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Don’t Be That Rape Apologist: Arthur Koestler, Judgy Bitch, and why MRAs hate rape awareness campaigns

Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?
Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?

Today I’m going to talk about Janet Bloomfield — AKA JudgyBitch — and her bizarre attack on the original Don’t Be That Guy anti-rape posters in Edmonton. But I’m going to take a bit of a detour first, so bear with me.

I recently picked up a copy of Arthur Koestler’s The Case of the Midwife Toad, a nonfiction account of a scientific feud that provided me with some diverting travel reading and put me in the mood to read more of Koestler’s nonfiction.

But doing some rudimentary Googling I made a rather horrifying discovery about Koestler, whom I’d admired since reading his bracing account of breaking with Communism in the classic The God That Failed anthology: according to a recent biographer, Koestler was a serial rapist and abuser of women.

While some doubt the evidence of rape, even his supporters have had to acknowledge, as one reviewer has written, that Koestler’s “treatment of the many women in his life [was] – even without the ‘rape’ – deeply unpleasant. He was manipulative, demanding, sexually voracious and utterly faithless.”

Koestler himself doesn’t exactly make a persuasive witness for his own defense, having once written to his second wife that “without an element of initial rape there is no delight.”

But in some ways as eye-opening as these revelations has been the response of some of Koestler’s defenders. Case in point: Michael Scammell, the author of a nearly 700-page biography of Koestler. After detailing many instances of Koestler’s mistreatment of women, he writes of the accusations of violent rape:

The exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction wasn’t exactly uncommon at that time … The line between consensual and forced sex was often blurred.

Hey, it was the 1950s. EVERYBODY raped women back then.

The sad fact is that, while this is no defense of Koestler’s alleged behavior, there is an element of truth to Scammell’s claims. The line between consensual sex and rape was often blurred back then. Women were often cajoled, pressured, manipulated, and forced into sex by more physically powerful men. And neither party necessarily recognized what had happened as rape.

The fact that the line between consensual sex and rape is a lot clearer today — and that the rate of rape has declined markedly in the past several decades — is largely due to feminism. Feminism challenged older attitudes and definitions of rape and worked at changing these attitudes through education and awareness campaigns.

Feminist activists worked on teaching — and reteaching — both men and women what is and what isn’t acceptable sexual behavior.

It’s an ongoing process, which continues in awareness campaigns like this one, the Don’t Be That Guy campaign launched in Edmonton (and elsewhere):

posters1edmonton-police-re-launch-poster-campaign-to-deter-sexual-assault_posters

It’s pretty clear that there’s a lot more work to be done, as the reactions to this campaign have pretty clearly shown.

Anyone who has read much in the so-called manosphere — on MRA and PUA sites alike — will have noticed a lot of alarmist nonsense about the alleged difficulties men have in determining if a sex act with a woman is consensual or not, as if it is simply impossible, if there is any confusion, for men to open their mouths and ask. MRAs and PUAs act as if obtaining consent “the way feminists want it” would consist of some complicated legalistic procedure that would ruin sex forever.

This is patent nonsense. Clarifying issues of consent about (and during) sex — making anything that’s blurry clear — can be done in less time than it takes to read this sentence.

“Do you like this?” “Yes.”

“Do you want me to [incredibly dirty thing]?” “Yes.”

But, as I said, the MRAs and PUAs complaining about the alleged difficulties of consent don’t really seem to be interested in making things clear. They would, it seems, rather have things as blurry as possible.

And that’s because a lot of them want to return to a world in which, to paraphrase that quote from Scammell above, the exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction isn’t exactly uncommon, and in which the line between consensual and forced sex is often blurred.

They would prefer to return to a world in which it’s considered fair game to “take advantage” of seriously drunk women. One in which all accusations of date rape could be dismissed as the result of a fickle woman changing her mind later.

And that, I think, is why MRAs have such a problem with date rape awareness campaigns like Edmonton’s Don’t Be That Guy campaign — which they try to both ridicule as unnecessary and denounce as an exercise in Nazi-style anti-male propaganda. Sometimes both at the same time.

Consider, for example, Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch’s recent A Voice for Men post on the Edmonton poster controversies. Bloomfield — who apparently likes to think of herself as one of those no-nonsense women who can get by just fine without any help from feminists, thank you very much — begins by trying to ridicule the original Don’t Be That Guy posters as simple-minded, obvious and utterly unnecessary.

Referring to several specific posters from the original campaign, she writes:

No, obviously, you should not be having sex with a woman so drunk she is passed out face down on the couch with her ass in the air. …

Obviously, helping a drunk woman home does not entitle you to sex.

And in what is going to come as SHOCKING news to everyone, if someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, you should not have sex with them.

I’ll give you a while to process that information, because I’m sure that until this clever campaign came along, you were all busy screwing comatose girls at parties and gleefully hailing cabs so you could help ladies home and then rape them.

That would be very witty and pointed but for the fact that, guess what, men do attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep, and that there are plenty of men who seem to think that this counts as a sort of “no harm, no foul, no rape” situation.

Take a look at the discussion whenever this topic comes up on Reddit, for example. Or consider all those supporters of Julian Assange who pretend that the issue is women changing their mind after sex when in fact one of the things he’s been accused of is penetrating a woman sans condom while she was sleeping.

And as for “taking advantage” of seriously drunk women, well, there are plenty of men who think this is perfectly fine — and some who make this the centerpiece of their “seduction” technique. Indeed, one prominent PUA — Roosh V — has confessed to doing just that with one woman who was clearly too drunk to consent:

While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.

Somehow this confession — boast? —  hasn’t, to my knowledge, earned him any condemnations from manosphere or MRA bloggers, or even, it seems, cost him any fans.

Meanwhile, on the very site Bloomfield is publishing her post, Paul Elam blames drunk women for being sexually assaulted, writing (as I pointed out yesterday) that women who drink with men are, “freaking begging” to be raped,

Damn near demanding it. … walk[ing] though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

After dismissing the Don’t Be That Guy campaign as so much silliness,  Bloomfield makes a sudden 180 degree turn and declares it the virtual equivalent of Nazi propaganda against Jews.

Which would be offensive if it weren’t so manifestly absurd. The Don’t Be That Guy campaign isn’t directed at men, per se. It’s directed at men WHO THINK IT’S OK TO RAPE WOMEN and/or MEN WHO MAKE EXCUSES FOR RAPISTS.

A good number of these men — and some women with similar beliefs — seem to spend much of their time reading and/or writing for manosphere sites like Roosh V’s blog and A Voice for Men.

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SittieKitty
11 years ago

Yeah, I read that in potentially two different ways Argenti, a) he wants to tell rape victims they weren’t raped because they consented or b) he wants to say you can’t withdraw consent. To both I say he’s wrong and it’s bullshit.

gillyrosebee
gillyrosebee
11 years ago

c) all the above.

Zie wants a pass to either get away with rape or to withhold legal remedy for someone who was raped because that person may have said yes at some point in time.

Only rapists and rape apologists are so concerned with developing an ironclad framework for when consent is legally enforceable (and irrevocable).

Brz
Brz
11 years ago

I read “the second sex” like ten years ago, and the ONE THING that really stands out in my memory (also one thing that I have never seen anyone ever bring up regarding that book) is de Beauvoir’s discussion about sex, where she presents getting raped as completely normal. Basically, the first time you do it, you’re raped, and then eventually you can move on to having consensual sex. This is presented as the completely normal order of things. She does write as an aside that in the USA it’s fairly common for girls to have consensual sex the first time with a boy their own age, rather than being raped by an older man. And then she goes on to bash this quirky American custom, because apparently, according to de Beauvoir, if you’ve never been raped, you’re still “a mental virgin”. On reading that passage I was just WTF WTF WTF WTF DID I JUST READ???????

o_O

Accusing S. de Beauvoir of being a rape apologist was the latest episode of the ongoing serie “shit that happens only on Manboobz”

I’ve found some quotes of “the second sex” talking about that and, well, it just sounds like the usual “wah I’m so afraid by these threatening turgescent phalli”, just basic feminist stuff :

These embraces, so much like a hand-to-hand tussle, frighten her, for she has never tussled. She is used to the caresses of a fiancé, a comrade, a colleague, a civilized and polite man; but now he takes on a peculiar aspect, egoistical and headstrong; she is without recourse against this stranger. It is not uncommon for the young girl’s first experience to be a real rape and for the man to act in an odiously brutal manner.

[…]

Furthemore, however deferential and polite the man may be, the first penetration is always a violation. Because she desires caresses on lips or breasts, or even longs for a known or imagined pleasure more specifically sexual, what happens is that a man’s sex organ tears the young girl and penetrates into regions where it has not been desired

Funnily, even if S. de Beauvoir can’t utter a word without being annoyingly hysterical, there’s still more depth and nuances in these quotes than in everything American feminists (except Camille Paglia) have ever wrote or said.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Shut up, Brz. The last thing this thread needs is your fauxFrench troll self.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Today on Brz: Criticizing someone of authority in a subject about something problematic they said about said subject is over-the-top.

In other news: Blah blah blah feminists are [insert favourite gendered insult here] blah blah

::rolls eyes::

Ally S
11 years ago

Awww, look everyone! It’s Brz pretending that he understands what feminists are saying.

Brz
Brz
11 years ago

Me no understand, zombie S. de Beauvoir is not quoted in the feminism 101 page where I learned the slogans I keep shouting on Manboobz lol.

Ally S
11 years ago

“zombie S”

Well, I’ll give you a cookie for giving me the most bizarre nickname that has ever been used for me. o_o

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
11 years ago

Ally, I think Brz was referring to Zombie Simone de Beauvoir.

MRAs: Feminists are a hive-mind until they are catty women.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Maybe you need a different Feminism 101 page brz, here: http://www.shakesville.com/2010/01/feminism-101.html It’s a good one.

katz
11 years ago

Ally, thank you for the Pallas’ cat. They are underappreciated.

Brz
Brz
11 years ago

@Ally S

You’re not a zombie because your heart is white ya ghaliya.

Ally S
11 years ago

@Brz

“Ghaliya?” Are you saying I’m expensive? Ok then. o_o Maybe my Arabic is bad these days, but that’s just weird.

Pam
Pam
11 years ago

OK, if you don’t think the original posters are offensive, then why are the new ones?

Because, in utilizing the original images, font, overall design and slight edit to the catchphrase, the new posters exist simply to parody and make a mockery of the original posters and message, in effect, saying “The REAL story isn’t that she’s not consenting, it’s that she’ll regret it later and/or want revenge.”

Also, I have relatively little experience with women

Ya don’t say!

I don’t believe these figures. I don’t know what the actual figures are…

I………can’t…………breathe………. OMG…….. my stomach hurts!!!

MRA logic at it’s FINEST!! “I don’t believe “x” because I don’t wanna!!”

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
11 years ago

Almost never is there a clear enough definition to tell someone “Quit your bitching, you consented” based on the definition.

Hey, rapist, the reason for this is because people who consent, and continue to consent, aren’t generally bitching later. If the person you rape is bitching about being raped, it’s because you raped them. Rapist.

grumpycatisagirl
11 years ago

I wish those that are going on about how the “Don’t Be That Guy” posters are unhelpful and useless would actually address that there is reported evidence suggesting that the campaign did indeed help reduce sexual assault.

Either that, or they could just stop going on about it.

AK
AK
11 years ago

I wish those that are going on about how the “Don’t Be That Guy” posters are unhelpful and useless would actually address that there is reported evidence suggesting that the campaign did indeed help reduce sexual assault.

Either that, or they could just stop going on about it.

We’d probably just get another version of Petey’s, “I don’t believe those numbers. I have no reason to not believe them, but I don’t.”

Galunadi
Galunadi
11 years ago

I don’t remember if this is the same thread and I’m going to respond to an old comment (sorry folks, please ignore if you want)

@SittieKitty, To explain what I meant when I got all wierded out by SunshineMary’s ideas on clearly the docket (beyond the ‘wow, that’s vile’ part). I know the crap about making people (specifically virgin women) marry their rapist is in the Old Testament. I consider it bad enough that there were people who believed that nonsense then. I really can’t understand folks who believe it now

Galunadi
Galunadi
11 years ago

uh, “clearing,” not “clearly”

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@sittie
“f you give two people rights, and their interests conflict, it’s impossible to deal with an emergency where either might die, ”

I don’t think you understand what late term abortion is. It has always been legal for a doctor to kill an infant to save the mother’s life, although this would rarely happen in a modern hospital.
What these pro death feminists mean by late term abortion is the wanton killing of a foetus at any stage of pregnancy. It’s done by first killing the foetus by various means and then vacuuming it out after it’s dead. Under the law as long as you kill it inside it’s OK but if it’s outside it’s murder which is why that doctor Gosnell got into trouble and was sent to prison. However, it really doesn’t matter medically if you kill it inside or out because it still comes down to killing. The reason that these feminists want it right up to birth is because it is sometimes difficult to determine how far along a female is and whether the foetus is viable so they can cover their ass legally this way. But the question still remains, why aren’t females using birth control or getting an abortion early? What sort of a moron needs 6 months to decide on an abortion?

katz
11 years ago

Marie, you are a disgrace to the name Marie.

Unimaginative
Unimaginative
11 years ago

But the question still remains, why aren’t females using birth control or getting an abortion early?

What, you mean like in Mississippi or North Dakota? Where they’re shutting down all the clinics where can get an abortion at all, never mind that it’s already a fair distance from where you live? And making it illegal to get access to fucking birth control? Fuck off.

What sort of a moron needs 6 months to decide on an abortion?

Yeah, fuck right off.

Ally S
11 years ago

“pro death feminists”

lol whut

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Marie

You show a complete lack of understanding of abortion. I wish I could be surprised. I agree, you should go fuck off.

And can someone get Dave on the squeezebox? Brz being a racist is hardly new, but directing it towards Ally really grates on me today.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Marie, fuck off and while you’re at it, change your nym, we already have a Marie who’s awesome, and you are not her.

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