Today I’m going to talk about Janet Bloomfield — AKA JudgyBitch — and her bizarre attack on the original Don’t Be That Guy anti-rape posters in Edmonton. But I’m going to take a bit of a detour first, so bear with me.
I recently picked up a copy of Arthur Koestler’s The Case of the Midwife Toad, a nonfiction account of a scientific feud that provided me with some diverting travel reading and put me in the mood to read more of Koestler’s nonfiction.
But doing some rudimentary Googling I made a rather horrifying discovery about Koestler, whom I’d admired since reading his bracing account of breaking with Communism in the classic The God That Failed anthology: according to a recent biographer, Koestler was a serial rapist and abuser of women.
While some doubt the evidence of rape, even his supporters have had to acknowledge, as one reviewer has written, that Koestler’s “treatment of the many women in his life [was] – even without the ‘rape’ – deeply unpleasant. He was manipulative, demanding, sexually voracious and utterly faithless.”
Koestler himself doesn’t exactly make a persuasive witness for his own defense, having once written to his second wife that “without an element of initial rape there is no delight.”
But in some ways as eye-opening as these revelations has been the response of some of Koestler’s defenders. Case in point: Michael Scammell, the author of a nearly 700-page biography of Koestler. After detailing many instances of Koestler’s mistreatment of women, he writes of the accusations of violent rape:
The exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction wasn’t exactly uncommon at that time … The line between consensual and forced sex was often blurred.
Hey, it was the 1950s. EVERYBODY raped women back then.
The sad fact is that, while this is no defense of Koestler’s alleged behavior, there is an element of truth to Scammell’s claims. The line between consensual sex and rape was often blurred back then. Women were often cajoled, pressured, manipulated, and forced into sex by more physically powerful men. And neither party necessarily recognized what had happened as rape.
The fact that the line between consensual sex and rape is a lot clearer today — and that the rate of rape has declined markedly in the past several decades — is largely due to feminism. Feminism challenged older attitudes and definitions of rape and worked at changing these attitudes through education and awareness campaigns.
Feminist activists worked on teaching — and reteaching — both men and women what is and what isn’t acceptable sexual behavior.
It’s an ongoing process, which continues in awareness campaigns like this one, the Don’t Be That Guy campaign launched in Edmonton (and elsewhere):
It’s pretty clear that there’s a lot more work to be done, as the reactions to this campaign have pretty clearly shown.
Anyone who has read much in the so-called manosphere — on MRA and PUA sites alike — will have noticed a lot of alarmist nonsense about the alleged difficulties men have in determining if a sex act with a woman is consensual or not, as if it is simply impossible, if there is any confusion, for men to open their mouths and ask. MRAs and PUAs act as if obtaining consent “the way feminists want it” would consist of some complicated legalistic procedure that would ruin sex forever.
This is patent nonsense. Clarifying issues of consent about (and during) sex — making anything that’s blurry clear — can be done in less time than it takes to read this sentence.
“Do you like this?” “Yes.”
“Do you want me to [incredibly dirty thing]?” “Yes.”
But, as I said, the MRAs and PUAs complaining about the alleged difficulties of consent don’t really seem to be interested in making things clear. They would, it seems, rather have things as blurry as possible.
And that’s because a lot of them want to return to a world in which, to paraphrase that quote from Scammell above, the exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction isn’t exactly uncommon, and in which the line between consensual and forced sex is often blurred.
They would prefer to return to a world in which it’s considered fair game to “take advantage” of seriously drunk women. One in which all accusations of date rape could be dismissed as the result of a fickle woman changing her mind later.
And that, I think, is why MRAs have such a problem with date rape awareness campaigns like Edmonton’s Don’t Be That Guy campaign — which they try to both ridicule as unnecessary and denounce as an exercise in Nazi-style anti-male propaganda. Sometimes both at the same time.
Consider, for example, Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch’s recent A Voice for Men post on the Edmonton poster controversies. Bloomfield — who apparently likes to think of herself as one of those no-nonsense women who can get by just fine without any help from feminists, thank you very much — begins by trying to ridicule the original Don’t Be That Guy posters as simple-minded, obvious and utterly unnecessary.
Referring to several specific posters from the original campaign, she writes:
No, obviously, you should not be having sex with a woman so drunk she is passed out face down on the couch with her ass in the air. …
Obviously, helping a drunk woman home does not entitle you to sex.
And in what is going to come as SHOCKING news to everyone, if someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, you should not have sex with them.
I’ll give you a while to process that information, because I’m sure that until this clever campaign came along, you were all busy screwing comatose girls at parties and gleefully hailing cabs so you could help ladies home and then rape them.
That would be very witty and pointed but for the fact that, guess what, men do attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep, and that there are plenty of men who seem to think that this counts as a sort of “no harm, no foul, no rape” situation.
Take a look at the discussion whenever this topic comes up on Reddit, for example. Or consider all those supporters of Julian Assange who pretend that the issue is women changing their mind after sex when in fact one of the things he’s been accused of is penetrating a woman sans condom while she was sleeping.
And as for “taking advantage” of seriously drunk women, well, there are plenty of men who think this is perfectly fine — and some who make this the centerpiece of their “seduction” technique. Indeed, one prominent PUA — Roosh V — has confessed to doing just that with one woman who was clearly too drunk to consent:
While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.
Somehow this confession — boast? — hasn’t, to my knowledge, earned him any condemnations from manosphere or MRA bloggers, or even, it seems, cost him any fans.
Meanwhile, on the very site Bloomfield is publishing her post, Paul Elam blames drunk women for being sexually assaulted, writing (as I pointed out yesterday) that women who drink with men are, “freaking begging” to be raped,
Damn near demanding it. … walk[ing] though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.
After dismissing the Don’t Be That Guy campaign as so much silliness, Bloomfield makes a sudden 180 degree turn and declares it the virtual equivalent of Nazi propaganda against Jews.
Which would be offensive if it weren’t so manifestly absurd. The Don’t Be That Guy campaign isn’t directed at men, per se. It’s directed at men WHO THINK IT’S OK TO RAPE WOMEN and/or MEN WHO MAKE EXCUSES FOR RAPISTS.
A good number of these men — and some women with similar beliefs — seem to spend much of their time reading and/or writing for manosphere sites like Roosh V’s blog and A Voice for Men.
Petey, “robbing women of agency” you keep using those word. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.
I MUCH prefer the figures I plucked from my ass, because they support my delusions. No, no, don’t show me actual data. Only my turd-nuggets are real.
Logic. You do not haz it.
Yes, the great benevolence of white men, spilling largesse (entirely of your own volition) upon the lesser beings out of the generosity of your open, tender hearts. Fuck off.
@Petey
How about you actually do some reading instead of spewing your bullshit critique that’s based on nothing but a sweeping generalization about women?
“Don’t be that guy” implies that only certain men are being targeted i.e. male rapists. Otherwise it would say “You shouldn’t be male” or something similar. I’m sorry, but you can’t twist the words here and make it look like misandry. It’s far from a “logical answer.”
Shaming a rapist for being a rapist and regurgitating a stereotype about rape complainants aren’t comparable in the slightest, so your charge of hypocrisy is empty.
Spoken like someone who has a rudimentary understanding of the history of women’s rights at best. Fuck off.
I missed this in the TL;DR, so thanks Unimaginative!
” I will continue to side with the MRAs not because I am a man, but because I believe in what is right.”
Fortunately I know enough men who know that MRA’s speak for hate and Feminism speaks for the rights of everyone to be able to keep my faith in humanity.
“it was white men who granted women the vote and who created anti-discrimination legislation.”
The fact that these things were *withheld* by white men for centuries seems to have been overlooked.
LOL. “I don’t believe these figures, even though I have no evidence to the contrary. Also, I do not understand people.”
Show me these surveys that show women lie constantly, please. You made the claim; back it up.
Regarding the people those Edmonton posters are targeting, well, as David mentioned, the Edmonton police say they have seen a sharp decline in rape reports since the “Don’t be that guy” poster campaign was implemented. And I don’t even know how you find them to be about shaming men, unless you think all men are rapists.
And LOL at using Wimbledon and partial birth abortions as examples of female supremacy. The sports world is still dominated by men who make far more than women do, including in tennis. One event with equal prize money does not show a trend.
As for partial birth abortion, well, you realize that it is illegal unless it is necessary to save the life of the mother, right? Here, let me help you: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partial-Birth_Abortion_Ban_Act And it was never a common practice, in spite of the histrionics of pro-life groups.
You’re going to have to do better than that if you want to claim that women are privileged over men in our society.
OH OH OH OH OH OH!!!!!!
Hey, Petey, when women were granted the vote and men lost the vote, how did things change? I ask because MRA’s think that if they give everyone rights, they (MRA’s) will lose those rights.
“Petey, seriously, the fact that you think a woman could drink two bottles of vodka and still have sex under her own volition makes me very glad that by your own admission you have very little to do with women.
Here, let me slow this down for your tiny brain: The drinking part might be under her own volition. What you seem to want to do to her when she is unconscious would be rape, as she would not be capable of volition in this scenario.”
The man forces himself on her while she’s unconscsious of course it’s rape. But no, I don’t buy the “if she’s too drunk, she can’t consent” argument. If she finds she has trouble controlling herself while drunk, maybe she shouldn’t drink so much? Plus, after any kind of incident like this, how are you going to prove anything? The women finds out she had sex, but doesn’t remember. Did the man force himself on her while unconscious or did she consent the whole time and now doesn’t remember? Totally the woman’s fault as far as I’m concerned for acting so irresponsibly.
You say that if a woman has sex while drunk then it’s rape? Is it the same if the man is too drunk? This is the litmus test for equality: reverse the sexes and see if there is a double standard. Remember: you are feminists. You are searching for equality, or so you claim.
“The posters show situations where the victim is passed out, or where he or she is physically overpowered. A better analogy might be, what if the salesman threatened to hurt you if you didn’t buy the car? Or what if he found you passed out and forged your signature?”
Indeed. You know nothing of me or my sex life. I don’t believe I am even capable of rape which is why I find the slogan “Every man is a potential rapist” so offensive. So offensive, in fact, that I wrote an article about it disproving it:
http://notationalshorthand.blogspot.ca/2013/06/all-men-are-rapists.html
Part of the reason I now consider myself an MRA is because I am so sick and tired of the negative stereotypes about men that are so constantly thrown around: that men are violent, that men are promiscuous, that men are rapists and on and on… And yet my personal experience is that women are just as violent and just as promiscuous.
“Not raping people is really not difficult or challenging, except for rapists. Any time I meet someone who pretends it is difficult or challenging, I know immediately what camp to put them in. Petey, there’s a good reason you’re afraid of being accused of raping someone, and it has much more to do with you than you are capable of admitting.”
Indeed. You know nothing of me or my sex life. I don’t believe I am even capable of rape which is why I find the slogan “Every man is a potential rapist” so offensive. So offensive, in fact, that I wrote an article about it disproving it:
http://notationalshorthand.blogspot.ca/2013/06/all-men-are-rapists.html
Part of the reason I now consider myself an MRA is because I am so sick and tired of the negative stereotypes about men that are so constantly thrown around: that men are violent, that men are promiscuous, that men are rapists and on and on… And yet my personal experience is that women are just as violent and just as promiscuous.
Petey, you rapist, you TOLD us about your sex life. Scroll up to read your own comment, shithead.
(And yes, a woman who has sex with a man who is too drunk to give consent is a rapist. See, I told you this really isn’t hard for people who aren’t rapists.)
Partial birth abortions are legal in Canada. Murder is also a rare crime. Does that mean we should legalize it?
Petey, no one here is arguing that either murder or false reports of criminal activity should be legal.
Also, you’re a rapist.
“Petey, you rapist, you TOLD us about your sex life.”
Yes, I told you that the women with whom I’ve had experience enjoyed violence in the bedroom. I didn’t say that I enjoyed it. What does this prove other than the fact that it is the women, not the man, who enjoys rape?
“Also, you’re a rapist.” Fuck you.
Petey, you asshat, BDSM requires consent, which is what makes it not rape. If consent is not present, or if it is withdrawn, and the violence continues, that is rape and/or assault.
Again, this is really not difficult for non-rapists to grok. Which is why it is clear that you, Petey, are a rapist.
“If she finds she has trouble controlling herself while drunk, maybe she shouldn’t drink so much?”
WE MUST CONTROL WOMEN BECAUSE THEY CAN’T CONTROL THEMSELVES!
“Is it the same if the man is too drunk? ”
Duh. Yes.
“You know nothing of me or my sex life.”
From the dude who has told us all about his lack of sex life.
Fuck you right back, sweetheart. Now run along, you rapist.
I’ve actually got something good to say!!!!
So consent requires, but is not limited to the proper paperwork filled out in triplicate and notarized followed by a 2 week waiting period when the paper work is again filled out in triplicate and notarized.
This is patent nonsense. Clarifying issues of consent about (and during) sex — making anything that’s blurry clear — can be done in less time than it takes to read this sentence.
“Do you like this?” “Yes.”
“Do you want me to [incredibly dirty thing]?” “Yes.”
This is why cloudiah called you a rapist. Fuck off.
“Part of the reason I now consider myself an MRA is because I am so sick and tired of the negative stereotypes about men that are so constantly thrown around: that men are violent, that men are promiscuous, that men are rapists and on and on…”
And yet you adhere to the cultural notion that women need to be wary of men or they’ll obviously get raped and it will be their fault. I had to separate that.
lol@BDSM is simulated rape.
The whole joke about BDSM is that by the time the rule book is written and negotiations and prelims are finally over, it’s one of the most “controlled” and heavily policed kinds of sexual practices there is.
Also, from what I understand, intercourse is very peripheral to BDSM activities. It can happen in a BD context but most organized kink is far less “genital” than vanilla sex. It’s actually more full-body sensation based, that’s the whole point of it. And orgasm isn’t necessarily the goal.
Anyone confirm or deny?
You didn’t disprove shit you dumbass – only a handful of feminists (and probably even less than that) think that all men are rapists. Before you act like you’re some kind of social justice hero by writing a shitty “critique” of a position that doesn’t actually exist among most feminists, how about you actually read about what the Schroedinger’s Rapist idea actually means?
Oh wait, you won’t, because you’re full of shit. Go away.
Wow I mucked up the block quote
genderneutrallanguage, Learn how to fucking quote. That comment is a mess.
Oh, go fuck yourself GNL. Your rape apologia is showing, especially since the behaviors targeted in those ads are BEHAVIORS FOUND AMONG RAPISTS.
You aren’t egalitarian – I can tell you that much.