Categories
cuteness dawgies off topic

An All-Goat Interpretation of the Men’s Rights Movement

I’m working on a longer post about you-know-who. In the meantime, enjoy these goats doing their best interpretation of the Men’s Rights movement.

But wait, there’s more!

And while we’re at it, here are some baby alpacas trying to figure out what a puppy is:

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

117 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
katz
8 years ago

Timbuk2s are fuckin’ amazing. And you can get them custom-made in the colors of your choice for a very reasonable price. And they last forever (I’ve had mine about 9 years now I think).

kittehserf
8 years ago

My purse (what USians call a wallet) is too big for any jeans pocket. I’m not sure it’d even fit in my overcoat.

But it does have a nice long clear strip for putting a driver’s license photo of Sir in. 🙂

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

In terms of purse-type items I usually carry a little thing that only has room for a couple of credit cards, ID, and some cash. You could fit it in even the tiniest pocket. What do people with massive wallets keep in them?

kittehserf
8 years ago

Tons of cards! 😀 Credit cards, travel cards and membership cards, plus cash.

kittehserf
8 years ago

Oh, and finally got to listen to the videos on this thread – love ’em. The kitty in the Interspecies Bonding one doesn’t just look like Katie, zie sounds exactly like her.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Discount cards for three pet stores…

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

But why carry them all the time? I put only the stuff I know I’ll need in my tiny wallet/credit card holder. Even if I’m carrying a bag it’s that, lipstick, mp3 player and earbud headphones, lip balm, tissues, ibuprofen, possibly tampons. That’s about it unless I’m going to be taking photos at a show and need to carry a bunch of other crap.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Oh, and mini mascara. I time makeup purchases so I can get the free mini mascara, just so I don’t have to carry a full size one around. I am anti-large bag.

kittehserf
8 years ago

‘Cos I never know when I’ll need them. My after-work shopping tends to be spontaneous, and given my route home usually takes me through the city, it could happen any day.

Not that it matters, because I have a load of stuff anyway, and a few cards more or less don’t make much difference. Between my makeup bag, which includes more pills and lotions than makeup, a bottle of water, packed lunch, umbrella, phone, knitting or book, my backpack’s always full. I hate being caught without things I frequently need.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Cuz I’m in a fish store more often than most people are in a bathtub (not shower, bath)

lowquacks
lowquacks
8 years ago

I manage to carry a huge assortment of cards for various libraries and qualifications and old tickets and insurance and that quite easily in a very modestly-sized wallet. fits easily in my front jeans pocket and i’m not a roomy-jeans type of person.

CassandraSays, my sister has your philosophy on carrying cards and is forever being caught without something she needs. Seems easier just to keep everything with you at once. My motorcycle jacket acts as a sort of handbag if I need it to, as well, and I tend to keep things in it rather than taking them out between wearing.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I honestly can’t remember the last time I was caught without something I needed. Sometimes the ibuprofen runs out, but there are drug stores all over the place so whatever. When I’m working at a show I’m forced to carry more stuff, but even then I jam everything into the most small, efficiently packed bag possible. Actually one of the main reasons I bought the cameras that I did is that they’re much smaller than average. (Also my hands are too small for a big camera.) I do own a few really pretty larger bags, but I only ever carry them when I’m going out for dinner/drinks and they’re part of the outfit.

kittehserf
8 years ago

I use bags far less than I use backpacks, so it isn’t really a problem. I always have a bottle of water, and usually a small umbrella (whether for rain or as a sunshade, it’s wise to have one in Melbourne) so a really small bag is out of the question anyway. Plus something to read or do on the train … an eighty minute trip with up to half an hour’s wait if I just missed a train is more time than I want to sit twiddling my thumbs.

Hrovitnir
8 years ago

Hmm, I really despise big wallets so I have a flat card wallet but I have to say I struggle a little. Fly Buys (loyalty card I use when I buy petrol), drivers license, eftpos, credit card (my bank won’t put them both on one card), library card, student ID, bus card. That means I have to double up on one pocket – also have a coffee card I use altogether too much at school. 😛

It’s pretty flat, but I wish I could streamline more. Anything I don’t carry with me ain’t getting used. Wallet, phone, keys: in my pockets and I’m good to go. And I don’t get butt pocket use – annoying when you sit, and I feel paranoid about them being more accessible back there.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I feel like putting my wallet in my back pocket would pretty much guarantee it would get stolen. I once put my keys in my back jeans pocket and forgot I’d done so till I sat down. Won’t be doing that again.

crmsnfrn
crmsnfrn
8 years ago

In high school I’d always carry my wallet in my back pocket, as I hated (and still hate) carrying purses. Randomly one night my dad told me I shouldn’t carry it there because it “spoils the view.” And then he told me I needed to dress more feminine and grow my hair out or I’d never attract a guy.

Ally S
8 years ago

I can’t stand putting my wallet in my back pocket. Instead, as a rule, I put it in my left pocket for some reason.

kittehserf
8 years ago

I also wouldn’t put a wallet/purse in a back pocket, though I’d be more likely to lose it than have it stolen. I don’t even like putting my phone there (it’s the small sort with the flip lid thingy, not one of the larger, thinner ones). I’ve had a couple of near-losses that way.

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

EVO-’SPLAIN THAT ONE TO ME!

He’s on a stage.
He’s raised above other men.
Lateral progress indicates alpha social status because berries collected were often lower to the ground, and so, men who didn’t have to bow down and get them obviously had more social status.
It became coded in because… genetics.

Therefore, they stare at his magnificent lump crotch because they intrinsically know his Iphone indicates his aloof alpha status.

Also, all men are essentially bisexual, and are just waiting for the right moment to experience this, which would clearly be with the person on a stage raised above their heads.

My work here is done.

[Drops smoke pellets]

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

In high school I’d always carry my wallet in my back pocket, as I hated (and still hate) carrying purses. Randomly one night my dad told me I shouldn’t carry it there because it “spoils the view.”

Okay…. that’s seriously creepy!

The reason one shouldn’t put one’s wallet there is that it’s an easy target for pick-pockets, nothing else!

Historophilia
Historophilia
8 years ago

I’m on the hunt for a much smaller wallet that will fit into a pocket (due to the curse of the tiny , useless or non-existant pockets on womens clothing) as mine is huge and I honestly can’t remember why I bought a big one when most of the space isn’t used.

I wish I could go handbag-less, and if the weather is right to wear my barbour jacket I usually do because it has a massive inside pocket which is really secure.

But if I’m wearing a different coat or none at all it’s impossible. I can fit a phone and keys in my jeans pockets, but not much more and there’s a fair amount of other stuff that I tend to need.

I like to be able to keep lip balm and hand cream on me as my skin gets quite dry, bottle of water because if I don’t drink enough when I’m out and about I get migraines, ibuprofen and plasters (in case of migraine, period pains or shoes rubbing), a little purse with a few tampons in case of sudden attack of early/late period, little packet of tissues, throat pastilles, fold up umberella because yo London weather, at least one pen, hand sanitiser because public toilets always run out of soap.

And then I have my purse and also oyster card holder which is the third essential item if you live in London, in fact probably the most essential. If I lost my phone, wallet and keys but not my oyster card I can at least get home with it.

But yeah, while I love being able to go bagless, if I have to have a bag I at least make good use of it with all emergency supplies on hand. And the one I have is big and squishy and can fit a whole coat folded up in it if needed which is the world most useful thing, but doesn’t take up much space when not full. But now it’s falling apart because it was only an H and M job for less than £20 and I’ve had it for years and I can’t find a good replacement 🙁

Malitia
Malitia
8 years ago

I’m also the big wallet / bag type person (I like messenger bags a lot).

In my wallet: My cards, cash, pictures, 3 pendrives (one with portable apps, one with bootable Linux, and one empty), an eraser … and a Yu-gi-oh card.

In my bag: an A5 ring binder with paper, “important notes” and a mechanical pencil; my phone, tissues, bottle of water, a CJ ball, screw drivers, e-book reader.

Did I mention that I was the IT at my last workplace?

Marie
Marie
8 years ago

Curses! At a time when I can’t watch videos, too! :'( (babysitting)

@Augochlorella

Mom: You know how you look at guy’s butts?

Me: Yes…

Mom: Well when women look at men’s butts they’re actually looking for their wallets.

Me: *activates parent escape pod*

Aaauuuuuuuggggh. Wow. You have my sympathies.

@cloudiah

Remember that episode of Seinfeld, where George Costanza had a really fat wallet but it was all receipts and shit? Shouldn’t that have made him the most attractive dude on earth?

That’s how my wallet is XD Its a good thing I carry my wallet in my purse, otherwise I would be too sexy to bear!

@david

I wonder if anyone could come up with a good evo psych explanation of the wallet thing. Did the most skilled mammoth hunters have weird rectagular bumps on their asses?

IT’S SCIENCE!!!!!!ELEVEN

@stormster

Hey guys, would it be possible to vent her about something, or should I go to an open thread?

Assuming the rest of everyone’s ok with it, I’m cool with you venting here.

@viscaria

Throughout evolutionary history, female humans have always chosen males with fat, flat buttock pads for their mating partners. The females recognized that their male offspring, should they inherit the rectangular buttock deposits, would have a better chance of survival; as they, like females, would be able to sit on hard surfaces.

That explains SO MUCH! XD

@Kittehs, well what it definitely means is any woman not sleeping with Tom is a hyper famous wh*re.

Cool, I never thought I’d qualify! (Hypergamous, hyper famous, either will do.)

It’s probably a sign I’ve been reading too much manboobz that my brain auto-corrected hyper famous to hypergamous. XD

And I’m going to post this before wordpress and/or children eat it.

Michael Søndberg Olsen

Randomly one night my dad told me I shouldn’t carry it there because it “spoils the view.” And then he told me I needed to dress more feminine and grow my hair out or I’d never attract a guy./blockquote> Oh what the hell? My skin is crawling like it’s trying to escape and I’ve never felt this pukey this sober.

Michael Søndberg Olsen

I fail at blockquoting sober, but when hazy and drunk I get it right? Huh…

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

I wonder if anyone could come up with a good evo psych explanation of the wallet thing. Did the most skilled mammoth hunters have weird rectagular bumps on their asses?

Remember how men look for women with symmetrical faces, because it’s a sign of good health? (well, I mean, not really, but in evo-psych land)

Well, the wallet makes you a-symmetrical.

And men are the logical sex, right, so we look for healthy people.

Women look for lop-sided butts, because they’re the opposite of men, and therefore anti-logical.

You see? SCIENCE! That’s why women love men with big wallets.

Podkayne
8 years ago

I pick handbags based on book sizes, so I have some smaller bags (suitable for phone/wallet/keys/paperback), some medium bags (same but enough room to fit a trade or small hardcover) and a BIG bag (used only for Stephen King epics in hardcovers basically). At least when male acquaintances make the usual jokes about “What do women need these big purses for hurr hurr?” it’s slightly funny when I open the bag, take out a huge book and PLONK it down with a straight face.

Amnesia
Amnesia
8 years ago

You know, even if guys don’t want to deal with the patriarchy induced stigma of carrying a purse, there are still plenty of options that don’t involve having to sit on their wallet. Backpacks, messenger bags, briefcases, tool belts, cargo pants, duffel bags… Heck, I use an old gameboy carrier as a ‘purse’ on days when I don’t need to take my laptop with me.

Falconer
8 years ago

My purse (what USians call a wallet) is too big for any jeans pocket.

The wallet/billfold thing has confused more than one Yankee.

Nine-year-old me got confused while reading Prince Caspian. Caspian’s mentor decides it’s time to go when C’s uncle starts murderizing the royal family, so the text describes him loading food into a wallet. I came up short, thinking, how do you fold a cheese?

And later, when I was spending four months in France in college, we were reading Stendahl’s Le Rouge et Le Noir (in English), and the protagonist is described as carrying a purse, leading one of the leading lights of the bro faction to conclude the guy was a “f*****.”

<blockquote.But why carry them all the time? I put only the stuff I know I’ll need in my tiny wallet/credit card holder.

Lassitude, and the fear that I might lose something I need if I remove it from the wallet.

‘Sprobably time for another pruning. I know I’ve got an expired gift card in there.

Oh, and my health insurance card is as important as my driver’s license, even though my health coverage is teh suxx0rs. I sit in a one-ton vehicle and rocket along at 50 mph at least twice a day, most days. It’s a wonder I’ve survived this long.

Randomly one night my dad told me I shouldn’t carry it there because it “spoils the view.”

Ew.

I can’t stand putting my wallet in my back pocket. Instead, as a rule, I put it in my left pocket for some reason.

For some reason, wallet and phone in my right pocket, keys, chapstick and any flash/thumb/pen drives in my left. Then I carry groceries or books in my left hand, requiring some juggling when I need to unlock a door.

The biggest bag I carry is just a book bag. I usually use it on my way to game night, and I load up ALL THE BOOKS in it because I’m anal.

CURSE D&D for having three core rulebooks.

Falconer
8 years ago

Three out of four ain’t bad.

Heck, I use an old gameboy carrier as a ‘purse’ on days when I don’t need to take my laptop with me.

I once found some little thing with a strap and a front pocket, and a belt loop, to carry my Gameboy in. This was an old-school ‘boy, mind, as big as a brick with a two-inch, four-shades-of-gray screen that ran on four AAs (how universal is the AA battery? Anybody here need a link?). I could fit six of its humongous carts in the front pocket and wedge a couple more in the main pocket with the ‘boy.

Amnesia
Amnesia
8 years ago

@Podkayne
Yes, those jokers are annoying. I extrapolate that they are probably not geeks, because most geeks could understand a need for a bag that could carry books, DVDs, laptops, cords, gaming systems, notebooks, art supplies, lunch…

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

My pockets are starting to get overloaded. Too much electronics, too much stuff. No good solution in the future. I may have to get some kind of bag to carry around with me.

cloudiah
8 years ago

I tend to find wallets/bags that I like for aesthetic reasons, and then adapt to their size. For a while I had the world’s tiniest backpack, so pretty much all I carried was my wallet, though in a pinch I could fit a netbook or iPad in there awkwardly. I bought my current favorite purse because it reminded me of a bowling bag; it’s not massive, but I can easily fit my wallet, ebook reader, iPad, travel umbrella, lipbalm, phone, bus card, etc. (My sister always carries what I call her Mary Poppins bag, a huge thing which contains every single thing she would need to survive 2 weeks alone in the Himalayas, or a day at work in New Haven.)

My wallet is a lovely thing I bought in Denmark.

But if I’m going somewhere where a purse is inconvenient, I just take ID, cash, one credit card and my keys, and they all go in my pockets.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

I love purses/handbags, so I have several I use depending on my outfit or mood. Usually though, if I’m just running errands, I just cram my cards into a pocket.

I usually have my work keycard in my bra, since women’s clothes have tiny or no pockets.

bluecat
bluecat
8 years ago

Backpack. Or a bumbag (aka fannypack) for minimalism. Sizes vary and also styles depending on if I’m going to work, study, forage, recreation or what.

I cannot carry a handbag without wanting to clonk someone over the head with it, can’t carry a shoulder bag since I lived in the bag-snatching capital of Europe many years ago, and … what is a clutchbag anyway? and what’s the point of something you can’t fit pen, notebook, sketchpad and reading material into?

Also it leaves your hands free.

Marie
Marie
8 years ago

I prefer using a purse instead of pockets. Mostly because women’s clothes have tiny pockets, and many of my clothes have no pockets, so it’s easier. I also cram a lot of stuff in it, and that way I know so long as I have my purse I’ve got all my stuff. (learners permit, sunglasses, random make up, ect.)

leftwingfox
8 years ago

Historophilia: Have you considered a tyvek paper wallet? It’s the same material used in the thin FedEx packages, so it’s pretty durable, and my brother has been using one I got him for christmas a few years back.

http://www.vat19.com/dvds/the-mighty-wallet.cfm

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

In high school I’d always carry my wallet in my back pocket, as I hated (and still hate) carrying purses. Randomly one night my dad told me I shouldn’t carry it there because it “spoils the view.”

Eww. Sorry that happened.

I’m reminded of when I was 20 or so and living with my uncle and his girlfriend. He swatted my behind when I was bending to get something from a low cupboard in the kitchen in a dressing gown. Apparently he “had to,” because it was “right there.”

Marie
Marie
8 years ago

@viscaria

Ew. Your uncle sounds like a real asshole.

Viscaria
Viscaria
8 years ago

But is he really an asshole, or do women’s butts exist just to be swatted? (Answer: he is kind of an asshole.)

Falconer
8 years ago

I remember one afternoon when I was in middle school, after the buses had arrived and we’d been dismissed, standing in the scrum around the lockers waiting to get a chance to get to mine. A young woman standing in front of me swung her purse up and over her shoulder, and she must not have thought anyone was behind her, because she swung it up high and hit me in the cheek.

She was apologetic, but you know how schools are. Within five minutes some other boy came up to congratulate me for being bold enough to grab her butt, which he’d heard prompted the purse-swatting.

crmsnfrn
crmsnfrn
8 years ago

Had to do things! On the creepy dad is creepy thing:

It is certainly one of the creepiest things he’s ever said to me. :l
I remember saying something along the lines of not giving a fuck about people’s view of my ass. Then I left the room.

I feel the need to explain that he probably meant it, along the same line of growing my hair long and dressing feminine, as a ‘please stop acting like a lesbian.’ He was very afraid I would end up gay. So, it was more homophobic then anything else.

crmsnfrn
crmsnfrn
8 years ago

I’m reminded of when I was 20 or so and living with my uncle and his girlfriend. He swatted my behind when I was bending to get something from a low cupboard in the kitchen in a dressing gown. Apparently he “had to,” because it was “right there.”

Ugh. I’ve had a few male relatives pull the same shit. There’s no limit to how not fucking right that crap is.

Ally S
8 years ago

In high school I’d always carry my wallet in my back pocket, as I hated (and still hate) carrying purses. Randomly one night my dad told me I shouldn’t carry it there because it “spoils the view.” And then he told me I needed to dress more feminine and grow my hair out or I’d never attract a guy.

=S Wow that’s creepy.

My dad has told my sister something similar. He doesn’t want her to do weight-lifting because he thinks that no man will marry her if she looks “like a man.” >_>

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

My dad has told my sister something similar. He doesn’t want her to do weight-lifting because he thinks that no man will marry her if she looks “like a man.” >_>

Yuck.

On the other hand, I’d say it’s an excellent way to weed out the kind of people you wouldn’t want to date in the first place. They have a problem with a woman who lifts weights? Well, isn’t that INTERESTING.

What exactly about a strong woman intimidates you?

Howard Bannister
8 years ago

And just because we’re talking about women weight-lifting…

http://www.themarysue.com/13-year-old-bench-presses-240-lbs/

Have a 13-year-old benchpressing 240 pounds.

girlofthegaps
8 years ago

Man, I get irritated with my family because they don’t believe the gender wage gap is a thing and they’re douchey about a lot of other stuff, but at least they don’t grab my butt or tell my sister and I that we can’t work out because we’ll look too manly. Hell, my dad makes it a competition with my sister when it comes to lifting or erging. Give thanks for small blessings, I suppose.

dustydeste
dustydeste
8 years ago

Oh feh, I was logged into one of my other accounts… Sorry about that!

crmsnfrn
crmsnfrn
8 years ago

My dad has told my sister something similar. He doesn’t want her to do weight-lifting because he thinks that no man will marry her if she looks “like a man.”

Ugh. Two summers ago he was scolded me for cutting my hair really short, about 1 1/2 inches all over. He asked me why I ‘dyked my head’, then spent the entire lunch break we had telling me how my then deployed husband was going to leave me and he wouldn’t blame him in the slightest.