although I still can’t understand why heterosexual men would want to look at other men’s junk, that part was serious.

As an artist, I can still enjoy the human form, even if its not in a shape I’m sexually attracted to. I enjoy looking at anatomy in all its complexity.

kittehserf
7 years ago

I wonder – could some of it, with viewing porn, be a projection thing? (Stop giggling in the back, 4C.) The viewer imagining himself as the guy on screen?

Totally random guess there, being neither a man nor a porn-viewer.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

There really needs to be a sarcasm/snark font.

katz
7 years ago

Markb: Well, you got us good if you were joking. But we’ve got apparently earnest trolls who are saying things like this, so seriously, unless we already know who you are and what you’re like, we have no way to tell!

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

Or it could just to get an idea what the damn things look like. I mean, people come in all shapes and sizes; I figure it’s not that weird to be curious about how other folks look.

kittehserf
7 years ago

That’s a good point, LBT. I have much the same curiosity about women’s bits. So far from being of the “I don’t conform to the norm, I am ugly/deformed!” generation, I presumed everyone was much the same as me, not that I gave it much thought.

M Dubz
M Dubz
7 years ago

@Argenti- It’s sad. Every troll spawning season I hope that we get a new crop that has the potential to live up to Meller and OWLy. And then, every season, I am disappointed. If we’re going to get the trolls, at least let them be over the top trolls of magic and wonder.

markb
markb
7 years ago

Probably didn’t help that my first post was on a “salacious” topic. But I would have thought that putting “All right-thinking people agree” before what is obviously a very specific fetish would have made it clear that I was poking fun at myself.

As for the original article by Clementine Ford, do they not get “Spartacus” in Australia?

M Dubz
M Dubz
7 years ago

@Markb- I have noticed that, after seeing lots and lots and lots of naked bodies of different shapes and sizes, they all just sort of become body shaped. Not gross, not particularly appealing (unless the body’s attached to someone I’m attracted to), just sort of body shaped and normal. Like, people will put of pictures of really fat people or really old people as memes in an effort to shock, and it’s just like “Yes, they have a body and that is what it looks like. Cool.” And I’m actually really grateful for that.

kittehserf
7 years ago

M Dubz – agree there! It’s the face that matters for me. I just saw a life-drawing of a man whose body would prolly be dismissed as “eww, he’s got a fat belly,” but I liked his face (dark hair, moustache) and the body looked good ‘cos they went together.

markb – eh, it’s still the troll thing. We get trolls who really do say that sort of thing for real (and add “and that’s real” at the end, which has become a running joke). NWOslave, greatest and most OTT of trolls, came out with gems about Spanish and Russian using the same alphabet, or evolution not being a thing ‘cos there’d be superdogs, and women just having to sit on street corners and cry to be given money, and women’s sexuality = how we dress, and needing to be beaten for enticing men by wearing sexy sexy capris and not having sex with men immediately … oh and he included little girls in his slut-rage.

So however bizarre a statement, if it comes from someone we don’t know, chances are it will be taken for a troll’s.

markb
markb
7 years ago
Reply to  M Dubz

Oh, absolutely. I have done enough figure drawing from live models to have experienced the same thing. In fact, early on I would find myself falling “in love” with the model (in a peculiar, non-sexual way) as I was drawing his or her body. I felt like I was arriving at some kind of understanding of the person through their form.

katz
7 years ago

But I would have thought that putting “All right-thinking people agree” before what is obviously a very specific fetish would have made it clear that I was poking fun at myself.

You’d think so, wouldn’t you? But we had a troll once who maintained that, since all women are evil and unfeminine and persist at having personalities and stuff, the correct thing for men to do was to put perfume on porcelain dolls and then masturbate to them. You can assume nothing.

Anyway, relief all around that that’s not what you really think!

katz
7 years ago

Here he is. Feast your eyes, Mark! Or maybe shielding them would be wiser.

kittehserf
7 years ago

Ah, the infamous DKM. ::hurl::

markb, that reminds me of life-drawing classes I did way back in the day. Not so much getting an understanding of the person – I was seventeen, I don’t think I thought about other people that much – but the sheer pleasure of the sweeping lines of the human body. My favourite model was a woman in her, oh, fifties maybe, quite round. Drawing her with ink was a delight.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

That was when he wasn’t blaming domestic violence victims for “getting themselves killed” (whomever has that link, post it and I’ll add it to my collection…pecunium has it doesn’t he?)

yaoi huntress earth
yaoi huntress earth
7 years ago

@LBT

Let’s not forget he also wrote a story with a five-year-old girl and her adult lover. I think her name was also Nymph.

markb
markb
7 years ago
Reply to  katz

Yeah, I’ve seen a lot of that kind of stuff on “Fundies Say the Darnedest Things.” I think that’s where I came across this blog. Those extreme misogynists always come across like hurt children lashing out with no sense of proportion. I have yet to see a single Men’s Rights Advocate who can say “we need to take another look at the way courts treat fathers in custody disputes” without swerving into “we are the most oppressed group ever in the history of everything”.

katz
7 years ago

FSTDT is great! And since you’re not a troll, have a welcome package.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Let’s not forget he also wrote a story with a five-year-old girl and her adult lover.

??!!!

katz
7 years ago

…The story was about the adult lover getting arrested and going to jail, right?

Right?