So I read a lot of creepy shit doing research for this blog. But the manosphere blog Random Xpat Rantings — slogan: “Contemplative dominance for the modern man” — seems to be trying to take creepiness to a whole other level.
In a recent post, blogger xsplat attempts to explain “How to make an attractive woman fall for you on the first or second date.” One of his hints: “If you are way into the girl, it will be way easier for her to fall for you.”
But what if you’re dead inside and can’t feel love? Well, have no fear, because xsplat has an answer for you: Pretend that the women you’re dating are your children!
If you don’t know how to feel love, here is a trick that will work for some, if you let it. Men naturally feel paternal love. Women are neotenous. Evolution is accidental, however the coincidence is meaningful. Women are neotenous because that arouses men’s paternal love. Use that to your advantage. Consider her as YOUR child. This will open up a flood of love for her. It’s ok – it’s not real incest – don’t be an idiot. It’s a trick you are performing in order to commune more fully. To love her more. To enjoy for yourself the great rush of love.
Also, I have a long history of doing this, again and again. It’s not just an accident in my distant past. It’s what I do. It’s what I did today. It’s a formula. It’s a formula that might very well work for you.
If you’re giving out dating advice and you have to specify “it’s ok — it’s not real incest” you should probably start trying to figure out just how your life has gone so terribly, terribly wrong.
The average manboobz commenter of today felt a chill run down their spine while reading that. Ugh. Just…uuugggh.
“What this guy is advocating is more like “just choke everyone because they secretly love it.””
Yeah. A lot of doods who’ve been influenced by this shit not only advocate but actually, literally do that, too. I’ve seen it happen with a possibly shocking number of ‘lefty’ doods, even. (Some of whom also believe women are ‘naturally’ hairless too.)
“@leocigale, why does my youtube link auto embed and yours doesn’t?”
Because YouTube is going its own way and thus requires a line between it and everything else.
“The average manboobz commenter of today felt a chill run down their spine while reading that.”
And that’s real.
“Don’t worry, it’s not real incest, don’t be an idiot”. . . It’s just repressed pedaphilia
On an unrelated note… I thought I’d add to the endless pile of MRAs make shit up to make a point on Reddit: http://brute-reason.tumblr.com/post/58518169942/my-feminist-ex-girlfriend-recently-posted-this-on-her
I know they make stuff up all the time, but him acting like he is Miri’s ex-boyfriend is really creepy (oh no! was that a shaming tactic?). I must say I was impressed by the amount of comments agreeing with her, though.
@andemilybites
Peer reviewed by evo psych scribbler extraordinaire Jesse Bering (“men are hard wired to want 12 year olds” guy) and Ben Radford (“women love pink because berries in the pleistocene” guy, sexual harasser on his spare time). I’m sure he can have V*x Day to co-write it with him and get the fierce PhD Dr. Farrell with a PhD {in poli sci} to expand on paternalistic love. (*shudder*)
Jesus, if you have to try and trick yourself into being with someone, stop it.
This guy makes me want to shower with bleach and brillo.
Dead inside – yup, that’s these guys, all right. Dead and rotting.
I’ve always hated “baby” or “daddy” or “mama” as terms for lovers. They’ve always revolted me. A lover as parent/child figure? URGH URGH URGH hack blooork was my reaction from early days, even before knowing incest was a thing or the other nasty implications in the terms.
“Oh Daddy” was the one song on Rumours I’d always skip, too … not just for the term.
Also, I wonder if creepy expat does this “over and over again” because he never gets a second date?
RE: opiumforthemasses
… Daddy Dom/ Little Girl is a thing.
Yeah. But there’s a big difference between, “let’s play with these roles, knowing full well that we’re both consenting adults,” and, “well, I can’t feel love for you unless I pretend you’re my child.” For one thing, both parties actually CONSENT to the former.
RE: scarlettpipistrelle
When I was studying the history of the Public Enemies era, especially Bonnie and Clyde, I was struck with how often men called the women “baby” or some variant, and how often the women addressed their boyfriends or husbands as “daddy.”
Yeah. I mean, I listen to music from the 50s-70s, and it didn’t seem that unusual. I recall ‘mama’ too. And then you’ve got the biker term ‘old lady.’
Of course, presumably these people were actually. You know. Capable of feeling love for adults.
RE: bekabot
If you run so emotionally cold that you have to trick yourself into feeling love for someone, I’m kind of concerned. If I’m dating someone who CAN’T love me without mind games… I’d really rather just not be in a love relationship with them.
“Daddy” is the worst.
I read somewhere that Ronald Reagan called Nancy “Mommy”. There’s no way to make that not disturbing.
Dude, casting yourself as father figure to your love interest was only funny in Ouran High School Host Club, and it was done differently.
Oh, God, xsplat. I remember reading a thread on the Roosh forums, discussing whether or not it was okay to hit a woman (NOT in the context of a self-defense situation). The whole thread made me feel sick, and I was surprised to find myself actually not hating a couple of members who I’m sure I would hate in any other situation, just because their douchebaggery didn’t go so far that they were okay with domestic violence. Xsplat was not one of those members.
I’ve seen the “all girls like being choked” advice a few times. It’s literally made me afraid to have sex (not that that’s likely to happen any time soon anyway). I doubt I could even ask the person to stop in that situation – I mean, can you talk if you’re being choked? Not that I think they’d care if I did tell them to stop, and they’d probably think it was funny if it upset me as much as I know it would.
“Baby” is big in bluesy music, both past and present, too. Not just for significant others: for basically anyone within earshot, especially if they’re female-looking (and preferably young and indie-hot at that, but it isn’t required). I know more than one dude for whom some derivative is practically a verbal tic, so I’ve become kind of inured to it, like it’s grating but quiet background noise.
You should see the looks on dudes’ faces when I indulge a kind of subconscious impulse to level the playing field and call some of them “kiddo.” Like “OH MY GOD, THE DOG IS WEARING ITS MASTER’S CLOTHING!”
I’ve just been waiting for the self-awareness lightbulb to click on over their heads. Any time now … any time … who am I kidding. I won’t be holding my breath. But they better get used to being called “kiddo” in the meantime.
Men have a natural maternal instinct? Then why are only women punished for having the same instinct when it comes to salaries and job wages? “I won’t pay her as much,” thinks the boss. “She will be dividing her attention betweeen her children and the job anyway.”
Jesus, double-standard much?
Oh…wowww. xplat beelined for the bottom of the barrel, and then, unsatisfied with that, brought along a couple sticks of dynamite and an excavator.
Choking is really fucking dangerous; even if you’re not intending to cause physical harm, it’s easy to do. And somehow I bet these dudes don’t much care whether or not they cause physical harm, so if they’re going around saying all women like to be choked (nope) they’re nearly guaranteed to cause brain damage or death at some point. 0_o
“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Real Incest” -Worst ad campaign ever.
BritterSweet:
Yeah, and that was a joke about Tamaki’ s obliviousness (is that a word?).
But honestly this kind of attitude makes my flesh creep. Do they actually realize what they’re saying and what it reveals about them? It may not be incest but it’s sure as hell pedophilia.
cloudiah — yeah even this masochist is wary on breath play, and note the lack of the word choking. You see pecunium and I discussing that a while back on a nearly dead thread? He was having none of the idea that there’s a safe way to do it, just too many ways for it to go wrong. And that’s even if all parties know what they’re doing. Just deciding to go hands around the neck and squeeze is virtually guaranteed to go badly, or worse. *noptopuses away* (I’ve decided that it’s notopuses as a verb, plural remains sea beasties going nope)
Seriously though, consent, it isn’t optional (that’s directed at any lurking MRAs, I know y’all know that already!)
There does seem to be both a woman-as-mother trend (mama, old lady) AND a woman-as-child trend (baby, baby girl, arguably girlfriend), but “baby” seem to be the only thing that fits a man-as-child rather than a man-as-father idiom in English. Weird shit.
@Katz
You mentioned Boston. While covering Kansas for a friend’s scavenger hunt thingo on the weekend, I got to thinking – why exactly was there this sudden of influx of MOR-rock-groups-as-places in the ’70s-early ’80s? Did America and Kansas and Chicago and Boston and Asia and Nazareth and Europe all get that idea separately – perhaps combing feathered hair back stimulates some certain part of the brain?* – or what? Why was it only groups of very studio-friendly dudes playing poppy rock music with a vague progressive sheen that went for this naming style?
This was pre-Google, but still would’ve made for some awkward marquees and record-store conversations.
Before anyone gets pedantic, I’m referring only to groups that use the actual name of a place, not a nickname, not the last name of a singer spell it correctly, and don’t have any other words in the name. Of Montreal don’t count, Linkin Park don’t count, The Bay City Rollers don’t count, The Ohio Players don’t count (neither do the A-Town Players), Danzig and Washington don’t count.
@ Argenti
I think the issue with a lot of PUAs could be summed up as “consent – it’s never happened”. From this they have concluded that since no woman wants to fuck them that must mean that women don’t really want sex therefore (endless piles of creepy, self-justifying bullshit).
I call men “sweetie” when I think they need a reminder to ease up on the sexist condescension in a work situation.
And that asterisk in my first post ITT was meant to be complemented with “*still better science than MRA evopsych” at the bottom of that post. Way too fast on the post button these days, me.
There’s always “sport”, “champ” or “tiger” in the most dismissive and patronizing tone of voice you can do.