Ladies! Here, fresh from the MensRants subreddit is A Man With Whom You Do Not Want To Be Friends. Or acquaintances. Or anything, really. To be honest, you probably don’t even want this guy to spot you at a distance from the window of a speeding train. Much T.M.I. in this quote:
Dude, I would seriously suggest you start masturbating. A lot. Preferably not in public.
And try not to bother any actual women for a while, at least until you can start conceptualizing of them as something more than objects (like candy or books) that have been set out for you to use as you please.
Also, your “mad and furious master?” “Mad and furious master?” Did you really just write that? I think you mean your boner. If you want to get fancy, your libido. What are you, Heartiste? Can none of you idiots write about sex without getting all purple prosey on us?
I’m confused here. Why should a man be somewhat offended by such postings? Sure it borders on the line of overkill, but at least the guy is putting it out there.
I’m willing to bet that there are plenty of women out there who don’t give him the rage-boner. I’m also willing to bet that they are invisible to him.
Gotta appreciate his honesty at least after one’s encountered a Nice Guy(tm) or two. I think it’s true, I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like this.
Now that I really was able to see the screen shot, I get the sentiments lol 😆
Wow. Just, wow.
This man’s comments remind me of so many on Zoe Margolis’ blog ‘Girl With A One Track Mind’. Of course, being a woman, she’s allowed to be brutally honest about her sexuality. She’s allowed to say that she wishes men would cross their legs on tube trains because she finds the sight of their groins to much for her libido to bear. This guy on the other hand is just a dangerous creep. No double standard at all.
I.am actually very happy to see him take ownership of his issues, assuming he is not vastly exaggerating. One would hope that with the distress this apparently causes him, friends and family could get him into CBT.
However, this could all be a line of bull to excuse poor behavior. Then, he may want to look into another sort of CBT.
Still, manosphere is the last place he needs to be.
As an aside, I see that western (and other) cultures tend to remove agency from feminine sexualities and grant an often malevolent super agency to masculine sexualities. I worry that we might shame these sorts of admissions out of the public eye to our detriment. Assuming this guy is honest, it sounds like he hasn’t acted on these fantasies and should seek help. I know cis men have plenty of spaces to talk about their desires, so this may just be some internalized privilege. I jsut hope we can do a good job of helping men deal with sexual desires in an appropriate manner for the context without shaming them as this may stop the next person from being honest.
Eewwwwwwww. Jesus, dude. “What is the point of interacting with women if I can’t do sex things at them? It would be like trying to be friends with a vending machine!”
I think a few hours on the stairmaster, or a 5K at top speed might help burn off some of this energy, but wow…the “women as other”-ness is pretty shocking.
The way he says he eventually wants to do “pornographically violent” (grammar, dude!) things to any and all women really bothers me. He’s basically saying that even if he’s not that sexually attracted to you, he can still think of a few things he’d like to do to you… Really mean and degrading things, no doubt.
Can MRAs just stop making male sexuality seem like the most frightening thing ever? Or stop complaining about how male sexuality is “demonized?” Christ, these guys are their own worst enemy. They’re lucky everyone on the outside looking in knows it’s all bullshit.
“This is the result of not seeing women as people, MRAs. How do you not get this?”
Is it? Seems more like a hyper version of sexual desire. Presumably he’s describing his feelings re the women he finds sexually attractive & not women per se.
I think you’d need to ask him rather than base your judgment of him on a few paragraphs on a website.
That would be silly though wouldn’t it? Let’s just judge this individual by these few snippets of info & while we’re at it, judge lots of other men we know nothing about at the same time. Yes, that’s fair.
Oddly, spending a week or so in a clothing-optional campground pretty much ended my tendency to fantasize about the people around me. There’s something about stuff being hidden that makes it more fetish-y. And actual naked people are a lot different than naked people in porn.
Didn’t Plato through Socrates in the Republic recommend men and women doing co-ed naked gymnastics together as a way of diffusing sexual tension? Perhaps we should replace physical education classes in high school with that.
@opium4themasses
That’s all very true, I totally agree. It’s good he sought out some kind of advice, but it’s a shame that he went for advice where he did. Maybe he’ll bring it up amongst a different sort of person and get a different response.
Opium, dude, do you really think that someone who admits that they want to do “pornographically violent” things to every woman they meet doesn’t deserve a bit of social shaming? As Viscaria says, he’s basically asking why he would want to be friends with a vending machine. That’s a horrible, misogynistic attitude, and I see no problem with the men who have those attitudes learning that they’re not socially acceptable as a result of the disgusted responses from people when they admit to having those attitudes.
I have a feeling that he’s like other MRAs who make it clear through the aggregate of their comments that they are only talking about conventionally attractive women when they talk about things that “all women do.” Women who are older, not conventionally attractive, etc. are simply invisible to them. They do not exist.
But yeah, his “pornographically violent” comment is the one that really squicked me out the most.
So what happens if he’s not sure of your gender?
@ katz
In that case he probably beats you up.
*showers in bleach and battery acid*
Here’s a little brain bleach.
http://chrisbrecheen.blogspot.ca/2013/07/changing-creepy-guy-narrative.html
@CassandraSays
I think opium has a point. I think too people going “EW WTF” to guys like him will give them a victim complex. If people gently said “dude… no… not everyone is like that” that may be more effective. Totally not saying his attitude isn’t disgusting, just that actual help is probably what this guy needs. He AT LEAST wondered if this thinking was normal to begin with… too bad he went to the worst place ever for advice. Now, more then ever, he needs a kinder approach, since anyone being to harsh with him will be the “evil-man shaming feminist brainwashed mangina whowantstocastratesixmillionmen.”
But it doesn’t count here. Making fun of MRAs is our job. Though in a real help seeking enviornment, it’s different
So people in a help-seeking environment, however we’re defining that, are obliged to be sympathetic even in the face of confessions that are genuinely appalling? Nope, sorry, don’t buy it.
Not to mention the fact that if the guy in a case like this one gets a bunch of “hey, me too, it’s totally normal dude!” messages from other Redditors, and we’ve decided that shaming him is not acceptable, then the message he’s going to take away is that there’s nothing wrong with his shitty attitude towards women and sex.
Also, do you guys not see that you’re making a tone argument? One that’s made about feminists and how we need not to be too “strident” all the time?
Thoroughly off topic as I tend to be, but still in the MRA arena (as I am too much lately; why are their Bizarro notions so…entertainingly awful?): WTF is with the awful illustrations on AVfM? Even their aesthetics are just terrible. They look like photos a bad + MS Paint job. Unflattering author portraits, amateur-hour art.
Oh and they’ve basically taken up Don’t Be That ____ as their theme.
If you feel comfortable dismissing someone based on “tone”, which is code for “ladies have a right to be angry BUT”, then what is to stop you dismissing someone’s argument based on she had too much/too little eyeliner on? I thought you read Pratchett.
@ Shaun
You’ve lost me. What I’m saying is that people have no obligation to react to the statements that guy in the OP is making in a sympathetic, trying-to-help way. If any given individual wants to then they can, but why should people (especially the people who he’s talking about wanting to do violent things to) feel obligated to?
Not sure what any of this has to do with eyeliner, or Pratchett.
If you want to avoid typhonblue’s terrible illustrations while perusing AVfM, might I suggest visiting the meowbified version of their site?
And I don’t have a problem with anyone having a different, gentler personal reaction to the “mad and furious master” dude, just don’t ask anyone else not to tell him he’s a terrible person, when there is ample evidence he is a terrible person.