Leave it to the guys at Roosh V’s Return of Kings blog to find a bright side, of sorts, to a study reporting that one in five Americans suffered from some sort of mental illness in 2010, with more women (23%) amongst those affected than men (16.8%).
Since “at least a quarter of the women you run into at any given time are not going to be alright upstairs,” RoK contributor Athlone McGinn argues, and the percentage is likely to be much higher amongst younger women, you might as well use this fact to your advantage.
But first you need to accept the disadvantages. For one thing, you need to realize your powerful man-logic won’t work on these gals:
If you’re 18-25, you will in many cases be dealing with someone who is fundamentally incapable of being reliably rational.
Never mind that most mental illnesses don’t affect the ability to think rationally about most things. Someone with an intense phobia of Donald Trump’s hair, for example, is able to think rationally about everything except Donald Trump’s hair.
Maybe that’s a bad example. I’m not sure it’s entirely irrational to be afraid of Donald Trump’s hair.
And, like their sane counterparts, the crazy ladies may sometimes turn you down. But at least this time you don’t have to feel so bad about yourself.
You may think you’re a loser because you get shot down by these girls more than you’d like, but this isn’t always the case: you’re often dealing with not-entirely-alright girls with illogical criteria.
Oh, but McGinn assures us that “[t]his isn’t an excuse, mind you.” You still need to make sure your “game” is tight. Just don’t be too hard on yourself, because women (like the prices at Crazy Eddie’s electronics emporiums) are literally insane.
So what’s the great advantage of dating a woman who’s mentally ill? McGinn is a bit vague, probably deliberately, but essentially he suggests that men can keep “dysfunctional” women in line by treating them like shit:
Dysfunctional treatment is often welcomed by dysfunctional people, and many of those with mental issues fit that bill. Since we’ve already established that a very large number of young women fit into that category, you should not be surprised to see so many of them respond positively to dysfunctional behavior.
It is not uncommon for young men to adopt some of these dysfunctional behaviors, find increased sexual/romantic success with their female peers as a result, and then feel guilty about it all. Such guilt is understandable (they don’t like the fact that morally degraded versions of themselves are more appealing to girls in general than the men they actually prefer to be), but ultimately unnecessary—there is nothing a man can do about the female proclivity to welcome such behavior except adapt to it. It is the result of factors much bigger than him.
Poor pickup artists! They don’t want to be abusive, manipulative, exploitative assholes and terrible people generally. They’re driven to this awful behavior by forces beyond their control — like the fact that women are statistically somewhat more likely to suffer from mental illness than men.
As someone that’s been abused by someone with mental health issues, I don’t think it’s ableism to point out that some people with mental health or behavioral health issues can be abusive. I’m not convinced that it’s ableist to say that an individual is abusive because of their mental health issues. Some people with some types of disorders can express it with violence, manipulation, verbal and emotional abuse.
What’s ableist is to say that everyone with a mental/behavioral issue is unstable, an abuser, irrational, etc, simply because they have a dignosis. Or that because an individual has a mental health issue, they must automatically be an abuser, a liar, unstable, etc. It’s just not true and I’d venture to guess that most people with a mental illness are none of these things.
Oh, the troll has gone. Boohoo, I really wanted yet another d00d harping on about this super special new (and very complicated sounding) college hookup culture that needs super special rules and instructions to navigate . Which I really don’t think exists anywhere but the minds of these guys who think women are a strange species which must be overanalysed and have cheat codes and whatnot. I swear to Glob, so far I have studied at 3 institutions – 2 campus based and 1 in a large city (one of those is one of the smallest and the other one of the largest in the UK which makes for a nice comparison) and just…seriously, pleeeeenty of people manage to get together without all this dishonesty, abuse and the silly routines and faux psychoanalysis.
I really need to find somewhere I can try out some of the Korean BB creams, they sound exactly what I want for my skin (non-claggy texture! shades suitable for really pale skin! sunscreen out the wazoo!) but I’ve not seen them in any shops yet.
Fuck cancer. All the hugs, Cloudiah.
“””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””;l
””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””p[;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;
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I leave my macbook for a few seconds, only to find my cat on the keyboard when I come back with this in the comment box. x I think that was supposed to be for you, cloudiah. Make of it what you will.
And *hugs*
cloudiah, all the hugs.
Amnesia: cat typing! Mr. HK has a file called “Lilly’s Diary” with her assorted messages from getting on the keyboard.
@hellkell
You also possess important Furrinati missives? I hope tZ they have all reached their intended recipients. If not, the cat anger consequences can be dire, you know.
@Hellkell, is it anything like this diary?
http://youtu.be/PKffm2uI4dk
By the way, my stepdad was diagnosed with — very early, very treatable, very survivable– testicular cancer a couple of weeks ago. Not a big deal, he’s going to be fine, keep all the hugs going cloudiah’s way. I’m just saying this because I’ve really been feeling the “fuck cancer” lately.
What am I saying? It is prostate cancer, not testicular cancer. Who the hell gets their own dad’s cancer wrong? I can’t even.
HAha, no Lilly’s diary LOOKS like gibberish, but I’m sure it’s Furrinati code.
We already had some cat anger consequences this morning, Her Fatness peed in the shower. We think she was pissed because she threw up all her food eating too fast.
Viscaria: I will give you the hugs! It’s still kind of scary, even if it is minor.
Oh, and Biscuit’s new thing is going into the hallway and yowling (I think he’s having a teenage hormone surge, even tho he’s fixed). If I yowl back at him, he’ll come trotting over scritches. I don’t know what we’re saying, but it seems to work.
I’m sorry to hear about your friend, Cloudiah.
For cloudiah.
I’m sorry. Fuck cancer.
Fuck cancer.
( I should amend that and also add: “Holy shit that sucks. Condolences and jedi hugs. If there’s anything to be done over the medium of the Internet, just ask” )
test
Final-fuckin-ly, I haven’t been able to post on manboobz for ages now thanks to WordPress’ fuckery.
@cloudiah
All the hugs! I’m not sure if you’ve left for the funeral already, but I know you’ll be amazing.
@Viscaria
Hugs for you too. Cancer’s always scary. Thankfully, my uncle’s prostate cancer’s in remission now, but it’s terrifying how much it’s aged him.
Hugs, hugs, and more hugs for you, cloudiah. Cancer sucks.
Bummer, cloudiah. Hope you get through it okay.
Also, Erwan is really making my hackles rise. We get it, pal, you got abused by someone with BPD. Thing is, I know a LOT of bipolar folks who aren’t abusive at all. (Do they mean Bipolar or Borderline? I get all those damn things confused.) I don’t really know anyone with borderline that I know of, but I also have no problem believing some of them aren’t abusive.
(I have a whole canned rant about this idea about uber-manipulative multis. It’s like there are only three types of multi in pop culture– the male powerful axe-murderer, the female powerless victim, and the master manipulator.)
Cloudiah, *hugs*
Nova:
Absolutely. There is little question that some mental illnesses, as they manifest in some people, contribute to abusive behavior. It isn’t ableist to talk about those experiences. It is ableist to generalize about all mentally ill people, or even all people with that specific illness, because of it.
It also isn’t ableist to talk about how getting in a relationship with someone who has a mental illness might affect the non-disabled partner. Let’s take depression as an example. If someone said, “Dating someone who has major depression can be difficult. If it’s serious enough, you may wind up having to take care of them in many ways,” I don’t think most people would think that is ableist. Mental illness does affect those close to the person who has it in various ways, and there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging it.
The problem with Erwan is that he is doing what you described in your second paragraph and apparently generalizing his experience to all people suffering from mental illness (or at least borderline personality disorder; I’m not quite sure how far he’s going with that, but he’s not earning the benefit of the doubt).
Borderline. And seeing how my psych got all “wait, no one’s ever suggested you might be?!” Yeah, hackles fucking raised.
That was a “fun” series of emails with pecunium, wherein we determined most people could be pigeonholed into it. Binge drinking? You mean drinking to get drunk? Casual sex? IMPLUSIVE AND RECKLESS!! Sarcastic? It’s a cover for anger! Seems like my refusal to pick a binary gender is “unstable self image”, so that’s three points right there. Toss in “yes, thank you, my mood does vary, I have a fucking mood disorder” and how easy it is to twist paranoid to mean anything, like, oh, my PTSD hypervigilance?
Yeah, I can be pigeon holed into it by calling multiple sex partners of a long term sort and practicing safe sex as impulsive and reckless, and my gender as unstable…
That sarcasm one…*dies* you guys all know how we are here, imagine how bad we are when you don’t have to censor for your “I don’t want to know!” benefit (not like that Mac, not that I’ve changed my mind in regards to that)
Also *bows* one bipolar smart ass at your service, how many I be of use while my brain is rejecting the idea of sleep, or slowing down?
I was in no fucking state to comment on that yesterday, but yeah, this entire thread has gotten under my skin.
Found a new psych for you:
http://media-cache-ec2.pinimg.com/736x/4c/41/a8/4c41a892cadead3f791e64aef4e2d193.jpg
Substitute fish for cat
http://media-cache-ec3.pinimg.com/736x/60/f9/c3/60f9c3e21caef9f43f0187a8d15f5009.jpg
^.^ my puffers even think I’m yummy! (Well, not so skittish does, skittish is still a bit wary of The Hand)
I’ getting “The Look” right now…give dog treat…give the dog a treat.. the dog is cute, give her a treat…
Yep, they’ll do that. It’s part of why that tank had been set up for puffs for months, I just finally found some. Fish that beg like puppies *shakes head*