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Men’s Rightsers fall for obvious bullsh*t, part ten million and two

Heh heh heh. No, really, just click.
Heh heh heh. No, really, just click.

Hello, and welcome to The Man Boobz Fiction Workshop! Today we will learn my foolproof two-step method for writing believable fiction. It’s as easy as pie — well, easier, since pie can take a bit of finesse — and it is absolutely GUARANTEED to work.

Here it is.

STEP ONE: Write believable fiction.

STEP TWO: If step one fails, write a story that makes a woman look evil and foolish, and post it to the Men’s Rights Subreddit as a true story.

If you don’t believe me, check out this little story from a fella calling himself the-final-word — a Redditor for less than two weeks, with only one previous comment to his name — in which a highly successful gentleman happily humiliates an ex-girlfriend trying to steal his money with the old “baby” ploy.

the-final-word 47 points 1 day ago.  I had one daughter with my first wife in my early 20s and we divorced when she was 6. I was shocked to find out just 3 years later when I was being checked out for a prostate infection that I had become completely infertile since then (yes, daughter is mine, I had a dna check done to be sure). Doc said that sometimes the factory just shuts down and there's no good reason.  Fast forward 10 years and I'm getting pretty damn successful at my job and the bank is adding up. One day there's a knock at the door and there stands a tearful and angry ex gf with a toddler in her arms. You can guess the story she rolls out. I didn't want to ruin your life, its been so hard, he has your eyes blah blah blah. After about 20 mins of standing in my door and her blathering on she stops and looks at me angrily and says "why are you just staring at me with that look? Dont you realize how serious this is?".  So I replied "Oh, well.. I've been completely infertile since I was 27 and have the medical records to prove it. So I'm really just trying to decide whether it was your boss or your ex bf you were fucking while we dated. He looks more like your boss to be honest".  Believe it or not that actually stunned her into complete mouth-haging-open style silence. So I just closed the door in her face and went back inside to finish the game I was watching. My then 19 year old daughter sticks her head around the corner from the kitchen, where she'd overheard the whole thing and said "Seriously Dad. You have GOT to stop fucking crazy bitches.... like SERIOUSLY".  Never heard from that woman again, but I heard from a friend that she tried to pin the kid on her ex bf after that but he got a paternity test and it wasn't his either.  I have to confess, I fell asleep grinning that night!

Take a look at the thread itself to see how eagerly the Men’s Righsers eat up his tale of victory over evil womanhood!

That is the beauty of my two-step method. If people don’t believe your bullshit, find a more gullible audience. And there are few audiences in this world more gullible than Men’s Rightsers.

I should note that I had nothing to do with the-final-word’s story, nor did I sneak into the Men’s Rights subreddit to give his story 47 upvotes and a bunch of positive comments.

Thanks to hackattack92 in the AgainstMensRights Subreddit for pointing out this wonderful example of shitthatneverhappened.txt

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Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

Catching up on all the life stories… Monster’s story made me laugh SO HARD!

John-H
John-H
11 years ago

When I was a young beta penguin in the antartic this female penguin used to come around after she was done fucking all the alpha penguins and get me to feed her fish and huddle with her for warmth. Then she turned thirty and none of the alphas would fuck her so she fucked me and then waddled away with our used condom in her beak. This confused me so I lucked it up and that led to me taking the red pill and figuring out that I am an alpha and also a human so I swam away from the arctic to fuck all the HB10 human females.
A few months later she left snowland and turned up at the door of my mansion that I got for winning a gold medal at swimming and being an invetnter she had an egg cradled in her feet that she wanted me to keep warm so it wouldn’t die. But I knew all about penquins from my study of the works of the great mra follosophers so I shouted that isn’t mine all you penguins are whores. She was too shocked to say anything so I just slammed the door on her and then all my sons that I totally had with HB10 human females came out and started saying how I totaly put that penguin in her place and she couldn’t even respond she was so owned. Then my daughter came out of the kitchen and said something about how fucking penguins is illegal and that she couldn’t respond because penguins can’t talk but we knew she had been reading feminazi blogs so we pushed her into the kitchen and told her to make us some sammiches.
That night standing up with my head tucked into my chest and my suns standing around me for warmth I went to sleep with a smile.

AndersH
AndersH
11 years ago

Upvote and totally bro fistbump, John-H. It’s only through brave male action like yours that sly females like Shiraz can be stopped!

Radical Parrot
11 years ago

This is the best thread ever. Let me try!

So I was once this total beta who had a crush on this girl to whom I bought gifts and listened to her problems (I did this thing where when she was talking, I’d just nod and smile like I was listening, because girls talking, whew, amirite?) but her cruel female brain made her ride the cock carousel and she was leading me on and friendzoning me.

Anyway, I took the Red Pill and realized the error of my ways and became an alpha who once got a girl I was chatting with on a forum put a smiley at the end of her message which totally means she wants me and then I blew her off and she logged off which also totally means she wants me. Then, one day, I stalked this friendzoning whore (totally an alpha move, as it took the power away from her because she didn’t know I was there) to catch her being a hypergamous slut whore. She went about her business, first to breakfast and coffee in a small restaurant that was her favorite (I took a steak because alpha), then to work (I had to use binoculars to see her office from the roof of a nearby building), then to the gym (she went to an all-females aerobics class, misandry in action), and finally back to the small restaurant, where she had a latte. Where were the alphas she was banging? They couldn’t have been in the gym, as I pressed my face against the window real hard and could see her all the time.

Suddenly I realized she must have noticed me and was just pulling my strings like the heartless bitch that she is! She must have been riding the cock carousel every time I was in the bathroom! I finally confronted her in the restaurant, where I climbed on the table and told her just what a fucking slut she was for not being my girlfriend when I was a nice guy and now it was too late because I had taken the Red Pill and become an alpha and would be swimming in girls and had started taking programming classes to make billions like Bill Gates and I would be dug like crazy and how I would have to be careful not to let the females steal my sperm to force me to pay for their make-ups and shoes with the child support. I also told her how the hypergamy was programmed into her female brain by the power of evolution but she was still responsible for her actions because they work to make men victims of circumstance. So yeah, I basically called her out on her shit. The look on her face was priceless.

After the speech, I swear I grinned from ear to ear as I looked around the restaurant, preparing for the applauds. But they didn’t give me a standing ovation! WTF? They were just sort of sitting there, with a look of confusion on their faces. With dawning horror and disgust, I realized that these people had been brainwashed by feminist propaganda! Unacceptable!

Right there on that table, I started giving them all this totally alpha speech about the dangers of females getting rights in this society and how being a stupid jerk beta mangina was totally uncool and I swear I could’ve given the guys in the restaurant the Red Pill right there and then if not the feminist commie nazi staff had come and dragged me out (they cowardly attacked me from behind, typical beta move because they couldn’t handle a straight-up fight with an alpha like me).

I knew the justice system is unfairly biased against straight white men (I’ve seen a couple of these gay shows on TV, proves society has been taken over by gays and straight men are shamed all the time for being straight), so I didn’t go to the cops to report this violation of my free speech. Do you guys have any advice on how to deal with this problem? I’ve been reading your awesome stories for a while now, and I haven’t yet encountered any society as deeply in the spell of feminist dark magics as mine. What should I do? Should I leave? Or do I stick around, in the hopes of changing the corrupt system from the inside? I am dreading the day when the feminists come in their panzerfausts and drag me to the sex camps where I’m forced to be domineered by strong feminist women with muscles gleaming in the lamplight who use me purely for breeding purposes as I lie naked on the table and a constant stream of women moves in and out only to have sex with me okay now I gotta go but plz answer my question

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

@Radical Parrot: Well, if I remember correctly you’re a Swede, like me, and we all know that Sweden is a “hotbed of misandry” and “feminist Saudi Arabia”, amiright? I think your best move would be to move to a different country.

Now, you can’t move to the states, because the states have been completely taken over by feminazis and all American women are slutty whores who ought to be boycotted. And you can’t move to any country that has hard chairs, street lights or air port security because that’s misandry too. And you can’t move to the actual Saudi Arabia because the females there have completely taken over the country, forcing da poor menz to do all the work for them while they just sit at home eating bon-bons.

You really ought to move to Abroad. Abroad is this amazing country where all the females love to be submissive to real men and cater to their every whim. So that’s my advice; move to Abroad. I know I will soon!

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

Oh, wait, I just remembered that I’m a female; better stay in Sweden then.

Sporklift
Sporklift
11 years ago

AK, is it a case of the same few people bringing it up? Or is it the group as a whole? I only ask because if it’s one person, I’d be tempted to turn it back on them: “So suddenly she’s trans* just because she’s flirting with Steve and Joe? Because it sounds like you have a problem with that. That says more about you than it does her.” I’d also allow myself to get exsaperated at the people who keep bringing it up: “Really? This again? Why are we even talking about this? Is there literally NOTHING else to talk about that we have to talk about this?” and “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

This is, of course, if you haven’t already tried this. I just get annoyed at stuff like this, because while I’m clueless at times, some of my friends are even more clueless than me, and there are times where trying to educate them is an uphill battle, and I don’t always have the energy for it. It also depends on how well they’d react – with one friend, I just have to cut him off with a “Why the hell do you even care?” but with another friend, I can explain why, even if he doesn’t fully understand it but he’ll get that it’s NOT COOL.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

Auggziliary, I actually can’t remember what was so misandric about them, or if it even was explained? But David once quoted from an MRA who had been “abroad” and then came back to the USA and whined about how feminism had taken over everything, and some proofs of that was the airport security and street lights.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Damn it, Cassandra, how could I not take a peek after reading bait like this — ” WTF am I looking at?”

I looked, and the first image at the top of the page made my eyes cross.
Oh, and did you notice how the site lists what it’s all about (apparently, cockrubbing and every variation you can think of) and then concludes with….”…and mixed martial arts.”
What?

skeptifem
11 years ago

re: trans issues

I have stopped a lot of these conversations at workplaces by saying something thoughtful about it, like “I wonder what it is like to be a trans person. I know they get beat up for being trans so it must be very scary to find a partner. I don’t know what I would do in that situation, it is hard to say because I’ve never really had to deal with that.” something like that. It makes people feel like jerks for being judgmental and might make them actually use some empathy.

If they won’t consider a different point of view maybe you should go somewhere else. they kind of sound like jerks to begin with honestly.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

@ Shiraz

I have revised my interpretation of the dude on the right’s look. You know what that is? Mad Max crossed with Shout at the Devil-era Nikki Sixx.

These guys really are an onion of lulz. It’s not the frottage (perfectly reasonable preference, that), it’s how defensive they are about being associated with those other gay guys, over there, no we’re not like that! Well, that and the literal dick wrestling. I keep wondering how they plan to explain the potential injuries to the nice people at the ER.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

“I have revised my interpretation of the dude on the right’s look. You know what that is? Mad Max crossed with Shout at the Devil-era Nikki Sixx.”

Yeah, yeah…I can see all that, and I find myself wondering just what in the hell the artist was going for.

Ally S
11 years ago

@Skeptifem

I do the same thing sometimes. In a way, I do so in order to help me discern who is cissexist and who isn’t; people who are cissexist are more likely to say something like “Yeah, I feel bad for them, but they’re just so weird!’

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

skeptifem — you just said what I was trying to get at in that rambling mess. Thank you.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Weird? So is microwaving your food. That’s a whole lot newer than the existance of trans* people. (Yes I’m trying for absurdity here)

Ally S
11 years ago

Yes, under Sharia (or Sharia-like systems) a woman needs four witnesses in the city. (Men of course.) In the country, it is a bit more lax because people might not hear her yelling out in the country. It comes direct from the Quron.

I think MRA’s would like this law in the US.

And also, according to Islam:

1. Owning and raping slaves is a Muslim man’s right.
2. Marital rape is not a crime.
3. Child marriage (and sexually abusing child “spouses”) is okay at any age.
4. The reason women are asked to cover themselves up is so that they avoid being sexually assaulted or harassed.
5. Abortion is only acceptable when the pregnant person’s life is in danger.
6. Contraception is forbidden.
7. A woman’s testimony is less valuable than a man’s.

Real peaceful religion right there…for some people.

Robert
Robert
11 years ago

The various riffs on the OP fantasy make me think of a more enjoyable version of the Aristocrats joke.
And that’s real.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Totally off topic (though I love the story variations!) but I came here to post a video of the cute dog who lives with my friends in the mountains. Back story: Normally, her tail is extremely wiggly, and when you call her name she usually pops right up, but she was chasing ground squirrels this morning so she was tired and I could only get her to wiggle a little bit:

anadiomene122
anadiomene122
11 years ago

I happen to know for a fact that most of these stories on Reddit are written by trolls.

I know, shocking…

ashley
ashley
11 years ago

Did anybody see that new anti-fem posters have gone up in Saskatoon? These ones sponsored by A Voice For Men, and claiming that Canada is “the worst place to be a man.”

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/anti-feminism-posters-pop-saskatoon-150518911.html

Ally S
11 years ago

Yahoo news comment:

“Men have many messages, but the lesbo-feminists keep going to brainwash our children with anal and oral sex and go bi-sexual. Canada is a sick Country these days and as a woman I am sick and tired of it as well.”

…whut

kittehserf
11 years ago

I just took a look at the Cockrub Warriors and … whut? It wasn’t even the bizarre artwork, it was stuff like this:

“Think that nothing matches the freedom, the equality, the romance and the pure masculine sensuality of two men joined cock to cock balls to balls chest to chest face to face and heart to heart? ”

If I didn’t have a splitting headache right now I’d be falling around laughing at that writing.

kittehserf
11 years ago

LOL poor dog!

dustydeste
dustydeste
11 years ago

“…some controversial posters…”

Yeah I’m going to have to go with being kind of offended that “controversial” is the adjective here. I mean, is every piece of fecal matter vomited up by the dregs of humanity really worthy of controversy? Is it so hard to just say, wow, that’s a piece of shit, and then move on with one’s life without legitimizing MRAs by considering their stuff “controversial” rather than the useless crap it is?

Ugh.