Today I’m going to talk about Janet Bloomfield — AKA JudgyBitch — and her bizarre attack on the original Don’t Be That Guy anti-rape posters in Edmonton. But I’m going to take a bit of a detour first, so bear with me.
I recently picked up a copy of Arthur Koestler’s The Case of the Midwife Toad, a nonfiction account of a scientific feud that provided me with some diverting travel reading and put me in the mood to read more of Koestler’s nonfiction.
But doing some rudimentary Googling I made a rather horrifying discovery about Koestler, whom I’d admired since reading his bracing account of breaking with Communism in the classic The God That Failed anthology: according to a recent biographer, Koestler was a serial rapist and abuser of women.
While some doubt the evidence of rape, even his supporters have had to acknowledge, as one reviewer has written, that Koestler’s “treatment of the many women in his life [was] – even without the ‘rape’ – deeply unpleasant. He was manipulative, demanding, sexually voracious and utterly faithless.”
Koestler himself doesn’t exactly make a persuasive witness for his own defense, having once written to his second wife that “without an element of initial rape there is no delight.”
But in some ways as eye-opening as these revelations has been the response of some of Koestler’s defenders. Case in point: Michael Scammell, the author of a nearly 700-page biography of Koestler. After detailing many instances of Koestler’s mistreatment of women, he writes of the accusations of violent rape:
The exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction wasn’t exactly uncommon at that time … The line between consensual and forced sex was often blurred.
Hey, it was the 1950s. EVERYBODY raped women back then.
The sad fact is that, while this is no defense of Koestler’s alleged behavior, there is an element of truth to Scammell’s claims. The line between consensual sex and rape was often blurred back then. Women were often cajoled, pressured, manipulated, and forced into sex by more physically powerful men. And neither party necessarily recognized what had happened as rape.
The fact that the line between consensual sex and rape is a lot clearer today — and that the rate of rape has declined markedly in the past several decades — is largely due to feminism. Feminism challenged older attitudes and definitions of rape and worked at changing these attitudes through education and awareness campaigns.
Feminist activists worked on teaching — and reteaching — both men and women what is and what isn’t acceptable sexual behavior.
It’s an ongoing process, which continues in awareness campaigns like this one, the Don’t Be That Guy campaign launched in Edmonton (and elsewhere):
It’s pretty clear that there’s a lot more work to be done, as the reactions to this campaign have pretty clearly shown.
Anyone who has read much in the so-called manosphere — on MRA and PUA sites alike — will have noticed a lot of alarmist nonsense about the alleged difficulties men have in determining if a sex act with a woman is consensual or not, as if it is simply impossible, if there is any confusion, for men to open their mouths and ask. MRAs and PUAs act as if obtaining consent “the way feminists want it” would consist of some complicated legalistic procedure that would ruin sex forever.
This is patent nonsense. Clarifying issues of consent about (and during) sex — making anything that’s blurry clear — can be done in less time than it takes to read this sentence.
“Do you like this?” “Yes.”
“Do you want me to [incredibly dirty thing]?” “Yes.”
But, as I said, the MRAs and PUAs complaining about the alleged difficulties of consent don’t really seem to be interested in making things clear. They would, it seems, rather have things as blurry as possible.
And that’s because a lot of them want to return to a world in which, to paraphrase that quote from Scammell above, the exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction isn’t exactly uncommon, and in which the line between consensual and forced sex is often blurred.
They would prefer to return to a world in which it’s considered fair game to “take advantage” of seriously drunk women. One in which all accusations of date rape could be dismissed as the result of a fickle woman changing her mind later.
And that, I think, is why MRAs have such a problem with date rape awareness campaigns like Edmonton’s Don’t Be That Guy campaign — which they try to both ridicule as unnecessary and denounce as an exercise in Nazi-style anti-male propaganda. Sometimes both at the same time.
Consider, for example, Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch’s recent A Voice for Men post on the Edmonton poster controversies. Bloomfield — who apparently likes to think of herself as one of those no-nonsense women who can get by just fine without any help from feminists, thank you very much — begins by trying to ridicule the original Don’t Be That Guy posters as simple-minded, obvious and utterly unnecessary.
Referring to several specific posters from the original campaign, she writes:
No, obviously, you should not be having sex with a woman so drunk she is passed out face down on the couch with her ass in the air. …
Obviously, helping a drunk woman home does not entitle you to sex.
And in what is going to come as SHOCKING news to everyone, if someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, you should not have sex with them.
I’ll give you a while to process that information, because I’m sure that until this clever campaign came along, you were all busy screwing comatose girls at parties and gleefully hailing cabs so you could help ladies home and then rape them.
That would be very witty and pointed but for the fact that, guess what, men do attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep, and that there are plenty of men who seem to think that this counts as a sort of “no harm, no foul, no rape” situation.
Take a look at the discussion whenever this topic comes up on Reddit, for example. Or consider all those supporters of Julian Assange who pretend that the issue is women changing their mind after sex when in fact one of the things he’s been accused of is penetrating a woman sans condom while she was sleeping.
And as for “taking advantage” of seriously drunk women, well, there are plenty of men who think this is perfectly fine — and some who make this the centerpiece of their “seduction” technique. Indeed, one prominent PUA — Roosh V — has confessed to doing just that with one woman who was clearly too drunk to consent:
While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.
Somehow this confession — boast? — hasn’t, to my knowledge, earned him any condemnations from manosphere or MRA bloggers, or even, it seems, cost him any fans.
Meanwhile, on the very site Bloomfield is publishing her post, Paul Elam blames drunk women for being sexually assaulted, writing (as I pointed out yesterday) that women who drink with men are, “freaking begging” to be raped,
Damn near demanding it. … walk[ing] though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.
After dismissing the Don’t Be That Guy campaign as so much silliness, Bloomfield makes a sudden 180 degree turn and declares it the virtual equivalent of Nazi propaganda against Jews.
Which would be offensive if it weren’t so manifestly absurd. The Don’t Be That Guy campaign isn’t directed at men, per se. It’s directed at men WHO THINK IT’S OK TO RAPE WOMEN and/or MEN WHO MAKE EXCUSES FOR RAPISTS.
A good number of these men — and some women with similar beliefs — seem to spend much of their time reading and/or writing for manosphere sites like Roosh V’s blog and A Voice for Men.
“You mock me because you’re all bitter bitches who finally realize that all the men of quality, all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses, and instead rather find foreign women or go MGTOW. All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.”
Look, don’t conflate men of “quality” “talent and intelligence” with your crowd. Mr. GeologistSpouse uses evidence and sound reasoning to back up his arguments.
hellkell, we are awesome, that’s what. 😀
This is so utterly true.
Ohhh noez, Dr. Husband is going to leave me and stop trying to hook me up with hot ladies on the side, OH THE HUMANITY. And then I won’t have anyone to cook me tasty Italian food!
And you can feel morally superior while not doing anything about anything! How’s that for a self-serving belief system?
Pecunium, in case it wasn’t clear before, the line about steel melting was my summation of Loose-change style videos, not a direct quote from Petey. (although I’m sure we could find him saying it somewhere)
Aw man, hope things get better soon.
I dont get it. A fat guy makes a site called manboobs? Did he named it after himself?
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-25958.html
“we also have no potable water in the pipes right now, and haven’t for the past three days”
Youch, hope you’ve complained to whomever it is you complain to (and if you need a plumber, I might be able to help with that)
Also…
“You think rape is your right.
You are a danger to women, and make the lives of good men harder.”
*standing ovation*
Why? Because knowing there are actually good men in the world makes the Petey’s of the world just a wee bit less bothersome.
Translation: “Whatever you say, you’re wrong!”
I believe I was promised snow? ::is cross::
What a beautiful woman and what a beautiful cat.
(Ally, I think you might have confused one of Shaenon’s comments with Petey’s. Here’s how to tell them apart: Shaenon is the one who is actually awesome.)
More pictures of a place I would love to visit. Has anyone here been?
OT but this dog is awesome and I must share.
http://media-cache-ec3.pinimg.com/736x/82/32/70/8232706e76754d3f6eacd3f7a085557f.jpg
I would go so far as to suggest that Shaenon is A W E S O M E.
Oops. Sorry for that, Shaenon. V_V
Seconded!
Stupid line breaks.
I think you’re all A W E S O M E*. Group hug? With a non-hugging option (shy handwaves? a big pile o’ kittens?) for anyone who’s not so much of a hugger?
*Excluding of course Petey, who is an asshat.
sittiekitty, the lady and her white kitty have made my day. Thank you.
Testing something —
cloudiah: Has anyone here been?
Yes. It’s gorgeous, but hard work to get to. Hot, wet, far from people, so worth it. Took a day to hike in, (pack-in, pack-out), water was ancient (the spring we were using was filtering through hundreds of feet of sandstone, so between 200-400 years from rainfall to drinking), weather was warm.
It’s in the Paria, and you need to get permits to hike in. We took mules/packhorses, and were there for one week (which is as long as they would give us).
The water level rises/falls, based on rain you can’t always see. Many types of mud. Much fun. (see Petey, this is what we talk about when not bashing bathetic boobs)
Argenti: Youch, hope you’ve complained to whomever it is you complain to (and if you need a plumber, I might be able to help with that)
They told us. Broken 12″ main caused a pressure problem. Boil all water. :/ In a few more days I’ll be out of ice, but we have bottles, and I can use Gin (:)) to sterilise it.
Damn, test 2 & 3 —
Lol, so apparently HTML hates this (there are ways, but not ones allowed in WP comments it seems) but just hitting enter works.
pecunium — now that’s a use of gin I’ll buy! Any idea when it’ll be fixed? Cuz fun times!
No, really, I went home for lunch, as I worked 8~ min from my apt, go to leave and THAT happened. Had to call in that I’d be back as soon as I found a path that wasn’t a river…lucky they were amused by this. We weren’t without water for terribly long though, but this shit is altogether too common in Pittsburgh.
From now on, this is the sentence everyone should use for their blockquotes test.