Hello, and welcome to The Man Boobz Fiction Workshop! Today we will learn my foolproof two-step method for writing believable fiction. It’s as easy as pie — well, easier, since pie can take a bit of finesse — and it is absolutely GUARANTEED to work.
Here it is.
STEP ONE: Write believable fiction.
STEP TWO: If step one fails, write a story that makes a woman look evil and foolish, and post it to the Men’s Rights Subreddit as a true story.
If you don’t believe me, check out this little story from a fella calling himself the-final-word — a Redditor for less than two weeks, with only one previous comment to his name — in which a highly successful gentleman happily humiliates an ex-girlfriend trying to steal his money with the old “baby” ploy.
Take a look at the thread itself to see how eagerly the Men’s Righsers eat up his tale of victory over evil womanhood!
That is the beauty of my two-step method. If people don’t believe your bullshit, find a more gullible audience. And there are few audiences in this world more gullible than Men’s Rightsers.
I should note that I had nothing to do with the-final-word’s story, nor did I sneak into the Men’s Rights subreddit to give his story 47 upvotes and a bunch of positive comments.
Thanks to hackattack92 in the AgainstMensRights Subreddit for pointing out this wonderful example of shitthatneverhappened.txt
@LBT: I’m… not sure? I sort of looked at it bemusingly, wondering, what do gay Romans have to do with my recipe hunting? and why are they so hung up on male bonding being so super superior to anyone else’s bonding? and… oh it says something about g0ys this is clearly nonsense. And then I reported it as spam and found some awesome recipes for tacos or something.
“Oh god I just realized that song is over a decade old now. WHAT THE HELL? Where did those years go?”
Idk about you, but “down a rabbit hole of insanity” is my answer (actually, I wasn’t exactly sane when it came out, so yeah…)
dustydeste — you reported a site run by MEN as spam?! Must be run by hapless betas you hypergamous…hypergamous…HYPERGAMOUS CAT!!
Where did the last 10 years go? Pffffft! Just seconds ago, this really cool band came out with a really cool album called The Joshua Tree. I hear it’s awesome.
Argenti: All part of our eeeeeevil feminazi plan to get all duly-righteous MRAs and their ilk removed from StumbleUpon, one of the last bastions of freedom in this beautifully enslaved-by-women world.
This JUST happened, Manboobz. I was having sex with this black feminist, capitalist, Christian, communist, Mormon female (who was also a member of the ACLU) and then I came in a condom. She then pulled off my condom and started putting my cum inside her and said “Now, I’m going to get child support checks from you so that I can buy myself a mansion full of shoes and scented candles!” I could not let this happen to me, so I immediately picked her up threw her in the air, and did the Tatsumaki Senpukyaku attack from Street Fighter to hit her stomach. She flew threw the window and right in front of my neighbors. I then shouted at her “Will your child support checks pay for this!?” She ended up with 50 broken ribs, a broken spine, and three broken legs. She also turned 30 years old so she was no longer attractive at all. She then got up and shouted “You can’t hit a woman!” So then I replied “I thought you said you wanted equality!” She was completely shocked. She had never heard that amazing logic before and walked away. My neighbors were all amazed. They immediately joined the Mens’ Rights Movement and we all celebrated by watching Daniel Tosh make his best rape jokes.
@LBT
Sorry for not answering sooner, had to leave for my job (I work evenings). I played marimba/glockenspiel/xylophone/vibraphone, and despite my massive anxiety issues at the time, nobody disrespected my pit and got away with it.
We also got to do the Nightmare Before Christmas field show! Our band was really good that year and won a lot in our category. Good times, good times.
Truth be told, we did get a new marimba one year… After the old marimba jumped off the band director’s truck on the way back from the practice field (a.k.a. the baseball outfield, sometimes while the baseball team was practicing). That was epic.
RE: Amnesia
Aw, no fair, you got to practice on GRASS? We had to march on fucking ASPHALT, at four-thirty in the afternoon in Texas AUGUST. *shakes fist*
Oh man, did you play Oogie Boogie’s song that year? I swear, best song for pit bragging EVER.
RE: Argenti
Heh, yeah. Same here, come to think of it.
Seconding @pineapplecookies. This comment thread should go in the Comment Thread Hall of Fame. It’s really great. The image of Sk8er Boi grinning as he falls unconscious . . .
I have to confess, I’m going to fall asleep grinning tonight.
“She had never heard that amazing logic before and walked away.”
lolololol
My neighbors were all amazed. They immediately joined the Mens’ Rights Movement and we all celebrated by watching Daniel Tosh make his best rape jokes.”
Really, and this was before they even read any Warren Farrell? Who knew there were other ways to be magically converted to the MRM.
can’t top these stories, jeez. I feel so inadequate.
This pissed me off.
Raped? Go to jail. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-23381448
The fuck is that fucking…
A confession, or four male witnesses…so rape never happens in Dubai? Legally speaking that is.
Yes, under Sharia (or Sharia-like systems) a woman needs four witnesses in the city. (Men of course.) In the country, it is a bit more lax because people might not hear her yelling out in the country. It comes direct from the Quron.
I think MRA’s would like this law in the US.
Ugh. Nope, nope, nope, octopusing right away from that. Can not deal with that right now, nope nope nope.
Funny, when I spermjack a dude, I don’t bother getting myself pregnant. I take the used condom and invite my witch girlfriends to come over and perform a magical ritual that will bring forth the downfall of man. Such a ritual requires the sperm from an Alpha — though beta sperm will do in a pinch. One has to perform 13 rituals for total male opression to become a reality. I’m only up to 9 — but I’ve got my finger crossed!
In fact, I just performed ritual #9 an hour ago. I got the sperm from a dude I bedded this morning (don’t worry, I was on top and made him wear a silly Bugs Bunny mask). After the sperm doner left, complaining about me rushing him out the door the whole time, my cat familar (did I mention she could talk?) said, “Wow, that Alpha had amazing pecs!”
I couldn’t help but crack a smile.
I had bedded a gorgeous male alpha, and he had no idea that he had played a part in what would soon be total female domination. Of course, we’ll keep the pretty Alpha men caged (naturally with gym equipment, so they can stay in shape), so we can have sex with them when we choose to. Most of the betas will be forced into the mouth of an active volcano — though we’ll keep a few around for IT problems, or if we need someone to do our taxes.
Hey, can I ask y’all something? If this isn’t appropriate here (and it may not be), please just ignore me/tell me and I won’t mind. Trigger warning: it involves transphobia…
So, I regularly go out with a group of relatively conservative friends (at least when it comes to gender and sexuality; they usually mean well, but have extremely limited experience). We hang out at a bar once or twice a week.
There’s a woman who has been flirting with a couple of guys in our group. Not exclusively, she seems to just like hanging out there too, but she seems to like two of the single guys in our group.
The problem is that some of the women in our group have decided she must be trans*. I have no idea either way, and don’t care. There is some reason for it, as she does have some conventionally masculine markers, but she clearly presents as a woman regardless of her external sex. She’s not the problem.
The actual problem is the women in my social group. They keep trying to speculate on her history, whether she was assigned male or female at birth. I’m not really sure what to do. So far, I’ve just shut down the conversation by saying things like, “She looks like a woman to me,” or, if pressed, bringing up Jamie Lee Curtis (since she’s a “masculine” cis woman who has had various trans* rumors circulated about her), and changing the subject.
We’re always drinking when this comes up, and we’re a fairly mixed group. Is just shutting down the conversation and accepting the woman in question as the gender she presents enough? Or should I actually be talking about it more? My friends are saying things like, “Whatever she wants to do, more power to her, but if she is transgender then the guys she’s hitting on deserve a warning.” I recognize the problems with that (and realize it could be much worse), but I’m having trouble articulating why it is none of our business. And for what it’s worth, neither of the men being hit on seem to notice (or if they do, they don’t care).
I just don’t know what to do, and would appreciate any advice.
“Whatever she wants to do, more power to her, but if she is transgender then the guys she’s hitting on deserve a warning.”
Feel free to disregard this advice, but I have found that being a broken record is helpful in situations where someone is being… a little nosey about someone else’s business.
Just keep saying, “They’re big boys and they can handle themselves. It’s none of our business.”
RE: AK
I’s pretty easy to say why it’s none of their business: the woman isn’t hitting on THEM. The men can handle themselves. Also, speculating in general is just bad taste–how would THEY like it if their gender was being called into question? How would THEY like it if their genitals were being the object of strangers’ conversation?
(Because let’s face it, THAT’S what they’re talking about. They don’t care so much that the woman is trans, they care that ZOMG GENITALS MIGHT BE DIFFERENT. Which is not okay.)
It’s really skeezy and creepy to act like a stranger’s genitals are their business. Were I in your shoes (or the woman’s shoes, for that matter), I’d probably be quite angry and humiliated. Trans women get policed for this ALL THE GODDAMN TIME, and it’s douchey as hell. The men can handle their own damn selves.
I’m loving these stories and comments. But now it’s time for bed.
*sits up* argh, hmm…
Well, for starters, it isn’t their fucking business. I tend to find that, in general, a well placed “and you care because…?” at least results in a dose of STFU. Argh, I have many feels. One of which being the desire to join LBT as a noptopus and nope nope nope away. The rest…let’s just say I’m not feeling the love for your friends.
Ok, for one, this whole “they deserve warning” thing…do these folks know how dangerous it can be for trans* women to come out without careful thought? Like, I doubt you’d be friends with dude’s who’d go all “she’s a trap! Beat down time!”…but yeah, it happens. And it sounds like they need a serious lesson in trans* 101. I can probably dig up a good explaination why trans* women do not need to out themselves just to flirt casually, but…I don’t want to reinforce their assumption.
Yeah, I’m afraid any attempts at teaching trans* 101 will be taken as “proof” that they’re right. Stick with a hard line “it isn’t your business and I refuse to engage in this gossip”. You can add a clause about “and how would you feel if people were talking about you like this?” depending how rude they’re getting and how empathetic they are.
In short…”so? If the guys care, they can ask, what business is it of yours?” (dear gods fix e grammar though!)
…which is not your question. Ok…
In that case…figure out how to explain what dangerous transphobia results in, and how they’re skirting the edges of risking her safety. That right or not, the wrong drunk guy overhears this, there’s the risk he’ll decide to forcibly find out. Yeah sure it might be a tiny risk, but maybe pointing out that “they deserve to know what’s in her pants” isn’t that far away from “even if they have to find out by force”?
Like, I just finished that awful Popehat thread, and Pollock’s big thing was how it’s only sexual assault if she’s actively asking for help. Like, a women being groped in a hall is assumed to be consenting, because asking if everything’s okay here is removing her agency. And pecunium spent far too long trying to explain how that sort of logic provides cover for people to assault. Where am I going with this? “They have a right to know” sorta provides cover for “well, yeah, sticking a hand up her skirt was wrong, but they did have a right to know”.
Idk, I’m just thinking that if you managed to make them connect the idea that trans* women have to out themselves immediately with the idea that said women are “traps”…and how fucking common it is for trans* women to be assaulted… I doubt they have any clue what having your gender questioned is like (ironically, neither do I, or rather, I enjoy that confusion, it means I’m successfully navigating the “gap” between gender roles…anyways)…I suspect that since they’re women, they do have experience with questioning if some drunk dude is going to get the wrong idea and get gropey.
Am I making any sense?
LBT — yeah I was thinking that, but I suspect they’d just be all “so what if someone questions my gender?” cuz they don’t experience it. It’d be like asking a dude how he’d feel if some woman groped him, no matter how detailed you make it, you just aren’t going to get that fear of what’s next across because they have no baseline experience to compare it to.
Ergo my rambling mess trying to use sexual assault as a common denominator.
Curse you, LBT. Now I had to go investigate the Cockrub Warriors too, and the very first page I found has what appear to be a couple of the guys from 300 gene-spliced with Adam Ant, wearing boots they stole from old-school Gene Simmons. WTF am I looking at?
http://man2manalliance.org/crw/crwfounder1.html
LBT, have you seen this? (Everything that follows NSFW)
http://man2manalliance.org/crw/mars.html
The whole thing is lulzy but this may be my favorite part.
The MRA thought process that one little factiod will change a ladies thinking is funny. Reminds me of Jason on the other thread telling us if we had read Warren Farrell we wouldn’t be feminists.