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An ode to the Average Woman of Today, from a man who hates her guts

The Average American Woman, Apparently
The Average Woman, Apparently

Over on MGTOWforums.com, a fellow calling himself donttrustwomen has written a little, well, I don’t quite know what it is — an essay? a manifesto? a poem? — called “The Average Woman of Today.” I think it’s fairly clear from reading it that he has never taken a course in statistics. And has possibly never actually met a woman.

The average woman of today is in the club every weekend

The average woman of today has 10-20 “good guy friends”

The average woman of today has 150 guys in her phone

The average woman of today dresses scandalous

I don’t know about that, but I’m pretty sure the average woman (of a certain age) of today watches Notorious.

Our MGTOW statistician continues:

The average woman of today has 1-2 abortions on her resume

I don’t think that generally goes on the resume. Where would it even go? Under “hobbies?”

Also, according to the Guttmacher Institute, less than half of American women have abortions by the age of 45. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

The average woman of today has or had a STD

Well, this is true. It’s also true of the average man of today. Indeed, according to the CDC, Human Papillomavirus (HPV) is so common that nearly all sexually active people get it at some point in their life. Happily, most STDs are treatable. Also, use condoms!

The average woman of today cheats on her boyfriend or husband

Well, this is also true, at least according to the stats I found here, which suggest that a little more than half of women cheat on their partners at some point in their life. But guess what? Men cheat on their partners in similar numbers.

The average woman of today curses like a sailor

The average woman of today wears to much makeup

The average woman of today seeks attention whether negative or positive

Huh. For some reason the first person who pops to mind when I hear the phrase “attention seeking” is not a woman.

The average woman of today is on dating sites getting 100 msgs a day

Not exactly. There aren’t good numbers on this, but one online experiment found that while more conventionally attractive women could indeed get dozens of messages a day, an average woman might get all of three.

Also, have you actually seen the sorts of messages women on dating sites get? Who would even want to sort through a hundred of these a day?

The average woman of today expects you to pay her bills

Uh, what?

The average woman of today expects you to raise and accept her child out of wedlock

Well, no. But if you do agree to, say, marry a woman with children, her kids do indeed come as part of the deal. Just as when a woman marries a divorced father with kids. You are of course free to not date women with children or indeed any women at all.

The average woman of today rarely brings any redeeming qualities to the table

I’m not really seeing how a regular commenter on MGTOWforums.com really has any reason to complain on this front.

The average woman of today is manipulative

The average woman of today is selfish

The average woman of today gets bored easily

I think you may actually be talking about kitties here, not women. But kitties are adorable, so we forgive them.

naughtykitties

Onward:

The average woman of today is on facebook, twitter, instagram feeding her ego through likes and followers

Yeah, no men ever do that.

The average woman of today would be stoned and called a harlot 3,000 years ago

The average woman of today rides the cock carousel

The average woman of today gives it up on the first night

Why does it make these guys so angry that there are women out there who enjoy having sex with men?

The average woman of today is unappreciative

Of dudes on the internet who hate her?

The average woman of today has lewd photos or videos circulating on the internet

Despite the astounding number of lewd pictures and videos online, I suspect that the percentage of women who’ve appeared in them is still relatively small. I wonder, though, how the number of women who’ve put nude or “lewd” pics of themselves on the internet compares to the number of guys who’ve sent dick pics to willing or unwilling recipients?

The average woman of today follows hypergamy

“Hypergamy,” in the traditional sense of “marrying upward” is actually on the decline, as women move in greater numbers into better paying jobs. “Doctors used to marry nurses,” Katrin Bennhold observes in a piece on the subject in the New York Times. “Now doctors marry doctors.”

The average woman of today files for divorce 70 percent of the time

Donttrustwomen seems to be confusing a couple of different statistics here. Yes, when couples divorce, the woman is more likely to be the one to file for divorce — though this does not necessarily imply that she’s the one responsible for breaking up the marriage. But 70% of marriages don’t end in divorce. Heck, the old saw about 50% of marriages ending in divorce is a myth; the correct percentage may be as low as 30.

The average woman of today looks for a starter husband

The average woman of today can’t tell the difference between a guy who cares about them and a guy who just wants them for sex

The average woman of today is unfit to marry or even call a girlfriend.

Keep telling yourself all this, dude. It’s in everybody’s best interests for you, personally, to continue to go your own way. Aren’t you guys getting an island, or something?

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Falconer
11 years ago

@katz: Wow. I’m going to have to check those out.

lightcastle
lightcastle
11 years ago

@katz – Thanks! I think I stopped after number 2, (maybe three?). This is great.

lightcastle
lightcastle
11 years ago

And looking over the thread, it seems I should be finding myself a copy of DOSbox.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: katz

I knew about those, but I have yet to get them. I’m saving them for a special occassion.

A shame they didn’t manage to re-interface IV, though!

katz
11 years ago

I think they may not be done? Anyway I hope they get to 4 since it’s the last text one.

wackyshenanigans
11 years ago

“The average woman of today has 150 guys in her phone”
Oh noes! They’re on to us. The matriarchal conspiracy to shrink men and trap them in telephones has been discovered. ABORT! ABORT!

emilygoddess
emilygoddess
11 years ago

The average woman of today is aware that she’s coming late to the thread, but is going to contribute anyway:

The average woman of today has been fortunate to have access to reliable, affordable birth control, but she would have an abortion in a hot minute if she found herself pregnant, and she’s not sorry.

The average woman of today doesn’t have anyone to go clubbing with, but she does miss dancing. She doesn’t miss getting grabbed by strange men in clubs, though, so it kind of works out.

The average woman of today can indeed be selfish and manipulative sometimes, but she’s trying to be a better person.

The average woman of today isn’t riding the cock carousel. This is mainly because she’s currently in a monogamous relationship, but even if she wasn’t, she thinks the pussy carousel looks like more fun.

The average woman of today most certainly can tell when a “friend” is only interested in her for sex, and is sick of people calling her conceited and just generally gaslighting her when she points it out. She also really, really hates those guys.

The average woman of today likes her pizza with pineapple and bullets. Wait, sorry, wrong meme

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Also, since the average woman of today is not emotionally 12 years old like most MRAs, she understands that sometimes guys who know her may be interested in both friendship AND sex, but willing to accept “no on the sex part” when they hear it because they’re not rapists. Like women often do when they both like someone and want to fuck them, funnily enough.

kittehserf
11 years ago

The average woman of today wouldn’t go clubbing if she was paid to, even if the average king of today had manifested and suggested it (which he wouldn’t). The average woman of today values her eardrums, doesn’t like the sort of music they play at clubs at any volume, doesn’t drink and doesn’t have the knees for dancing these days.

The average woman of today’s first preference is to spend time with the average king of today, doing whatever little things they feel like, preferably in the company of the average Furrinati of today.

The average woman of today has three men’s numbers on her phone: two co-workers and one vet.

The average woman of today finds the idea of having casual sex somewhere between “irrelevant” and “repellant”.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The average woman of today has tons of men’s numbers in her phone, and some of them belong to professional musicians, but the reason she has them is because of work and not because she’s banging them. Does that still count as sluttyevilbitchymisandry?

kittehserf
11 years ago

Totally, because she’s obviously friendzoned them!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I was going to say “what about the ones who’re gay?”, but then I remembered that MRAs think they the resent women not offering them sex too, for some reason that has yet to be explained.

kittehserf
11 years ago

On “the average” – Louis was amused by me calling him “the average king of today”, and called me “my average queen of today” this afternoon.

/mademesmiletrivia

neuroticbeagle
11 years ago

I guess the cats would be “the average empresses of today”?

kittehserf
11 years ago

LOL at the very least!

Anonymous Contributor
Anonymous Contributor
11 years ago

I am totally in favour of these guys getting their own island! I would donate money to that cause if it meant they never returned to civilized society.

J O'Connor
J O'Connor
11 years ago

Asian women leave western wimim for dead. They are so tight.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Aw, J O’Connor, that’s nice. Now run along and play, dear.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: J O’Connor

Sure, buddy, I’m sure you have ALL the experience to back that up.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

And then J O’Connor woke up.

Trolls these days.

Toddles Manboob
Toddles Manboob
11 years ago

“The average woman of today rarely brings any redeeming qualities to the table”

Maybe I just have different standards, but this contradicts like half of everything else on the list.

“The average woman of today curses like a sailor”
“The average woman of today gets bored easily”
“The average woman of today gives it up on the first night”

Seriously, where can I find this lady, she sounds like a firecracker!

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

“Wimim”?

Ally S
11 years ago

Asian women leave western wimim for dead. They are so tight.

Totally not creepy and racist at all.

kittehserf
11 years ago

Wi-Mim, the next step from Wi-Fi!

anonmale
anonmale
11 years ago

After seeing the list and the accompanying comments saying its true from abbortion to std to cheating..
Dont you girls secretly wonder that this is the reason for very low marriage rate. Guys are evolutionary pre programmed to find the “good girl” to minimize risk of raising other ppls children.. While girls are pre programmed to get the best genes or high social ranking guys (bad boys), then someone to nurture them and the kid (stable beta dude).
Seems to me with Std, abortion, low marriage rate etc thats common now, no one is getting what they want except the badboys…….. Be an adult and dont shoot the messenger..