Fidelbogening while the world burns

*___* I can imagine!!! Love it ^_^

Re: comment upthread about MRAs seeming to be in a double bind related to “masculinity” — duh. Strict gender roles put everyone in a double bind, which is what feminists have been trying to point out for years.

Scented FUCKING candles! Awesome.

saintnick – it’s okay, “Dan Cardamon” is a parody character, he’s sending up MRAs and their shit (note the mention of Scented Fucking Candles – he reads this blog). He’s the guy who does Some Grey Bloke.

Ninja’d by Xanthe. But it’s awesome anyway.

Hint for players who have less than ideal vision/ didn’t go fullscreen. Check the note on the whiteboard in the background.

THIS IS SO FUNNY! I went and read the entire review Forney gave to “the red pill”, and here it is:

1.0 out of 5 stars Flat, hackneyed and excruciating July 16, 2013
By Matthew Forney
Amazon Verified Purchase
It hurts me somewhat to say this, because I know Patton somewhat and am on the same page as him ideologically, but this is one of the worst books I’ve ever read. He intended it as an introduction to the “red pill” and the “manosphere,” a corner of the Internet focused on helping men reclaim their masculinity and lead fulfilling lives, but it’s so poorly written that it almost makes me want to become a feminist.

Problem one with the Red Pill is that the writing is sloppy and bland. Here’s the very first paragraph from the first chapter:

“He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep, and he couldn’t go more than thirty seconds without thinking about Natalie and how much he loved her. She meant everything. She was the sun, the moon, the stars, and the air he breathed. But Natalie didn’t love him anymore and Andrew just wanted to roll over and die. He didn’t realize until she dumped him how much his world revolved around her and now that she was gone his suffering seemed immeasurable.”

Because THAT’S what life is like when you haven’t taken the red pill yet! You’re entire life completely revolves around an EVIL woman! And of course everyone thinks of love in terms of the loved one being all kinds of celestial entities.

The entire novel reads like this: neverending run-on sentences, repetitive, brain-dead cliches and a fourth-grade vocabulary.

Second problem with this book is that the characterization is terrible. The characters in this book aren’t one-dimensional, they’re no-dimensional. There’s not a single bit of nuance or meaningful development among them. The good guys, like Andrew and his magical alpha mentor Adam, are saintly and heroic; the villains, such as Andrew’s roommate Joe and his sister Tracy, are stupid, snotty, lazy and entitled.

Our story begins with our intrepid hero reeling from a bad breakup. Having discovered his girlfriend Natalie sleeping with every man within a five mile radius, Andrew decides to kill himself out of grief.

Because ALPHA COCK CAROUSEL she couldn’t just cheat with one guy! And without the red pill, it’s impossible not to think of moustache-twirling (well, if they had a moustache) villain bitches as celestial bodies and go kill oneself over them.

And despite having only known him for a few pages, I was praying for him to go through with it. The characterization is so flat and Manichean it’s unbelievable; even after Natalie and her father steal half his things when they get her stuff from their apartment (which comes after he threatens to kill Andrew if he goes near her again),

It must be FEMINISM which has taught fathers to be overprotective of their evil scheming moustache-twirling villain daughters and STEAL THEIR EXES’ STUFF!

he still begs her to come back to him. PROTIP to aspiring novelists: if I’m rooting for your protagonist to huff some carbon monoxide before the first chapter is over, you have failed as a storyteller.

Yeah, that IS good advice.

But alas, God and gravity intervene to keep Andrew from hanging himself, and he moves into a new apartment with his best buddy Joe. By sheer random chance, his new next-door neighbor is Emily, an old crush of his from high school, and he predictably tries to Compliment & Cuddle his way into her vagina. It works as well as you’d expect, but Andrew manages to parlay his friendzone status into a date at a bar on State Street, where they meet Adam, the guy who changes Andrew’s life forever.

Adam is the lead singer in a Doors tribute band, which drives Emily wild.

Because what could possibly be more KEWL than being a LEAD SINGER IN A DOORS TRIBUTE BAND!? Nothing, is the answer to that rethorical question, nothing.

A few days later, after they start hooking up, Andrew runs into Adam outside and inexplicably starts monologuing to him about his 99 problems. Adam decides that this is a perfect opportunity to monologue back at him.

Like, seriously, I almost want to read this.

After this stilted heart-to-heart, Adam decides to take Andrew under his wing and teach him the ways of the red pill.

Thanks to the book’s godawful dialogue and characterization, Adam comes off more like a male Manic Pixie Dream Girl than the zero-turned-hero cool guy that he’s supposed to be, and a number of violently homoerotic passages don’t help. From here, The Red Pill devolves into montage territory, with Andrew slowly getting cut, starting his own small business, and learning how to behave with a sack around girls. And naturally, Andrew’s fat feminist sister, once the pride of the family, is forced to move out and get a real job.

Obviously the family took pride in an adult still living with mum and dad and being unemployed because she was a FEMINIST, and that’s the ONLY thing anyone cares about in this feminazi world. Also, she was fat, because obviously.

But the real scorn is reserved for Joe. Jealous of Andrew’s success, angry at his fat Asian girlfriend (there’s a segment where he flips out and punches her),

Yes, punch those WOC!

and unwilling to make the effort to improve his life, Joe succumbs to omega rage

“Omega rage”? That’s an established term?

and decides to murder him, Adam and Emily in the final chapter.

So… if you’re low enough on this status ladder of theirs, it causes murder sprees?

I won’t belabor the point, but this plot twist is as cheap, fake and manipulative as it sounds.

Okay, so Fornay doubt being omega causes murder sprees, it seems. But they still have the term “omega rage”.

Another tip for aspiring novelists: pouring blood and dismembered body parts all over your draft does NOT make it good.

At best, the Red Pill comes off as a pitiful nerd’s revenge fantasy, with all the storytelling quality of a high schooler’s fan fiction. If this is the Red Pill, I wish I had taken the blue pill.

You can! It’s not too late! There’s an entire subreddit for Bluepillers!

An MRA knowing bad writing is a thing is pretty damn surprising itself.

That Dan Cardamon video @ 1:49: jesus

It is pretty hard to tell that the Dan Cardamon video is parody if you don’t know so beforehand. And that’s real . . . frightening.

I am baffled by what this guy seems to think love is like… it reads completely pathetic and infatuated, like a junior high student’s conception of love when all they’ve had is a crush… so… weird…

Also yeah, I wish there was an easier way to pay artists for doing good stuff and adding to the beauty in the world.

So. About The Red Pill.

I can’t help noticing that it’s free to borrow for Amazon Prime members.

I happen to be an Amazon Prime member.

Anyone else thinking what I’m thinking?

Humph.

Well, I’ve got it, but Kindle books are a pain in the ass. Even copying short excerpts for review purposes is basically impossible. Should I spring for the $2.99 copy? I’ve got Amazon credit.

http://goo.gl/BlAAQ