This is the actual cover for a little self-published alpha-male how-to book I found on Amazon, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a more awesome book cover in my life.
I mean, let’s just start with the fact that becoming an Alpha Male apparently makes you literally a giant, and somehow in the process removes any shadows or reflections that you might have previously cast upon the world. And it makes you irresistible to similarly gigantic women, provided they are standing at an angle that bears no relation to earth gravity and lit by their own light source.
And then there’s the weirdly ambiguous title of the book, which suggests you are becoming an Alpha Male for other men.
The book description is pretty awesome as well.
HOW TO BECOME AN ALPHA MALE FOR TODAY’S MAN. How to become an alpha male is the trending topic among men all across the world today. In this book you will find an easy to follow simplified guide to transforming into the man whom women are diligently seeking after but fail to find.
Why would you want to turn yourself into a man the women can’t find?
This informative book will satisfy your quest for who you are. You are an alpha male who deserves the excitement and pleasure and all the luxuries the life of an alpha male have to offer.
Like the luxury of expanding to THREE TIMES NORMAL HUMAN SIZE!
You will find proven techniques that will save you valuable time and money also sure fire methods that will guarantee promising results. Based on extensive and expensive field research the author T.Mills have scientifically gathered useful data that have been tried and tested with striking results.
Apparently he never tried and tested his promotional copy with a copy editor, though.
After reading this book you will find yourself excited about becoming an alpha male. Imagine being in control of unlimited pleasure. Your desires fulfilled simply by applying these step by step methods. Having your way in every situation without worrying about the threat of opposition. This is the life of an alpha male. How To Become An Alpha Male For Today’s Man contains the necessary tools in an intimate one on one encounter within this book.
Wait, what? Is he suggesting that we … have sex with the book?
Because that works for me. This book cover is just that irresistible.
I might even have to procure this work of literature and read it, or something.
I think the entire “essay” is an overly complicated way of asserting that women choose to be oppressed, and the act of choosing means that being oppressed is natural and good for women.
And then there’s this:
You heard it here, folks. Feminists are all about post-modernism, deconstructionism, and witchcraft.
Ah I still like the “gender is a series of self chosen habits” AND the next line states that people are happy with the gender they are ASSIGNED. I mean which is it, a deliberately made choice (from birth no less) or an arbitrary sets of habits assigned to you by others?
Admittedly, it can be a mix of both and usually is, but the essay is so lacking in understanding, that the basic idea of people doing things because that’s the only way they’ve seen it done doesn’t even enter consideration.
@katz:
More like “it is not genetics, therefore we must obey, and oh by the way you’re stupid for even thinking it was genetics.”
“But… we don’t think it’s genetics…”
“REDUCTIONISTS!!1!!!”
That’s it, fuck it, I am buying a fucking parasol.
I should not be drinking on a weeknight.
@Pillowinhell:
Somehow he doesn’t get that people are shaped by the choices of others and not just their own, or that not everything that shapes a person can be boiled down to a “choice” by that person.
That’s the one that threw me out of it, too.
As in, I could not proceed reading because I keep circling back and going “Wait a second, what?”. I like to pretend I’m normally quite able to accept premises as stated in order to comprehend and idea from another perspective, but… yeah.
How does *anyone* ideate that gender roles are habits, and habits are a choice, and everyone is happy with the role they are assigned?
Sort of ultimately an argument for feminism, that.
(You are assigned a role, and you are happy with it because of habit, but the role might not be optimal for you, and you can, if you want, consciously choose what role you want to live… And you should be allowed to!)
But no, no, instead it goes in the other, much more baffling direction. Thank you Ally S, it’s a great conundrum for making my head hurt.
But maybe that’s because I’m a reductionist feminist. Or that other people upon viewing a situation can come to a different conclusion by interpreting evidence in a manner that I have not.
Or something.
[Content note: explicit rape apologia]
Here’s another shit post from the same author: http://members.iinet.net.au/~tramont/protruth/secrets.html
All I can say is: UGH
@Ally S:
I read the very first line and went “Nope.” Maybe I’ll try again later…
I tried. All I can say is “no. No no no. No no no no nooo no no no nope nope nope noooooo no no no no no no no no no.”
And you know what the fucking worst bit is? After all this shit about “all women long to be violated, men long to violate” crap, after countless random little posts about how rape is a good way to save your marriage and to woo a woman, how you as a man should just give in to those urges you undoubtably feel (you are more rational, you know women best, your urge to rape is completely correct and good and you know better than women what they desire), he has the gall to write this:
Fuck this guy two million ways to hell.
“Fuck this guy two million ways to hell.”
Amen to that.
Elsewhere on his website, he denigrates feminists and MRAs for countering abuse apologia, asserting that abused men and women are responsible for being in abusive situations.
They always seem to have the lowest view of men don’t they?
Feminists — rapists cause rape; implied — because the vast majority of people don’t rape, or even want to
Anti-feminists — rape is a natural male desire; implied — all men want to rape
I just can’t.
“Or not wearing a fedora ironically, either, but like Pecunium or Louis do – stylishly!”
Until he insists he hates umbrellas, he has his hat and ends up wringing out his kilt that is (pecunium your style choice after that was, uh, amusing shall we say? I’ll leave the sharing up to you!)
It did seem a rather nice hat when it wasn’t dripping.
A dripping wet hat and kilt?
ROFL I’m loving this image.
… So’s Louis. It adds to his list of “reasons I shall never wear a kilt.” 😛
On the subway no less! Of course, him clearly being a fallible human who could find this amusing did much for my nerves — it’s the narcissist ex, they’re around the same age and, in their own heads, equally accomplished…except pecunium actually is…my nerves, they are weird. The “oh good, he doesn’t feel the need to be perfect, he’s just naturally awesome” (pecunium, no really, awesome sauce)
The average adorable little mushroom of today is being amazing while super busy…I guess technically of yesterday at this point, but still, awesome sauce.
Oh and tell Louis that pecunium wrang out his kilt, I could not wring out my pants. Granted this was, in part cuz umbrella, but still, you can’t wring out pants while still wearing them, you’re just stuck being wet.
Things learned in Pittsburgh — ALWAYS carry an umbrella.
Ha! I’m Melburnian, carrying an umbrella at all times is second nature!
I’m off to do exciting things like make tomorrow’s lunch, ignore telly and start the next KNITTING!!! project (multi-coloured beret, using two yarns).
Niters!
Your ex is pecunium’s age? I can see why you got into that situation since narcissists can be very charismatic, but I am side-eyeing your ex pretty hard.
@LBT: Hi! I’ve read some of your comics and i really like them. This morning I was really late for a meeting, and I was in danger of succumbing to shame. Then I visualized your Self-Hate monster, and I bought myself a mocha instead. So thanks for inspiring me!
@girlscientist
Have you commented before? If not here is your welcome package. (If so, ignore me).
http://artistryforfeminismandkittens.wordpress.com/the-official-man-boobz-complimentary-welcome-package/
Completely off topic, but here is something which I think people here will enjoy:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6CcxJQq1x8&w=560&h=315]
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wxGH7aq780&w=560&h=315]
The Furrinati are coming for you…
Maybe the giant women are gazing at the giant man because they’re standing on the pile of BS he’s shoveled over their feet.
@neuroticbeagle: I’m a very old, but very *very* sporadic commenter. Thanks for the welcome package, though. It’s much appreciated!
Your welcome. Thank you for the Furrinati commercials. At least one company knows some of the truth (they left out the part where dogs do the cats bidding).
I love this question!
That was my favorite part of biology class, and I get super-excited explaining to folks how this works.
So you have DNA, which is long strands of information, right? And then an enzyme strips each one off into RNA, which is basically identical.
But the RNA comes off in short snips, and those short snips form three basic types.
One type becomes little forklifts, carrying amino acids. One type becomes little factories. The other type stays and strands of information.
A strand of information goes into the factory. Based on the three-letter combination, it adheres a specific forklift, which has a specific amino acid. The acids are adhered together into a chain matching the RNA chain.
This is how you build a specific protein.
The DNA is literally its own mechanism for interpretation! It is the factory, it is the forklift, it is the blueprints!
(but then there’s also the mechanism by which some cells know they’re supposed to build one protein, and not another… based on which cells are next to them. This gets totally fun!)
*this has all been horribly oversimplified. Your biology professor is weeping now.
…
All that to say… fella, you asked an important question, BUT YOU NEVER THOUGHT TO CRACK OPEN A TEXTBOOK TO ANSWER IT.
I asked that question once, once upon a time, because it seemed unbelievable to me as well. “DNA are blueprints? Well, what reads the blueprints?”
AND THE ANSWER BLEW MY MIND.
Don’t just ask your questions rhetorically… ASK THEM! Read, investigate, grow! Look outward and explore! There is a whole buttload of world out there you haven’t seen, and it’s all just as exciting as this bit right here!
…
/iznerd
… Yes. Granted, it’s not perfect, and the theory has some holes, and even the Grand Paradigm (Or First Paradigm, education dependent) where genes are strictly one way read outs has some faults that years of alcohol have managed to scour from my brain, but essentially, genetic replicators are genetic replicators because they can, you know, replicate.
…. It’s kind of the point.
Interesting how that relates to gender roles and choice and habit and women being weaker, though.
I guess they just have weak genes?
—
Howard, you’re making me want to study biology again.
q:
QFsomuchT.