Oh, Heartiste, sometimes I can’t help but wonder if you’ve been trolling us all along. I mean, what kind of master pickup guru is this squicked out by vaginas?
Eating a girl out anytime during the first few weeks of dating is beta. When you eat a girl out, you telegraph your incredible horniness for her. Men normally do not want to go down on women and bury their mouths in that fetid, humid mess unless they find her so overwhelmingly hot that they can’t help themselves.
“Fetid, humid mess?” Seriously, dude, if you hate vaginas so much, why do you devote your entire life to trying to gain access to as many of them as possible?
Women instinctively know this, so they correctly gauge that a man who goes down on them on the first date must feel he’s with one of the best he’s ever had. This, in turn, will sour a woman’s attraction for a man, since no woman in the history of the universe has ever felt raging lust for a man she believed lower than herself in value.
And you know this how? Somehow I doubt that Heartiste and his followers are getting a lot of return engagements from their unfortunate dates.
Cunnilingus later in the relationship is absolved from this rule, because you have already demonstrated your manly ability to use her strictly for the piledriving hole she is.
But isn’t her, er, piledriving hole just as icky as ever? Wouldn’t this still be a beta thing? Does any of this make any kind of sense, even if you buy into Heartiste’s Alpha-Beta claptrap?
If I didn’t already know that Heartiste was a dude in his 40s, I would have assumed he was actually a 15-year-old naif with a chip on his shoulder and a vivid imagination.
Thanks to Wrecksomething on r/againstmensrights for pointing out this Heartiste classic.
But seriously: some people like giving head (sometimes), some more than others ! Some people like getting head (sometimes), some more than others ! Communicate with your partner about this, for God’s sake. Don’t write angry blog posts about people who have different preferences to you being awful betas who don’t hate women enough.
“@DarthConans, I dunno about “self-hating”, but isn’t it amazing how much of PUA culture is about bonding with other men and talking about sex with other men, with the actual having of sex with women being sort of an icky intermediate step?”
THIS. Seriously Folks like Heartiste make alphas less and less appealing. Because obviously this whole alpha obsession is NOTHING like the white-washed view of it painted in romance novels. So screw that noise. Seriously I find beta males WAY WAY WAY more sexually appealing. Also… I hate how they go on like beta is a “bad thing”. In a hierarchy the beta is the SECOND IN COMMAND so it’s still pretty freaking high up there. Good lord.
Also, sorry, I know this has been explained a hundred times here probably, but how do I do quotes properly in the box. What tag?
@Bad Puppy
You’ll want (blockquote) on the line before the quote, and (/blockquote) on the line after, but with pointy triangular brackets instead of rounded ones/
Lowquacks — the pointy brackets can be displayed (instead of WP reading as code) by using > for > and < for < (and how I did THAT is all inception like)
Bad Puppy — that means you want:
<blockquote>
</blockquote>
@gelar
The technical term for that in psychology is “introjection”… it’s one of their favorite tricks second only to projection…
Screw the blockquote monster. I just use italics, because it seems to work okay and be much less likely for me to screw up.
And yeah, can we NOT make the ‘closeted gay man’ jokes? I don’t want douches like that on MY side of the fence, thank you very much. Even when I was closeted, I managed to keep from spewing vitriol all over the place.
Also, lolz regarding sunshine mary being a dumbass about subby men. My husband, I’m sure, will be shocked to hear. (He dated a domme once.) And he doesn’t seem to mind me so much…
I admit, for years I could neither give nor receive oral sex (thanks, Rapey McRaperson!) and when I did finally reach the point of being able to give, I definitely preferred to be in charge during it so I wouldn’t freak out. Anyone who thinks that ANY sexual act is inherently dommey/subby makes me want to point and laugh.
This one is especially hilarious! What a way to explain why no women want repeat dates with you, Heartiste. “It’s not because they rightly figure out that I’m a complete and utter asshole, it’s because I went down on them too soon!”
Yeah, I’d like to second LBT on the “let’s cut it out with the closeted gay man jokes” thing. Really, people, the sexual orientation of any given PUA – or any other person – is irrelevant to the way zie treats women/others. It is not a factor, and the whole LOL THEY’RE GAY thing is not funny. Their ability to interact in a humane, reasonable, responsible, and appropriate way has nothing whatsoever to do with what their genitals like and everything to do with whether they’re a huge assholish douche-pontoon or not.
Let’s keep that in mind.
RE: dustydeste
Thank you! It actually kinda annoys me that people joke about, “Oh, liking anal sex makes you gay,” or “oh, they like squirting, that means they must be gay.” Until otherwise stated, they’re just plain old misogynists, and I’d really rather keep them away from me. I’ve already got the g0ys covering the misogyny front.
Heheeheh.
heheh.
heh.
…. Heh.
Ahem.
—-
What, you mean it’s not standard operating procedure to treat sexual gratification as a biscuit? You’re all lying to me. I’m a average student of average means, and all this hackneyed talk about reciprocation is absolutely silly. And hogwash.
Of course going down on someone is showcasing your lesser value! You’re below them. You measure all social worth based on current height. That’s why everyone’s so obsessed with tall people. The person who can see a sea of bald heads shall be crowned king.
Besides, this obviously works. But Heartiste isn’t really alpha enough to understand it. I, for instance, don’t go down on someone until the 69th date, because I feel it adds a certain spectre of charm. Other good tips are: Don’t learn their names until the 17th date, you only get one hug per two weeks, you’re allowed as many kisses as the square root of the amount of peas available on your plate at 12:14 in the night, we will be having peas at at 12:12 in the night and other such rules.
Personally, I’ve found it works wonderfully. I once watched a movie called Hero, and it game this brilliant idea that all true Alpha Dogs should really copy. You see, in that movie, the hero (get it?) needs to get close to someone to assassinate them, just like us PuA alphas need to get close to someone to stab them brutally and without any kind of metaphorical link to an assassin. It’s not metaphorical because asking for permission is for betas. Obviously.
Anyway, on topic, I’ve now learned the greatest alpha move ever. Don’t approach. I simply stay 3000 metres away from any woman I’m interested in and talk at them. Then, once they’ve been won over by my mind bullets of wisdom from 300 metres away, I move to 200 metres. And so it goes, so it goes.
Now, where do I submit this brilliant idea? Return of Kings? Right, on it.
—
I should note above really isn’t serious.
RE: Fibinachi
*prostrates self* We are not worthy! WE ARE NOT WORTHY!
@LBT
What do you mean by this? My first thought was to parse it as “goys”, i.e. goyim or non-Jews, but that doesn’t make a heap of sense in context to me.
So…committing cunnilingus makes you a wimp now? Odd, I thought not doing so made you a wuss.
I don’t want to make the whole “self-hating, closeted gay man” joke either – but it’s hard to resist here. The guy is known for trying to sleep with as many women as possible, yet is also disgusted by an aspect of female anatomy he wants to put his penis into constantly. It’s rather telling…
This whole “fetid humid mess” thing reminds me of when noted wingnut blogger Ace of Spades once referred to vaginas as “like something H.R. Giger dreamed up working in Play-Doh and bacon”.
To which most of the political blogging world said “…whuh?” I believe it still dogs him to this day.
Myself, I am with Wetherby on this.
I don’t think Roissy is closeted, I think his fear of women conflicts with his desire, and the result is the misogynist spew he puts forth.
Has anyone suggested adding wordpress formatting how-to knowledge to the end of the welcome package?
RE: lowquacks
Oh, you poor soul. You have yet to encounter the brain-fucking WONDER that is the g0ys.
You see, they’re men who like to bang men, but they’re SO NOT GAY, because gay means effeminacy, and loose gender roles, and worst of all: BUTTSEX! Yea verily, the buttsex which has destroyed nations and empires! (Pederasty, on the other hand, was A-OK.)
So they call themselves g0ys, okay, because the A in gay stands for ANAL and they are SO NOT INTO THAT because all buttsex is DISRESPECTFUL and RAPEY and DANGEROUS, so they put a zero instead, so now they’re g0ys. (No, really. That’s their explanation.)
They also write ASTOUNDINGLY bad porn. I used to have a damn bingo card for it.
RE: saintnick86
Seriously, dude, knock it off. I’m a gay man, and I had a problem with dick for years. The idea that gay men can’t deal with anything else is horseshit.
“I don’t want to make the whole “self-hating, closeted gay man” joke either – but it’s hard to resist here.”
So please don’t make one. Not that hard.
I hate to live up to socialist stereotypes and throw this word around, but does anyone else get a proto-fascist vibe from that g0ys site?
thekidwiththereplacablehead — I have one saved, I’ll drop it in the comments on the welcome package.
RE: lowquacks
I’m not politically astute enough to really understand what proto-fascist means, but I think they’re pedo-apologists who can’t get over the fact that men sometimes wear skirts and make-up and do naughty things with their hindparts and enjoy it. Every time I have sex that would infuriate them, I throw a silent toast in their honor.
The stuff about women’s bodies being all gross and yucky I think is a way to simultaneously make women seem inferior and rationalize to themselves that they’re not missing anything by not having sex with women (which a lot of them likely aren’t). There’s a “you can’t fire me, I quit!” aspect to it.
In Roissy’s case also, I think he says outlandish shit in part because he knows it will piss people off and get attention (basically the same playbook as Limbaugh, Coulter, etc.), and plays into the “feminists and women’s groups don’t want me sharing this secret alfalfa male knowledge with men because they know it’s the TRUTH!” meme that they love repeating.
saintnick86 – For fuck’s sake, do you not realize that not liking vag doesn’t make a dude gay? People of all orientations are allowed to dislike whatever genitals the don’t like. Genitals are not the end-all be-all of orientation. Also you are being an ass to gay people. Cut that shit out.
The PUA thing about how all women only like sex if the man is dominating them annoys the heck out of me. I’m not at all attracted to dominant men at all, and sometimes it makes me worried that if I were to have sex with someone, they’d think it was okay to force that on me because supposedly I don’t know what I want if I say I want anything other than male dominance. I’m glad to hear most men don’t actually think that way.
BTW Roosh had a good one lately, now that he’s posting on his blog again – apparently if you have ever said “really” in a sarcastic way, you own flip-flops, have read Fifty Shades of Gray and have dumped a guy for NOT being abusive.